Cry it out

[FannyTheFlamingo]

Please can someone talk to me about the 'Cry it out' method? I am at my wits end. My relationship is falling apart and I'm so tired I can't see straight. I've tried everything, but my 1 yr old refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms. Last night she didn't go to sleep till 10.30pm after screaming for 2 hours. She used to self settle in her cot up until about 10 months, and now if I as much as show her the cot she goes berserk and if I say the word 'bed' she starts crying. I know there's a few people on here that give really good advice, so I'm hoping someone can help!

I’ll come back in 10 years and see what is known about the effects.

Interesting article about mental health in young people.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/teenage-mental-health-crisis-rates-of-depression-have-soared-in-the-past-25-years-a6894676.html

“Rates of depression and anxiety among teenagers have increased by 70 per cent in the past 25 years. The number of children and young people turning up in A&E with a psychiatric condition has more than doubled since 2009”

2009 is the year GF’s contenteted little baby book was published. Could be a complete coincidence, of course, and there will be multiple factors to consider, but I’m pretty sure there will be a study at some point soon that aligns these 2 things.

In the meantime I won’t be doing CC with my daughter, given she’s 7 and could represent wales were sleeping an Olympic sport. 😂

Oh dear Titty I think you might have done your psychology module at a low-grade establishment.
Yes rates of depression and anxiety have gone up in children and teenagers. Yes this is a hugely worrying trend.
There is ZERO correlation between this and the publication of Gina Ford’s Contented Baby book. ZERO.
Current theories around the causal factors of increased mental health issues in children and young people include
Less time for unstructured play
Less time outdoors/in nature
The rise of technology and smartphone use
Poor quality sleep
Poor quality nutrition

These are all theories and nobody can say for sure what is driving the trend.

However I can tell you for sure and certain that it is not the publication of The Contented Baby, which by the way was considered “soft” by a previous generation who fed 4-hourly and parked th pram in the garden so they wouldn’t hear the baby cry. Swaddling and blackouts and assisting to sleep between cycles, ^as
Promoted by Gina^ are not the issue here.

The rapidly increasing number of young people attending A&E with MH issues is in a large part down to children’s MH services being cut since 2009. A lack of ongoing specialist support means young people presenting to A&E in crisis.

Not due to GF’s book.

Titty I'm struggling to establish how someone who claims to be educated to degree levels could leap to such ridiculous conclusions.

Cortisol inhibits brain development
As Fate pointed out, breastfed babies naturally have higher cortisol levels than bottle-fed babies. Cortisol is also released in response to excitement - do you propose children aren't allowed to get excited and happy as it may inhibit brain development?!! Additionally, children (and adults) with a number of medical conditions are treated with steroids - in simple terms, steroids raise cortisol. Are you also suggesting that we are inhibiting their brain development by treating life-threatening conditions?!
Your statement was a conclusion drawn from children who suffered prolonged neglect and abuse - a far cry from any child who is being discussed on this threat and therefore completely irrelevant.

As for your comment on the link between Gina Ford and the increased rate of depression and anxiety - you certainly made me laugh that anyone could seriously think her book had such a large impact on society
Unless the study is being conducted by yourself unlikely given your clear lack of knowledge on all things studies, statistics and child health I would say it is highly unlikely there will be such a study as there have been far more significant changes in society over the past 7-10 years together with a massive cut in childrens mental health funding which explain the situation far better (and some of which are currently being studied)

You don't agree with sleep training. We can all see that - you have made your choices and done what you feel is best for your child. However, maybe you should just not bother reading any threads relating to sleep training as you have nothing constructive to add and writing nasty and abusive comments is helping no-one. it will probably also benefit your blood pressure

Controlled crying wasn't invented by the Gina ford generation anyway it's been used forever - ask your grandparents my great gran in law was baffled by cosleeping feeding on demand etc ... so you really can't link current concerns with mental health among youngsters with bloody Gina ford !!!!

And the reason it's been used for so long is it works and parents and babies need sleep to function and develop and grow

My grandma told me the other day that crying strengthens the lungs can't say I agree, but it's clear CC has been around for a very long time.

My mum told me that when I was a baby and cried a lot, she was told to just leave me for a while and have a sherry! 😂

Poor Gina Ford, getting the entire blame for the decline in the nation's mental health!

That or a complement in disguise that someone is crazy enough to believe her book was successful to the extent that it had an effect on an entire generation 😂

Child psychologist here. Really, really don't do cry it out.

NO ONE is doing cry it out. This isn’t controlled crying with plenty of support and comforting from the parents.

How is it going OP? (i'm keeping my fingers crossed that it has worked for you as selfishly i need the encouragement!!)

I had my meeting with the sleep trainer today and am starting tonight. It is avery gentle version of CC, a bit like no cry solution. I have started a thread if anyone is training at the same time and wanted a mutual support group as i didn't want to hijack your thread.

Really do hope you have had some better sleep :)

@MrsKoala It's a bit up and down. She goes off to sleep fine at about 7.15. The last 2 nights I've heard her wake and put herself back to sleep a couple of times, but she still wakes up and needs me 2-3 times and she's still needing a 3am nappy change. Now I'm struggling to fall back to sleep in the night as I'm always listening out for her to wake up! I'll come find your thread!

Oh I hate that, laying awake when you are exhausted but knowing the moment you fall asleep you will be woken so you can’t drop off. Sometimes I think getting a little sleep is worse than none. I feel like death warmed up when I’m dragged out of a deep sleep.

Is your baby just wet or dirty too in the night?

She's had a dirty nappy the past 5 nights. She seems to be doing it in her sleep and then obviously waking up and crying because she needs changing. I'm going to speak to the HV about it as I think it's diet related, or it could just be because there's been a change to her routine. But now every time she wakes up, I have to check, which interferes a bit with the gently shushing and stroking! I've also done my back in from leaning over and changing her in the cot