SPLIT NIGHTS! Anyone solved this pure hell?

[cookiesandcream24]

13 months old. Been going on for months on and off.

Up for 3 hours (almost to the minute every time) until she's ready to go back to sleep again. Usually after midnight.

I have been putting up with this for months and feel like I have tried everything possible nothing is working to change it.

Has anyone experienced this and found ANYTHING that works to stop this huge awake window in the night

You could look at giving a small catnap at 9 if she can't wait until 1. I'd just slowly push it out towards one but it you can even get to 12:30. The idea is to shorten the bridge from nap wake up to bedtime.

@sleepnightnanny yeh 12.30 might be the time for us. Realised I have to do the school run so she'd need to be awake by 2.30 latest.

Same again for us last night, awake 1-3.30. So bored of this.

@LillyMac500 god yes I know what you mean, some days I can laugh about it and others I'm in total despair. Sleep deprivation is the worst.

Also any changes really take about a week to see results so give it a good go

@LillyMac500 at least you're getting a few nice moments with your DD though. It keeps you going through the hard bits doesn't it. Lovely she's talking as well! I'm looking forward to more of that soon.

They are designed to be super cute these babies to pull us through the shitty phases they all go through

I know, it is soul destroying but it is fixable. I've just worked with a family having the same problem. The baby was already in a good routine so it was just small little tweaks needed but eventually after a month we got results. That was from tweaking the naps slightly, earlier bedtime and just consistently not taking baby out of cot during the wake up. So in supporting her if upset but back down into the cot.

Have you tried the wake to sleep technique? Sorry you may have mentioned but I've commented on a few threads

Not tried to the wake to sleep yet but have read about it in many places.

Chatted it all through with my husband today and I think were going to start with this as it's an easy thing to start doing. See if it gets us anywhere. If not then I will start pushing the nap out a bit later like you say. I would dread not taking her out of the cot though. Sometimes her awake time can go on for 3.5 hours. We've even started going downstairs on nights like that (I know that's prob the worst thing you could possibly do!) but I've had to do it for my own sanity. I can't possibly keep her in the bedroom for that long trying to soothe her.

I find it madness how these tiny little things can make such a huge difference. Sensitive little souls aren't they.

@cookiesandcream24

Not tried to the wake to sleep yet but have read about it in many places.

Chatted it all through with my husband today and I think were going to start with this as it's an easy thing to start doing. See if it gets us anywhere. If not then I will start pushing the nap out a bit later like you say. I would dread not taking her out of the cot though. Sometimes her awake time can go on for 3.5 hours. We've even started going downstairs on nights like that (I know that's prob the worst thing you could possibly do!) but I've had to do it for my own sanity. I can't possibly keep her in the bedroom for that long trying to soothe her.

I find it madness how these tiny little things can make such a huge difference. Sensitive little souls aren't they.

My five month old had just started waking up at night as well. He will go to sleep at 8pm, wake up at 1am and can easily stay up until 5 or 6am. He has just drifted off to sleep now after being up since 3am. Not sure how DP and I will cope next week when I'm back at work. Honestly I am at my wits end. He is now going to spend most of the day sleeping. I am going to actively wake him up during the day and hope that works to improve his sleep at night.

@cookiesandcream24 hope you had a better day/night than us. I was working yesterday so DD was with grandparents and decided she did not want a nap! Very unlike her, and as expected, was awake 145-415. Exhausted & frustrated. Hoping she doesn’t pull the same trick at grandparents today 😭
I tried the wake to sleep method a while ago and it worked for a short period. Impossible to do now as her wake up times are so sporadic!

@LillyMac500 oh my gosh that is a long one!! And you poor thing having to survive at work the next day. It's so bloody tiring.
And no nap omg!!??!

How was last night?

I've lost my shit with the whole thing so I've been sleeping in the spare room to get some kip. My husband is gojng to take the nights whilst he's off work.

It's like a never ending treadmill right now

Morning @cookiesandcream24 we had another rubbish night. I’m back to the soul destroyed stage 😭 Woke up at 1 for 5-10min, then 245-4ish, but cried for a few mins at 5 then 6, so an altogether sh!t night and difficult to get up for work/nursery. She had a 45 min nap yesterday but we got her to bed a little earlier and hoped that would help, but evidently not.
I forgot (I don’t know how), I self referred to Sleep Scotland and al actually due to get a call from them in January (over 12 weeks wait), so hopefully something from them helps. It’s free and I think they work with you for a couple of weeks. That’s what I need to hold on to now 😭 Can’t believe I’m going into another new year in the exact same position!! I’m away for a very very large coffee x

@LillyMac500 ohhhh I so know how you feel right now. It's not so much the being tired I find (well that obviously doesn't help!) it's the fact that you know it's going to happen night after night. Totally relentless.

Sounds like you had a particularly bad night though. That must have been down to the short nap she had don't you think?

Also hard when you're not there to control the whole thing.

Ah sounds amazing with the sleep service you have in Scotland. Really hope it's shorter than 12 weeks. They might have some good advice for you.

All I can suggest for you today is coffee (and plenty of biscuits!) and get to bed as early as you possibly can. Xx

@cookiesandcream24 it’s been over 12 weeks, that’s why I’m hoping/assuming it’ll be January 😭
I think the short nap yesterday after the no nap the day before has all impacted. She’ll be with me all day tomorrow so she should hopefully have a good nap and maybe better night sleep so we can have a wee midnight drink. Although we’ll be in bed by 1205
I’ve got family round this afternoon so that’ll probably result in a hyper DD going to bed - roll on January for some more normality and less chocolate (for DD, not me!)

Yeh I would say it was def a result of poor naps for those two days.

Really hope you have a better night tonight. No idea what we're in for tonight here. She had to take a cat nap at 9 this morning due to early wake up so she's actually had two naps 😩

I will absolutely not be staying up until midnight. Probably have one too many proseccos and be asleep by 9 as usual 😃

Happy new year. Thank god for this thread, I’ve “found my people”.

I’ve been suicidal and had severe postnatal depression due to my DS’s sleep that I posted about on a thread about 9 months ago and got wonderful support from Mumsnetters. Since then, my son’s sleep gently improved by itself and we had got to the point where he was sleeping 4 hours ish, waking for 2 hours to the minute and then going back to sleep for 5hours ish - horrific but bearable.

For the last two weeks my son has been sleeping for two hours, waking for FIVE HOURS MINIMUM, and then sleeping another two hours until morning. I work full time and am absolutely broken, my relationship with my husband is in tatters as we are zombies and have hissed arguments in the night about how to deal with it. Has anyone had anything similar? I don’t know how my son is actually functioning in the day on so little sleep.

He used to wake 6.30/7
Nap 2 hours 12.30-2.30
Bed for 8
One wake in the night

Now it’s
Wake 6/6.30
Napping from 11.30 as so exhausted for 2 hours (would probably sleep longer if I let him - should I let him?)
Bedtime shifted earlier to 7.30 (won’t go down any earlier)
Waking 10ish and awake until 4am
Awake for day at 6/6.30

HELPPPPPPPP. Here’s to a year of sleep in 2022!!!!

@PocketRocket12 welcome to the thread

Sorry to hear you're having a really hard battle with sleep as well. 5 hours awake time oh my gosh that really is awful, I feel for you so much. When we get to 3.5 I'm a quivering mess so I can't even imagine how you feel. Also holding down a full time job. Gosh totally super human you are. I know how utterly terrible it makes you feel. And the snappy whispering arguments in the night are also so annoying. Me and my husband are the same. It gets you no where apart from a very frosty atmosphere 🙁

How old is your DS? Also how long has it been going on?

I've found some real comfort sharing stories on this thread. It makes you feel so much less alone, especially in the depths of the night. Please feel free to post as much as you like/need

Thank you @cookiesandcream24! So nice to share the pain, so to speak.

He’s 16 months, he’s had split nights for about four months but this latest very extreme trend has been for two weeks.

Some have recommended earlier bedtime, some have said later to try and reset his clock. WHO KNOWS?!! 😂

Ugh sounds awful @PocketRocket12 . How old is your son?

Sorry @PocketRocket12 cross post.

I would allow him to sleep longer while you are sorting it out. I'd agree with an earlier bedtime but in this case I would very slowly bring it forward, 5-10 minutes a night. You are trying to balance his body clock. I sudden jump to 6:30 won't work. If you do it slowly, his body clock will adjust with him. I'd let him sleep until 2-2:30 while he's on catch up and getting to an earlier bedtime then slowly readjust the nap to either a small catnap in morning and larger midday nap or just one midday nap starting earlier but again pushing it out by 5-10 mins until you get it nearer to 12:30-1

Thank you @sleepnightnanny. Today he was in a bit of a state, probably hugely overtired, and refused his nap until 1pm and then woke after 20 mins. Not sure what to do from here, his naps have always been so solid and reliable snd our routine really set so I just feel all over the place with the exhaustion and lack of predictability.

@PocketRocket12 would he sleep better in buggy while walking?

If he wakes early from nap and not settling back with shushing from you, I would quickly throw him in buggy and bring him for a walk with his comfort bits like soother teddy etc if he has them. Just to get him that sleep and get his body clock back to rhythm. Do this for a few days (not always possible I know) have buggy ready. This will get his clock back into the swing of his routine and then hopefully he will just start to nap better once in the rhythm

That’s the thing, he’s always slept in his cot and only in his cot. Settled himself to sleep. He won’t sleep in the buggy but will occasionally sleep in the car if he’s absolutely exhausted.

He’s always napped beautifully and reliably.

He had a run of illness over the last 6 weeks, a chest infection and now a cold which despite medication and snuffle babe etc I suspect could still be affecting his breathing and comfort in the night. Desperate to find reasons 😂 that means it may pass soon.

He also has stopped self settling and needs rocking to sleep which has never happened before.

Hoping we figure out these sleep riddles, the one thing I’ve found over the last 16 months is just when you think you can’t go on any more it all changes again! Lucky he’s so gorgeous x

@PocketRocket12 sorry to hear you are in the same boat. It’s not a nice place to be, and I can’t really give advice as my DD is 26 months and and has been like this for over a year. And wasn’t a great sleeper before that, keep wondering when my time will be that O can say “yeah, she consistently sleeps 11-12hrs” 😭😭😭
@cookiesandcream24 how are you? We had 2 good nights, which is almost as much as we can expect, then last night was a nightmare going to bed, so I knew she’d wake - and she didn’t prove me wrong. 114-425. Couldn’t face getting up at 7, so just let her sleep til 8. I’m at a loss - she had a 2hr nap and had a good previous 2 nights, so it doesn’t make sense. Other days she has 2hrs or slightly more, and will sleep through. Or has less and will sleep through. Wits end does not cover it. Happy 2022!

The afternoon nap is too later , combine the two naps and make them one at 12-2 then start to reduce that .

Anyone fixed this ?!!! Argh this child !! She’s 16 months and has restarted with her 2 hour wakings . At the moment it’s 4-6 awake and usually another couple of shorter wakes . Over Christmas she had about a week with zero wales thought it had passed but it’s driving me mad !!

How does everyone get them back down? I basically alternate between holding her over my shoulder and laying her on the floor until she’s completely dead asleep (every time I put her on her cot she screams and screams and screams and she shares with her 3 year old brother at the moment so can’t leave her to scream - which sometimes I want to argh!!)

Joining in solidarity! Ds2 is 18 months and keeps waking 2-4. Always around 2am, always bang on 2 hours, always awake and happy and wanting to play.

We have worked out that he’s a 10 hour night sleeper no matter what, so his sleep through a are always 8-6 and his split nights he always seems to go 8-2. Then another 4 hours, to the minute, once he falls back to sleep.

He was going to bed at 7 but the 5am wakes were also killing me!

Ds1 was never like this, even now at 5 he gets 11 hours minimum so this is all new to me!