Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

[MrsKoala]

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

How is everyone? I hope you are feeling better MrsK.
I've had a rough few days. Had DHs family come to stay for a long weekend, which was just one big disruption. DS had a temperature all of Sunday and Monday morning, not sleeping well. He's still snotty and coughing. Then I noticed 2 more bottom teeth cutting through.
So at the moment I think I'm fighting against nursery upsetting his routine, a cold, teething, possible 12 month regression and noisy family members. Feeling a bit low myself today but just keep trying to tell myself to be patient and give him time to get through it.

Oh dear Boodles. That sounds like a lot at once.

We are back to worse than square one. DD wont go in the cot and wants to be held by me with my boob in her mouth all night. I am back to being a zombie. She wont be soothed by DH at all.

On Saturday night my mum had the boys and we were going to try to get her going 4hrs without me to build up. We agreed i'd sleep 10-2am (did last feed 10 and put her straight in the bed with DH) and then i'd take her 2-6am. But she screamed and screamed from 11ish and DH brought her into me at 12.15 as he couldn't cope any more. I wasn't happy and fed her and then insisted he take her back till 2. He did but she cried the whole time downstairs for me. He then slept 2-7.30 and i gave her back and he tried to say as he'd been up till 2 that it wasn't fair. But he had had 5 and a half hours sleep straight and i'd had no more than a 1.5 hr chunk. So i went back to bed till 9.

Today she napped quite early 12.30-1.30 so i am going to do bath and bedtime routine at 6 to try to get her asleep for 6.45. Then she wakes every 45 mins till one of us lays with her at about 9pm and then she wakes about every hour after that for boob.

We are going on holiday on Sat and i am dreading it. I'm going to spend all my free time sleeping so it will feel like a horrible waste and i can just see me sitting in the bedroom with her all evening while everyone else has a nice dinner.

I just don't know why she wont sleep. Doesn't she need it? I fucking do!

Yeah the 2 teeth came from nowhere but I can already see the next one lining up too. Poor thing had no teeth for so long and is now getting them all back to back.

That sounds so tough MrsK. I don't even know what to suggest. I guess the change in routine by going on holiday would unsettle things anyway so maybe just ride it out til you're back? Are you still speaking to the sleep consultant?

Did bath and bed routine and she was all happy and sleepy and i was about to put her in her cot and bloody DS2 came barging in chattering away. He woke her up and i kept telling him to go but he wouldn't he started to climb in the bed and say 'ill be quiet' and 'ill sleep here' and 'can i stroke your arm mummy?' I was hissing go down stairs and he just ignored me. In the end i put him out the door and then he stayed talking to me thru it. I put her in her cot and she was already crying because of him. She is still screaming.

He really is very trying at this age and i am struggling with him. I know he is only 3 but he wont do anything i say and just acts like this all the time. I'm so cross with him. I know it's because i'm tired.

The 2 year gap is shit. I remember this exact thing when DS1 was 3 and DS2 was 1. You just can't tell a 3 year old to stay downstairs and watch telly. They want to find you and bother you all the time!

I tried to put DS down slightly earlier seeing as he didn't nap much today. Just gave him a nice bath, in pjs and giving milk on the bed. He had a little coughing fit and puked up his dinner, pudding and milk all over me and the bed :-( I put fresh bedding on today too!! He's never been sick before so now he's a bit freaked out and obviously wide awake. There's peas & carrots everywhere!!

My Nephew who stayed the weekend is 3 and was exactly like that. Wouldn't listen to anything he was told and also spent the whole time whinging or saying no. It was tough but I only had him for a few days!!

We've had the shittest weekend of all the shit weekends ever. I had a mmc on Friday and on Saturday DD and I got a d&v bug. Subconsciously she must have known I needed to sleep because she slept through on Friday and Saturday, but I have woken up to diarrhoea carnage in DD's cot for 3 mornings now! She's been so good though and I'm so broken by what happened on Friday. Sorry to bring the mood down, but it's good to be able to share.

Is mmc a miscarriage Fanny? If so i'm so sorry. That is terrible you poor poor thing.

Yes MrsK. That plus the sickness bug has really left me emotionally and physically drained this week.

I hope you are resting and treating yourself as kindly as you can. Is your DH looking after you?

He's been ok. He's trying his best, but he struggles with emotions and can't really do empathy, but he's been helping a lot more with DD. TBH I don't really need to talk to him about it. I'd probably tell him I want to try again ASAP and he'll probably want to wait, so I don't want to have that argument.

Best just try and rest for now. No need to start stressing about other things just yet.

So sorry to hear that fanny. I hope you can get some rest and take care of yourself x

Last night was crappy. DD woke at 8pm then again at 8.45. So i just had no dinner and went to bed with her as i was so tired. She then woke every half hour till 11 when she stayed awake crying till 2am. I was with her and she didn't want boob, or cuddles, she was flopping all over the bed and wouldn't settle. Then she went off on the boob at 2 and stayed on it till 7.45.

So DS keeps waking and having coughing fits, sounds like he's going to cough up a lung. I've tried everything but the cough isn't budging. Ordered that humidifier so that should arrive today I think. I tried resetting him and he just wouldn't go back down so I gave up and brought him in my room. As soon as I put him on the bed, he just rolled over and went to sleep. The little bugger is just playing me! I need to be strong and not give in. I didn't get much sleeo with him in there anyway so I need to go back to CC.

i hate the coughing fits they have. Really scary.

Last night was stressful. I put dd down at 7. Then DS2 at 7.15. Then DS1 at 7.30. At 8 i start to get dinner on quickly as our financial advisor was out at 8.30pm. DD woke and I burnt the dinner. I couldn't resettle her so she was up the whole time the guy was here, crying and pulling at my boobs but refusing an actual feed. Then at 9 DS2 woke and wouldn't resettle so we had him down too. The financial guy left at 10.30 and i tool DD to bed but ds2 was up with DH. DH took him to bed with him at midnight and he fell asleep so DS2 came running into the room me and DD were sleeping in and woke us both up at 12.30am.

I've contacted the sleep consultant and we are resuming training the week of the 5th Feb. Just got to survive till then!

Last night was slightly better and I stuck to my guns. DS slept til 4.15 then woke up coughing. Dh got up for the first time ever and said I'll bring him in here...i was like no!! So I settled him within a few mins but then he woke up again. He turned his own cot mobile on and settled himself to the music. Me and DH were giggling that he did that. Hoping we can get back on the right track now.

How was the ski trip @MrsKoala ?

Great thanks. Really lovely place etc. But i have hurt my thumb and my knee so that's not great. We had to drive straight to the hospital from the airport when we landed as i couldn't walk. I now am wearing a leg brace and on crutches and have a very swollen knee and hand. Ah well. It was worth it.

The sleeping is fucked tho. It's even worse than before as we were all sleeping in 2 rooms and i had to do what i could to stop DD disturbing everyone. She is back to not sleeping at all if not held or on the boob constantly. I'm going to start weaning next week when it's half term i think. The Sleep consultant will be picking it up again too.

Today is my birthday so i'm taking it easy but will plan a time to start sleep training again.

How is everyone else doing?

Fanny how are you?

Glad you had a nice time MrsK sorry to hear about your knee and thumb! Happy belated birthday too! Good luck on the weaning and sleep training again.

We are doing better here, I had about 10 solid nights of 12 hours sleep from DS. Then he has started to wake early anywhere between 4-6am. Sometimes I can settle him, sometime it's the start of the day! But this week he has really turned a corner with nursery and more settled. No tears from him at drop off/pick up. He's walking and babbling away! I feel so much more relieved now I know he's doing ok there!
How is everyone?
Hope you are doing ok fanny x

Glad you had a good holiday MrsK. Hope the leg is better soon. I've been struggling a bit, so will probably go to see the GP next week. DP is no help at all! DD is sleeping ok, although she hasn't slept through for a while. She's waking 2 times a night and I have to go and lie her back down, but she usually goes straight back to sleep. Good luck with the sleep consultant, hopefully you can nail it this time. Glad things are going well Boodles. Early mornings are a killer though. I've just got DD a Gro clock and I think it's starting to help.

Why isn’t you dh being helpful? Is he not supporting you or just acting like nothing has happened? Poor you :(

I am currently at a&e as I had an X-ray and it appears my thumb is broken. Sigh. I hope they don’t put a cast on it.

Planning on starting gently sleep training dd on Friday. Going to try to get her back to going to bed alone in the cot then co-sleeping with dh and not feeding in the night. She’s back up to 5 times between 11-6 now and I am not happy. Dh doesn’t want to do it really as he is sleeping great and he doesn’t want her to cry.

Next Monday I am also starting sleep training ds1 who is now taking an hour and a half to go to sleep and we have to be laying next to him. That fucks me off the most as by then I am tired and hungry and irritated. Ds2 is begging for bed but I can’t do it as dd cries and if dd is asleep ds2 wakes her.

Last night it was 9pm when ds1 eventually went. By then ds2 was over tired and dd was manic.

So Monday ds1 gets 10 mins of books and 10 mins of sitting in the dark and that’s it. I’m shutting him in alone!

How's the sleep training going mrsk?

Okay. DD has coslept with DH since Friday night. Hasn't had a feed in the night once. She is still going to sleep on the boob and being held till bed time tho. And yesterday she became poorly with another cold/new back tooth and was very clingy and on the boob all day and cried a lot for me in the night, but i didn't feed her as that's how we backslid last time. DH is doing really well and is not caving to bring her to me like before. (I have told him he can't do his hobby till we crack it as last time he went i held her all night and the boys were up and it was so utterly miserable. I said him going off for the night was taking the piss if he wouldn't help me sleep train, he either did all the nights with her and never went out or supported me sleep training.)

I can't start the original 'bath, book, bed' routine as my thumb is broken and my hand is strapped up and thumb in a cast/splint thing for 6-8 weeks (i may need a pin put in next week). So I am going to try to do the routine starting this Friday without the bath bit. Which is a shame as DD really loved that part. I may speak to the sleep consultant wrt what to replace it with.

How are you doing Boodles? How is everyone else?