Baby feeds hourly at night

[Inneedofsupport]

I’m absolutely broken and I can’t do it anymore. Husband and baby are asleep next to me. I’m on my 4th wake up already and it’s not 3am yet when the torture really starts.

I think my 9mo is reverse cycling. She is waking every 1-2hr and feeds. I have tried not giving her the boob but she moans and cries until she gets it. She is in a side car cot next to me. In her earlier months I ended up co sleeping because I needed more sleep. Whenever I lifted her out of the next to me and fed her and tried to put her back in, she’d wake and I’d end up holding her. So I decided to co sleep so I’d get more sleep. Health visitor told me to learn how to feed lying down and continue ‘feeding responsively’ Then I got this cot inside car’d. And so here we are. Health visitors aren’t here in the night are they…

I’ve been trying gentle sleep training as I thought she wasn’t ‘linking cycles’. In quotes as I’m not even sure it’s a thing anymore. She now doesn’t fall asleep with boob and I have to walk her. But in the night she feeds and goes back to sleep. But I can’t.

In the day there is not set times for feeds. I logged feed after feed after feed and never ever saw a pattern. She now just feeds about 4 times in total daytime. 3 solids meals daily. Porridge/eggs. Lunch maybe a cheese sandwich bites and banana, dinner tonight was beef and rice and she ate loads.

Sorry I’m rambling. I don’t know how to fix it. I want her to sleep in the cot and feed properly in the day time. Like all my other mum friends do. I don’t want to ‘give in’ and get a floor bed.

People keep asking me if she’s sleeping through the night. If I’m enjoying motherhood. No and no. My mum keeps saying she thinks I look a bit tired. Husband says he’ll help with night settling but he doesn’t even hear her wake up. I tell him I do this feeding like this so everyone gets more sleep. Don’t think he really appreciates what it means for me and what would his night would look like if just got up and went in the other room and locked the door.

Sorry for the ramble. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

It’s in my recent update @user1497787065 but to summarise I’ve stopped bfing now and moving to her own room made no difference.

Yeah he didn’t tolerate it at first - crying and writhing as soon as we put it down, the patting was probably more for us than for him, in reality we were just sitting with him until he fell asleep. Patting by itself sometimes now works but when we started this wasn’t the case at all, anything less than boob or vigorous bouncing was unacceptable 😂 He was 8 months at the time so no standing but he does sit up now and we go in every 10-15 mins to lay him back down. Think you’re right drowsy but awake doesn’t work at this age, it’s either awake or fully asleep.

@Lelongducanal We had the sitting up too, and had to lay back down. Once she learned how to do it herself we had literally one or two episodes where she sat up and went down herself. We thought we’d turned a corner. Then she learned how to pull up and we’re back where we were, as she she can’t yet get down from a standing position! One thing after another 😂

Anyway. Sending solidarity. I hope it gets better for you.