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Original poster

He has never slept thru the night, help

223 replies

shatteredmumsrus · 19/07/2006 19:13

My 18 month old son has never slept through the night.He goes to sleep on his own even says night night. But hes up around every three hours and always has done. Ive tried everything possible to get him to sleep thru. I even gave him phenegan as recommended by my doctor but that didnt work. Has anyone got any miracle advice. Ill do anything now, im so tired

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jabberwocky · 04/09/2006 13:53

Ds did this too. He is still not a great sleeper, even at 3 but at least he has some nights where he sleeps through. One thing that seemed to make a difference was not giving him anything to drink when he woke up. He was in a bad habit of having milk during his night wakings. Stopping that helped tremendously. Also, does your 18 month old still nap? Ds dropped naps around that time and night sleeping got a bit better.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 04/09/2006 16:34

I am exhausted today. He didnt wake til 3.30, i gave him his 1oz of milk like the psycologist said but he realised straight away that there was hardly anything in it and started crying.He wouldnt settle at all. I was back in his room at 4.10, ended up bringing him in our bed, which I never do and he didnt settle in his cot til 6. Woke up with sore eyes at 7.30!Last night had no routine and no pattern and I cant explain why.Its not normally that bad, so I hope tonight is better.dh started huffing and puffing and just generally not helping the situation in the slightest.What a support eh, ha ha.Now his milk is reduced so much the hard work startes.
Jabberwocky- what happened when you atopped giving drinks in the night. Mine goes balistic and it doesnt get better the longer i leave him?

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jabberwocky · 04/09/2006 19:02

Well, I hate to say that a stomach virus was lucky but it really was. He had diarrhea so we had to stand firm on no milk. IIRC we did give water the first night, but then he started sleeping so well it wasn't an issue after that. He still wakes occasionally, but all I have to do now is rub his back a little (unless it's a full-on nightmare) and he goes back down.

Have you tried adding water to the milk so that he's fooled a bit by the quantity? I've heard that can really help, but dh wasn't a willing participant when I tried it It does help to be on the same page when trying out sleep techniques.

popsycal · 04/09/2006 19:04

not read whole threa djust op

my 18 month old slept through for the first time last night after a long and well documented saga onMN!!!!!!!!!!

it is possible -though it did take a small miracle, stubborness and lots of will power

sleepysooz · 04/09/2006 21:51

popsycal - please enlighten us, I am going nuts! willing to try anything, our twins are nearly 3 and its a nightmare, they have just gone in their rooms for the very first time (well, apart for when we tried it for 6 weeks and got so knackered that we gave up) read further down the thread and you'll note pulling hair out!

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 05/09/2006 16:45

Jabberwocky - I will try that yeah, hadnt heard of that one. Thankyou, im desperate!!
Popsycal - come on tell me more!!!!

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redhen · 05/09/2006 17:40

Not read all of this thread - but feeling relieved that I am not the only mother of a 2 year old who does not sleep through the night. At moment we are trying the "leave him to cry" routine but he can carry on for over an hour at full volume.

What worked with a slightly older child was the sleep fairy - we told him that a fairy would vist in the night to check that he was fast asleep in his own bed and if he stayed there all night she would bring a treat - stickers, pencil etc. Also we let him go to sleep with a story CD - nothing loud or noisy - just something soothing and familiar like Winnie the Pooh. If he wakes in the night and can't get back to sleep he now puts on his own CD and it lulls him back to sleep. Not orthodox I know but it works for us and he is doing really well at school...

popsycal · 05/09/2006 17:42

be back later....
iof you search me on sleep you will see how desperate i have become

short version
mother in law

mellowma · 06/09/2006 16:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 06/09/2006 20:22

Mellowma - glad its getting better for you. As I am typing this I am listening to ds cry over the monitor. I have tried to put him down twice already and we had such a terrible night last night I cant keep my eyes open. I wish he would sleep through more than anything at the moment. It has been going on for so long that I cant see the light or even think straight. Cant wait to go to work tomorrow!!!

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mellowma · 07/09/2006 12:48

Message withdrawn

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 07/09/2006 17:01

Thats it now, I mean business. Last night was the worst night ever. I didnt get 1 minutes sleep. I fell down the stairs at 4am from tiredness. Went to wrok nevertheless and asked for a month off, they were really good about it and said yes.No more milk!!!
Has anyone got any suggestions quick before bedtime. Do I just ignore him all night even tho he is screaming for ages and ages?
Any other methods?

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mellowma · 07/09/2006 21:07

Message withdrawn

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 08/09/2006 08:06

Thanks MM I am feeling relieved that i havent got the pressure of going to work exhausted so thats something.
I have lay next to him but it makes no difference, he kicks off as usual.
Its definately the milk thing.
I could move his cot in to his brothers room but I dont think it will work, he'd wake him up. I have heard it works for others but I just cant see it working. Its milk he wants not company.
He woke at 1am last night and I ignored the screaching til 1.50 and I couldnt take anymore, its LOUD!!!Gave him just 3oz milk and then again at 5.20 so it was better than the night before. Cant get to grips with this CC. I went in to him after 40mins and said sssshhhhh, bed. Tried to lay him down and he just flipped back up screaming and got louder and screamed more when I went out the room.
ANY help out there???

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mellowma · 08/09/2006 14:06

Message withdrawn

annaspanna · 08/09/2006 20:22

I haven't read thro the whole thread but i really feel for you Shatteredmum. Like i said before i have suffered 11-15 night wakings up to 2 hrs maybe more at a time only a few months ago. Milk wasn't as issue so no specific advise there. i just wondered if you'd read the baby whisperer solves all your problems - tracey hogg. Sorry if you have. But the reason i suggest it is CC backfired on me & DS got worse.
She just seemed to know the answer to anything and everything. A mn suggested laying by the cot and it was also a suggestion of Tracey Hogg. As cc didn't work for me it was the only way.

Do you leave DS to cry without going in at regular, greater intervals? The aim is to go in after 5 then 10 then 15 mins etc but to just say night night go to sleep for instance or similar So they know you're there for them but no reward for crying. Hope i don't sound patronising if you know all this. Good luck & hope you crack it soon.

sleepysooz · 08/09/2006 20:58

I have just had a successful week with putting twins in own bedroom, I tend to put a calming cd on and sit on the end of their bed (in turn) and just wait till they go to sleep, I ignore them all the time though!

Good luck anyone out there having problems, I only have to get up 5 times in the night, yes thats an improvement, but to tell you the truth its the dh that keeps me awake with his snoring! [yawn]

Oh well thats another story!

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 11:07

its weird because he soes to sleep as good as gold. He has a bottle of milk, gives everyone a kiss and cuddle and goes to bed with just his toy, nothing else. I tuck him in and say goodnight and off he goes to the land of nod! So he can settle himself, just not after he has woken.

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UmmMusa · 09/09/2006 11:47

Hey all, Nice reading the messages, I have an 11 month old and just thought I'd share some info, maybe it might help! My son used to wake up once through the night and then increased to twice or more, can't remember..nappy brain anyhow I read the baby whisperer and adapted it slowly and alhamdullilah after a few weeks of difficulty..he started sleeping through the night at 3/4 months..it made me life so much better as I was totally losing it b4 then. A quick summary may help those who are suffering like I was..

  1. DO NOT feed when they wake up through the night this ofcourse is after the newborn period not BEFORE. 2.If you have to give something make it water..trust me they won't be to fussed to wake up for that after a while! 3.Just keep reassuring them and putting them back in or holding them for while..if the cries don't stop eventually they will sleep out of exhaustion if nothing else. 4.A couple of daytime naps will help with the night time sleep and will be an easiar way to get them used to the cot then at night. It will be sooooo tempting to give in and give milk but then how long for..thats anybodys guess... Oh yeah btw way I didn't use the cry it out method, just not my thing,just constant reassurance to the baby whilst getting him used to staying in the cot..no rocking,no dummy etc..just patting. And the final result.. a happy and well rested baby and a blissfully sleep fulfilled mama alhamdullilah.
Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 12:59

Thankyou Ummmusa, you make it sound so simple. Its a nightmare at the mo. Gotta do something. My life is on hold because I am a walkiing zombie!
So you reckon that when he wakes at night after 5 or 10 mins of crying go in and reassure, dim light, no talking and all that, then leave. Then after another 15 mins go in and so on, am I right?

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UmmMusa · 09/09/2006 14:28

Hey shattered mum, I really feel for you I remember feeling like that and that getting baby to sleep was all I would eat, sleep, think about!
I would advise not to leave him to cry not even for ten min I tried that and he would just get more upset and what happens is that the cot becomes a place the baby hates as they associate with an upsetting place i.e a place to cry. Wait till he is tired, a good time to be would be after playing etc then slowly get him used to being in the cot. If and when he wakes up, try patting and singing to him while in the cot if crying persists then pick up and wait till he stops crying and is starting to fall asleep(not fully asleep) then put him back. The idea is that basically when he wakes through the night if he fell asleep in the cot he won't be so bewildered but if he fell asleep in the arms then thats where he will want to be when he wakes. I hope Something I've said helps just be persistent and hopefully with a bit of endurance you will succeed..I remember at times wanting to give in..esp when my hubby would try to convince me to give my son my milk as the he had work in the morning but thankfully the hard nights made way into easiar ones and I'm sure things will get easiar for you too.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 18:23

He goes to sleep on his own though. He has a bath, then wind down time, then milk and then says goodnight to everyone, gives them a kiss and i tuck him in with his teddy. He says night night mommy and i leave the room when he is still awake. He just rolls over and falls asleep. That is why it is hard to know why he wont settle himself back when he wakes in the night?

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 18:48

Right this is it, controlled crying starts here and now. Before when I have done this I have been told to completely ignore him, after an hour sometimes he is still screaming.When I have tried to settle him bak down it makes the situation much worse. What shall I do this time, completely ignore or go in after 5 or 10 minutes? Help its nearly bedtime, remember he goes to sleep fine, on his own. Whats the general concencus????

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 19:50

Am I the only one who is waiting in to watch robbie. Well tonight of all nights he is not settling on his own. I have been in and said shhh and put his lullably on and left prompt. I am gonna do it again in ten minutes. Am I on the right track?

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2006 19:52

He went balistic, it was horrible. Dont think I can do it like that? Is is better to just leave him completely and not bother going in. It makesit so much worse going in?

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