Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Put your baby to bed awake - how???

83 replies

Stefka · 26/01/2008 23:01

If I do this he cries. I spend all night rocking or feeding him to sleep. He then wakes up after about half an hour crying. I am guessing he gets a fright finding himself in bed alone when he fell asleep on me. I don't know how to break the habit though. I try putting him down sleepy but he cries.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JingleyJen · 26/01/2008 23:03

how long does he cry for? if you pick him up the second he cries you wouldn't know that within a minute he may have settled himself - if he cries for longer then I think it depends on how old he is

MommaFeelgood · 26/01/2008 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Stefka · 26/01/2008 23:09

Sorry - 14 weeks.

OP posts:

blueshoes · 26/01/2008 23:30

Stefka, I have NEVER been able to put dd or ds down sleepy without them crying hysterically, unable to soothe themselves and consequently not sleeping. Some babies just don't do that.

I co-sleep with dd and now ds. It is what works for us.

MegBusset · 26/01/2008 23:32

14 weeks is very early to worry about self-settling. DS would only feed to sleep at this age, and yes, he did wake up a lot. (I co-slept to ease the pain somewhat.) He got better at self-settling as he got older, some time around 7/8mo I stopped having to BF to sleep.

MommaFeelgood · 26/01/2008 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bertolli · 26/01/2008 23:37

Well put MF!

Catkin08 · 26/01/2008 23:51

Agree with MFG entirely!!

DS is now 7m and used to go down in his cot only after falling asleep in my or DH's arms. In the past month he started waking up 10 mins after being put down and shrieking hysterically as if frightened to have woken alone.
We began rousing him slightly upon putting him in his cot and making sure that he knew where he was with various cues such as his mobile, a lullaby on the monitor, his favourite blankie/toy which remains in his cot, even the smell in there is different as I use a (baby-friendly, chemical free! ) spray. We then left him to go back to sleep alone, only going back in if he cried for 10 mins or more and even then just to try and soothe him.

He now goes down awake and we leave him with all of his lovely sleep cues (we've added a little fibre optic light now!!) and he (usually ) drops off by himself.

So that's what's working for us. I think you really do have to find what works for you. Listen to other people but just think about what feels right and see what works.

Good luck!

Twinklemegan · 26/01/2008 23:54

You absolutely have to follow your own instincts, and don't worry about it at all at 14 weeks. I can't even remember how old DS was before he stopped going to sleep on DH's shoulder every night. It will come, and you'll start to see signs that he's ready to try on his own. For example, if you just can't sooth him to sleep it could be that he needs to try on his own, so give it a go.

But PLEASE don't worry. Even now we occasionally have to resort to getting DS (18 months) off to sleep with us and then put him down, but mostly he's happy to go off on his own. At night that is - daytime naps are a whole different ball game.

verylittlecarrot · 27/01/2008 00:34

Stefka, not only is my dd unable to fall asleep unless in the sling or being breastfed, the concept of "put down" is completely alien to her too. She will wake INSTANTLY the moment she is moved once asleep and needs bf / bouncing all over again.

Her cries escalate into frantic screams very quickly.

She has never slept in her cot. EVER.

I co-sleep out of pure necessity, because she will sleep well if it is next to me. I decided to go with the flow long ago and hope that she just grows out of it in time!!!!

Nessamommy · 27/01/2008 04:26

I was worried about this too for some time, but after discussing it with friends, I'm not going to worry anymore. My baby is 4 months old and I have to admit...I do nurse him to sleep most of the time. There have been a few times where I've put him down semi-awake and he's gone down on his own. I was worried that I was creating a bad sleeper, but one friend of mine told me she did it with both of her children, and they are now both a bit older and are terrific sleepers. Another friend told me to just do whatever happens until he is 6 months old...then I can work on "sleep training". Whatever works for sleep I say!

blueshoes · 27/01/2008 10:19

verylittlecarrot, my dd is just like yours. She will grow out of it - I guarantee you. dd, now 4.6, falls asleep from awake and sleeps right through. No rush, it will happen in time

GrinningSoul · 27/01/2008 10:23

chillax - i bf'd mine to sleep til age 1, then stopped rather abruptly and they just learnt to go to sleep. but not easily - i did a bit of controlled crying, i don't have kids who naturally want to sleep alone - but it all works out. good luck - it really is very early days so just do whatever gives you the most sanity right now.

TrinityRhinosDhWonHerAnIPOD · 27/01/2008 10:25

catkin- 10 mins or more
honestly do not know how any mother can actgually just listen to their baby trying to tell them they need something and ignore it

TrinityRhinosDhWonHerAnIPOD · 27/01/2008 10:27

but about the op
I am now cosleeping with my 3rd bf baby
she has vwery occasionally and with no attempt by me, fallen asleep from awake in her cot but really my kids just do not do this.
by age 2 they are going to bed awake and sleeping well so I just chill

TrinityRhinosDhWonHerAnIPOD · 27/01/2008 10:31

actually I dont chill at all
I haven't had more than 3 hours straight sleep (except for 3 very memorable 5 hour stretches) in 2 and a half years

I have no memory, sometimes, I cannot function properly from such prolonged lac of sleep
but I see it as what happens when you have babies
I get upset and angry about it sometimes, o really bad days
but it will pass

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 27/01/2008 10:54

I had this problem - have you been reading GF (she-who-must-not-be-named)?

I took the advice with a copious pinch of salt and did whatever worked for me at the time. Do you use a sleeping-bag for him? It does seem to keep lo snuggly for longer.

Catkin08 · 27/01/2008 11:32

Trinity - When I say crying for ten minutes I really don't mean actual distressed crying!! More like whinging/grumbling etc. If he was screaming or really crying then of course I wouldn't just leave him. Sorry if it came across that way and alarmed anyone!

I do firmly believe that you have to find your own way with your babies sleeping but I also think that if things aren't working then you need to try different ways.

Trinity - I really feel for you - I'd be a wreck if DS slept that badly!

Godzilla - would second that sleeping bag recommendation. I find them to be invaluable. DS has never slept with blankets/sheets or covers - he'd just pull them over his head!

ConnieDescending · 27/01/2008 11:41

Have you tried swaddling? And wedging something under the crib/ moses basket to raise babies head.....some babies dont like to lay flat.

I tend to put babies down awake for naps in the day to get them used to self-soothing and am more inclined to rock/ feed to sleep at night times. I start off putting them down when they are fast asleep and then gradually put them down when they are more and more awake as time goes on until they can settle awake. Of course you do need to do this when you feel baby is tired but not when they are over tired so don't miss your 'window'.

The trick is patience and persistence...there is a way to have babies/ young children sleeping when you want them to without having to endure screaming and crying to achieve this. You have to start as you mean to go on though. That way you dont fall into having a 3 year old still waking several times in the night.

TrinityRhinosDhWonHerAnIPOD · 27/01/2008 11:57

sorry catkin
I presumed because there was never any time that I would put mine in a cot and they would just grumble
its full on screaming till they cough pretty much 30 secs in

Original poster

Stefka · 27/01/2008 11:59

I am a bit confused to be honest. On the one hand I keep reading that it's early days and I should just relax for now but on the other hand I am reading that I am getting him into bad habits and that it is easier to get him into good ones now while he is still young. I try to put him down awake for day time naps but he still cries and I end up just giving in and boobing him out.

OP posts:

kiskidee · 27/01/2008 12:03

then evaluate the reputations of those who are telling you that you are teaching bad habits vs the reps of those who are telling you to relax.

ime, those who are telling you about bad habits are also the same one who don't really know how bf works.

ConnieDescending · 27/01/2008 12:09

tbh I don't think 14weeks is early days in terms of sleep - its right now that you should be setting healthy sleep habits.....

I also don't think bf has got anything to do with sleeping either so try not to confuse the issues.

There is no such thing as a bad sleeper imo

verylittlecarrot · 27/01/2008 12:14

Connie!

I respectfully disagree!

ConnieDescending · 27/01/2008 12:18

ok!

but I have 4 children all who are all good sleepers - fluke? coincidence? good luck? nope - its setting healthy sleep habits from an early age.

Flip

1 2 3 4