No Cry Sleep Solution - slowly but surely....

[chIRIStmasfairybigpants]

Shiny new thread (saw your post Bikebug

Not been on for a while as we've been a house full of colds and having new heating installed (the warmth is bliss) so DS has been sleeping in with me again as he couldn't breathe
Progress has still been made though as I've only been bringing him in from about 11ish(because I'm lazy)and he's been waking coughing during the evening but managing to resettle himself quite a lot.

I really think we're getting there (though it maybe his age too )

How's everyone else doing?

Now she's got a cold. And it was going so well.. AAARGHH!!

Sashamama, my dd has NEVER woken only once in the night. The longest sleep stretch she's done since birth was 5 hours (at 4 months), which is why this latest 6hr thing is so incredible. Her 6hr stretches go from about 10-4pm, with one waking before 10 and several between 4 and 7, so most people would still consider it a pretty shite night. I'm sure your lo will settle better again, when whatever it is that's bothering her stops. Especially as she has slept reasonably in the past.

Hey Difers, how is the depth of rural Wales? I was pushing dd past a field of sheep (in a desperate attempt to get the snotty little thing to nap - can't breathe, poor thing). There was the cutest little lamb suckling at it's mother. I was sorely tempted to do a swap. I wonder if lambs wake much at night... Glad to hear you've seen some improvement though.

Kittypants, you say your lo's didn't sleep through until 4 & 5? I'm just off to shoot myself.

hi difers. yes i tried to let her cry too but i live in a terrace house with very thin walls and i felt so sorry for my neighbours. she was screaming so loudly and she is so stubborn it would have taken weeks if i continued that way, and then my neighbour will poison our water supply or something, you know...

you know, you guys are the only people i have encountered with problems like mine. ALL of my friends have babies that sleep through the night by about 4 months or earlier and I know they all think it must be something to do with the way i am handling the situation and i am so sick of all the unsolicited advice... do you get that too?

dwb, hope the cold is better now.

Hi, back again (and not much improvement to report ).

Sasha: I know exactly what you mean about other babaes, ALL the babies I know in RL are sleeping through the night (DS waking every 2 hrs still at 4.5 months). All the ff mums look at me in a ptying way and say, ooh yes, DC sidn't sleep through until we started giving a bottle and all the bf mums look concerned as their DC has been sleeping 7-7 since about 10 weeks... We have a regular bedtime routine, try and get DS to nap during the day, keep nighttime feeds dark and quiet blah blah blah.

On the positive side, DS sleeps well between feeds at night and tends to go back to sleep pretty quickly. I've also managed to shush him bacl to sleep a few times after he's woken up, stretching feeds to 3-4 hours occasionally. NCSS did help with sorting naps out during the day (tho he still won't nap in his cot). And I think a lot of his present problems are down to teething.

The thing I worry about it the long-term effects of no sleep on DH and I - I haven't had more than a 2 hr stretch for months. OK, I get a lot of 2 he stretches at night, but never longer. Does this mean I get no REM sleep? Anyone know? Tho I maybe better off not knowing as I suspect this will continue for a while

difers - nothing works here either. ds gets so distressed and confused that I cannot see anything throuhg. I would love hte money to hire a sleep nanny to fix thigs for me. di dyou try pu/pd? my ds got so hysterical with allthe fannying around that it was awful - jst awful.

swizzler - know what you mean about prolonged sleep deprivation and health risks. I worry about my mental state and my plummeting weight (now only 8st 2lbs, pre pregnancy 8st 11lbs). I know i get snappy with dd which i hate myself for. not her fault i'm tired.

Hi guys. Nights have deteriorated again. Bloody colds. Bloody teething. Whatever you do, don't look at sleep deprivation web-sites. Scared the life out of me, I was showing all the 'danger' signs.

I only know two other babies with the same problem, both around the same age as mine (11-12months-ish). One of them started sleeping better immediately when weaned onto a bottle. The other one still wakes up every two hours and the mother tried CC with no effect for ages, then went to the doctors. The doctor said (my paediatrician said this months ago), that it is completely natural for babies to wake like this, especially babies who are 'naturally' parented and that it will get better in time...

Cruisemum, I'm glad I'm not the only one dropping weight! I'm down to 52 kilos now. My DH has lost 15 kilos since dd was born. We call each other Stick Man and Raisin .

dwb - you poor thing.

dwb - I jsut looked on a conversion site and 52 kilos is me too!

I bet you look better on it than me. I'm a geriatric first time mum. I used to look 10 years younger than my age, have a designer haircut, holidays in th Maldives and an HB count of 14.8. Then dd was born and I turned into a prune. Then a sultana, now a raisin. Next step, currant

hey you guys stop complaining about weight loss already! at least you'll look great in this season's leggings and all that!

as for the long term sleep deprivation thingy... maybe one day all of us on this thread will start a new one called 'deranged mums', haha!

seriously though, i found it got easier.

one day i woke up feeling like shit again, hating the world for my lack of sleep and had a bit of an epiphany. i said to myself that i just had to accept that this was going to be the way it is for the next two three years and had to stop fighting and resenting it or i'll sink into serious clinical depression.

I know it's not as easy as that but i swear that realisation was the turning point. i psyched my mind up to believe that all i really needed was 4 hours' sleep and i felt like it was half the battle won.

I used to wake up thinking 'i haven't had enough sleep and must find time for a nap later' and of course everything conspires against me napping and for the rest of the day i am sulking and behaving like some drama queen. so now i try to wake up and tell myself that really, i had a total of 3-4 hours, it should be enough to see me thru the day, and then if i do happen to have a nap it's a lovely bonus. and then after that found i didn't need to nap anymore.

this is pure survival tactics because i have one of those babies who napped for 15 mins, max half an hour and then demanded to be carried for the rest of the day... it was only at 10 months+ that she started to nap for up to an hour.

now i manage to go to work most mornings feeling pretty normal. of course i still have some really crap mornings (and on one of them i reversed the car into a pillar!) but it's been 11 mnths now and i'm still going...

so keep that chin up, wear some gorgeous lipstick, repeat to yourself 'i am a super mummy' and go and have that quadruple shot espresso...

after all you are still here on this message board with your sense of humour intact, so it can't be that bad! have a good day!

Bless you Sashamama! What a lovely post You are right about it getting easier.

You are wrong about me looking good in this season's leggings

thank you dances, yes i cope better with not much sleep these days

BUT

i am still struglling with keeping calm at 3am after being woken up the 6th bloody time... first few awakenings i am great, soothing her wih my calm voice, stroking her head and humming lullabies... by the sixth time i am usually grinding my teeth or pulling my hair out or snapping.. and she senses this and starts wailing.... then dh wakes up and tells me off and i get angry at him and she hears daddy's voice and immediately wants to get up and play and... arrrgh! you can imagine the scenario!

deep breaths... deeeeeeeeeeep breaths....

dwb-i am a geriatric mum! 41 years old with a 9 yr old and 6 month old. I must be mad!

2T2T, you mean you aren't planning another one? You're just a spring chicken

Sashamama, how long does it take you to settle your dd back to sleep, at each waking? Sorry I can't remember, do you co-sleep? I know what you mean about loosing patience backfiring. Been there myself, loads of times.

One little cold and dd's sleeping has regressed a couple of months. Back on the suckathons. I really hate those.

Not from this thread ladies but just evesdropping, Sashasmum (((((sympathy))))) and to you all, lovely thread....

dwb - I am 41 too!! How old are you? or is that rude?

hi everyone again

dwb, i don't co-sleep, she sleeps in a cot next to our bed for now... will move her when she sleeps a bit better... the first few awakenings are easy, and she is usually asleep again in a few minutes. but a least once a night she will stay awake for ages and ages, up to an hour sometimes... thta's the one i get really uncalm about!!

since we are on owning up to ages, i am 36, first, and possibly only babe, unless my husband decides to get pregnant next...

thank you kjaysmum and welcome... does your ittle one sleep well?

er actually we are experiencing quite a few problems at present with ds who is 2.9. The reason I was drawn to this thread is because you are practising the opposite technique to us as we are four days into controlled crying and feeling pretty low really. I cannot really comment as I haven't seen Mrs Pantleys book but am guessing that my wee lad is probably abit too old for this technique usless I go and do a weight lifting course .
We are prepared to give CC another few days and then I have some ideas for a softer approach, ho hum parenting can be such a challenge can it not!

Kjaysmum: NCSS does have a section for older babies

Thanks Swizzler, I shall bear that in mind if I don't see any huge improvement in Ds's sleeping in the next couple of days.

kjaysmum- NCSS is not about pickup/putdown so no need to go weightlifting! That's Baby Whisperer. NCSS is more gentle and baby led than that. and if you want a softly softly solution to nighttimes then NCSS is probably it!

help!ds is poorly and up hourly!no routine as hes just screaming and grumpy.poor little man.im tearing my hair out-i need sleep!

hang in there kittypants, i'm sure it'll get better once he is well again... deeeeeeeeep breaths...!!

kjaysmum, the only thing with controlled crying, is i am sure it can work but some friends have told me that it is not like what the books say, that you train them once and that's it. they tell me that everytime they went on holiday, or the child had a new tooth, or was sick, it was back to square one...

it's the same with ncss or anything else i am sure, because dd goes through cycles of doing really well and then regressing to 1 hourly wakeups. and although i agree in principle with what pantley says, not everything in the book is do-able, and i pretty much bumble along and improvise and hope for the best.

kjay - hope you are seeing results from cc and that all the heartache for you all is not in vain . What is it that is not working? is he not responding to cc?
kitty - . hope lo recovrs soon and you get some sleep.