DH is doing CC...

[CoodleMoodle]

Or a version of it, anyway. I don't quite know what he's doing.

We're on our knees with DD and her almost 15 months of crap sleep - last night up every hour near enough, including an hour where I had to rock her back to sleep in the chair. DH is up there now, trying CC because I'm just not strong enough.

I've rocked her to sleep nearly every night since she was tiny, and right now she's in her cot, moaning and shouting, likely wondering where her Mum is and what the hell is going on. She was singing but now she's just crying, getting more and more worked up, and I don't know what's going to happen.

Sometimes she'll settle with shh/pat if she wakes in the night but she's never done it to actually fall asleep, and I just can't see it happening now. She's slept through the night a few times but for three months solid we've had absolutely horrific sleep, and it just has to stop before we collapse.

Her eating is crap (pretty much nonexistent, today) and her sleeping is worse. She's still in our room because having to get out of bed 20 times per night was bad enough, traipsing across the hall was torture. We did that for three nights at the start of the year until I cracked and brought her back in. I know this was stupid but I was struggling so much. She can be so happy but she's so tired and grumpy and so are we.

I want DH to succeed, but I'm not feeling positive. I should turn the monitor off and not listen but I can't help it.

I want to go up there and just rock her to sleep like I always do. Tonight is going to be so awful, and I'm just so bloody tired.

Rooty, we tried going in when she got upset as you describe a few months ago, and it just seemed to make her angrier about it. Maybe now she's a bit older it might work.

She's been silent for a few minutes, will wait a bit longer and check. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed. We have a tiny house so I'm in her room in three paces if necessary!

I don't know whether I did cc or not tbh, I just did what I thought was right. I agree, there's no point leaving a hysterical child in the room just to go out, count to 120 and go back in again. I wouldn't leave until they were calmish.

Then head back in if they get to earnest yelling, and not one second before

Honestly don't go back in if she's quiet. It will just disturb her.

She's not going to have choked to death in three minutes, and if the was a problem she'd be yelling her head off. She might just be lying quietly and if so you don't want to be disturbing her.

That's what I've been doing, fortunately, but if she's crying rather than out and out screaming I've stuck to waiting for the time to be up. She's been quiet for ten minutes, now.

One way or the other, she'll get there!

Crossed fingers then. Ten minutes is a decent interval

I left my tablet with the white noise just by the door, so I didn't go in to turn it off, just reached in and stopped it. She's just done her sigh that she does in her sleep, so I'm positive.

Slightly more concerned that we're doing the right thing now as it was much harder tonight. Although I suppose that's because last night DH was doing it, so it was easier on me.

But, an hour after bedtime, she's asleep.

I think it's totally fair enough to try the timed reassurance Coodle, just if she starts crying for longer and longer periods, and it's more sustained, be aware that that might be how she's understanding things. It's a tough one, I know.

Well that's a win in my book Coodle. I think it's natural to have a slight slippage a couple of days in. They know what to expect at this point and probably aren't very chuffed about it. Within another couple of days it'll be second nature and she'll realise there's no point fighting the inevitable.

Well done though, pour yourself a

Sorry cross posts. In your shoes I would carry on - there are lots of variants of sleep training, I did a different one, but I think whatever you choose, consistency is the kindest thing iyswim.

And you're right imo to get her to sleep through the night. She'll enjoy the days so much more for it (and you and DH will be better parents).

She managed 45mins and is now screaming.

I'm sitting on the floor in her room, shushing when she wakes but silent otherwise. I have no idea if I'm doing the right thing.

Sorry, shushing when she screams.

Oh

Can you do shifts with DH?

I would the same as you. Good luck.

We're going to take it in turns like normal if she has a bad night. Off to bed now actually, just in case.

Not a peep since I posted last, so she's got through a 45min cycle at least! That's always a good sign.

I'm sure I read somewhere that sometimes with cc it can appear to get worse before it gets better with some children. Like most parenting decisions though, consistency is definitely key. You have to pick a method and stick with it, unless it gets to the point where you've been doing it for longer than a week and it obviously isn't working.

Sounds like that might be the case here, spud!

Up again, sitting on her floor. She's quiet now but we're going to have one grumpy baby in the morning! But we'll stick it out for a week at least and go from there.

Hi op. How is the baby today? Grumpy as predicted?

She's okay so far! If she's going to be grumpy it'll be just before her nap at 11:30.

I only got up that one time, she did cry in the night but stopped by herself after a few seconds, so quite similar to what I would've called a 'good' night before we started doing this, except I didn't put my hand on her when I went in. Up at 7:30ish, so very acceptable

Not giving up with this, it's going to get better.

Sleep deprevation is bloody torture you your husband and your baby need sleep i sleep trained dd i did what is now cc and then i did the retreating in the end i just sitting at the bottom of her cot and shushed if she whinged no conversation or fussing she is 22 now and no emotional damage .

Naptime is not going well. She just won't settle at all and now she's going to have a short nap (if she has one at all) and be hideous for the rest of the day and night

I want to give up. I'm not feeling as positive as I did yesterday or the day before. I'm not going to give up but I really, really want to. Knew it wouldn't be as simple as it seemed on that first night.

Stick with it Coodle. You have my every sympathy, your DD sounds just like mine. We've improved the situation massively with CC in the last month or so and now she sleeps through (well, until 5.30) most nights, with the odd wobble here & there. She's 18 months.
Oh, and the whole co-sleeping thing? She's still bf'ing so we have tried & tried & tried to co-sleep but she just will not sleep in the same bed as us. She just cries and pulls my hair and tosses & turns....it's worse by miles. Sometimes CC is the best solution.

If it's not feeling like the right thing for you or her you can change your mind.... Although I'm not sure where you go from here?

Don't give up now - you're nearly there. Look at the progress you have made. Literally, write down how she was the night before you decided to do this, then write down how she was yesterday. She needs to learn to sleep and she is learning. Stick with it, it's only been two night. People often reckon four nights to crack it.

Well that was helpful Psippsina. A nice little disapproving post followed by the news that you're going to hide the thread so that you'll not be reading any posts telling you what a pointless load of crap you posted.

Coddle, I can't tell you what to do. I can only tell you that one of my DC screamed every hour until nearly a year and a half until I felt I had two choices, letting my child cry it out or walking out on my kids. It took three nights, each night with less screaming.

Does that child remember that I let him scream? No. Does he hate me? No. Is he mentally scarred because of my choice? No.

Don't let the doom-mongers and naysayers upset you.

Coodle you're doing amazingly - don't give up! CC is NOT cruel but don't make her go through it for nothing - she will crack it!

(Is it wrong of me that I LOVE the fact that the sleep - trainers kicked the asses of the co - sleepers on this thread? They always win!)

Iheartkingthistke, there are no winners or losers in parenting, just different styles. It is not a game, or a competition and everyone offers valid opinions/support on this thread. Everyone who has pushed controlled crying have done it themselves, so of course they think it's a good idea. I am not a hardcore sleep trainer parent, or a co-sleeper but I find your post quite derogatory.