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Original poster

DH is doing CC...

191 replies

CoodleMoodle · 23/05/2015 19:52

Or a version of it, anyway. I don't quite know what he's doing.

We're on our knees with DD and her almost 15 months of crap sleep - last night up every hour near enough, including an hour where I had to rock her back to sleep in the chair. DH is up there now, trying CC because I'm just not strong enough.

I've rocked her to sleep nearly every night since she was tiny, and right now she's in her cot, moaning and shouting, likely wondering where her Mum is and what the hell is going on. She was singing but now she's just crying, getting more and more worked up, and I don't know what's going to happen.

Sometimes she'll settle with shh/pat if she wakes in the night but she's never done it to actually fall asleep, and I just can't see it happening now. She's slept through the night a few times but for three months solid we've had absolutely horrific sleep, and it just has to stop before we collapse.

Her eating is crap (pretty much nonexistent, today) and her sleeping is worse. She's still in our room because having to get out of bed 20 times per night was bad enough, traipsing across the hall was torture. We did that for three nights at the start of the year until I cracked and brought her back in. I know this was stupid but I was struggling so much. She can be so happy but she's so tired and grumpy and so are we.

I want DH to succeed, but I'm not feeling positive. I should turn the monitor off and not listen but I can't help it.

I want to go up there and just rock her to sleep like I always do. Tonight is going to be so awful, and I'm just so bloody tired.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 18:32

She went to sleep 30mins 'late', and did 90 in the end. Not bad, but it was traumatic at the time! Just hoping tonight will be a bit easier. She's tired from having a shorter nap, so that might help, or equally make it worse.

I'm not giving up, I'm not going to do that to her. Unless it gets to a ridiculous period of time without improvement (months, I mean), then we're sticking with it. I just feel like giving up when it's hard, and that's usually when she nods off!

So grateful for the support here Thanks

OP posts:
Ubik1 · 26/05/2015 18:34

I never did CC for naps. I just went out with the buggy and they napped there. I found it too emotionally exhausting to do it during the day.

Why not just do it at bed time?

IHeartKingThistle · 26/05/2015 18:50

Well done coodle!

Needsweets did the Grin and the Blush not give you a clue? Don't tell me we have to put LIGHTHEARTED on our posts now too!

I do know there's no winners in parenting. Perhaps I've just read too many threads where I've been told I'm cruel and I've damaged my children. Really don't want to derail the lovely support OP is getting so I'll bugger off now Smile

(That one wasn't even PA, I promise Grin )

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 18:57

Ubik, DD won't sleep in the buggy or car seat, hasn't since about five months. When she's awake, she's awake! If she would then that's what I'd be doing.

OP posts:
Needsweetstosurvive · 26/05/2015 19:04

Then I apologise, I guess I have read too many threads where people are putting others down! Also that and I'm never great at deciphering the meaning of posts beyond the words, emoticons mean nothing to me! You are one of the supporters so don't bugger off on my account. Coodle, good luck for tonight, you are doing well to stick to your plan, that way DD will know where she stands.

IHeartKingThistle · 26/05/2015 19:11

Thanks needsweets. I was being an idiot to be fair!

Ubik1 · 26/05/2015 19:28

You seem to be making progress anywY Smile

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 19:30

Bedtime! Currently in cot, cried before she even went near it but calmed as I sang her song. Now thrashing and screaming.

We can do this.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 19:48

She's very, very angry. She does have quiet periods where she's rubbing her face on her muslin (she does that during the day and sleeps with it near her face), but then straight back to angry. I can almost cope with angry, it's sobbing I can't deal with.

She's yawning, though, which I guess is a good sign...

OP posts:
fortunately · 26/05/2015 19:58

You can do it! ThanksThanks

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 20:03

Half an hour gone and she's still furious. The periods of quiet are getting longer, and the shouting shorter. I'm still shushing her at regular intervals, I just hope that's the right thing to do. Not talking or touching, just standing at the bottom of the cot shushing.

She stopped crying for a good couple of minutes then but started again all of a sudden. And again.

This has to work or I really don't know what else we can do. I'm broken by all of this.

OP posts:
fortunately · 26/05/2015 20:05

It'll work.

She knows you're there, she's not shouting because she needs anything, she's just going to have to get used to the routine, which is for her benefit in the long run.

Stay strong x

SweepTheHalls · 26/05/2015 20:07

Keep the faith Cookle, the took, 4 nights to teach each of my DS's to self settle, but it is so worth it for the whole family Flowers

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 26/05/2015 20:17

She's gone, I think it was about 8, so just over half an hour. Now let's see what the night brings...

And she was sobbing, I struggle with the sobbing Sad Screaming and whinging I can just about deal with!

OP posts:
RightSideOfWrong · 26/05/2015 20:21

She's okay. She's learning and it's hard but she's getting it. Half an hour is really good! She's picking this up at lightening speed. You might have a little genius on your hands :)

She's got her muslin and she knows that you are there. She can hear you.

You're doing a stellar job. Honestly. You can do this, and so can she. Just think about those wonderful easy bedtimes once you've got this cracked.

fortunately · 27/05/2015 06:39

How was it, Coodle?

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 27/05/2015 07:38

Not bad at all! Woke once just before 2am but back to sleep with some shushing (also gave her back her muslin which she'd lost). Up a bit early this morning but nothing terrible and probably because of her shorter nap (she only did 90ish minutes).

That's the next thing to contend with, but I'm feeling positive that it'll be better than yesterday. DH is doing bedtime tonight.

And after a few nights of half decent sleep, I'm almost feeling human again!

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RainbowInACloud · 27/05/2015 08:29

Well done! You are clearly making good progress.
As an aside does anyone know when you can start this kind of sleep training? DS is 8 months and wakes every 2-3 hours in the night and up at 5.30 but I wondered if he was a bit too young?
How did you know your DD was ready? Or was it just a breaking point thing?

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 27/05/2015 11:25

Thank you Rainbow. Currently trying for her nap - DH is at a job interview so I'm doing this alone for the first time! Think it's going okay, she's certainly less angry.

In terms of age, for us it was breaking point! She's nearly 15m. I'm not sure I could've done any sort of sleep training at 8m, but then I didn't want to do sleep training at all until the other day!

OP posts:
MmeMorrible · 27/05/2015 16:31

How did the nap go Coddle? Definitely sounds like you are making progress and great that you are feeling better after some decent sleep.

Keep going you can do this!

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 27/05/2015 17:12

It went very well Grin She was asleep before 11:30, which is excellent. About four minutes in total, and more whinging than screaming.

DH is on bedtime duty tonight, the "goal" is asleep before 8, but it doesn't really matter if not. She's definitely getting there.

I'm so glad we did this. I'm still exhausted but it's getting better.

OP posts:
StepfauxWife · 27/05/2015 19:04

All sounds like it is going in the right direction! It is exhausting - the mental anguish is draining. Fingers crossed for a decent night tonight.

Original poster
CoodleMoodle · 27/05/2015 20:00

Asleep at 7:45, approx 15mins! So very proud of her (and DH)!

OP posts:
fortunately · 27/05/2015 20:01

GrinGrin Well done!

QueefOfTheDamned · 27/05/2015 20:07

Brilliant! Well done mini Coodle Smile