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The dreaded SLEEP REGRESSION support and solidarity thread!

999 replies

Tiredemma · 03/01/2014 09:37

Here we are. Sleep deprived, emotional and craving all things sugary just to survive the day.

bah.

OP posts:
abby81 · 08/01/2014 19:57

Hello, may I join? I did write a lengthy thread but kindly cakebaby directed me here (thanks cakebaby).

Well I could cry, I have just rocked and jiggled 4mo dd to sleep and listened to her crying for comfort boob rather than hunger. This is the first night I refused to give in but I am sitting here wondering why I did it because it made me feel so bad, angry and now upset. We have had a bit of a mare since xmas on the sleep front (as are we all it seems, if interested see thread - 4mo sleep weirdness) plus this is the first week 1/2 I am trying a night time routine, plus she is four months old which seems to be key. I say I because dd has been screaming blue murder if dh tries to put her to bed. Also since xmas. At the weekend he can put her down during the day but just not at bedtime!! So for the moment I am doing the night time routine to see if I can stop the boob/sleep association, with the hope that one day she will let him do bed time!

Dd has become a 4/5 times a nighter since xmas and I am finding it near on impossible to tell whether she is hungry or not until she is actually on the boob and falling asleep. I don't think I could stand the screaming at 3 in the morning either. Surely its ok to comfort them then????

Oh crikey, am I doing anything right!?!?!!?

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 20:02

abbie81 yr doing great! Have same dilemma...do i feed back to sleep? Is it comfort or hunger? But all ive read on sleep regression says comfort, cuddle and manage best you can! I figure if yr bf you cant over feed...she just wouldnt take boob!

cakebaby · 08/01/2014 20:05

Hello Jr hope your LO is OK now, how terribly worrying for you.

The good news is I didn't have to kill dh, ds woke up after an hour which isn't bad I suppose. An hour later he was tired again so another nap but he yelled and yelled when put in cot so we co napped for 90 blissful mins. Thing is, he is napping loads more (wrecking my 'social' life haha ) but is RIDICULOUSLY tired still. He was in bed asleep by 630 tonight. He's going to be up for the day at 5 isn't he?

I've just frightened the shit out of myself reading the angry ragey tired thread Shock

Gerty1002 · 08/01/2014 20:14

JRmumma I am in a similar situation, Ds was in hospital almost two weeks just before Christmas and that's when his sleep went all to pot. At first he was in a high dependency unit being cared for by nurses 24/7. The nurses simply fed him as soon as.he stirred, when often he justs needs his dummy popped back in! That plus monitoring every few hours just sent him loopy sleepwise. He seems to be settling now thankfully but still needs fed in the night due to his medication.

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 20:15

abby just read yr thread. Stick with routine. It took my dd a few days & even now it can take us a whike

cakebaby im intrigued...off to read thread

abby81 · 08/01/2014 20:25

Thanks for support! She just woke up screaming and I startes crying too. I fed her and she actually seemes quite hungry, add guilt to the list of emotions I am feeling right now!!!!!! I think I am just going to feed to sleep for the moment and stick with the routine. Then when routine is actually a routine and not so new, then I can maybe alter the order so its not boob equals sleep.

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 20:29

Good plan! abby we're not even asleep yet...been going since 7pm sigh

Just rad that thread cakebaby. Stopped at third post. Too scary for me!

robbo76 · 08/01/2014 20:32

abby81 I have only recently managed to settle my DS without bf. started putting him down for naps in the am & pm with use of light/lullaby toy. Works like magic now, he totally focuses on it. I've sussed bedtime routine, he just doesn't blooming sleep right through!

IndigoTea · 08/01/2014 20:36

Hi all!

May I join in? DS is 7 months and awakes every hour at night! I've got no idea why and has been doing so for a couple of months now Hmm I'm shattered and exhausted naturally. It's good to get some support on here.

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 20:37

ARRGH!!!!!!!!!
3rd time I got her to sleep
3rd time she startled awake as I put her in crib.
Fucks sake :(
Im going to end up putting her next to me in bed.
Dont want to do that...want her to fall asleep initially in crib so used to it when we stop co-sleeping. THIS is how bad habits start. Boo.

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 20:41

robbo where does your dc nap? Crib? Also how did you teach to self settle for naps did it take long? Thats what im trying to do now.

cakebaby · 08/01/2014 20:42

Hi Abby glad you joined us! Same situation here, along with cindy . Feeding to sleep again after illness, its so hard to stop it! I can't beat ds crying his little heart out & not understanding why he's not getting boob when he needs the comfort. How long does your dd cry for before nodding off? I couldn't stand it so gave in after 40 mins lying next to him shushing and bloody patting.

cakebaby · 08/01/2014 20:42

Beat=bear grrrrrr

robbo76 · 08/01/2014 20:46

cindyrella I settle him in his cot for naps, have had conflicting advice about doing this but going with it. He kind of got the idea after a few days. Basically just persisted with it. He used to be bad for cat napping, like 4x half hr naps during the day, only recently I've managed to get an hour in the am and almost 2 after lunch.

abby81 · 08/01/2014 20:47

Aaah well cakebaby I joggled, rocked and swayed and I reckon it was 30 mins at least.....then she woke up after 10 mins!

cakebaby · 08/01/2014 20:51

Hi indigo every hour? Shudder, ds did that for a bit, god help me when if he does it again. Growth spurt? Its my go to explanation for everything!

cindy step away from the ragey thread, it ain't pretty! Deep breaths for bedtime....

robbo purrrleeease tell me how you stopped bf to sleep! It's damned near impossible it seems!

Gerty1002 · 08/01/2014 21:17

I read this today and thought you ladies might enjoy it...

"You shouldnâ??t sleep train at all, before a year, before 6 months, or before 4 months, but if you wait too late, your baby will never be able to sleep without you. College-aged children never need to be nursed, rocked, helped to sleep, so donâ??t worry about any bad habits. Nursing, rocking, singing, swaddling, etc to sleep are all bad habits and should be stopped immediately.

Naps should only be taken in the bed, never in a swing, car seat, stroller, or when worn. Letting them sleep in the car seat or swing will damage their skulls. If your baby has trouble falling asleep in the bed, put them in a swing, car seat, stroller, or wear them. Use the crib only for sleep and keep it free of distractions. If the baby is having trouble adjusting to the crib, have them play in it first. If the baby wakes up at night and wants to play, put fun toys in the crib to distract them.

Put the baby in a nursery, bed in your room, in your bed. Co-sleeping is the best way to get sleep, except that it can kill your baby, so never, ever do it. If your baby doesn't die, you will need to bed-share until college.

Keep the room warm, but not too warm. Swaddle the baby tightly, but not too tightly. Put them on their backs to sleep, but don't let them be on their backs too long or they will be developmentally delayed. Give them a pacifier to reduce SIDS. Be careful about pacifiers because they can cause nursing problems and stop your baby from sleeping soundly. If your baby sleeps too soundly, theyâ??ll die of SIDS.

Donâ??t let your baby sleep too long, except when theyâ??ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. Never wake a sleeping baby. Any baby problem can be solved by putting them to bed earlier, even if they are waking up too early. If your baby wakes up too early, put them to bed later or cut out a nap. Donâ??t let them nap after 5 p.m. Sleep begets sleep, so try to get your child to sleep as much as possible. Put the baby to bed awake but drowsy. Don't wake the baby if it fell asleep while nursing.

You should start a routine and keep track of everything. Donâ??t watch the clock. Put them on a schedule. Scheduling will make your life impossible because they will constantly be thrown off of it and you will become a prisoner in your home.

Using the "Cry It Out" method (CIO) will make them think theyâ??ve been abandoned and will be eaten by a lion shortly. It also causes brain damage. Not getting enough sleep will cause behavior and mental problems, so be sure to put them to sleep by any means necessary, especially CIO, which is the most effective form. CIO is cruel beyond belief and the only thing that truly works because parents are a distraction.

Formula and solid foods will help the baby sleep longer. Solid foods shouldnâ??t be given at night because they might wake the baby. Don't stop the baby from nursing when asleep. Be wary of night feeds. If you respond too quickly with food or comfort, your baby is manipulating you. Babies canâ??t manipulate. Babies older than six months can manipulate.

Sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean when the baby cleans. Donâ??t worry. Stress causes your baby stress and a stressed baby won't sleep."

cindyrella · 08/01/2014 21:26

Hahahahahahaha. So true... I love it. Thanks. Needed a laugh. Particularly at myself.

JRmumma · 08/01/2014 22:58

Thanks cakebaby yes he is fine now.

gerty hope your bubba is ok now too. Yes its the constant prodding in hospital i think that did it. Fortunately DS wasn't in HD unit so we were with him and able to feed him as normal all the time, but he was on his 2 lots of reflux meds plus paracetomol, plus 2 antibiotics, saline nebuliser so all that and obs meant he barely got a couple of hours at night without being woken up for something.

I don't think Xmas and all that has helped either, just prolonged the disturbance in normality.

He didn't go to sleep till 10:45 tonight and is in the pram so we still have to transfer to cot yet. Fingers crossed we can do it without waking him!

Sending sleep vibes out to you all!

Juvenilesuccess · 09/01/2014 00:54

Gerty that is BRILLIANT! I want it on a t-shirt!

Juvenilesuccess · 09/01/2014 00:57

Robbo do you attribute longer naps to cot? Mine

Juvenilesuccess · 09/01/2014 01:08

Abbey I've had same dilemma before re teach them to self settle v. Establishing routine. Like you I concluded you can't do both at once!

Hello indigo Smile. I think I'll go mad if this lasts until 7 months.

Cindy sorry you had a tough time settling tonight.

flopsybunny45 · 09/01/2014 08:13

Oh ladies... I read each of your how many wake ups so wishfully... Dd was awake from 11pm until 4am at which point I was a crying mess and dh took over.
Peadr app today thank god.
If we have 5/6 wake ups I will be a happy bunny!!
It reached the point where I'm reading the miscarriage thread to help me realise how bloody lucky I am to have a wakeful babe! Sad

cakebaby · 09/01/2014 08:15

7 feckin times after midnight, took ages to settle each time. Gave up at 2, co slept, fed every hour. Gahhhhhh! How do you stop co sleeping without tantrums?

Gerty I love that!

abby81 · 09/01/2014 08:27

Oh Flopsy feeling 4 u right now. Good luck with apt today.

After deciding to bf to sleep dd had a good night with only 2 wake ups and then up at 6.30ish. Brilliant, only now she has me foxed. Not interested in feeding, rubbing eyes as if tired. So I thought I would try and put her down for a nap........stupid mummy thats not what she wants!!!! What does she want!!!??? I thought yawning and rubbing eyes meant tiredness!!! I've given up offering both and have got her dressed and shoved her on jungle gym thing whilst I make breakfast.