Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

SN Friday night ... Too tired for ..

208 replies

Thecarrotcake · 28/01/2011 15:59

Drinks and snacks on the table ( non alchoholic and low carb stuff to the right)..

I have no children tonight.. I may doze on and off throughout the evening as last night was a long one with DS.

Had an interesting convo with school .. Ds is now not showing any signs of distress... And has been Cured... With a touch of maturity!
Damn.. I didn't know he just needed to grow up..
< shucks>
anyway i mentioned that his anxiety was coming out physically ( bad belly for weeks and sleep talking non stop... Which is keeping the house awake every night)... And guess what?! ... It's better it coming out that way than through hard work behaviour at school.!

I. Give. Up. !

OP posts:
intothewest · 28/01/2011 22:08

what a brilliant friend ! DD hardly gets to watch tv as ds is so contolling over ccbbbbbebies(not a typo) we are going to fix a tele up in her room

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:09

that should of been off*

1980Sport · 28/01/2011 22:09

What a lovely friend moose! That's amazing.

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:10

we've been to disneyland....a few too many times!!!

1980Sport · 28/01/2011 22:14

Very jealous devient!
Right my fizzy water and celery are all finished! Time for last feed for ds2 and hoping for a full night's sleep!
Have a lovely spa day super! And everyone else good weekends too!
Nightie night x

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:15

night sport, don't let the bed bugs bite Smile

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:16

All three of mine love Octonauts. Can't get excited about it meself. Grin

Devient, ds's teacher was involved in a handover that took a few weeks before the summer specifically so she was aware of the SEN needs of her class (there are two or three other children with greater or lesser needs in there). The Head (and the teacher actually) gushed about her X number of years teaching and X number of years in the school, highly experienced etc, etc - yet she is the only teacher in almost 6 years that has had a problem with ds. Basically, because she was told he had SEN before she met him, she pigeonholed him as a problem and will not change her mind. He gets blamed for everything that goes wrong in the class, despite it being proven otherwise in 99% of cases. It makes me so Angry and Sad for ds all at the same time.

Dh and mine's best mate (Hmm I'm sure that's bad English) started out as a teacher and is now a learning mentor in an EBU. He said he started teaching with absolutely no SEN awareness whatsoever and is appalled when he thinks back now. As you said, he just wasn't encouraged to study it and didn't realise it would be significant in his job role, so chose different modules.

We are in the process of creating a passport for ds with his Ed Psych. They have also created a mini one which is going to be kept with the register and highlighted to any supply or additional teaching staff. I'm hoping this might make at least some difference, but what hope is there when his teacher is fully aware of his problems, but fails to take them into consideration.

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:23

Yep, ds's friend is one in a million. Strangely though, we have been discussing trying to widen his social circle by building a circle of friends etc as when he's not around ds is bereft. Twice a week he has clubs etc at lunch times that ds doesn't attend and ds just wanders the playground, often getting bullied in the process.

They've been together since nursery and ds does rely on him too much really. I feel like a traitor though, although we have no intention of separating them at all, just giving ds other options if possible. I have a feeling theirs is going to be a lifelong friendship.

That said, its scary to think they might end up at different secondaries, as the one our school is a feeder for has just become an academy and I'm not sure how the land lies with them accepting SEN pupils. I do know they are likely to put up a fight though. He simply wouldn't cope in secondary without his best mate. Sad

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:27

Moose, I think it's down to the attitudes of the teacher, some just don't want to change. It could be her way of not wanting the challenge of your ds. It is heartbreaking and me personally would ask what she had against him to keep victimising him, but thats me and I am a rather impulsive person at times.
I have issues at my sons special needs school, where they are not taking consideration of his needs. This has now left us at the point where my son is not accessing school due to his fears there.
I hope the passport works and at the end of the day, the teachers can't read up on common sense!! Sorry I'm not much help Blush

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:29

Into, ds1 used to be a complete remote control fascist. So much so that ds2 at the age of 6, is still not too sure on how to use it.

We put our foot down last year though and now the controls have to stay in one place where anyone can get them if they need them. Prior to that they were practically glued to ds1's hand and we only watched what he wanted to watch.

I think we slipped into it because there were so many things he was frightened of watching, it was easier to let him choose.

We're just starting to realise how much our lives have come to revolve around ds1 and we're currently trying to redress the balance back in ds2's favour. We've had lots of tears from ds2 recently about how badly his brother's behaviour and rigidity etc affects him and hadn't really given enough thought to how much of an impact it was having on his life. I am so cross with myself for not stepping in sooner though.

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:30

Start the ball rolling now RE secondary, esp if he's only got 1 or so year left. Ask them what you need to know. Get another peer/group built into the IEP, classroom targets etc. Apologies if this is already happening.

chickchickchicken · 28/01/2011 22:30

Hi everyone, thought i would share my success with getting ds laptop replaced by pc world after successfully arguing (and refusing to leave the shop Blush) until they accepted that the reason we took out and paid a huge amount for their 'whatever happens' extra warranty was because ds has dyspraxia and very accident prone. they werent happy that it had been repaired 3 times in 3 years. i told them i was very pleasantly surprised it was only 3 times Grin

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:36

Devient, I think you're right, she isn't going to change and it is heartbreaking. I get so cross that we have to walk on eggshells and jump through her hoops so that we can maintain a working relationship and not end up with an atmosphere between us. If we went head to head I think it would make things much worse fo ds and there's no point in complaining as the Head will back his teacher every time (have seen that happen several times before).

Fortunately, it is just her, the majority of other teachers in the school are lovely and all the teachers he's had previously have been very fond of him. Luckily, he doesn't have her for a full week. His other teacher is lovely and he always comes home happy on her days. We have documented evidence of the discrepancy via his feelings diary, should be need to use it. Ds was school refusing at the beginning of this year, he has worked with a fantastic Ed Psych and his feelings diary has helped him gain a certain amount of perspective as well and he's happy to go most days at the moment. If he ever started to decline to that point again I think I would dereg him, in fact I threatened to do just that to the senior Ed Psych a couple of weeks back and suddenly we had support coming out of our ears.

superfantastic · 28/01/2011 22:36

Well done chickchick. :)

intothewest · 28/01/2011 22:37

ds can't actually use the remote (fine motor skills)- he just repeats getting louder and louder- we do say dd turn now,ds next etc - and sharing-but mostly dd says 'oh it doesn't matter;I wasn't watching it' etc because she doesn't want a melt down (DD 14) It is hard for her and we do try to make it up in other ways

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:39

No, its not already happening, I don't have a clue where to start, so your advice is really appreciated.

We've had to wait to see if the school got Academy status and then how it ran for a while before we could find out how they are on SEN admissions. We are just about to start on the whole statementing stress, but are slightly concerned that they might be less inclined to take him if he has a statement. Confused I really need to get my head around all this before he starts year 5 in September.

All advice on this particular quandry gratefully received. Smile

intothewest · 28/01/2011 22:39

excellent chickchick - you had 'right on your side' !

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:40

moose, you can only dereg a child from mainstream, if they are in special school you have to go through the LA and so becomes harder. Although we have a meeting with ds psychiatrist at the beginning of Feb, he's hopefull, fingers crossed going to do a letter to say he's anxious about school.....then he will be entitled to a home tutor!!

purplepidjin · 28/01/2011 22:41

Evening all Smile

Firmly on the right here, after softboiled duck egg and pink wine for supper after work. Managed to sail through an infection control audit from the nursing manager, who raised a Hmm eyebrow afterwards when she found out I've only read the policies and haven't actually done any training. Also that I knew what I was on about despite skim reading them all in the one day. Apparently I'm not supposed to be able to do that Hmm

Was completely fucked off yesterday taking Dude out on the train. Yes, you have space for a wheelchair. What about the fact that someone needs to be behind the wheelchair to push it? Or that people in wheelchairs often have feet which stick out the front? And don't let me start on how many fucking huge hills there are in Bournemouth he insisted on being pushed up. Or the state of the disabled cesspits toilets!!! At least I didn't get smacked in the face this week Grin

I love this place and you guys, btw. If I had a rant like that anywhere else, I'd get outpourings of shock and rage. Here, we know it's just one of them shitty things life throws

intothewest · 28/01/2011 22:44

evening purple.....and now it's the weekend- or do you have to work ?

devientenigma · 28/01/2011 22:45

Hi purple, I see you managed to get off facebook, I nearly told you to come over but I have been deliberatly keeping off posts tonight...if you seen my status.
Don't know if I fancy the duck egg Blush

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:47

Good work chickchick, another SN Mum with her kick butt boots on wins the day! Grin

Into, that's just how ds got to be king of the remote, it was just easier than constant meltdowns and his brother is both very laid back and keen to please him. My two are closer in age though, ds1 is 8 and ds2 is 6 and as their developmental gap closes and ds2 matures, he's starting to recognise that not all children behave like ds1 and he doesn't have to just take what he dishes out. They love each other so much, but fight in equal measures - like most siblings I guess. Its complicated, there's ds1's AS, the whole sibling rivalry thing and I think the two year age gap is particularly tough as well. It can be difficult to see where the problem lies sometimes as the edges are all blurred, iyswim.

Ironically, our whole family/life has always been biased towards keeping ds1 happy, but he is convinced we favour his brother and even tells us he thinks we love ds2 more than him. It doesn't matter what or how much we do for him, he always assumes that ds2 has got more or better, when in actual fact its pretty much always ds2 that loses out or gets sidelined. Sad

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:49

Devient, I will keep everything crossed that the meeting goes your way so that ds can get a home tutor.

purplepidjin · 28/01/2011 22:51

I'm off this weekend - and next Shock

I've booked it as holiday because it's DP's birthday on the Sunday. We're going to the 8ball diner in Essex, meeting some friends for lunch there then staying in a 4* hotel overnight. Lunch with his family on Sunday. He has no idea about any of it Grin I'm going to set my alarm for the normal time on Saturday morning then just roll over and tell him I can't be arsed to go to work Grin How evil???

Evening, Dev! Facefuck is still open in a different tab, just trying to catch up here now after 2 days of work with youth club in between I seriously do not know how you all keep going 24/7 - rispeck, homies Wink

moosemama · 28/01/2011 22:51

Evening Purple.

Well done at passing the audit with flying colours.

That train trip sounds like a nightmare.

Hope you can get some downtime this weekend to recover.