He has never slept thru the night, help

[shatteredmumsrus]

My 18 month old son has never slept through the night.He goes to sleep on his own even says night night. But hes up around every three hours and always has done. Ive tried everything possible to get him to sleep thru. I even gave him phenegan as recommended by my doctor but that didnt work. Has anyone got any miracle advice. Ill do anything now, im so tired

[shatteredmumsrus]

sorry that message was for mellowma

[mellowma]

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[shatteredmumsrus]

Mellowma - After explaining evrything to the 'sleepman' he said that the only thing that will settle him is milk and not to let him cry as i have tried that and it didnt work. If i decreased the amount of milk given he will realise that its not worth waking! Huh! He hasnt even got children so i shouldnt listen to him. Your right it is rewarding him, im gonna ignore him tonight and keep it up. dh is a really light sleeper and is working 7 days at the moment so you can imagine he isnt happy either.Did you have to go into ds when he woke last night? He seems to wake every couple of hours, same as mine....

[foxinsocks]

mellowma, do you send him to bed with water - i.e. an anyway up cup or something like that - then he can just reach over and get his water without waking you up. If you have done the ignoring thing before (with your other child), I would seriously consider doing it with this one (not sure if it is your ds1 or 2 that is the problem!).

shatteredmums, I would be sorely tempted in your shoes just to tell your boy that he can have water at night and that's it. You'll leave him a big beaker of water but once it's finished, that's it until the morning. I honestly think my sanity would be in question if I had got up that many times every night! I'm sure you're right and he's got into the habit of waking up and getting the attention!

[shatteredmumsrus]

Foxinsocks- He wont drink his milk out of a beaker, only a bottle. He drinks diluted squash out of a beaker no problem but not his milk. He isnt keen on water. It sounds a scary idea of giving him a beaker of water in the night when he wont have it in the day.He isnt at the explaining age yet as he cant talk, not sure he'd understand if i tried to explain it to him. I tried water in a bottle before and he just threw the bottle, i could try it again???

[shatteredmumsrus]

By the way after reading the messages ive written about my non sleeping son i have made him sound like a monster. He is a very well behaved boy who is lovely to be around - mothers guilt again. Hes a good eater and very happy, just doesnt sleep well. I feel better now, ha ha

[shatteredmumsrus]

Good night last night. Bed at 8.15, woke at 3.40am and had just 4oz!!!Awake at 7.30.Wehey!!! How you doing Mellowma?

[sweetmum]

Dear Shattered, are you still breast feeding him? because if you are, it also maybe a cause of that. Because breast feeding babies dont sleep through the night, like the bottled ones. If he wakes up after 3 hours and doesnt cries, just dont pick him up, and let him play, dont turn the light on or anything, neither start talking to him. You go back to bed, unless you hear him getting fussy.Do this for a while, when he wil get bored he will sleep himself.

Try giving gripe water. Unlike Phenergan its good, that you can give most of the time. And it also has little sleep in it as well.. try if that works for you. he may wake up 1 or 2 hours later than usual with this.

hope it helps..

[sweetmum]

If he cries alot at night, and pulls his leg towards his stomach, he may crying because he is in pain. Gripe water is good for all.

And if he is colic, the best medicine is "Infacol" an answer to every mother's prayer. Its a miracle medicine trust me, within few minutes it works!

[mellowma]

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[shatteredmumsrus]

Mellowma - poor you I know how hard it is having lack of sleep. Everything seems bad! My 5 year old is an amazing sleeper.8 til 8 guaranteed. He used to be a bad sleeper too - there is light at the end of the tunnel, honest.My partner hears everything and we have had loads of falling outs over this. They are selfish and I have learned to wither accept it or forever argue about it. He sleeps downstairs 9 out of 10 nights.Serves himself roght now he has a bad back! He said to me 'whats the matter with him, why doesnt he sleep' like i have all the answers, unbelievable arnt they.He never helps out with him and I work too, only 3 days a week but still.People have said to me leave the drink where he can get it himself but he doesnt, dont think he understands. Have you tried this? Its probably knowing you are still there that he wants not actually the 'juice'. Guess you know that already.Sorry. You have to explain to dh that if your son is to learn to sleep through you are going to ignore him when he wakes until he realises that you are not going to go into him. If he 'doesnt hear' him it shouldnt be a problem?You did well ignoring him all those times last night, keep it up and he will get it eventually. I know its hard. Just think of undisturbed sleep. Heaven, i cant wait either.Good luch and get into bed!!!
Sweetmom - I am not breastfeeding anymore. He is nearly 2 now and doesnt have colic or anything. Im open to more suggestions though. Thanks

[mellowma]

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[shatteredmumsrus]

Mellowma - It does help to know your not alone, i thought it was just me til i read other similar messages. Phenergan is something they use to help sedate children before long haul flights etc. It didnt work for me because its not a problem with him getting to sleep, its getting him to stay asleep. Dont think it would help your problem either but you can get it in some chemists over the counter. When my son wakes up he cries, sometimes screaming if i leave him long enough. Occasionally he'l says 'mommy' or 'daddy' but i ALWAYS ignore that.He has cried for over an hour before and i have had to go in. You know your sons cry, upset or just attention?He is still in a cot bed, i did change it into a bed because someone suggested that he might not like the bars and that enclosed feeling! What a mistake, he was out of his bed all night. It lasted 3 nights then i changed it back. Not saying it wont work for you though. Your son is a bit older so it might be worth a try?Im glad that you have family to help out and take them off your hands for a bit. I havent got anyone so i have to say im a bit jealous there, ha ha!

[Toady]

Mellowma

Just wondering sorry if you have already said this and you have probably checked it out anyway.

Isn't wanting lots of water a sign of diabetes, is it possible??

My mind is completely shot today, as well as not having any sleep for the last 8 months since DS3 was born I also went out last night for the first time in about 2 years, still got a hangover, just want to be on my own in a hole somewhere to SLEEP

[shatteredmumsrus]

Toady - good for you for going out tho. I always say no because sleep is more important but i think it helps to no there is life after kids.
Just a point about the diabetes. My husband has it and when i asked the question to the doctor about the children being checked for it he said that they were too young to be tested unless i had any strong evidence. Wouldnt he be asking for water during the day too?And weeing alot? You are so brave having another child i want to but dh is dead against it because of how ds2 sleeps. I think its sad that i wont have anymore for that reason.When he sleeps through it might be too late....

[shatteredmumsrus]

Update, back to his usual ways. Bed at 8, crying at 12.45 and i ignored him til 1.40 then gave 4oz milk. Awake at 4 and gave 4oz milk, then awake at 6.30 Hope that makes some of you feel better about your own

[mellowma]

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[shatteredmumsrus]

Mellowma - Your night sounded alot better, 5 whole hours eh??? My son goes to Nursery 2 days when I am at work but its £29 a day!!! I know, unbelievable eh?I have my mom but she has just had a operation on her foot and is on crutches. Its not that bas though. I am in Birmingham by the way...
I can understand you not wanting to move him into a bed, i wouldnt either until the sleeping was a bit better anyway. My son has fell over the top of his handle bars today and cut his tongue quite badly. It keeps bleeding when he has a drink and he wont eat cus he knows its sore. Bless him

[mellowma]

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[sparklemagic]

I really, really feel for you shattered and mellow and others who have these awful nights....all I can do is give my opinion; get rid of any external things that wake them, like dummies. God, you have enough wakings without them waking for a lost dummy! Give a beaker of water if you want to for them to have for the night but don't give milk or go and get drinks in the night (obviously this is when they are well, not if under the weather!)

If you have a partner consider handing all night wakings over to them; this was our magic wand that sorted DS out; and I KNOW that many men would kick up at this, saying they have to work etc but in my view there are few jobs as responsible as caring for the safety and development of a child all day, and also when we did it, my DS was so much less clingy with my DH and my DH simply had less patience and I think kids can SMELL this; it took only a very few nights of DH going in until our DS was sleeping through, so DH ended up with WAY MORE SLEEP by going in just for a while!

I know stopping using dummies and milk at night are big things, but if you want the waking to stop you probably need to stop the 'treats' when they wake....

I'm sure there are loads of different approaches out there, just wanted to share what worked for us.

[jacsmum]

Just for the record - I don't think this is the kind of thing you go for, but I put our 18mo in isolation therapy. Just didn't go in (too tired from bf-ing new baby and dealing with 4yo bedwetting etc to deal with screaming one yo anymore). I put a crashmat by the cot in case he hurled himself out and just didn't go. He stopped waking up within a week. Hideous but worth it for the whole family.

[shatteredmumsrus]

Jacsmum - That sounds a perfectly reasonable idea to me and I have tried ignoring him. He has screamed for an hour and 40 mins in the past and i have had to go in. He doesnt whimper or cry, its a full on belting screach, like he is being strangled. I dont know how he does it that loud for that long. Fortunatly my 5year old is a sound sleeper and nothing wakes him, thank god! I kept up the ignoring thing for three weeks and it didnt get any better. He didnt go to bed til gone 9 last night because he had an accident in the day and cut his tongue quite badly so he was very upset last night. He didnt wake up til 4.30, had just 4oz and then went back to sleep til 6.40, had 4oz and then up at 8.15!!! As per my psycologists (well not mine exactly, tho i need one) theory it goes down to 3.5oz tonight.
ah!
Sparklemagic - He doesnt have a dummy, just a comfort book he assosiates with bed, but he does still have his milk. He will only drink juice from a beaker in the day. Will only have milk from a bottle at night. It is gradually decreasing he used to have 2x7oz, now down to 2x3.5oz. My partner has gone into my son and it made no difference whatsoever. He is more soft than me!

[shatteredmumsrus]

Hows Mellowma today? Still mellow???

[mellowma]

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[shatteredmumsrus]

Hiya - i cant really give advice with regards to the dummy thing as neither of mine had one. They are obviously both comforters as you already know. Perhaps giving both up would be a bit too much. Id try the water first as at least he can shove his dummy back in himself without you having to go and get it.
Im quite positive at the minute with the reducing milk amount at the moment. Having more sleep than when i was ignoring him and as far as im concerned thats the main thing.Gonna carry on with 'the plan' tho.
Good luck to everyone else trying to break these nasty little habits too