How to start Self settling?

[rosieswain]

Help! I've made a right mess of DS sleep. He's 9months old now and still swaddled and fed to sleep. Wakes 1-2 hourly every night 😢 He's miserable, tired and I need to help teach him to sleep but where to start?
I've read Lucy Wolfe's stay and support approach and I like that idea. However, last night at bedtime I took him out of his swaddle and put him in a sleeping bag. But an hour later and lots of crying I had to put him back in swaddle bag as he was like a man possessed just thrashing around and knocking dummy out etc. I did get him to sleep by pinning his arms down but then he woke 10mins later and I thought what's the point in that anyway he might as well be swaddled? I see pics of babies in sleeping bags cuddled up to comforters on their sides/fronts etc looking really cosy, how do I get him to this point? Should I try and settle him on his front then arms won't be thrashing everywhere?? What does anyone suggest?!

I’m starting tomorrow night! Feeling so nervous and I don’t know why. It’s not because I’m not happy with the plan, I think it’s more that I’m worried it won’t work and I’ll be stuck with our terrible sleep habits for years on end! Must be more confident, have to have a positive mind set going in! Ooh good idea getting supplies. How strict are you being on not leaving the house? Is that just because you’re expecting to be so tired? I’m going to try and do as many naps in the cot as possible but I don’t want to go insane. We’re still on 3 naps a day and it feels a bit relentless!

Tonight bedtime was awful but I’ll not bother you with my woes when exciting times ahead for you two! I felt exactly the same, couldn’t believe it would work and then if not the horror of what options would be left! It just the unknown isn’t it. Are you or your partner doing the first bedtime/ night?

Oh that's a pity bedtime was bad...hope night went ok afterwards?
I'm going to stay home for as much of next week as possible. We have nothing on and I really just want to try crack the naps in the cot. She has never taken a nap in her cot and naps at home are usually in the pram or my bed and really short. So I'm going to try just focus and go for it! But in the book she says bout the 3rd nap being on the go so at least we can get out walking or car if things aren't going good. To be honest I'm looking forward to being at home. The only way I've been able to get a decent nap out of her has been the car cause sometimes even walking just doesn't do it for her. I'm so sick of driving around the countryside and having to drag my ds along as well,I'm lucky he's such a sweet patient little fella!
But obviously life goes on too and the wk after we have appointments and ds has a summer camp so will have to try work it all around her sleep!

So the first night is over 😊wasn't so bad. She took about an hr to settle so was asleep by 7.30,bit of crying but not too bad. Slept til 10.30 which was great cause I was able to go dwn and give her first feed as 4 hrs had passed since last one. She went straight back to sleep then. I slept in spare room and left dh to it. She woke bout 12.30 for bout an hr then only went back for 20 mins so I ended up giving 2nd feed a little early. Went back fine again which was amazing and slept til I think about 4.30 and stayed awake for over an hr again but did go back then til 6.40.
I did the naps this morn,first took 20 mins to settle second only 10 mins! Can't believe it as she's never napped in cot! Only problem is that she only managed 30 mins each time so is tired now and means we need to make up quite a bit before bedtime. So much as I don't want to I'm going to go driving,at least she should get a decent bit of sleep.
But overall it's good and feeling positive about it. Hoping the naps will begin to stretch out over the week. How did you get on corilee??

So we’re doing it and it’s going pretty well! I’m actually quite shocked. There was a fair bit of crying on the first night but it wasn’t too bad, and she ended up doing 7-7 with two wake ups for feeds and easy resettling. Then 2 naps in the cot yesterday - unbelievable yesterday! She needed a little more settling last night but again did really well and slept from 7-7.15. Now napping in the cot again! It really does seem to work. and I’ve had two decent nights sleep which is amazing!

We’re also finding that the cot naps are short - about 30 mins too so sounds like we’re having a very similar experience! so now need to work on lengthening those. I’m worried about getting too into the cot nap routine as would still like her to be able to nap on the go in the pram, so will probably still do some naps in the pram. I think Lucy says that’s ok! She also says not to worry too much about short naps to begin with as they may naturally lengthen but it is tricky as you don’t want them to be an overtired mess by bedtime - I think best thing is to do a pram or car nap or whatever you need to do!

Great to hear it’s going well for you both! And that it’s not been as bad as expected. Hope tonight is going well.

Naps quickly got longer for us, I forget but only a few days. Now pretty consistently 1.5hrs each, but only 30m when we’ve been out and about. Only problem is that we’re not getting great progress with the process of going down for naps, often takes 30-50 min. Which I am finding very difficult with DD1. We’ve only just moved on to stage 2 moving away from cot due to her having cold, so maybe that process will help.

But last night was first full sleep through! 7-6.15 wow. DH has been doing all weekend but no doubt she’ll be up for me now!

Last night was amazing...she was asleep by 7.15 and slept til 10.30,had a feed and then went back and slept til almost 6am!! I can't believe it,that was only her 3rd night! Also I heard her waking a couple of times but she just chatted for a min then went back which I think is really brilliant for her. Yest was good,short first nap but went for over an hr on the second one. Overall I'm very happy just hope it keeps going so well. I'm doing bedtime tnite so fingers crossed she'll go off ok for me!
That's a pity bout the settling for naps merename but maybe ur right and once u start moving away she will hopefully improve. Ur nights sound great tho! It's amazing how well this approach works isn't it? Everyone should be doing it 😊

We had a fantastic nite last nite,bedtime was horrible tho as it was my first time to do it and she wasn't happy at all,lots of real crying, worst bedtime so far. But she settled at 8,slept til 4 had a feed and slept til 6.40!! I just can't believe she's come on so much in a few days 😊 getting naps in the cot but still short. My biggest problem now is her mood! She's gone from a really chilled out happy little baby to a blubbering mess! She doesn't want to be out of my arms at all,didn't even enjoy her bath this morn! And funnily enough she's exhausted! I had to do 2 naps in pram yest after her 2 cot ones and she's onto her 3rd cot one already today and will do a walk one later on. Did anyone else find this with their babies?? Maybe it's just her little system adjusting to it all?? How's everyone else getting on?

Sounds like it all going pretty well @Loveabiscuit! Two good nights in a row - does it feel like a big difference compared to this time last week?! Sounds like we’re having such a similar experience, overall it’s going really well and the nights have improved massively but I’ve struggled with the days a bit. I think it’s because I’m on my own and it’s quite daunting having to do stay and support for the naps as well as bedtime, knowing there will be tears. Today she wouldn’t go down for her 2nd nap at all so took her out in the car which didn’t really work. I don’t know, it just feels like more crying than I’m comfortable with. Are you just winging it a bit with the naps? I might just go back to pram for a bit as I know it works and doesn’t make my stress levels go through the roof. It’s so many changes to make in one go isn’t it?

I know what u mean it is a lot of change at one time and so different to how things were. I think that's why my dd is cranky and tired, maybe just having to get used to this new way of being! I'm actually feeling really crap myself tireder than usual which seems strange but have gotten so used to not having any I guess my system has to adjust too and my boobs,they dont know whats going on!
Naps actually going really good,she just went today for 3 in the cot ,no giving out whatsoever. The 3rd one was over an hr so I didn't have to do another and she was in such good form after it. But like I was saying the rest have been very short just hoping it will all even out soon.
So do u have to do it all on ur own? Thats really tough going and def hard if there's crying. If ur having a hard time with the naps I would absolutely use the pram if it works,as long as she's getting sleep I wouldn't be too concerned yet,it's still early days. So glad ur nights are going so well 😊 it's so nice to have evening time back,I really can't get over how good it's working. Tonight dh put her dwn,she was asleep within 5 mins before 7pm! I got to tidy up after dinner,sort all the washing out,put ds to bed,go for a walk then watch stranger things with a cuppa 😊 and now going to bed knowing that I'll get some proper sleep! Great to have a bit of normality back!

Hi both, I can relate to various things you are both saying. I am struggling so much with the days to be honest. She is still crying a fair bit for most naps, although there’s the odd dream one where she barely cries and is asleep in minutes. I am not comfortable with it really, when she gets proper sad, even though it doesn’t usually last that long, but I fear making her more distressed by picking her up, which I’ve done a couple of times. She’s complaining when we enter the room which is sad.

But we’ve now had three nights in a row of 7pm-6am. Tonight she’s been a bit unsettled after a crap second nap and overtired bedtime. Long story but this afternoon was an emergency buggy nap as she was so overtired and upset, but was only 30m. Somehow we’ve ended up in a situation where buggy naps are now only 30m but cot ones usually 1.5hrs! So feels like I can’t even go back to buggy without impacting night sleep...we are still working on intervening less to be able to withdraw, so that may be part of the whole problem.

Like you’re saying about feeling unexpectedly crap Loveabiscuit, I feel I should feel so happy with the developments but I’m actually feeling quite anxious about it all, still kinda tired but mainly worrying about what’s going on for DD. Sorry I’m typing at the end of a hard day and probably will feel more positive again in the morning, so many highs and lows!

Wow it sounds like you’re having a bit of success with naps then @Loveabiscuit! I’ve found this element the hardest so far but having mixed success. Trying to persevere but some of them have been a bit tough, have just given up and done car but today she’s done 2 cot naps which is great.

My DH is amazing - feel bad giving the impression I’m doing this alone! But he is generally out of the house for naps and bedtime. However he started the plan and did most of the settling for the first 2 days. And he’s done the last 2 nights even though he’s at work (luckily only 1 wake up) - I’ve just finished breastfeeding which I think has made it extra tough because my hormones are all over the place! I was really struggling last night so he got home in time for bed - so he’s been great. I’m just a wimp and not good when it’s just me and her in the days! Have back up over the next few days though and I’m hoping as we approach a week it will gradually get easier?!

I’ve found DD is ok in herself aside from the slightly challenging naps so that’s good! I keep worrying she’ll wake up cross but she seems good. How old is your little one? Worth checking for leaps etc! There’s always something that’s causing them to be off their game - I’m sure DD is going to get her first teeth pretty soon which will be fun!

@Merename I could have written your post last night. I’m getting way better sleep than I was so feel a bit better in that sense, but when things have been tough I just feel awful, anxious and so on edge. When it goes well I feel great - such a rollercoaster! I just keep trying to remind myself what this is all for and that it will help us all as a family so much. I’m sure within another week it will seem even easier, there will be setbacks but it has to get better. I’m trying not to stress too much about the naps and take the wins where I can get them (have just settled her for a post swim nap in 5 mins - amazing!). Also trying to get a bit of time to myself as i can feel it affecting me, I get quite anxious anyway. Using a bit of headspace for mindfulness and making the most of the light evenings, getting out for a walk once DH is home. We definitely have to look after ourselves as much as we can through this! Yesterday I felt so despondent but feeling much better today, I hope you are too.

It's hard to be feeling off form but sometimes I think us mothers don't give ourselves enough credit for what we do. Its bloody hard work looking after babies and children and it is just constant and all consuming. Its constant worry and stress and honestly I don't think it gets easier because as they get bigger there's just different things to be worrying about! I gave up my job when I had ds 4 yrs ago and I absolutely love being at home but my god there are times I feel I'm going to lose mind! And up to a while ago I felt so guilty if I said anything bad about him but that's just not realistic,kids can be a real pain in the ass,doesn't mean we love them any less! I'm really trying to be kinder to myself the last while as I always seem to be getting on to myself about something,housework,weight,exercise etc. You give so much of urself every day (and nite!) that there's really very little left over for urself. It really is important to try make time for ourselves,hard as it may be. But with this new sleep routine at least there's some time in the evenings for a bit of a chill.
Tonight was my first nite putting both to bed,I was so worried about it but it went brilliant! Left ds with cartoons so he was in total zombie mode but she went so easy I needn't have worried. She talked and blew bubbles for about 20 mins and then just settled,I needn't have even been in the room. Lovely to c her so chilled.
It is hard getting used to the routine and all that goes with it but in a wk or so it should be easier and a bit more practical. We haven't gone anywhere other than walks this wk but nxt wk will just have to work the sleep into our days,can't stay here forever!
I'm really annoyed tonight tho as I've got yet another clog in my boob 😠 I really hoped id be done with them once I stopped feeding lying dwn. So I'm off to get a hot face cloth and my pump! Hope the night goes well ladies and ur both doin better 😊

You’re so right, we need to give ourselves a break but it does feel like constantly feeling like we’re not doing enough. This is my first baby and I was constantly told things would get easier so I’m struggling a bit as finding it’s not the case. I’ve had a bit of a revelation though as have been tapering off breastfeeding the last few weeks and I think the hormones are making me a bit crazy. I had no idea it was a thing but it’s basically a form of postnatal anxiety/depression that no one really talks about! Now I understand a bit more I feel better in that there’s a reason for it if that makes sense. The other program we’ve created was that DD was feeding all night but I wasn’t making much milk - we’ve had to replace with bottles but she’s now taking way too much milk at night so not interested in the day! So need to night wean too. One thing at a time though, don’t think I can cope with any more upheaval!

@Loveabiscuit well done on getting both of them to bed - you’re superwoman! Can’t even imagine trying to do this with 2! I hope your clogs improve soon as well, I’ve had those a fair few times and it’s not pleasant. I’ve recently found a hand pump really effective for dealing with them.

Still plodding away with naps. Morning was easy today and lunchtime one harder - had to persevere for 45 mins but got there. Still hate it though!

Oh yea I imagine the hormones would drive u a bit crazy ok,just to add to it all eh! Ur body is probably wondering what the hell is going on. But at least u know what's happening so that's good and I'm sure the funny feelings will improve once ur body adjusts to it all. It really is tough going at times,we do need to try be kind to ourselves. And great and all as the men are they just don't get it! I even reckon my very kind,patient dh would go insane if he was here on his own for even 1 full day and night 😁
Hopefully the naps will improve for u,it's still early days. I actually can't believe it was only last Fri we started this,what a week! I actually had a couple of harder ones today and still very short. U end up constantly watching the clock don't u! I started solids last wk so between the naps,boob feeds and trying the solids I feel the day passes so quickly trying to get everything done and then ur trying to get sorted for bedtime! Oh to be young and carefree 😊
Yea these clogs really bugging me. I did a "dangle"feed this evening which finally relieved it and now the other side is clogged and the blister is so flipping sore I can't bear to pump. I'm hoping that the first feed of nite will sort it. The joys eh!

Hi guys, sounds like you are both doing great through all the highs and the lows. And your babies too, they are so much more adaptable than we expect!

That’s so interesting about the breastfeeding hormones @Corilee2806, I wonder if that’s been affecting me recently as I have felt quite depressed in the weeks running up to doing this too, and in a way that’s different to the usual sleep deprived struggles. But did reduce feeds at night quite rapidly - there were so many!!

We are still much the same - onto 6 nights now of sleeping right through, she seems to have learned how to stay asleep and settle herself if she wakes in the night. However going down for bed and naps is more often difficult than not. I think a big problem for us is having stayed at the first stage so long due to her having had cold etc, so she’s now learned that they help me go to sleep via singing, tapping the mattress etc. We try to withdraw this which is doable if we have gotten all conditions PERFECT, ie not even 5 min late, not having had too animated a time before going up to bed, having timed meals and feeds well. But if she is a bit tired and moany, or overstimulated, she cries and needs a lot of help to fall asleep. So we’ve concluded that this weekend we’re almost going back to start with stage 2, ie moving away and toughing it out a bit til she learns that, rather than all the back and forward we are doing and giving her mixed messages. I feel better with that plan, as I felt we were causing her unnecessary distress - I don’t mind a bit of crying if I feel it’s protesting against a change which she will have to learn, but on my down days I’ve felt she’s just sad as she doesn’t understand why I won’t stroke her when I did it the day before, and I end up doing it as I feel so guilty. I was so against sleep training with my first, a bit judgy if I’m honest, and while I’m mostly happy with the approach, it is pushing some of my ‘this is not the mum I want to be’ buttons. But with the two of them, I feel there is no choice. And having done this I have seen how being baby led doesn’t always benefit baby, I’ve shifted in my views a lot. I’m rambling but suppose I’m saying I kind of wish this wasn’t necessary but I’m also so lucky that she’s sleeping at night, i can’t believe I’m moaning really. I think I just expected to feel happier!!

Sorry about all your clogs @Loveabiscuit. They really do get you down don’t they, the feeling of impending doom, as well as the pain. My boobs have improved a lot with still feeding less but I still have a blister on one side that keeps regrowing. I mostly manage to keep it open and not too sore by scrubbing it briskly every day. I also take lecithin, dunno if that helps. Mainly I think the improvement is through boobs not working so hard.

Hope you’re both going to get a fairly restful weekend with DHs around to help.

I totally know what u mean merename,I never wanted to do this either and I really really hoped it wouldn't come to it. So jealous of all the people who have babies who just sleep all by themselves! It takes over completely doesn't it because ur so exhausted the first couple of months anyway but then u keep waiting for it to settle,just keeps getting worse and worse and then ur reading all kinds of stuff to try keep urself sane. I have been totally obsessed with her sleep for months now and today I felt Almost more so and it's driving me a bit crazy. I had 2 failed nap attempts in the cot this morn so had to do a drive. Then this evening I went for a walk but I honestly didn't enjoy it cause all I was doing was watching her and getting mad she wasn't going asleep quick enough! She fell asleep about 5 mins from home so had to keep going then I was panicking that she'd be asleep too much after 5! And it was the same yest tho she didn't fall asleep at all so I thought bedtime would be a disaster. It wasn't thankfully. I dunno,it all just takes the joy out of it in a way doesn't it! I dunno,think I'm just feeling a bit deflated today. Had a good wk but the crying and no naps this morn really threw me and made me realise how worked up I am about it all. I'm so happy but still feeling tired and just a bit off. I suppose there's going to be good days and bad days! Here now doing bedtime and she's starting to get worked up 🙁 hope ur both having a better day than me 😊

Hope you’re all having a nice weekend and getting some time to chill and step outside of the crazy sleep world! I feel a bit like it’s taking over my life so I totally get where you’re coming from. I think that’s normal and in a few weeks as things settle it will start to feel like it’s just the new way of things. This weekend feels like we’re turning a bit of a corner but don’t want to get too excited! Still having the odd nap fail but overall it’s not too bad and getting some longer stretches at night. I’m still getting used to it and feeling a bit anxious but I keep trying to focus on 2/3 weeks time and thinking about what a difference there will hopefully be by then. One of my friends started this about a month ago and she’s in a really good place with it all now, having started from a similar place to us, which gives me hope!

@Merename I’m sure dropping night feeds will have had an impact, that’s what I found - that’s the time the hormones are highest for milk production so it’s kind of like a withdrawal! I hope you’re feeling a bit better and having some more success with stage 2. I was having similar worries that I was doing too much and overly intervening so making a conscious effort to try and pull back a bit - it’s hard isn’t it!

Keep going - this is all going to be so worth it and I totally relate to what you’re both saying about how deflated you both feel when things don’t go so well, but we’ve all had such good results overall and I’m sure we will continue to. I’m so glad I found this group, lovely to chat to other mums in the same position as me!

Thanks so much to you both for the kind words. I agree, been so helpful to have people to chat to who are doing it. I’m delighted to say we feel like we have turned a corner too! You don’t want to say that out loud, do you?! But since I wrote last post, we’ve started going up even earlier and spending longer on pre sleep ritual. And she’s started going down a lot more smoothly. I think she needs waaay more sleep than I ever imagined - I was often stretching out the time before I took her up as I was worried about her kicking off because she wasn’t tired, but actually we’ve found if you take her early then there’s no (or minimal) complaining about going in, and then we can spend lots of time on the nice snuggly soothy bits that start her getting sleepy, so that when we start reading stories she starts yawning and eye rubbing. We’ve had a few where she literally just falls asleep in 5min from being out in cot. So last night I moved away from cot again, having had a few nice experiences under her belt, and she coped fine, same this morning. Hooray!! My next anxiety is that we are going on holiday for 2 weeks, in just under 2 weeks time. So if we stick to the plan from now she’ll only have a few days experience by then of us putting her down and leaving the room. But, feeling a bit more positive now, I think the hardest parts must be at the start.

How are things today @Loveabiscuit? Hope a bit better, and if not that you’re managing to keep your head above water! I wonder if the reducing feeds is a big factor for us all, as well as the emotional side of changing your behaviour with your baby so much. I now feel that there is hope that I can still be how I want to be with her, it’s just taking longer to transition through the changes than I may have expected. I also feel it’s taken this long to really understand what we are doing - like now I realise the importance of the pre-nap ritual, it’s not just cues but actively helping them move from busy and animated through to sleepy and quiet. A big task for them when siblings are around, or we’ve rushed home from being out etc. You guys probably realised this but it’s been a lightbulb moment!

Great to hear ur bedtimes are going good merename,a big relief I'm sure! I think I'll take ur advice on the pre nap ritual as I think maybe I've been trying to get her off too quickly tho like u said with older kids around its hard! I hope things keep going well for u so u won't be too worried when holiday time comes. How long are u doing it now?

I'm having a really shit day to be honest. I just feel like it's slipping a bit on me already. Bedtime last night took an hr and a half and tonight dh has already been dwn there almost an hr and she's doing a lot of giving out again. She did ok last night tho she woke well before 6am, I heard dh settling her back so ds came into me as I'm still in the spare room and we snoozed til 7.30. When I went dwn to get the baby she was asleep snuggled up beside daddy in the bed. Very sweet but in my head I instantly started screaming that she's not supposed to be in the bed,it's what we're trying to get away from! That's what I mean about the joy being taken out of things. Then she refused naps in the cot again this morning,I thought I was going to explode!! She hasn't taken a nap in the cot since Friday. I don't know what's going on or why things are going like this but it's driving me crazy. I know it's unrealistic to think it would all be sorted by now but she was doing so well. I suppose I'm just so worried that it will really all go to shit again and end up back where we started 😓 finding it hard to stay focused and positive about it all. And dh hasn't been feeling great,ds requiring a lot of attention and I feel like leaving them all to it for a while!!
Also she's doing so much more crying than she had been and its really not nice to c her so upset. I'm going back to the room tonight too so really hoping she's not going to sniff me out!
Sorry for all the moaning just feeling totally pissed off today and it really is nice to be able to talk to people who are going through the same thing. Hope u both doing better than me!

Oh I’m sorry to hear you so down, that all sounds really tough. We’ll be three weeks this Thursday. It was Thursday there we turned a corner a bit, basically the first week went well and the second was really hard. Does she get upset about going in the room? I find i can tell now if she’s a bit too tired if she cries at being brought in the room, if we’ve gone up early enough then she doesn’t.

What have the nights been like over weekend?

Sending you a big hug and

Ps are you Irish? The ‘giving out’ is a giveaway ha. DH is from Dublin. It pleased him (and his mother) that LW is Irish

Ah yea I sure am! That's gas,I'm from kilkenny living in waterford,probably makes no sense to u 😊
Yea sometimes she gets a little upset if we go in and other times she's ok. But I've been really watching the times and going earlier than needed usually,this morn I was actually wondering had I gone too early.
Nights are ok,she's settled at 2 feeds so tends to wake about 10.30 and then again about 2.30 or a little later. But she then tends to wake about 6 making it a very long day!
Tonight she was at least an hr and a half going off again and quite upset,dh not the happiest after it,it's really hard when they're just refusing to settle dwn
Thnx for the good wishes and hopefully by the time we get to ur stage things will be easier 😊 I'm going to just go for it tmrw like we're starting over and be really strict with times and just make her go in the cot. Fingers crossed anyway..

Hi ladies, hope you’re having good weeks so far and feeling a bit more positive on this rollercoaster ride of trying to fix our babies sleep! Things aren’t too bad here, feeling a bit easier day by day although it is still dominating my life! Oh well, I did set aside July for this reason and hopefully it will pay off. Getting some good night time sleep which has made me feel loads better compared to the zombie I was a few weeks back! Naps going ok too although I think we’re at that tricky almost going from 3 to 2 nap point so feel like there’s a bit of work to do there. How old are your little ones again and are you on 3 naps still? It’s a lot of sleep to fit into the day! Also feel like we’re not quite working through the stages at Lucy’s suggested pace but I do feel we are gradually doing less and it feels ok for me at the moment - I want to meet DD where she is and not push her too far. But mindful of not staying too involved for too long as I know that can make it harder for her in the long run! How are you getting on with that @Merename? I totally know what you mean about all the learning, I’m so surprised at how much more sleep she needs than I realised. I was doing the same as you with the wake periods and stretching them out but I think really she does need to start preparing after a little over 2 hours. This is why I feel conflicted about dropping the 3rd nap!

So sorry to hear you’ve been struggling @Loveabiscuit and I sincerely hope you’re feeling better about things since the weekend. It can be so all consuming and downright disheartening when it doesn’t go to plan. That’s the downside of following routines I think - to begin with, while they are settling in, they can almost make you feel like you’re being set up to fail while you ride out the early weeks and try to have faith that it will eventually get better and in time, will become second nature. It’s so hard - have you watched the videos on LW’s Instagram? She’s has some really good advice for when things aren’t going so well and also some troubleshooting tips for why it might not be working. I keep rereading sections of her book every night and highlighting, I said to my OH I feel like I’ve been studying for an exam! I think that’s the problem - we spend so much time thinking about it and it’s horrible when our best efforts don’t pay off. Keep plodding away though, just take one day at a time, and remember you’re doing a fantastic job. Maybe get your OH to reread the book too so he fully is on board with what you’re trying to achieve?!

Good to hear ur having success with it,is she still having a couple of feeds during the night? My dd seems to have settled on 2 tho has managed a couple of nites with only 1. Great ur managing the naps too. My dd is 6 months so still needs the 3 naps but just doesn't happen everyday.
Yest morn I was determined she was going to nap in the cot after the disastrous wknd so went dwn ready for action but she just went straight off! I couldn't believe it! But then the 2nd one didn't happen,she was so upset. I know lw says to try for a nap for an hr but I just can't do that to her during the day,seems way to long and also ds on his own while I'm doing it so I just abandoned it again and she had a bit in the car. I was on my own last nite and it was horrible,worst ever. She was so unbelievably upset it just broke my heart. I was supposed to be out in the hall last nite but there was no way I could leave her. She eventually went after an hr but then about 20 mins later I was putting ds to bed and she started again,really awful crying. Dh came home at 9 and I had to ask him to take over,I was crying as bad as her at that stage! She went after about 30 mins and then slept til 3,had a feed then back til 6.30 which was great. Overall tho it was awful,I felt so shit and sad that I could so easily put an end to her upset by just giving her a boob but then I could screw everything up even more.
So got up this morn trying my best to be positive and we had great nap success,took 2 in cot with no giving out at all. And one was nearly 2 hrs long so that was really good. She didn't get a 3rd tho so we went for an early bedtime. Dh here tnite so he did it. Took an hr but not as much crying,more giving out than anything. She woke again after bout 20 mins but he settled her back easy.
I'm really going between feeling totally deflated and optimistic. Thankfully there are positives to hold onto but I'm finding it really really hard. I haven't seen those videos u talk about so will try do that and like u constantly reading parts from the book trying to give myself a boost!
Dh just stayed in with her tnite,she's obviously not ready for us to be away from her just yet. Will stay at this stage for a nite or 2 then try again.
Onwards and upwards as they say 😊