SPLIT NIGHTS! Anyone solved this pure hell?

[cookiesandcream24]

13 months old. Been going on for months on and off.

Up for 3 hours (almost to the minute every time) until she's ready to go back to sleep again. Usually after midnight.

I have been putting up with this for months and feel like I have tried everything possible nothing is working to change it.

Has anyone experienced this and found ANYTHING that works to stop this huge awake window in the night

@LillyMac500 ahhh I can't believe you had that terrible night after having good naps etc. I'm really starting to think there is no cause and that it is just random. When you think you have nailed everything then it still produces a terrible night. So odd.

So my husband has been taking the nights this week before he goes back to work. They've actually been ok. 4 sleep through last out of 5. Which is great for her! And him 😂

One thing we have done a lot more of this week is outdoor time. Not taking the buggy for walks and making sure she uses her legs plenty. You could experiment with this? But again probably me clutching at straws thinking I've found something when I know she'll be back to it tonight or tomorrow 🙄

It's been nice not feeling the anxiety over the night times. Not looking forward to getting back to it 😬

How was last night??

@Hyppogriff @QforCucumber welcome. Not a club you want to be part of, but we can try and keep each other sane!
I tend to sit in the room quietly with DD, willing her to go back to sleep. If we leave her, she’ll just keep crying & we’ve learnt it’s just pointless. The odd time she might fall back asleep in 10-20 mins, but that’s a rarity. If she’s awake, it’s anything between 1.5hrs and 3.5 😭
Q - my DD was averaging about 10hours at one point, but she will push it out to 10.5/11hrs at times. Not sure what you’ve tried, but age appropriate wake times/naps has helped us a little, although it really is hit & miss.
@cookiesandcream24 we had a good night last night, 11hrs! Random though as nap was muvh later than usual (due to the 8am start!) so I shortened it, and she also went yk bed no problems. I expect a rebellion tonight 🤣
We barely use DDs buggy now, we probably could do with more outside time and I agree it definitely helps, just the miserable weather that puts me off! Fingers crossed your little one had turned a corner, 4 out of 5 is excellent!

@Hyppogriff @QforCucumber yes welcome to this god awful thread 😂

Sorry we don't all share something a little nicer but at least we can share ideas and stories, it all helps!

@LillyMac500 ahhh so weird isn't it, when you get a good night after a day that's been all over the place. It is so very unpredictable it's a nightmare.

I'm feeling the pressure to get my DD outdoors lots now 😂😂 I took her out for two hours with her brother and cousins today, despite the mud and the rain. She had a great time. I didn't 😂

@LillyMac500 there’s not a lot we can try ref naps etc as he’s at full time nursery, it’s such a bloody minefield.

We have an ikea daybed in another room and I’ve started dragging the mattress out of there and into his room the nights he wakes, he will be quiet and chatter away to me while I doze on that which I find gets me through the nights better than actually getting up with him, he’s only been walking for around 8 weeks and comes out with new words every day so I’m hoping it’s developmental rather than a forever issue!

@QforCucumber I know what you mean about nursery- the days my wee one is in she naps too early, then it impacts bedtime etc. The consultant I had previously had said if the nap at nursery was an hour or more shorter than it should be, then early bed was the key. 6 or 630 - which I’ve never been able to achieve! It’s too rushed after pick up time. She does sleep a lot better at nursery now, but it took months, and it’s also too early for my liking as she’s then awake earlier and longer before bed 🤦‍♀️
We had a 1225-250 wake up last night 😭 After 3 good nights, which I think is the most we can hope for these days!

@LillyMac500 just thought I'd pop on to tell you we had a run of 7 good nights to then be ruined by a split last night 12.45-3.15 😭

Didn't want you to think I'd cracked it as I totally haven't 😂

At least we can say it is not every night that it happens?!

I'm still holding on to this exercise/fresh air thing though. Going to keep tabs on it and see if it's a thing or not!

We got a 2 hour nap at nursery yesterday and then a 7:30 - 6 sleep last night!

Then only 45 mins at nursery today so god knows what tonight will look like, he’s just fallen asleep now and I think I’m tempted to go to bed too hah!

@cookiesandcream24 7 nights is fab! I know say misery likes company, but hoping last night was just a wee blip and she’s back to no wake ups tonight.
@QforCucumber we had a 90 min nap yesterday but an early one, so I’m thinking that might have been last nights issue. Today we got a slightly later and longer nap, then out like a light at 7…. Fingers crossed 🤞

Just thought I'd check in see how you're all doing. Any changes or nice sleep throughs to report? 😊

@LillyMac500 did you hear from the sleep people you had a referral for?

Much the same for us here although the last few days been dealing with yet another cold with high temperature so nights have been pretty tiring, no splits but just awake a lot 😴

Hello @cookiesandcream24 and anyone else following! I was going to check in the other day but I was depressing myself with it all 🤣
Much the same here, we are having some split free nights, but those usually come with bedtime meltdowns or several shorter wake ups 🙄 To be fair, we’ve had a few good nights over the last couple of weeks, we just don’t get any more than 3 in a row.
We also had a sickness bug, starting with DD towards the end of last week. Night after we had a 5 hour wake in the night! That was horrendous as we were all feeling ill.
Also had a “cat nap” at nursery today, which fills me with dread for later tonight.
Not heard from the sleep people yet either, she’ll be in college at this rate…!

@LillyMac500

I'll give you three guesses why I'm replying at 00.15....I've lost my rag and come downstairs in the first 20 mins this time. My DD has an awful habit of pulling my hair and I'm so sick of this. As it goes on for the whole time when she's next to me in bed during a split 😣

Ahhhh sickness bug sounds the worst poor you, all of you! And omg a 5 hour one, that is absolutely brutal. Totally feel your pain as we've had a couple of those.

Ahh the three night thing is about the same for us on the whole it's so weird isn't it. It's like their body just can't sleep after a few nights of sleeping 😏

I wonder what that comment was below that got deleted by HQ 🧐 I wasn't quick enough to see it...did anyone else??

@cookiesandcream24 how long did it last? I’m with you on losing the rag, I’ve had mega mum guilt this week but my fuse is currently very short. It’s so frustrating.
The 5 hours was more torture for DH as I was ill that night. I’m blaming it at least partly on DD being unwell. Luckily for me on nights DH was ill, DD was actually ok.
My DD actually slept through after just having a cat nap at nursery yesterday, which is surprising. Last night was also night 3, so let’s see what tonight brings.

I didn’t see the post above either so I’m intrigued. Must’ve been deleted quickly 🤷‍♀️

What happens if you just leave her to it? DD has always gone through periods of being awake for a while in the night but is never upset, we can hear her chatting to her animals, telling stories etc and eventually she goes back to sleep. We found going in made absolutely no difference other than for her to be awake longer. After listening to it on and off for a year we finally just turned off the sound on the baby monitor. She’s awake, she’s happy, she goes back to sleep. We don’t need to know about it and certainly don’t need to kept awake by it. We have a sound monitor outside her door that triggers if she makes a loud noise (ie crying).

She's ok to start with. She tries so incredibly hard to get back to sleep. Then after half an hour or so of trying she just cries. I feel for her as she is so frustrated, she wants to be asleep her body just can't.

Same again last night, just over 3 hours of awake time. Felt like crying in the night when it started again. She's only been back to sleep since 5, I'm just about to wake her. Going to go back to waking her see if I can break this again

I remember the pain of this with my son. It probably lasted about 18 months in total, stopping when he was around 2.5 years old.
We had a routine, did all the good sleep advice, tried everything. Nothing helped I'm afraid. There would be a few nights a month where the wakings were very brief (under a hour!)
The only way we coped was to take it in turns being on duty, with the lucky patent getting to sleep through it all in the spare room. Happy days
Sorry I can't say anything that will help you, only that in my experience, it will end, eventually. In the meantime, do whatever you can to get through it - have a bap when you can, earlier nights (for you), meditation/yoga to help have some calm times through the day...
Good luck, I hope it ends soon

I had this - started putting her down much much later, say 10pm. It was miserable as she was knakered, but it sort of pushed her out of the split nights. Then after a week I brought bed time earlier by 15 mins each day til it got to 7.30. Good luck!!!

Thank you! It really helps to know it really is a thing for little ones. I seem to get lots of unsolicited advice on the whole thing it gets really quite frustrated. So have kind of stopped telling people now what's going on. I think it is a case of riding it out now until whenever it stops which could be ages away she's only 18 months 😩

@Newmum29

My 4 month only does 3 hours a day in naps. I’d cut at least the morning to an hour.

Your baby is not getting the sleep they need then. They should be having way more than this for them to develop optimally.

@DarlingDarwin that's actually a good idea. The nights where she's had a really late night for whatever reason she doesn't seem to do it. So maybe this is the answer for a bit. Hard having zero evening time though. But I think I'd prefer this over the 3 hour awake period in the night. Feel so low today, mixture of tiredness and just bloody fed up with it. It's totally ruining my enjoyment with her as I'm just knackered all the time and doing bare minimum

@ImSureISaidNo she only has one nap which I cut to 2 hours long

@cookiesandcream24

Our day roughly goes like this

Wake 6.30

Nap 1 9.30-11

Nap 2 2.30-3.30

Bedtime 7.30

If you look at these times shes awake for 3 hours between naps! Shes treating night time sleep as a nap essentially. I kept first day time nap short and I agree with one 2 hour nap but earlier , early lunch 11.30 then nap 12.00-2pm. Have a very different nap and bed time routine so its obvious that its bedtime.

[quote cookiesandcream24]@DarlingDarwin that's actually a good idea. The nights where she's had a really late night for whatever reason she doesn't seem to do it. So maybe this is the answer for a bit. Hard having zero evening time though. But I think I'd prefer this over the 3 hour awake period in the night. Feel so low today, mixture of tiredness and just bloody fed up with it. It's totally ruining my enjoyment with her as I'm just knackered all the time and doing bare minimum [/quote]
Of course you are, you’re exhausted. They’re hard to like when it feels like they’re just parasitically sapping you of literally everything you have 😂😂😂

I figured I’d sacrifice evenings for a week, and see how it went. I did put regular tv on, while she was around which I don’t normally, but just made it non violent 😂😂 I got a few different toys out too to try and help her to stay awake a bit longer. Xx

@TempleofZooom oh this is quite old now when I posted that. Started this thread a while ago, it's been going on just coming up to a year for us.

She's now on one nap and has been for some time. Which is usually 11.30-1.30. So she has a good long period of awake time until bed, which is usually 8pm

@DarlingDarwin you know what I think I'm gojng to try this, like you say do it for a week and see. If she goes to bed earlier like 7-7.30 then it's almost inevitable that she does a split around 11 so it is definitely a thing.

I might start with pushing it to 8.30 then increase by 30 mins each day. I have an older one too who goes to bed after 8 so I wouldn't actually matter. She could have a longer bath etc which she loves