SPLIT NIGHTS! Anyone solved this pure hell?

[cookiesandcream24]

13 months old. Been going on for months on and off.

Up for 3 hours (almost to the minute every time) until she's ready to go back to sleep again. Usually after midnight.

I have been putting up with this for months and feel like I have tried everything possible nothing is working to change it.

Has anyone experienced this and found ANYTHING that works to stop this huge awake window in the night

@cookiesandcream24 hope you’ve managed to have a nice holiday despite the sleep deprivation, although as you say, it’s not really a holiday 🙈
We’ve continued with a mixed bag including taking forever to go to sleep. And DD now has a bad cold so that is obviously impacting sleep. I can’t wait for the clock change this weekend 🙄🙄 x

Just thought I’d check back in. So surprisingly we’ve had two weeks or so now of decent nights. No split nights at all. I’ve restricted her naps a lot during the day. Only half an hour or 45 mins in the morning depending on if age was up at 6/ 6:30 or 7 ( still variable) then 1 hour 15 mins at about 1pm. Bed at 7:30. She seems pretty fine with this and has even cut a molar at the back without me noticing.

I personally wouldn't alter her daytime naps. It sounds like she needs these as she has plenty of stimulation through the day and will drop to one when she is ready.

My son was the worst sleeper until he was 10months old and I couldn't take anymore. I was referred to a sleep clinic and he now is the best sleeper. Routine is key! My son is now 15 months and sleeps 12 hours a night plus 2 day sleeps.

Could it be that she wakes at the end of her sleep cycle and needs reassurance that your there? After you go to her she maybe wants your attention and enjoys having you to herself in the night. What would happen if you go to her, offer her a drink of water and lay her back down and tell her it's bedtime and keep saying it's bedtime and have no other interaction.
Maybe she is so used to having a 3 hour break in the night it's become part of her routine so you need to change it.
Hope things change for you soon OP

Thought I'd check in see how you all are...just in the middle of one of those bloody nights 😩 although this has been the least of my worries lately. My LO has been unwell with one thing or another for ages now. Suffering with hand foot and mouth at the moment, so sleep is just doubly bad.

@cookiesandcream24 I deliberately waited to reply as I knew we’d be back to join you on a split night- and here we are.
We’ve had a lot of random days/nights. A few sleep throughs with 5am wake ups, which I think was technically a split night as she fell back asleep at 7 one morning after we gave her toys in the cot. She had a short nap at nursery one day & slept through that night, the following 2 days she refused a nap & was a complete nightmare going to bed, but again slept through. No nursery today, 90 min nap, and currently awake for the last 2hrs. Screamed until I went in, sat on me singing & chatting the whole time. Have just left her & she’s cried/moaned for very short periods so I’m hoping she’ll sleep soon. She has a cough/cold too but that’s been for a while. Hope you’re asleep at the moment!! & hope you’re LO is better soon x

@LillyMac500 you had the same thought as me posting in the middle of the night!

So how long did it go on in the end??

How many times a week does she do it?No pattern I guess.

I still find it very weird the whole thing. My LO hasn't done it as much lately but as she's been poorly on and off so long I haven't really been able to distinguish to be honest!

I was trying to think how long this has been going on and it started before she turned one and now she's 16 months 😩

When will it end!!! 🤯

Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one. Your DD sounds exactly like mine. She's nearly 2 and still does it sometimes although now it's more morphed into refusing to go to sleep until 10 at night 🤪 if she goes down earlier she's more likely to do a split night now, although that didn't used to be the cause. There was no rhyme or reason to it. I am hoping she'll grow out of it eventually...

@cookiesandcream24 it was about 3/330 she went back to sleep, and that was from just before 1 🙄
I sincerely hope your LO is just going through a slightly long phase that comes to an end soon - my DD started around her 1st birthday too. She turned 2 last week 😭
I checked my wee log (force of habit still keeping note!), and the last 15 nights we’ve actually only had 2 split nights.
She had a 2 hour nap today and asleep for about 8, so I’ll see how that impacts. If she has a split night then I think I’ll need to reduce the nap. I love nap time 🤣 I’ll cry for days if she drops the nap 🙈
@ratussbaguss I like my free time in the evenings, I don’t think I could manage a 10pm bedtime. Although I also don’t do well with split nights or early rises!!
Hoping we all have a good night tonight 🙏🏻

I should add, although we’ve only had 2 split nights over the last 2 weeks, it’s still not plain sailing. We’ve had night wakes, some for a few mins, some for 10/20 - enough to disturb my sleep - a few 5am(ish) starts and a couple of bedtime meltdowns…
Although I hate the saying, I’m currently repeating “this too shall pass”…. Lucky my DD is cute 🤣

The cuteness is about the only thing that gets me through too! Like you even if not a split night there's always some waking, even if bed sharing 🙄 unlike my DS who has slept through like a champ since 1.

Still here, living the dream that is ling conversations with a 2yr old about why she needs to go back to sleep 😭😭😭 @cookiesandcream24 how’s it going for you?

Oh god op, solidarity to you.

It's utterly shit the night wakings and then you have to be on the go like a fucking maniac all day. I really feel your pain.

All I can suggest is, sleep when she sleeps. Which is not what you really want to hear.

Just coming on to say All babies/toddlers are different in regards to naps. Mine was still having two naps at that age, 09:30-10:30 and 14:00-1500 or thereabouts. He is 2.5 now and still have 90 mins at lunchtime. So it might not be naps that are the issue but you could try bringing the later one earlier. There's no way my one would have lasted until lunchtime at that age without a nap. Hope you figure it out

Ugh last night was up 11 until 2.30 and now feel like crap!!! I can’t see any rhyme or reason to it and it’s soul destroying !!!

@Hyppogriff same here, we were 1230-330 and awake at 7. It’s very soul destroying and literally nothing we do makes a difference. We’ve had this going for over a year now, since DD turned 1 😭

@LillyMac500 sympathies !!!! Hoping maybe Christmas with family may break the cycle but think that is just wishful thinking !!! Here’s to a better night everyone!!

@LillyMac500 arghhh been trying to reply so many times. We've been away seeing in laws in Denmark for Christmas. Sleep was hell ish 😩

Sorry you're still up against this too. I will reply properly when I have a little more time. I'm at my wits end with it, we need a solution now don't we 😣

What does her day time routine look like now OP?

@sleepnightnanny so wake up time can bath massively depending on the night and also if I choose to wake her up.

Nap is usually 11.30-1.30. I wake her after 2 hours otherwise any longer and she's bounding about until gone 9pm.

Bath, books, milk and usually asleep by 8pm.

She is 18 months old. Please if anyone can shine any light or tell any area I may be going wrong I'm up for any kind of suggestions?

She can fall asleep by herself so this isn't the problem.

So @LillyMac500 I lost my mind with it all a few weeks back after a week straight of split nights. So back to the drawing board to try the one thing I'd not attempted yet due to being so tired. I set an alarm for 6.15 to wake her every morning. Rather than letting her sleep in until sometimes 7.30 after a bad night. This worked for a week straight she slept through 😱

Thought I'd cracked it but it starting sliding as I was so tired I found it hard to get up every day at that time. My husband works away and spent 2.5 weeks of December out the country. I was on my knees with everything.

So anyway I think there is something in that I need to try it again and stick to it. Have you tried this @LillyMac500??

vary that was meant to say, not bath 🙄

@LillyMac500 oh and don't get me started on ohhh it's just a phase and this too shall pass 🙄🙄🙄

I've stopped telling people about all this as the responses wind me up so much.

Long fucking phase for 9 months 🤨

I am a sleep consultant and if you were working with me, I'd recommend waking her at 7am each day then pushing out the nap until nearer 1pm.

I'd do this by stretching her 15 mins each day until you have her sleeping from 1pm-3pm

Then an earlier bedtime, starting bedtime routine at 6:30, asleep by 7.

Try this routine for a week solid if still no change, I would try the 'wake to sleep' technique which involves going to her 30 mins before she normally wakes in the night and gently rousing her to reset her sleep cycle. For a deep sleeper this might mean lifting her and placing her back down, for a light sleeper, sometimes even just opening and closing door is enough to rouse them.

Consistent bedtime routine, good exercise after dinner whether it's a walk or a high energy game then wind down for bedtime routine.

Also the usual good sleep environment, dark room (landing light off if door open) good temperature white noise is great if you haven't tried it.

@sleepnightnanny thank you that's really helpful. I will certainly give that a try once all the festivities are finished. But I must admit I will find it very hard to get her towards 1pm for nap. Even getting her to 11.30 is a battle. If I dare go anywhere in the car around 10 onwards she's asleep.

But I am totally up for experimenting with anything right now. Something has got to shift as this is so awful for the whole family right now.

I have read pretty much the whole of the internet has to offer on split nights. It's so frustrating.

We do all the latter already, dark room, white noise etc. Been doing the same routine since she was tiny.

Thanks again, I will be getting this on the agenda next week!

@sleepnightnanny also you probably just saved me £250 so thank you.

I had every intention of contacting a professional in January. Very kind of you to share your knowledge. I'm sure you know how all consuming these issues become x

@cookiesandcream24 sorry to hear you’re still in the same boat. As the saying goes Misery likes company, so here I am 🙋‍♀️ It’s almost funny, but not really.
I generally try and get her up at the same time every day (7/715) but the mornings when she’s had a split night it’s so hard to get up. One morning a few weeks ago when she was particularly bad (4hrs awake!!) we all slept in til 840, and it was a work/nursery day.
If we get a decent night, we still have either a very early wake up (445 one day last week!) or a fight at bedtime (tonight- tried putting her down at 715 and she fought it until 850!)
She’s actually fab at the moment otherwise, putting lots of sentences together and generally being adorable, apart from bed time/in the night/early morning.
I did actually pay for a sleep consultant a few months ago, and her main steer was around wake times, which generally is what we look at & to be fair does have an impact. But, she didn’t solve the split nights, nor give decent detail about how to try and deal with different scenarios.
@sleepnightnanny this looks like good advice, however I know if my LO was asleep til 3, she absolutely would not be back asleep 4hrs later. Also, external factors such as nursery impact for us - their routine is nap around 1130/12, which does tend to work. If my LO is awake at 6/630 or even 7, not being asleep for her nap til 1 would definitely result in her being overtired and waking in the night. Christmas day was an example of this - because of visiting family, she didn’t get her nap until 7hrs after getting up. Slept like a champ for her nap, but then that night, which I predicted to my husband, was awake from 345-530.
Sorry, I know you were giving advice to OP, just thought I’d mention my similar situation (DD turned 2 last month - split nights for over a year)
@cookiesandcream24 fingers crossed 2022 brings something different!!