hello
I have been away from this conversation for a long time as we went back to the UK over christmas, then when we got back to malaysia it was busy busy busy. well dd is now 10 months but we are making progress, albeit super slowly.
I stopped feeding her (formula) at night oh, maybe 4 or 5 months ago... and did it help, hell! But i stuck to it anyway. And i agree, kittypants, it is easier than trying to withold the boob.
I had to teach her to use a pacifier for the flight (to cope with the air pressure) and then she got so badly addicted to it that it made her sleeping even worse. she would wake up fifteen minutes after she fell asleep because the damn thing fell off, and then it came to a point where she was so addicted that even my rocking or shooshing would not do, she'd just scream and touch her hands to her lips in a really pathetic way to say she wanted the pacifier...
but i decided it had to stop and spent a week of waking up 7 times a night to rock and rock and shoosh and do the pantley pull off with the pacifier while she screamed. Gradually i stopped giving the pacifier completely, she got used to it and then i decided not to pick her up, to just put her down after her milk without rocking. this took another week of crying (with me having a chronic backache from bending over the cot to stroke her back) and then. One night last week I put her into the cot awake, and for the first time she didn't protest, and then she babbled and pulled yourself up to stand and rolled and kicked for about half an hour while i lay down on the bed next to her, supposedly to show her how this sleeping business is done. Eventually she slowed down, and then, before my very unbelieving eyes, she lay down and shut your eyes.
I still have to help her a bit with some patting and shooshing but i am slowly trying to do less of that too. Twice this week i heard her get up, whimper and go back to sleep by herself. but it's far from sleeping through of course. she still has some bad nights and on a good night will still wake at least twice, but at least now i have hope.
before this i was a complete rollercoaster of an emotional wreck, one day i'll say, sod it, i'm going to let her cry it out, next night i will be in floods of tears on the floor because i know i can't leave her to cry but yet i am too tired to keep going) her sleep became the central focus of my whole life.
i am happy that i decided not to listen to the experts who told me to let her cry it out alone, (she still cried, but i was there with her) and she did not let me down. i am impatient for her to sort this out, but i know i will have to let her take her time. she is a very very strong willed baby and if i did the controlled crying method i know she will win iinthe end because she can cry longer than i can bear to hear it. if your babies are similar please take heart... i believe they will get there, in their own time.