New Year No Cry Sleep Solution Thread

[BertieBotts]

Does anyone want to join me in going through the whole book of the No Cry Sleep Solution and doing it properly, like a New Year's resolution type thing? (I am happy to start a week or few into the new year if people need time to sort things out first, get a copy of the book, etc)

I ask because the first time I read the book, I was quite sleep deprived and frustrated and looking for quick solutions, and didn't really realise that it's not so much a book of suggestions as a process to go through which helps change your thoughts as much as your behaviour surrounding sleep. I did the sleep logs, and then DS was ill, and then it was Christmas and we went away for a week, and I just felt it was pointless starting anything new after all that so I probably need to do the sleep logs again before I start so that I have a better comparison. But as a bonus I already have the different suggestions from chapter 4 summarised with page numbers which should be helpful.

Does anyone want to join me?

Goodness knows what was going on in my head last night.

First I had one of those moments of panic when I woke up about midnight convinced DD was somewhere in the bed so I woke husband up frantically throwing the covers off looking for her.

Then about an hour later she started crying and in my mind she needed a biscuit so I was trying to find one in my bedside cabinet for about 2 minutes until I realised that she'd never even eaten a biscuit let alone needed one in the middle of the night.

That's what being tired does to you. I wonder what I would have done if I had managed to find a biscuit!

Sleep logs tonight...

Oh where to start

I chickened out last night as I was too tired. We had a terrible night, awake from 3 - 4.30 plus lots of wakings.

Now he has D and V so I'm waiting for us all to topple like ninepins.

Back in a couple of days I think, am just going to go with the flow(of diarrhea mostly!)

Sympathy for you moaning - DD is poorly too, up most of last night crying as she had a temperature and obviously felt terrible. Only way I could get her to sleep was cuddling...and couldn't put her down at all, so spent a good 3 hours sitting in bed with her sleeping on me. At least I got to finish my book!

Seems a bit better today but NCSS is derailed again for this household. Seems like we're never going to get properly going!

DD 2.9 has got D and V too, just had to change all bedding/pjs/shower her. Feel like the clock is ticking for me now.

Hey all, been a while since any updates - has everyone given up, or are the babies sleeping through the night, so no need for NCSS anymore? And Moaning how's the D&V going? Hope you're over the worst!

We're (overall) not doing too badly here. I swapped DSs nap time to the afternoon, which seems to be helping, although I have to be careful not to leave it too late as then he gets overtired and spends about an hour messing about in his cot before he sleeps - so the whole pm goes in his nap!

Also, took the advice you all gave me earlier and have swapped Waybuloo and bath, so I bring him downstairs all clean and in his grobag and we both crash in front of the tv for 20 mins (I normally fall asleep as soon as it starts! ) and after the 1st couple of nights when it made him lively to take him upstairs again, it also seems to be helping.

He is still waking at night, but sometimes has a whimper or talks to himself and self-settles, and he seems to only need feeding once a night (now jinxing myself!).

So, fingers crossed he stays on a good pattern now!

So... updates everyone please!

I've love to join this thread ... my DS is 14 months and before we went on holiday at Christmas he was waking once of twice in the night (I've been super soft - rocking or dancing him to sleep in my arms and then picking him up when he cries in the night). Then away from home for 3 weeks over Christmas he wouldn't sleep in his cot in strange places so he ended up in our bed from about 10am.
Now I need to do something, pronto, before his speech improves. He's currently sleeping in his cot with me next to him on a mattress - when he wakes I shove my arm through bars; he sleeps. Just to get him used to cot again before I show him what's what - or will be.

But we live in India and I have no access to a Pantley book - is there a website, or a thread or something that will give me the basics? I know the first step is to get him to go to sleep on his own in cot: how to do that?

Thanks so much!

Don't hate me but, er, yes, we've pretty much achieved our aims.

DD is now sleeping from about 7:45 and waking once, or sometimes not at all until 6am. Other than a nasty bout of teething, we've not had any of the long periods of being awake in the night.

Now, I know that wouldn't be some people's definition of good sleep and they would want a straight 12 hours, but up once for a feed and easily resettled is fine by me. The day when she went straight through to 6:30 was bliss though!

Due - tell us what your problems are and maybe we can suggest some stuff. It's more a 'menu' than a set regime, so you pick the things that you think might help your baby.

wow - a success story. I'm intrigued!

What do you think particularly worked for you confusedFTM?

I've been using the pull-off tehnique and dd (20wks) now soothes herself to sleep more often, meaning that she wakes me up less often. But we are still getting regular wakings at 2am and 6am, that seem to be just a body clock thing.

Hi all, I've been wondering how you were all getting on.

Well, touch wood, don't want to speak to soon, we have had a lot of success. At night DD now settles herself in her cot at about 6.30/7ish with a bit of singing and stroking, wakes up about 40 minutes later to finish off her bottle ( - she refuses to have more than a couple of ounces before she goes to sleep- just one of her little quirks I think ) and then...most nights... (I really don't want to jinx it by writing it down) sleeps through until about 6.30am

She occasionally has a little cry (under a minute) in the night but then manages to either get comfy or find her dummy (still not managed to get her to sleep without it) and settle herself back off.

Now, if she doesn't stop crying pretty quickly I can usually be sure that there's actually something wrong - e.g. in the last 2 weeks she's woken up twice because she was wet, once because she was peckish and once because I think she was cold.

Naps in the day are reasonable but I'm struggling bit with getting the balance between her having good naps and actually going out and doing anything. She definitely sleeps better at home in her cot, pushchair or on my lap but most days we go out at least once so unless I plan everything with military precision it doesn't always work out.

Hope everyone else had had at least a bit of success. I'm sure our good sleep won't last - she still hasn't got any teeth so we still have the joy of teething to come plus all the development spurts that seem to throw a spanner in the works!

confusedfirsttimemum - well done! that's great news. 745 to 6 is wonderful! As for me - thanks - I suspect part of the prob is that DS does not go to sleep in his cot but in my arms. He just loves being cuddled to sleep and over holidays,co sleeping, got used to closeness in night. Now back in cot but wakes to find himself alone coupleof times a night and needs a cuddle. I don't suppose I can get him off to sleep by himself without a lot of crying, but any tips to make it easier for a super-alert, but-by-bedtime-tired baby would be much appreciated. He's 14 months and walking. Eats plenty. Weaned from breast at 12 months.

Hey guys, glad to hear some success stories. I now feel depressed - I have been doing everything we put into our plan but has made no difference whatsoever. I haven't done sleep logs as dd's sleep is so erratic I can't see the point of recording it one night when the next night could be very different.
Starting to think dd is just a very rubbish sleeper
Oh well, this shall pass...

loopy sorry you've not had much luck (I think a lot of it does come down to luck). It's not forever.

As for our mild success...I knew it couldn't last.

DD came down with a cold the night before last and has been up every hour for the last 2 nights. We've had to sit rocking her for hours at a time at night just so she's been able to get some decent sleep poor little thing

Hey ho, hopefully when she's better she'll pick it up again fairly quickly [optimistic emoticon]

Thanks juan
I hope that your dd can get back into routine after her cold - it's such a shame after making progress! I'm sure it'll take a lot less effort this time anyway.

I wish a good night's sleep to everyone

Hi, I've been folowing this thread. I planned to start the plan after christmas but it's been '1 thing after another' with my 7 mnth DD. She used to sleep well. However I have been working on some of the solutions, mainly the daytime routine and she get 3 hrs regularly a day. I have tried to make the hour nap longer following EP suggestion, thinking I'd just have to do it for 1 wk... a mnth later I still have to sooth her after 40 mins but when she goes back to sleep she sleeps for 1 hr or more..and the soothing is easier. Also using the gentle removal technique and putting her down sleepy... even 2 weeks ago I thought it impossible that she'd ever fall asleep alone but gradually I can see her self soothing and she has fallen asleep alone quiet a few times since. Its so nice to watch. I do feel we are getting somewhere but it really is slow. The main difference is how I feel, I have mroe hope now and feel more confident about what I am doing. So, when she gets over her second cold I'll do the plan properly (smile)

that smiley didnt work..!

Um, well the big thing that worked for us was gradual retreat. DD wasn't a 'feed to sleep' baby, but she did need us to sit with our hand on her tummy and talking to her (sort of ssh/pat, but without much actual patting!). Over a few weeks I reduced this, first by sitting with her and sshing, but taking my hand away (back on if she got upset). Once that worked, I sat on the floor by her cot and sshed. Then I moved across the room. Then in the door, then outside the door. Now we just sit outside her room for a couple of minutes and talk to her if she needs it.

The great thing with that due is that you didn't need lots of crying. If there is real crying (not just a bit of a grumble, when I would continue with the reassurance I was doing), you go back to what works. You could formulate a similar plan, starting with feeding to sleep, then maybe until almost asleep but, once in cot, staying with your arms around him till he drifts off, etc. I really have found that getting the going to sleep right has enabled DD to often settle herself off if she wakes. We fairly frequently here one little 'arghhh' in the night for 10 seconds, followed by a rustling noise as she gets herself comfortable and goes back to sleep.

This, plus being more focused on day naps , has really paid off. There it was mostly that, without realising it, I was thinking about all those baby schedule books and what they tell you about naps. Once I worked out DD's preferred nap times (not when you might think!), she slept longer and was happier.

Another thing, which I can't take credit for, is that DD has started to suck her thumb and uses this to put herself back off if she stirs. I think though, if we hadn't cracked going off to sleep in a room on her own, that wouldn't have done it on its own.

We still have the odd 'not great' night. Last night the feed was at 4:30 (then slept until 6:45). The night before the first waking was at 5:30, but she never really went back off. The problem there was that she's started rolling over in her cot and doesn't seem to remember in the night how to roll back, so wakes herself fully. It's baby steps, but overall I am soooo much happier.

Hi, I've been watching this thread but DD has had colds/ear infections since Christmas Hopefully we're back on track now.

I have read the NCSS book about three times since DD was born... she's 11 months now. We have had success recently in moving her to her cot, and she has two good naps during the day. However she is still waking up at night every couple of hours, and tends not to settle until I bf her. She still takes some good feeds at night, so I do wonder if she is actually hungry, or if we have just got into some bad habits?

DD still doesn't eat much - mainly finger foods as she refuses the spoon, and most of it ends up on the floor. She doesn't drink much from a beaker and absolutely refuses to take a bottle. Her weight gain has slowed recently so I have been trying my best to get more calories inside her... I would love to tail off the breastfeeding a bit as she approaches her first birthday... and feel confident that she doesn't need the night feeds... but I guess I will just have to be patient and wait for her to finally 'get it' and start eating and drinking properly...? Or maybe sleeping and eating are not so connected as they have become in my mind?!

Hi Cathbath and welcome.

I was thinking about this thread the other day. We did all get D and V but recovered quickly, but it has really been one thing after another here - he also got a nasty virus/high temp thing at beginning of last week and ended up on the childrens ward but fine now.

Things are a bit better here - think the teething was making it worse. Last 2 nights he only fed ONCE and slept quite well overall. Tonight I have been at work til 1am and everyone is asleep so that means DH has been able to settle him without a bedtime feed

I went for the high tech method of...actually not feeding him every time he woke, it works mostly. I am such a numpty for not trying sooner.

Will try to keep updated now thread is active again

i have just bought this book and really don't know the best way to go about getting ds to sleep. he is 14 months and wakes every hour and stand on his bed screaming

i am exhausted

tegan Me too, had another terrible night last night. DS is 13.5months and I am so fed up partly because I thought he would have improved by now. Some of the stuff I have read in other books says not to worry about lying them back down, but my DS stands, shouts/screams and falls about til he bangs his head and gets hysterical.

Think he is teething again, still only got 3 teeth so far. Am shattered though.

i know what you mean owen is just like that, but i don't think teething can be blamed for everything, so should we put up with this till they have all their teeth?

Thank you so much confusedftm. Extremely helpful advice on gradual withdrawal for bedtime which I will implement (as soon as baby is better!) I think our situation may be a little confused by a dummy - which I have always put back in myself when he wakes in the night. Maybe I can get him to pick it up and put in his mouth himself when he first goes into cot ... Anyway, well done to you and thanks too...

Some progress here - DS has been sleeping in his proper upstairs cot at least until 5am ish if he won't settle back down. And down to 1 or sometimes 2 night feeds mostly.

Am less despairing, hope everyone else is seeing a bit of hope too. Quite nice for me to get to sleep in my bed instead of on the settee too

Sleep logs for erratic sleep - I did sleep logs over 3 days and took an average. Then when I did the sleep logs later, I did three days again and saw if there was any overall improvement.

After my awful night (he had started to fight any method I had of getting him to sleep, ending up totally overtired and distraught but still not giving in) I decided to get a bit stricter with myself. I lay down with DS and kept lying him down every time he sat up/crawled/stood up. I had to steel myself for it taking a long time, and it did - it took about an hour. When he got giggly, I just carried on. When he grizzled, I carried on. When he decided he wanted to cuddle me and kiss me and laugh, I let him do that. He got a bit angry/upset/frustrated at one point and stopped trying to get up but just lay there crying in an annoyed way, I rubbed his back a bit and that didn't seem to help so I rolled him over to feed, which actually made him go to sleep. (Hooray! )

This was about 1am. The next day I did the routine properly, made sure he only had one nap (he fell asleep in the afternoon on the way home but I woke him up) and went to bed with him at 6ish. Kept lying him down and this time it took 30 mins-45 mins. I wondered whether his fighting sleep was due to insecurity over me leaving XP so I stayed with him, from 7pm all night (I woke up at 11 and tried to sneak downstairs but I got as far as having a wee and a drink and he woke up!) and I read a book in the room from 11 until about 2am, then I just went to sleep.

Well - would you believe it, the next night, I fed him in bed and after 10 minutes, he rolled over and went to sleep. No fighting, no messing around. He did wake every hour until I went to bed, but he was easy to settle and it was such a massive improvement that I didn't care! After a couple of nights, it was 2 hours, then 2.5, then 3. We never got further than this as keep having interruptions, teething, funny naps, me going out one night - but it really is a huge improvement.

The big thing for me has been that I have been working late so DH has put him to bed and settled him while I'm not here, and he has done it really well, I am just crap at trying to settle him without feeding him.

he had just one feed last night at 3ish since going to bed about 8.45.

Just got home from work and he is still asleep so far,he only really fed at 2pm and 5pm today as wasn't interested first thing this morning.

Hope it continues, one feed a night is fine by me.