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Original poster

No Cry Sleep Solution - slowly but surely....

255 replies

chIRIStmasfairybigpants · 15/12/2006 12:06

Shiny new thread (saw your post Bikebug

Not been on for a while as we've been a house full of colds and having new heating installed (the warmth is bliss) so DS has been sleeping in with me again as he couldn't breathe
Progress has still been made though as I've only been bringing him in from about 11ish(because I'm lazy)and he's been waking coughing during the evening but managing to resettle himself quite a lot.

I really think we're getting there (though it maybe his age too )

How's everyone else doing?

OP posts:
AxelF · 27/03/2007 10:58

Hi all, I am new to this thread (although did start a new one before realising there was a whole thread on NCSS). I started keeping our first sleep log last night - and what a night! Reckon we had 4 hours at the most with our 11mth old. I just wondered how long it might be before we see some results. I am only half way through the book (my husband isn't an enthusiastic reader so will have to give him the run down) and all we really want to know is how long will it take and will it really work?

pelvicflawed · 27/03/2007 16:20

Hi we bought the book yesterday as well, sped read and kept our log last night. We're not as bad as you AxelF but were up at least 6 times after taking 1 1/2 hrs to get DS to sleep. Everything was going well with his sleep until a month ago when DS 10mths started nursery/was ill its all gone down hill since then. Would love to know how long it took others to get results as well. Next step is to do our sleep plan (when I've given DH the low down)

AxelF · 27/03/2007 16:40

Hi PF, I will try to do some cramming again tonight too. Thats the other thing though NCSS recommends that you start attempting to change the way baby goes to sleep during nap times and logging these, as they are directly related to night sleep. What do you do about naps at nursery? ask nursery to note the basics like how fell asleep? We do already get a note of times and how long. Hope tonight is better for all of us although I am thankfully on the sofa tonight, it's dh's turn - hooray!

pelvicflawed · 27/03/2007 19:19

Hi AF - one of our big problems is nursery naps on lack of them, despite trying they can't seem to get him to sleep much more than about 40mins (yesterday he managed two naps of around 1hr 10 total - a record). From what I remember from the book this isn't long enough for them to get into a sleep cycle so overtiredness is a big issue. I think my task for tomorrow is to get more detail on the naps, where and how etc. Lets hope for a better night (just to add to the joy I think there is a teething thing going on!!). Good luck (cross fingers)

Piffy · 27/03/2007 22:18

I can't tell you how relieved I feel now I have found this thread! PelvicF and AxelF - my DS is exactly the same, he slept through pretty much until I started back at work, since when my lovely well planned and routined naps have gone out of the window and he averages 2 40 minute naps in nursery, not nearly enough for him!

I'm not sure there is an answer to this one, except that I have discovered that in the next class up (which he will start when he can walk) they have 'nap time' after lunch for ALL the children. And apparently they all do it as it is boring with no one to play with. This is much better than baby class where they go to sleep when they want/when they can in cots in the room. So I am hoping it will get better. Hope springs eternal eh?

At least I know I'm not the only one, why that makes it better I really don't know, but it does!

I can totally sympathise with attachment parenting and would probably be doing co-sleeping a lot more if was not already co-sleeping with two dogs who were here first! I have a bee in my bonnet about HV's advising mums to go against their instincts - after all that's what kept the human species alive for the last million years or so

pelvicflawed · 28/03/2007 06:35

Hi Piffy - hope you had an ok night - we had an ok'ish - only up 4/5 times. The situation with naps is exactly the same at our nursery. DS is a lively chap and there is no way he's going to nap with so much going on in case he misses out on something, even though they have a seperate sleep room with cots/darkned. The only way I get him to nap at home (and he can do it - he's not brilliant but I can usually get him to do at least 1X1.5hr stint + a catnap in the pram) - is if I put him in his room, curtains drawn, no toys, no stimulation and even then it normally takes about 10/15 mins of reassurance and checking to finally get him to conk out. Structured naps probably would work better with him to.

PF hope you had a good/ok/improved? night.

AxelF · 28/03/2007 09:49

Morning PF (welcome piffy). Well dh was on night duty last but there was 3 actual get-ups until 2am when he moved her into our bed (I was already on the sofa as dd hates being touched in bed - can you believe the situation we have got ourselves into!). But then she was squirming about, asleep but disruptive.

We are the same re the nursery, they have the sleep room between the play room and changing area so I doubt they get much rest at all and dd is quite a light sleeper, she gets about the same 40-90minutes nap time - not really enough. i will ask them to keep track and start noting if it is directly realted.

I like the idea of co-sleeping but really would much prefer for dd to sleep in her cot in her room but it means getting up many more times so its the lazy way out. Our other problem is we are due to move out in 2 weeks and will be in between homes for a few mths living with the in-laws - gulp! so not sure if worth struggling to get her to sleep alone as will be with us again in the v near future anyway.

So when do we start making changes anyone got that far?

pelvicflawed · 28/03/2007 11:00

I'm going to get the info on the naps today and then take from there - DH was to tired last night to read the relevant bits from the book so I need to get him doing this before we start as such. Tried a couple of the ideas like the 'lovely' and slowing the bedtime routine right down/calming it and getting him to bed earlier (6.30 pm - up to also now its been 7 but because he was tired last night he started to go into melt down at 6). Carried the lovely (a silky blanket/coth round with me all pm in my bra - felt such a wally when I went to pick him up from nursery and realised it was still there and poking out the top of my t-shirt!!)

AxelF · 28/03/2007 11:17

I did the same, we managed a non manic meal for once and slowed things down. I need to find something to use as a lovey. Our problem is we both work so dont get in till gone 6 so dinner is around 7 then bath time, at the mo bt is 8:00pm. Will try for 7:30 but might have to make her bath a v quick one, (might not be a bad idea though as she normally splashes about and gets quite excited). Does also make me feel a little guilty about the amount of time I spend with her though (as Pantley says). I did'nt manage to read any last night either but will do tonight- still its only day 2 so plenty of time!

sophbod · 28/03/2007 14:17

Hi everyone, it's so nice to hear other people have the same sorts of problems - well not nice for you but you know what I mean. Anyway, said that already I think. I just wanted to add to what Piffy said that I too have had similar advice from my HV (who otherwise is very nice) that I have led my dd to 'expect' to wake and feed and that the only way to break it is CC. As others have said, if you want to try it, that is fine but personally it goes totally against my instincts and I know I couldn't do it. My mum has always kept saying to me to follow my instincts, and I do think she's right, although the other night when dd had been awake for nearly an hour and a half at 2am I was finding it pretty tough! It all seems better in the morning. I do really think that some babies just find sleeping more tricky; all adults have experienced trouble getting back to sleep in the middle of the night - maybe babies just sometimes have the same thing? Who knows. I've not read Dr Sears but sounds like my kind of thing ... BTW, dd's naps are all over the place really, depending on what I'm doing. I guess that might be a factor. Has anyone found putting their little ones to sleep earlier in the evening has helped? DD usually goes down about 8ish.

lindygirl · 28/03/2007 21:48

Hi SophBod, and everyone

We went from having a great 7-4am, one feed, then through to 7am babe to a 'there is no way I'm letting you leave me at all' babe, which hit at 6 months. DD now 9 months, have tried a couple of things such as calming down, bringing bedtime forward a half hour to 6.30 (although, that's now 7.30 isn't it on BST). I have made more of an effort to make sure we're home or somewhere settled (like walking in the sling in a consistent environment, or buggy) for at least one really good nap a day, which yes, it a little restrictive, but she goes to sleep for naps a little easier although she still either has to be nursing or moving! We're working on that too, but not much progress yet.

I really do think the day time sleep is helping with the evening wake-ups. We co-sleep anyway, so the nighttime waking wasn't too disruptive, but losing my evenings was getting me down. And assuming she hasn't got a cold, is teething or we're away somewhere, fingers crossed the evenings have improved. So there is hope!

KatyR · 28/03/2007 22:05

A sleepy hi from me Great to find more no cry people...
Have read whole book, love it, have started doing the hour before bed being quieter and having bath, story, bed. Yet to sort the lovey thing out, dd (18 weeks) just wants to grab my top or her own hands at the moment. Currently our main problem is napping enough in the daytime and having read a bit of others comments this seems fairly common? She doesn't sleep through either by slowly slowly! Am I right in understanding that doing anything to get the naps in the day sorted is advisable to start with? If she does sleep in the day, the night is MUCH better!

AxelF · 29/03/2007 09:47

morning girls, had a terrible night last night. i tried to persever with dd staying her own cot as I can not sleep with her in our bed as she cant be touched etc...so I ended up going to see her 10 times, quite literally everyhour but just for 5 mins, wants her dummy and quick cuddle. We are going to throw a load of dummies in her cot and see if this makes a difference over next couple weeks. Hope so as we are going to be inbetween homes for the next few mths and so I dont want to even try removing her dummy during this time. Still hubby is up for night shift tonight - so I have the lovely quiet sofa all to myself - bliss!. Also dd only had 50minutes nap time yesterday - am so peeved off with nursery they have another new nanny who doesnt look the full ticket - wonderful. Anyone else have problems with nursery staff turnover?

pelvicflawed · 29/03/2007 11:53

We have no idea what we did last night but for the first time in over a month DS slept (well he woke twice - once he needed us and once he settled himself - to us this is acceptable/ a good night - we'd class it as sleeping through). We did nothing very different if anything we wern't as careful about keeping the evening routine really quiet as the grandparents are visiting. The strange thing today is he's exhausted still by 10am he was desperate for sleep (we were in the supermarket) as soon as we got home at 11am I put him down and he went out like a light - he'd never do that at nursery so early in the day!!!. We're not counting our chickens yet - may be just a fluke. I'm sure there is an elemnt of him getting overtired - the last reasonable night we had with him about a week ago (three night wakings that needed us) was after a day at home when he had a good 1 1/2hr nap after lunch. We'll see what tonight brings.

Af with the dummies we've knoted a short bit of muslin to one of them - it seems to make it less easy for it to get chucked out of the cot - might be of some help - though we still take quite a few spares up with us!!

AxelF · 29/03/2007 12:54

I'm really pleased for you PF and hope it lasts. Thanks for the muslin/dummy idea and will defo try that tonight.

I am home with dd on fridays so will try and get some control of the naps over the weekend atleast and see if that makes a difference. Everytime I have to get up though she only needs me to find her dummy and have 5 mins of cuds or hair stroking and then she is off again - is this the same for anyone else?.

Also in NCSS Pantley has 6 phases of getting baby use to changes in the way they go to sleep. I think my dd is already a few stages down as can stroke hair back to sleep (sometimes), do you think we need to start from phase 1 and use the music etc?

sashasmama · 02/04/2007 03:22

hi there

i hope i am not jinxing it by telling you this but i think you all should be the ones i tell:

after one year and about three weeks,

finally, last night she almost slept thru!!!! i heard her cry out at about 3.45 - by the time i got to her room she had gone back to sleep by herself. she woke again at 5.20 and after a feed and about 45 mins of shushing she went back to sleep till seven which is a record breaking feat as she (a) never used to go back to sleep if she woke after 5am and (b) used to wake no later than 6 no matter what...

she opened her eyes at 7, saw us watching her, giggled and started to clap her hands...

what an absolutely precious moment!

i am not holding my breath for her to do this again tonight but at least now i know she CAN do it!

sashasmama · 02/04/2007 03:30

i thought i needed to share my experience with the dummy. I know it works well for a lot of babies but it seemed to make things even worse for me.

She became so addicted to the damn thing that it came to a point where she would have nothing else but that, she refused to be cuddled, rocked or shushed back to sleep. The problem was that she would be quiet when she had it in her mouth, but she would fall asleep and it would drop out,. because shhe became used to having something in her mouth, everytime she stirred a little she would automatically start sucking - and cry because the dummy wasn't there. from waking up 3 or 4 times it became 7 or 8 times... she also didn't know how to put the thing back in her mouth by herself...

feeling a bit redundnat i decided to stop the dummy use. it took about a week of 'forced' cuddling and a lot of protesting but she eventually forgot about it. that was when she was about 9/10 months. slowly her sleep improved and now at 12+ months she gets up once or twice...

AxelF · 02/04/2007 09:53

Hi Sasha, thanks for this its actually exactly what I think we are going through at the moment and we have decided to go down the same road and break her dummy attachment. Our dd gets up regularly 5-10 times a night only for her dummy as soon as its back in her mouth she goes back to sleep. So....tonight we are going to try the NCSS way and start removing as she goes to sleep. Did you go cold turkey?

AxelF · 02/04/2007 09:54

sorry just realised sashas momma not sasha!

Swizzler · 02/04/2007 21:05

Haven't posted on this thread for ages - have been trying a few bits from NCSS to get DS (6 months) to sleep but need to buckle down to it! Nap times are a bugbear for us - he'll sleep in the pushchair if we keep moving, or in the sling, but the only reliable way of getting him to sleep for more than an hour is to feed him to sleep in bed and nap with him. Not convenient when I'm back at work next week! So DH and are are going to sort the daytime and naptime routine - have given him the book to read - and await results.

I have been following the bedtime routine advce for a while and it DOES work. DS now goed to sleep within the hour and stay asleep for at least a couple of hours (for him, this is good). Just wanted to reassure those starting out

sashasmama · 03/04/2007 02:29

hi again
after a night of sleeping thru for the first time ever, she woke up 3 times again last night... but she actually went back to sleep agian when she woke at 5.30 which was a miracle and a half so i think we are getting there...

hi axelf, yes i did a bit of the pull on / off thing for the first cople of nights then it was wearing em down so i ditched it after the third night and just held her while she screamed, eventually after about half a hour of on-off screaming she fell asleep. this half hour eventually reduced bit by bit... good luck!

sashasmama · 05/04/2007 02:27

A haha! After a few nights of almost sleeping through, yesterday night was AWFUL again! woke up 6 times... once staying up for an hour... pfffffffft.

sophbod · 07/04/2007 22:27

Just got back from a week's holiday which was lovely except that dd has a nasty cough and had to go on antibiotics; sleep was NOT good! So waiting till cough better before trying to get back to some sort of routine (sigh). Waking anything from 3 to 6-7 times ... dummy is a bit of a problem but can't face trying to get her to sleep without it! She has been having longer naps since she was ill but I can't say it made the nights much better - perhaps cos of the illness. Hope people are having better luck. Must try the lovey thing.

danceswithbaby · 05/05/2007 14:30

Hellooooo???? Anyone there?

I just wanted to boast about my babe who is starting to put herself to sleep naturally. I've always let her b/f to sleep, or use motion (i.e pushchair) and always co-slept. Yes, I've had moments of self-doubt when told that she'll never learn to settle herself, giving unhealthy sleep associations etc etc. BOLLOCKS!!

I take her to bed and lie down with her, she snuffles about, chats a bit, pats me lovingly and says 'mama', then she closes her eyes and goes to sleep!! And I go downstairs and cuddle DH

It's quite a new development, it happened quite naturally and NOT A SINGLE TEAR. She goes to sleep with a smile on her face. Yes, she still wakes, but her sleep stretches are getting longer (around 4 hrs, but not always). Sometimes she suckles and sometimes just needs to know I'm there.

Feeling positive! Anyone else?....

danceswithbaby · 10/05/2007 09:51

Hmmm... I always suspected I'd be left all alone on this thread, talking to myself

Just to wrap it up on a positive note, my dd slept for 6.5 hours last night!! Asleep at 7.30, woke at 8, then again at 10, then nothing until 4.30am. Quick feed and back down until 6.

I don't care if no-one else is reading this, I feel great posting it