Put your baby to bed awake - how???

[Stefka]

If I do this he cries. I spend all night rocking or feeding him to sleep. He then wakes up after about half an hour crying. I am guessing he gets a fright finding himself in bed alone when he fell asleep on me. I don't know how to break the habit though. I try putting him down sleepy but he cries.

He's just been diagnosed with reflux so that is probably part of the problem. I will try and get him down for naps awake first - that's a good idea. I will also try and get some kind of music for him.

I can agree with most of the postings here. My own experience is that I felt I needed to find a way of helping my little one to sleep on his own at about five months. The Baby Whisperer (solves all your problems, not secrets of) really helped. I read the whole book and adapted some of the approached to suit me. We've gone from screaming in the cot (day or night) to gurgling and playing until he drops off to sleep. It took longer than I expected (c. 6 wks) and we still have the odd relapse but overall we are in a good place and I wish I had have done this earlier. Read the book (you have nothing to lose) and make your own mind up about the right time. Bets of luck.

buggered if i know... 3 babies and not a clue how to put them down awake.

now they are 2, 3 and 4 tho, bedtimes are a doddle. they all go to bath/story/bed together and go to sleep in own beds in same room within 10 minutes of lights out.

so my lackadaisical approach to early routines clearly had no lasting awful consequences

Stefka- My chap is an osteopath and he's treated many many babies with sleep problems. Even reflux can be eased by a good cranial osteopath. Its worth a try. If you check out the General Osteopathic Council 0207 357 6655 they will be able to recommend a qualified cranial osteopath near you and perhaps one who specialises in children.

also I have to say, my sister is a paediatrician. She has 4 kids and always went with the flow with all of them. She hasn't had a full nights sleep for 10 years because at least one of them will wake up at least once. She regrets not doing a routine. I did the contented baby routine, mainly through severe pnd I absolutely needed a routine and it worked really well for dd. (its aimed at bf babies)

Hope your ds reflux calms down soon poor little chap and I hope you find a sleep method that works for both of you.

Hi there Stefka, I sympathise. This is what 'worked' for me... Sorry this is a long one

DD1 was a nightmare, she only slept during the day on me and at night once asleep was fine and would sleep through from about 6 months, but getting her there was a different matter. Did CC. And though it never really worked - didn't know of MN and couldn't think of anything else. The first couple of nights was an hour and a half of full blown screaming then after that she would cry from 2mins to 20mins with us going in every 3mins saying "time for sleeping - night night." She is brill now, stories and turn out the light with some music on and she is off to sleep since about 2.6 she's now 3.8

Anyway DD2 - Different entirely - and this is WEIRD i know... i discovered it purely by chance that one day out of desperation - I was going out, just come out of shower with wet hair - As i dried it with babe in crib crying - she fell asleep - white noise i guess. Day naps were sorted - put hairdryer on floor, flick on and within 30 secs she'd be asleep and after 5 i'd go in and turn it off. My brother recorded my hairdryer for 6mins and i had a cd of 6 tracks of my hairdryer... bizarre but it worked for quite a while... I've heard the hoover works and so can the washing machine.

Nighttime, I bf to sleep like DD1 knowing i was setting up trouble for later... didn't care as it meant sleep, and i am quite selfish I guess. Have never been able to sit with her for hours in the middle of the night. Most nights she goes down (15months now) nae bother. Occasionally she is unsettled and cries. Temper mostly - how dare you leave me here!!! I didn't do the CC thing till 6 months and wasn't as strict about it as with DD1. We have been more chilled... Still what am i trying to say? Oh yes - We tried a mixture of sitting cuddling which works till i put her down. Standing in the doorway till she is asleep though when i try to leave she can wake and start the whole thing off from the beginning. I've tried reading her to sleep, she can hear me and see me, but doesn't have the cuddle and so doesn't miss me quite so much when i go. They have all worked once or twice and then she twiggs - if she cries mummy stays longer... So if i want any sleep at all i still end up leaving her to cry and i am too by this point. I know it is soul destroying listening to your baby cry like her heart is going to break in two.(mine certainly is!). However for me if i leave DD2 to cry, checking her a couple of times it is over fairly quickly - and in her waking times she is so happy and burbly she's fab so i really don't think it affects her. But you HAVE to be strong and ready to go for it - There is no point letting the lo cry for an hour and then go pick them up. YOU and DP have to be ready to leave them till they fall asleep. Guaranteed it would probably been only another 5 mins if you had held out... and every subsequent time it is less and less.

DD2 now goes down awake day or night without fuss - the odd night but that is usually teeth. Hold out hope It will get better 2 months or 20 months - you will get there. And then you forget it all anyway...

Oh goodness - not sure whether the following will help but I thought I had a baby who thought sleep was for wimps and was allways distressed because of digestion issues. I tried everything that people told me bar the controlled crying route. She went to a cranial osteo (who at least enabled her to lie flat - before she was allways curled up!) a homeopath and accupuncturist ( no needles before anyone winces just pressure points)but still she wouldn't sleep day or night bar a couple of hours no more than an hour and a half at a time.
At 5 months I had to udergo an operation and as I couldn't produce enough milk to express I had no option but to put her onto bottle instead of breast. Two days later she slept through from 7-7, took a morning and lunchtime nap and became the most beautifully tempered girl - she was just hungry and over-tired. She only ever cried when I put her down when she is too tired and then I soothe her. Unfortunately now I have hit the teething issue! GOing to search for a strand on that xx

If your baby falls asleep whilst feeding, take the nipple or bottle of his mouth as soon as he starts to nod off, pick him up, hold him up high above you and talk to him so that his eyes open and he looks at you, say something lovely and smile, then carry on feeding if you don't think he's had enough, but if he has had enough lay him down where he sleeps. Make sure his eyes are open when you tuck him in stroke his cheek say "sleepy time now darling, see you in the morning" etc. If he has an over the cot mobile put that on for a few minutes.

It really really really does make a difference is baby is awake, even if only for seconds when put down to sleep, and they nod off without being in your arms. The midwives and health visitors and mums with older children and MILs wouldn't say it if it didn't.

This also applies to girls .

The problem is if I put him down awake he cries and I don't like to leave him.

I am trying to just shush him when he wakes up - I do have to pick him up though. I am going to try it for a week or so and see if it gets any better. Fingers crossed.