So sick of being so angry all the time because I'm so fucking tired

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

2yo DD is a shit sleeper. I never know what the night will bring but guarantee at some point to at least be mutterin under my breath all kinds Of obscenities and every single fucking morning I spend the first 2hours trying to get my sleep deprivation induced rage under control.

I am turning into a horrible mother seriously regretting having Children at all because I'm so fucking tired. She's bloody awesome during the day, cute and funny and clever and hilarious and wonderful to have around, she doesn't even tantrum that much even though she's got a strong will - but I m actively starting to hate her at night

DSsleot through from 8months and at 5 is still a good sleeper - why the fuck won't DD be the same?!

and

Honestly, truly, it gets better.
I now count good nights as 5 hrs continuous sleep. 2-3 hrs used to be a good night (he's now 4).
The 5am up for the days have finished. It was 6.45 one blissful morning over christmas.
keep going, grab what you can, and one day you'll realise what those extra minutes can do for you.

Who asked about lie-ins? Well, technically, I get one every weekend, but that involves hearing the kids get up, poking DH awake, telling him he needs to get up, and then dropping back off. His lie-ins means he sleeps from when ever he comes to bed til about 10am. NOT FAIR. I resent his "sleep through the kids waking lie-ins"

I feel your pain. 2 years, 3 months of my second "bad sleeper" so far...

DS (4.4) has only just started sleeping through more often than not. We still have nights where he'll be up several times, and he sometimes sleepwalks too.

DD1 has always been an angel. DD2 can sleep for England once she drops off.

DS completed our family and made me question my sanity!

Betty!!! I had pneumonia when 18 weeks preg and spent a glorious week in hospital.
I actually frequently reminisce about how wonderful that week was. Feet up, meals brought to me, my own little tv, early nights, a spot of reading. It has to be balanced between the episodes of hacking my guts up, but life's all about compromise eh

Should have said it was when I was pregnant with DC2 so i was properly 'off work'

here too. 2.5 year old - up for 3 hours last night asking to get up and have her breakfast. every single night this is starting. in fact, it never stopped, she has always been a bad sleeper its just changing now that she thinks 2 - 3am is time to get up. i actually think i am going to lose all motivation to achieve any of my life goals because i am just so utterly shattered all the time.

Christ it's horrible. You have my sympathy. Touch wood our dc seem to have passed through that phase but I well remember it. Night after night after bloody night. Even if they were quiet I still couldn't get to sleep because I was just waiting for one of them to get up.

I'm sure I aged (in looks) dramatically in the space of a few years through sheer exhaustion.

I have not been there to the same extent, my bad sleeper used to come in and ask if it was time to get up about 3 times per night that was bad enough.

I just want to send empathy and do whatever makes your life easiest - co-sleep with your 5 year old if it means you get more sleep!!!!

Thank you so much for starting this thread. I feel so much better knowing it's not just me.

So - we had DD who didn't sleep more than 4 hours in a row until 15 months and now have DS, who at 11 weeks and EBF means I haven't had more than 3 hours in a row since he was born. Goodness knows how my body is meant to heal post emergency c-section on that. The irony is that DD is now the only one getting a full night's sleep - so she's all cheery first thing and I am like death. A good night for me is now a block of three hours and then maybe a block of two hours. It's soul destroying.

What I also hate is when I have the chance to catch up with sleep at the weekends when DH is around, he gets to do fun stuff as he's less tired than me and hence has the energy. I hate the fact that the choice is between nice family of four activities or extra sleep, without which I'll go stark raving mad!

And yy to DHs who complain. Well fuck the fuck off! Yes, you may have been slightly disturbed as I breastfed - but you were able to turn over and go right back to sleep. I had to stay up, feed, burp him and then hope he'd settle in his cot before having that chance. So don't tell me you're tired! You don't know the meaning of the word.

I have actually told (yelled at) DH that he should grow breasts and try breastfeeding through the night at times when I've been super pissed off... usually when in his clumsy way he's tried to commiserate but actually all he's done is made me feel worse.

Ah, that feels better!

I had a really bad sleeper. I spent the forst 2.5 years of DS's life in a continual achey daze of exhaustion. Then at 2.5 he suddenly slept through and became a fabulous sleeper. There is hope but it is horrible when you're going through it.

Someone at my baby group said to me the other day "I've had a little taste of your life, Summer. LittlePerfectAngelBaby has been terrible over Christmas. He's been waking me up once, sometimes twice, a night. "

Fuck the fuckity off, love, and try every half an hour all night.

I regularly find myself fantasizing about the doctor diagnosing me with "exhaustion" and offering to ring my DH to tell him I need to go to bed for a week! I got up every fucking morning at 5am with DD2 over the Xmas hols, as I do every morning even though we both work FT, DH slept until DD1 woke at 7 and had the nerve to tell me he that he's so tired because he hasn't had a lie in over the holidays! (makes throttling gesture behind his back)

Is it bad that I sometimes bring DD into our bed even when I know it won't resettle her just so DH can get a taste of the medicine?!

He's actually being pretty supportive at the mo but it makes my heart sink seeing him be all fun and jolly with the children while I just snap and snarl and don't play. They must think in such a bitch

I've now had a childless friend berate me for not knowing how lucky I am for having children in the first place. Great. Now I have a whole shit ton more guilt crapped on top of me!

Oh can I join in.
3DC, each one worst than the previous at sleeping. DC2 very nearly broke me, surely I was due a good sleeper? Oh no, DC3 is nearly 4yrs and has now 3 'staying in my bed all night' stickers in the last six months. And on two of those I was working night shifts so no sleep

I have recently been trying to explain why my CV hasn't got much extra stuff on it in the last few years. Well actually, I feel like I need a medal for surviving and managing in a difficult job and at home without bitting someone's head off! And my DH moans when he has stayed up late watching the bloody ashes and thinks its the same and wants a lie in. Arghh!

3DC here and all have been bad sleepers. DD1 was 4 before she slept through and by that time I had DD2 who was 5 before she slept through. Then I had 6 months of unbroken sleep (which was absolute bliss) before having DD3. She's 7 next week and is still up most nights, but at least I can have a lie in on a weekend now she's old enough to entertain herself. DD1 was the worst, I used to get her to sleep by 10pm, then she'd be up again at 12am, then at 2am, then up at 4am for the day. She's 17 now and sleeps all day if she can, she'd still rather be up all night.

Oooh, let me join in the ranting fun.

I do recognise that I don't have at as bad as some but my God it's miserable anyway.

I think the worst thing now is the creeping pessimism, I just don't believe any more that it will get better. DH said (again) this evening "when DD is sleeping better" and I just yelled at him (OK, whispered furiously at him because I didn't want to risk waking DD upstairs) that we can't go on saying 'when she's sleeping better' because she NEVER WILL.

It's just so miserable still having to have this siege mentality 10 months in. Everyone else I know saw the back of that when their babies went from being newborns to older babies. I still go to bed at stupid o'clock just to try and manage, so we haven't had a single evening out in 10 months. Actually, what am I saying - we've not even had an evening IN IYSWIM, we don't so much as watch a TV programe together anymore as I'm dashing to bed the moment I"ve finished eating my dinner (usually a piece of toast cos I'm too tired to bother with anything else)

anyone else have that feeling (as well as the Rage?)

It's getting worse too as she used to at least be relatively quick to get to sleep (just had a problem stayig asleep) and now she's learnt to crawl it's party time in her cot every time I put her down.

I'm seriously giving up on the idea of ever having a sibling for her as I just can't do this again and have no idea how I'd cope if DD stayed as bad as this too. Which is crazy, as you can't make big decisions (leaving DD as an only child her entire life) just because you're not getting any sleep and are fed up with it. But I think I'd have a nervous b/d with 2 of them.

Arrrrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That feels marginally better, thank you for listening :)

My DD is only 10 months but she is gradually getting worse. And worse. In July I remember I said to DH that I felt I'd had a good night if I'd had 2 x 3 hour sleeps or more. Then a few months later I felt like 4 hours was a good night. Last night I had 3 x 1 hr sleeps and felt I'd been lucky :( Cancelled a social engagement an hour away yesterday because I didn't feel I was safe to drive to it. Where will it end...

we don't so much as watch a TV programe together anymore as I'm dashing to bed the moment I"ve finished eating my dinner

Yy. And sometimes we find ourselves debating whether to just skip dinner altogether and go to bed

Oh I am so with you. I have dd3 (13 months) who is a spectacularly shitty sleeper. She's teething and is up at least 4 times in the evening and then feeds and howls all night. I am exhausted, snappy and everything is just too hard. She's better than dd2, who screamed all night with reflux for 2 years, but that's not saying much. Dd1 was a crappy sleeper too, so all in all I've been sleep deprived for over 6 years.

It sucks. I always think I should go to bed earlier but I just desperately crave some down time after the kids are asleep. Dds 1 and 2 sleep fairly well now unless they have nightmares or are ill, so I'm hoping I'll get some sleep in about... 2 years. Sigh.

Can I join? I want to fucking kill the people that said because I had a shit pregnancy I'll have a good sleeper. Ha fucking ha. Sometimes I'll be lured into a false sense of security where she'll only get up once... And then it all falls apart again. I think the worst thing is that I just cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel it feels like it's going to be forever and I don't know how much more I can take...

God I am so pleased to have found this thread.

I have 2 year old DD who wakes screaming anything up to 4/5 times a night. And a 16 week old DS, who has just gone to sleep now after me trying to put him down since his bath at 7. Last night he
was up 4 times. And that is a good night.

I am full of rage and tears and I am a shit mother to both of them through the day. Especially DD who I have no patience or energy to play with.

I feel all your pain. And I can't believe how the thought of 3 hours of unbroken sleep now feels like an impossible dream. I love my DCs more than anything but they have ruined me by taking away my sleep.

After 3 years of it, I'm past rage, and at utter resignation. DS3 does have to be up once a night, every night, for his NEOCATE feed. (Nutritionally complete milk replacement due to allergies.)

ONCE, once, not four or five fucking times each night.

I'm tired. And due to my joint pain, I'm awake for an hour each time after, so I barely fall asleep and I'm awake again. Three years.

I could still, your post about that being utter horse shit made me SNORT like a horse!

Another thank you so much for starting this thread. It helps knowing it's not just me. I've been to him three times while typing this post.