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Original poster

SPLIT NIGHTS! Anyone solved this pure hell?

170 replies

cookiesandcream24 · 17/08/2021 08:43

13 months old. Been going on for months on and off.

Up for 3 hours (almost to the minute every time) until she's ready to go back to sleep again. Usually after midnight.

I have been putting up with this for months and feel like I have tried everything possible nothing is working to change it.

Has anyone experienced this and found ANYTHING that works to stop this huge awake window in the night Confused

OP posts:
LillyMac500 · 30/09/2021 00:55

So the falling asleep quickly didn’t turn out to be a good sign, just a different battle.
Been awake since 1130. I am so tired.

Itsbeen84yearss · 30/09/2021 11:53

I took mine to the gp this morning in desperation. Turns out she has an ear infection. Not sure how long she’s been struggling as had no temp and wasn’t pulling her ear. Now to get some antibiotics down her…

Imatwinmum · 30/09/2021 12:01

I remember my eldest did this for months! I think it was she was picking up all the nursery illnesses and it was when she was getting ill. Who knows though. I think it stopped by about 18 months.

You could try some calpol? It sucks when they can’t communicate. DD always seemed happy enough but then a few days later she would come down with a cold so I think perhaps she was feeling unwell and couldn’t get back to sleep.

I have twins now and I’m so dreading this happening again.

Itsbeen84yearss · 30/09/2021 12:53

@Imatwinmum

I remember my eldest did this for months! I think it was she was picking up all the nursery illnesses and it was when she was getting ill. Who knows though. I think it stopped by about 18 months.

You could try some calpol? It sucks when they can’t communicate. DD always seemed happy enough but then a few days later she would come down with a cold so I think perhaps she was feeling unwell and couldn’t get back to sleep.

I have twins now and I’m so dreading this happening again.

I think this is true. My first was the same. Constantly picking up bugs from nursery. Think she’d had just about everything by the time she was 18 months
Original poster
cookiesandcream24 · 30/09/2021 14:33

@LillyMac500 oh god, how did the rest of your night go? What time did she go off in the end?

I think it's a good idea keeping a note and trying to find a pattern. I think I might try this! It's driving me bonkers. Luckily I don't have to be at work but it's still totally ruining my days and the rest of the family. Last night it started at 0100 and went on until 0330. I spent nearly an hour at her cot rocking and singing. Did nothing as per usual so in with me, she spent the rest of the time rolling around pulling my hair etc until getting tired enough to sleep at 3.30.

It's all such a mystery. We're on a one nap day today so going to see how that effects the night.

@LillyMac500 how much sleep in the day time does your DD get?

@Itsbeen84yearss did your little one show any other signs of being unwell with the ear infection? I've had similar thoughts lately as my DD is so miserable in the day.

OP posts:
LillyMac500 · 01/10/2021 12:50

@cookiesandcream24 she was awake til about 145 then woke again at 3 for around 20mins, then up for the day at 630! She only napped half an hour at nursery but went to bed ok last night. Other than DH nipping in at 2 with a dummy (she’d knocked them all out the cot), she slept right through to 645. We’ve not had 2 good nights in a row for a couple of weeks so I imagine tonight won’t be great.
Nursery naps aren’t great, anything between 25 mins and 1hour 15, but long ones are a rareity. At home she’ll sleep for 1hr30-2hrs 30 during the day - usually as she has sleep to catch up on!
I may try my GP if things don’t improve, my HV is completely useless!!

Itsbeen84yearss · 01/10/2021 13:57

No not really. She’s been a bit congested with a cold but she wasn’t pulling her ear and she hadn’t had a temp. It’s always worth getting checked out. It’s so hard to know with babies

LillyMac500 · 07/10/2021 08:20

@cookiesandcream24 @Itsbeen84yearss how are we all getting on? We had 3-4 decent nights, then back to nursery on Tuesday where DD has had 30 min naps and has therefore had two long split nights 😭

Original poster
cookiesandcream24 · 07/10/2021 08:45

@LillyMac500 it sounds so similar to us your pattern! We've had I think three sleep throughs in the last week but also two horrendous split nights. One of them she was awake 11-2.30 Shock

It's got to be to do with the daytime napping hasnt it. I've noticed though if she does one nap and has a decent one like two hours or more then put her to bed a little later then I think it allows that sleep pressure to build up then no split night. This is my current theory anyway! Ask me again next week and I'm sure it'll be different Grin

So she wakes around 2.30 or I wake her! Then we start bedtime at 8 she's asleep by 830. Ive noticed the nights I've put her to bed earlier she does a split night.

Nursery can be a killer can't it for ruining your routine. Also mine has had a cough from nursery for three weeks now so that's not helped her nights at all.

OP posts:
Flickeringgreenlight · 07/10/2021 08:53

OP, just came on to say I sympathise with you. I noticed your LO has almost the same sleep schedule my DS had at that age and our bedtime was 8.30pm-9pm, up for the day around 7.30am in the morning. I noticed in your latest post you said you tried a later bed time yourself and it seemed to have worked, I did truly think your LO was waking as a result of an early bedtime, not necessarily the fact she has two naps so I'm glad you tried this :) My DS didn't drop the 2 naps until around 17 months, and when he did, bedtime naturally moved forward to about 7.30pm-8pm. Hope you are doing ok and hope LO is feeling better soon xx

LillyMac500 · 07/10/2021 09:43

@cookiesandcream24 we were similar on Tuesday night - 1045-215am. Last night was 240-5am 😩 Our wakes seems to be getting longer, it used to always be 2 hours, now it’s more like 3+ Last night, just as I thought she was tiring out (I was lying on her floor), she stood up and started bouncing on the bed! Hubby was sent in at that point.

Nursery definitely impacts, to the point I’m considering moving her to another one. We’re away next week at my parents, so I’ll see how a good week of naps impacts. We were advised by the sleep consultant we had (not worth the money), that if DD is an hour or more short on her nap, early bed takes priority - like 6/630pm We do try that but it’s difficult to get dinner, bath and bed quickly after nursery pick up!

We’ve done later bed times and it hasn’t worked. A lot of the time it takes DD a while to fall asleep, so my worry is always that she’ll be awake much later if we put her to bed earlier, and it’ll just reinforce the split night.
That was the other thing the consultant said - ensure wake times are age appropriate, which for DD is between 4 and 6hours. Getting her in bed & asleep within 6 hours on nursery days is impossible when she’s done a 30 min nap 😭 x

Bancha · 07/10/2021 09:52

I haven’t RTFT but my DD is a horror for doing this. For us it is absolutely linked to too much daytime sleep. She dropped to one nap at 10 months! She would happily nap all day long if I let her and be awake for 2-3 hours at night. However, that really doesn’t work for me/anyone! I have found if I limit daytime sleep she tends to sleep through. At the moment (19m) she has around 90 minutes and sleeps 11-12 hours straight through, unless she’s really unwell etc.

Bancha · 07/10/2021 09:54

We also had success with sending only DH in at nighttime, unless he finds she’s unwell and then I go in too. She is very clingy to me so gets upset if I go in and then leave the room again, whereas she is much more accepting of him leaving once he’s checked on her, and she will go back to sleep if she wakes (though this is really rare now unless she’s ill, like I say).

I honestly feel so much for you. It’s absolutely horrific!

LillyMac500 · 07/10/2021 10:04

Thanks @Bancha it is absolutely horrific 😭
We’ve generally found the opposite and it’s been too little sleep in the day that has impacted our little one. If she has 90 mins or so she’s generally likely to be ok in the night.
Similar here too with DH, she’s more accepting of him leaving than me 🤣 But it happens so often to us and for such long periods it’s not fair for him to do it all the time. We’ll get there - eventually. Hopefully!

Itsbeen84yearss · 07/10/2021 10:56

We had a shocking night on Tuesday. She was up at 12 for twenty minutes but then up again at 2:45 until 5:35 ( yes I was clock watching). I ended up pulling a muscle in my back with all the bending over the cot and couldn’t move for most of yesterday. Had to get my mum who lives two hours away to come up. One of the mums suggested trying dropping to one longish midday nap so I’m going to try that because often when we have the split nights she does seem incredibly awake and refreshed

Itsbeen84yearss · 07/10/2021 11:06

My plan for today is I’ve let her have 30 mins at 9 am because she was up at 5:30 for the day. Then I’m going to put her down at 12:30 /1pm hopefully she’ll nap for an hour and a half. Bed at 7-7:30. She tends to be ok to do a longer stretch in the afternoon / evening because her brother and sister are about and she likes playing with them

heywassuphello · 08/10/2021 18:32

Split nights are commonly misconceived for being due to under tiredness but are usually due to over tiredness. They treat the first bout of sleep as a nap. Follow twinningituk on Instagram, she had a useful highlight about it.

Wbeezer · 08/10/2021 18:43

I'm getting some tips for my split sleeping problem, might get DH to wake me up with a hug & kiss before my usual 4am slot and see if it works

LillyMac500 · 09/10/2021 07:51

@Itsbeen84yearss how did you get on? We’ve amazingly had 2 sleep throughs in a row! I think Thursday night she was absolutely exhausted from 3 days at nursery with 30 min naps along with 2 split nighta. Yesterday she had a 2 hour nap and was then asleep by 715 and woke at 7!! Unheard of in this house so I’m not holding my breathe…. X

Franca123 · 09/10/2021 10:40

Reduce the morning nap to 30mins max with a view to stopping it altogether if needed. The lunchtime nap should be longer. 1.5 to 2 hours. This might help? Certainly the first thing I would try.

Itsbeen84yearss · 11/10/2021 13:37

@LillyMac500 so I’ve been doing the new plan for about a week. Half an hour nap in the morning and then an hour and half after lunch. She has been going to bed at7:30 and going through until 5:30 ish which is a lot better than the split night and then still getting up at the crack of dawn.
It is hard going though as she seems v tired between 5pm and bedtime and I feel really guilty

Franca123 · 11/10/2021 13:43

I think 7.30pm is very late bedtime? My two and a half year old is only just able to make make that late now. Maybe try 6.30 or 7pm?

Itsbeen84yearss · 11/10/2021 14:22

I think it’s late for her too but I’ve done earlier and she wakes up at some point in the middle of the night and we have three hours of messing about.

LillyMac500 · 21/10/2021 16:51

@cookiesandcream24 @Itsbeen84yearss how are you getting on? We’re just back from a week away with family and it was a mixed bag, and no rhyme/reason. We had long naps and sleep throughs, and long naps and split nights! Yesterday due to travel, we had a short late nap (2-230), and DD was asleep before 7pm. But then woke from 1130-130 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
cookiesandcream24 · 22/10/2021 20:13

@LillyMac500 ah I was thinking of you today after a long bloody split night last night. Hope you had a nice time away despite the ups and downs of this weirdness! We're also away at the moment in Spain. Lovely with the weather but bloody hell it's not a break is it haha! We had good nights up until last night went on until 0400, so been broken all day today. Like you no rhyme or reason either. It's so random isn't it I simply can't find a pattern at all. I just think it's got to be a phase/age thing hasnt it. Surely in a few months it'll be a thing of the past. So bored of it now 😩

OP posts:
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