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Original poster

He has never slept thru the night, help

223 replies

shatteredmumsrus · 19/07/2006 19:13

My 18 month old son has never slept through the night.He goes to sleep on his own even says night night. But hes up around every three hours and always has done. Ive tried everything possible to get him to sleep thru. I even gave him phenegan as recommended by my doctor but that didnt work. Has anyone got any miracle advice. Ill do anything now, im so tired

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mellowma · 15/08/2006 15:05

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 15/08/2006 15:08

Good for you!!! We know what we've gotta do its just doing it thats so blummin hard. Its in their best interests (Otherwise we are going to throttle them)!Go for it, remember cotton wool and wine, works for me...

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 16/08/2006 08:20

Well Mellowbutfirmma, how did it go??? Didi you manage to ignore and resist giving any water? Mine woke at 3 and 5.20 and had 3.5oz each time....Anyone else got any sound advice or experience?

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mellowma · 16/08/2006 09:35

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kiskidee · 16/08/2006 09:57

was just thinking in the shower as i have read most of this thread this am but not the last few days' worth so bear with me and ignore me if necessary.

could you possibly try slowly eliminating one wakeup at a time? eg. go for the 2 am one. give .5 oz less of milk or water for 3 nights then reduce by another .5 oz. at the same time, be at his cot before he wakes up fully and quickly hand him the beaker, no talking, lights low, no eye contact. continue as before. this will give his tummy time to adjust to less. if it is going successfully say for a couple weeks, try to let dad go in for the last couple oz. this way you get rid of the biological want for milk first and then the psychological want for mum later.

if this works, then go for another waking. i would leave the first waking (say 10.30 ish) for last. as my auntie who has potty trained 3 used to wake up hers just before her bedtime to use the loo.

take all this with a grain of salt as I co-sleep and feed during the night. however, my dd goes thru spells usually after being away on holiday to want more feeds at night and i used this sort of ad-hoc method to get her from feeding all night long.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 16/08/2006 10:46

You did well to ignore that long and now you know that ther is no real reason for the waking. Lucky you for hubby to get up with him. There is no way mine would, that is 'my job'. HUH! You need as much rest as you can with him waking so much and often. He will be so tired today. Sleep deprivation is absolute torture and you are doing really well. forget the bloody ironing, it'l have to wait just like mine is.You know that if you keep going it will work in the end. As Roy Castle said 'dedication, thats what you need'!!! Ha ha. He should be really tired by the time its bed time today. Does anyone else count how many hours it is til bedtime and then realise you have only been up an hour?
Kiskidee - My son used to have on average 2x7oz milk a night and I have gradually reduced this and its now down to 2x3.5oz. The psycologist recommended this method and I have to be patient. I am reducing it by .5oz every 3 nights. I hope it works...

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mellowma · 16/08/2006 10:59

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 16/08/2006 11:03

Ha Ha.Thats fair enough and so they bloody well should anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Off to the park now - AGAIN!!

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mellowma · 17/08/2006 11:34

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 18/08/2006 08:58

Mellowma = That was a major improvement compared to what you told me he was like before. Mine was up three times last night so your winning!!! His tongue is better thanks but he still squirms when he eats, ahhhhh!How was last night?I went out last night for the first time in ages and i have a v bad head today. Just eating beans on toast to soak it up!!!!

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mellowma · 18/08/2006 12:27

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 18/08/2006 16:59

M- Yeah i like routine in my life and theirs. Its higgledy pigglydy at the minute, 3 weeks to go!!! I dont think thats cheating, some people use that as a method of getting them to sleep thru, seems to work. He doesnt get up for MIL cause he knows not to bother as she probably wont come and see him like Mummy. We are our own worst enemies arnt we?

We'v got thunder too, the kids hate it!!!

What a luxury having them both away, my youngest has never stayed away since he has been born, ahhhh! Make the most of it.

Cant email, it isnt working and i havent got a clue why!....

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 19/08/2006 09:05

M - I bet your not even up yet and i dont blame you. Mine woke at 2.30 and 5.30 but hes down to 3oz.
Has anyone tried this method before, id be very interested to hear how it went for you....

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mellowma · 19/08/2006 18:21

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mellowma · 19/08/2006 18:51

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Lychee · 19/08/2006 20:56

Just wanted to thank you all for your postings. I have never posted before but have constantly read the conversations on sleep for support and guidance through my DDs development.

My latest experience...little boring but maybe someone else in same position.. 9mth DD reliant on BF to sleep and recently (last 4 wks, cold and teething) waking through the night crying. Resorted to BF & cuddling for upto 2hrs. Hated myself for allowing this to happen for DD's sake as well as mine. DD now waking upto 4x night and only settling with BF. Much deliberation and reading led to deciding on CC. Have been denying BF all week when DD wakes up and successful 90% of time to get her ready for CC. Attempted to enlist DH's help. Thought I had it but Saturday 4am and only 3 minutes of crying DH snaps and suggests bringing DD into our bed!! Resulting in cross words over breakfast and unable to bring myself to speak to him at mo. Is that childish?? Perhaps but trying to keep my emotions steady for this eve.

Changed tack to PUPD to avoid disturbing DH too much and did not allow DD to fall asleep whilst BF at 7pm. I have spent 1hr15mins PUPD every 30 secs. DD hoisted herself up to either sitting or standing in cot, alternating between crying and grinning and (all credit to her)fake coughing. She's now quiet/asleep in her cot. I found the crying during CC last night heartbreaking. Much less crying tonight with PUPD which is back breaking work ( wasn't picking her up to hold just to get her 2 lie down)but took ages. Am expecting DD to wake up in the night & will continue with PUPD. I plan to keep this up for 2 weeks and fingers crossed I will not be nursing DD in my bed or be stood by her cot cuddling her for upto 2 hrs in the middle of the night.

Good luck Shattered and thanks for posting.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 19/08/2006 21:42

Well done Lychee. No you are NOT childish. Me and my partner have had words about this since my son was born. He will just not get up in the night and help full stop and when he cried partner sleeps downstairs with cotton wool in his ears!!!Unbelievable, he has to go to wotk tho, I only work 2 days. Never the less it still pisses me right off.Id say your doing the right thing just keep it up. I know its hard. Think of the end result. A peaceful nights sleep - heavenly!!!!!
Mellowma - I think its working too but he is whinging a bit more after finishing his bottle so i think the more the milk decreases the more he will whinge - time will tell....

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Lychee · 20/08/2006 10:17

Good morning, last night... woke up at 12.20, took 5 mins to settle. Up @ 4.30 , 30 mins to settle, up at 5.15, 20 mins to settle, up at 6.10, 10 mins to settle. Up at 7 and big morning smile. DD cried but it was tolerable and I'm right by her, PUPD, with a hand on her back and telling her it's sleepy time. Although she woke up several times I do feel we're making progress. She knows there's no BF in the night and she's learning to settle herself back to sleep.

Thanks for posting shattered, and had a very controlled rant at DH in bed last night. DH silent and then asleep! But, he woke up at 7 & took DD letting me sleep for a couple of hours this am!!! Feel fab now, normal relations to be resumed, anger has subsided phew!

Hope you had progress through the night as well.

Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 20/08/2006 11:26

Morning Lychee, are you still BF in the day? You are doing really well. Mine got up at 2.30 and 5 and had just 3oz each time and went back to sleep no bother. DH also went downstairs with the kids and i got up at 9.30.wow

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mellowma · 20/08/2006 12:06

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 20/08/2006 12:11

Ah Mellowma dont stress. You can only do what you can do. I know it would have been nice to sort it out throughout the holidays. Think of it this way. DS2 will be at school so not 2 children to entertain just the one. I dont know what stage he is at but what about taking to him about it in the day. Pretend to throw away the cup before bedtime, get him to do it! Obviously get it out again as they cost enough as it is!!! That might sound ridiculous but we are sleep deprived desperate mothers. All men are *, use your imagination.You know why he wakes up with you, you have just got the message through to him that mommy doesnt give a drink in the night anymore!Keep going you are doing really well. We'l get there one day then we'l have nothing to talk about...

OP posts:
mellowma · 20/08/2006 12:21

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Original poster
shatteredmumsrus · 20/08/2006 12:35

The computer would crash there would be that many messages.Poor man it is so tiring lying there listening to you sort his son out. My partner said im awake too you know, i can hear everything going on. Theres no difference! So i said if there is no difference how come you dont get up? He was baffled and said alright then I will. He 'fell asleep' watching the football downstairs. Amazing arnt they!
Yeah they do understand more than we think they do. We just dont like to admit that they are playing a game with us. Little bleeders. What about a reward scheme or is he too young.Try it anyway you never know.Or say if you drink in the night there are no clean nappies and if you wet that one too much you will have to stay in it? That sounds cruel actually but hey ho!

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whiffy · 20/08/2006 13:04

I know there's probably more advice already on this thread than you can possibly deal with but if it helps I had exactly same expereince with DS until he was two years old. Conrtrolled crying didn't work because he would get hysterical and throw up.

Cure was combination of 2 things (1) cranial osteo found glue ear problem caussing him discomfort when he lay down for any length of time and (2) Dr prescribed Phenergan but that didn't work so I left it a couple of weeks and then tried again with Medised. The trick is not to use it when they first go down, but to give it mixed in some milk as soon as they wake up. And THEN you do the controlled crying. What happens is that the controlled crying on its own isn't enough but after 20-30 mins the phenergen/medisaed kicks in and they fall asleep and this gets them in the habit of falling asleep and thus breaks the cycle. My dr said to try it for up to 2 weeks but with our DS it worked within 4 nights. We did this at same time as cranial osteo treatment so not sure which had greater inpact. Haven't had to resort to medicine since. If you do this you should check with Dr first - we discovered that quite a few children (including ours) go hyper on phenergen (I guess the same may be true of medised - check with expert before using in this way).

good luck.

mellowma · 20/08/2006 13:26

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