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Sleep

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Original poster

What's the best (kindest) way to teach a 6 month old to go to sleep in her cot?

210 replies

Fevrier · 20/02/2012 20:55

I have fed her to sleep so far and am now being paid back by hourly wakings ......

For naps I can rock her and put her in her pram and sometimes she just goes to sleep, so she has sleep associations with naps for her pram....

Bedtime it's a breast feed and then down when asleep but multiple rockings and feedings all night long - and it's getting silly.

Can anyone advise me how I should go about getting her down awake? I am so so so tired that I feel baffled by the whole thing and quite lost.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

QuietOhSoQuiet · 20/02/2012 20:58

controlled crying,it's the only way imo.

I have used the method and although it seems cruel it really does you all the world of good in the future.

Original poster

Fevrier · 20/02/2012 21:05

What timings do you think for controlled crying?

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OovoofWelcome · 20/02/2012 21:07

Will watch this thread with interest, am in the same situation...

RecursiveMoon · 20/02/2012 21:14

We used a sleep specialist to help us when we were in a similar situation with DS. We weren't happy to use controlled crying, so the sleep plan that she made for us was based on gradual withdrawal.

RecursiveMoon · 20/02/2012 21:16

Sorry, I realise that my previous post wasn't particularly helpful, but I always worry that I sound like an advert for sleep specialists .

PlayEatSleep · 20/02/2012 21:21

Honestly, I have fed my 3 to sleep and I have tried every single thing but in the end, there was some crying involved. The problem, when fed to sleep, is that they associate falling asleep with the breast. So when they wake up at the end of a sleep cycle, they are looking for the breast again.
I think that the 9/10 months mark is when they can start to understand better.

TerrysNo2 · 20/02/2012 21:26

Controlled crying can work but it can be harsh as you leave them for longer and longer (2, 5, 10, 15, 20 mins)

I have done this "nicer" version of CC with both children and although it can take time if you persevere and are consistent it should work:

have a short nap routine (we use a lightshow) and a long bedtime routine (bath, massage, feed in darkened room)
once settled leave the room
if they cry go back in after 2 minutes (with DS I would put my hand on him and stay until he stopped crying and then leave but with DD I would just reassure her and then leave even if she was still crying as I have DS to look after too)
go back in (leaving room as dark as poss) every 2 mins doing the same thing until they settle
if you are sure they are fed, clean and right temp don't pick them up (although I do if they get v upset)

Firstly I would focus on getting them to self settle and then afterwards work on extending naps / night time sleep.

HTH!

FreddieMercurysBolero · 20/02/2012 21:29

I fed DS to sleep too, and used to take him off the breast gradually and put him back on for a bit until he was finished. Then I'd hold him til he was asleep or almost asleep and put him in his cot, which was right beside the bed. I'd put my hand on his chest and pat it gently, or hold his hand and rub his head through the bars. It took a while, and I did try CC one long awful night, but I never had the balls to do it again.

Yawner247 · 20/02/2012 21:31

Original poster

Fevrier · 20/02/2012 22:26

Thank you all ... I wish I had started this business earlier as she used to sleep well. This evening she has woken five tines already so I must crack on with putting her down awake tomorrow.,

Will sleep on it! But v much appreciate your ideas. Thank yiu

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historyrepeats · 20/02/2012 22:30

co sleep ditch the cot.

Original poster

Fevrier · 21/02/2012 08:20

I have really HistoryRepeatsItself, and am not finding it's working as she sleeps no better next to me!

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Original poster

Fevrier · 21/02/2012 08:20

Oh sorry, historyrepeats

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nectarina · 21/02/2012 08:31

In case you haven't seen this thread....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

soandsosmum · 21/02/2012 08:33

We used Elizabeth pantleys no cry sleep solution at 7ms. Slower results than cc but we didn't want to do cc. But We started at Christmas when DD was sleeping at 9/10pm and waking every hour and now she's generally asleep 8pm-6am.

pommedechocolat · 21/02/2012 08:36

I slept next to dd in her cot on the floor for ages. Not sure when I stopped doing it tbh but helped her calm down and get comfortable when she realised I was staying there.

I know some people would say that co-sleeping would be easier than that but I need my defined space!

BertieBotts · 21/02/2012 08:36

Can you take one side off the cot and have it as a sidecar type thing? Means you can be close and ease her in but she's used to it if you want to separate bed/cot later.

If she's sleeping no better with you anyway then perhaps she is just not developmentally ready to go longer yet.

undergroundernie · 21/02/2012 11:29

Try stopping feeding before she's asleep but very sleepy. At that stage I used to feed but try and stop before he slept so I could sit him up and burp him as I found he was likely to wake after 45 mins if I put him down asleep. He wouldn't pull himself off the breast before he was asleep but I found with a bit of trial and error there was a point where he would accept me gently removing him and sitting him up. Then I would read him a quiet story to have something to do whilst I waited for a burp. Then usually he would settle fine alone as he was very sleepy but if not I would stay with him with my hand on him.

OovoofWelcome · 21/02/2012 11:45

Hi fevrier I am in the same situation - my nearly 6 month old DS feeds to sleep, needs a dummy to be settled for naps, and wakes up every hour or two throughout the night. We cosleep from 10 or 11pm onwards which allows us all more sleep, but I never really get deep sleep and cosleeping is quite uncomfortable.

Am feeling a bit miserable about it all today - he's decided to be anti-nap today and I feel exhausted, urgh. Good job he's so utterly cute and gorgeous!

Anyway, after his 6 month birthday we are going to try nectarina's technique (she had provided the link up thread) ie pop him in his cot in his own room (currently bedside cot) and stay with him, reassuring him until he drops off to sleep.

Have friends who did this when their LO was 3 months old and it worked in 4 days - we didn't want to try it that young but am sure their baby is absolutely fine. Will probably take a little longer with DS.

One question I have is, should we take the dummy away when we attempt it? It's the only way to calm him at the moment, apart from boob....May ask on nectarina's thread -anyone else have any thoughts?

Original poster

Fevrier · 21/02/2012 13:24

I feel a bit miserable about it all too but excited today by managing to rock the cot (cheap ikea number) so she took her nap in it.... Going to try that at bedtime and then if it works reduce it over a few days. A kind of gradual withdrawal.

Thing is I have a 3 year old so can't spend hours doing that as he is watching YouTube while I settle her - hence feeding to sleep (and I can't bear crying).

Plan is to - familiarise her with her cot by putting her in drowsy and tucking a sheet over her and rocking it.

Then reducing over days til she goes in drowsy but not rocked but with me near by...

I will keep this thread updated with my progress - but she's bound to get ill I expect!

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Original poster

Fevrier · 21/02/2012 20:26

Well I put her down drowsy and lay her in her cot and then she started to wake up and complain that she wasnt properly asleep so I rocked the cot and off she went.... She woke about an hour later and I had to rock firmly with my hand on her for a good ten minutes. I wonder if this is really better than just picking her up and rocking her in my arms as I would usually? (trouble is my 3 year old has to be left while I sort her out so I usually do the quickest thing - DH working late at the moment).

I am going to try this for a few days (probably only for bedtime and the evenings) as a start to gradual withdrawal.

Is it hopeless if I just keep feeding her at night? I am so tired and she is a big heavy girl only living on breast milk and a morsel of food that she deigns to feed herself.

Is this a very muddly plan? I am trying! But so tired......

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StrawberryMojito · 21/02/2012 20:44

Do update on how you get on. I'm a very tired mum of a 4 1/2 month old who is exactly the same. I don't enjoy co sleeping but can't get him in his cot without him having a complete screaming fit (and god, does he have stamina!). He wakes at least 4 times a night and only the breast will do, I'm confident that he is not hungry for most of those wakings. Feel like I've got myself in a right mess with him. He is super cute though.

Original poster

Fevrier · 21/02/2012 20:58

So she woke again (it seems she wakes hourly) and I was talking to my mum on the phone and didn't go to her to rock the cot and literally 2 minutes later she was asleep. Maybe maybe maybe it'll work?

Focussing on bedtime and evenings for now!

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Shoutymomma · 21/02/2012 21:11

We did controlled crying. On night 2 I nearly cried myself dry on the stairs. It is temporarily heartbreaking and will make you feel like the parent from hell, but by jebus, it works.

PlayEatSleep · 21/02/2012 21:12

Good luck Fevrier. It's such a difficult phase. I did a teeny weeny bit of cc a few weeks ago and I feed DD (8m) to sleep still, but I put her down still awake for naps and in the evening, and she goes down perfectly. We had reached a horrible stage where she could only fall asleep feeding but even then she was finding it difficult. She's a much happier girl now.
She still wakes at 11 for a feed and then again at about 1am and i then take her in bed with me.

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