What's the best (kindest) way to teach a 6 month old to go to sleep in her cot?

[Fevrier]

I have fed her to sleep so far and am now being paid back by hourly wakings ......

For naps I can rock her and put her in her pram and sometimes she just goes to sleep, so she has sleep associations with naps for her pram....

Bedtime it's a breast feed and then down when asleep but multiple rockings and feedings all night long - and it's getting silly.

Can anyone advise me how I should go about getting her down awake? I am so so so tired that I feel baffled by the whole thing and quite lost.

Yes Im all confused about which thread I am using! I don't let her cry much. She hasn't needed to much because amazingly she has decided that being in her cot is okay and maybe that's after the night I rocked her in it..l she's used to being rocked in a pram during the day. I do go to her quite quickly but try to soothe her in the cot - hand on tummy, rock it, loud White noise, give her the teddy. But that was just two nights I have ever done that. I always got her out before.

To be honest I feel very daunted by tonight. It involves so much more time awake and i am tired out. I don't know if I can keep it up so much longer knowing the easy option of cosleeping and feeding back to sleep. But the hourly waking is hell (even next to me in bed) so I hope i can see if through.

She's had 2 good naps today and is having a third now so I think she is feeling tired from being awake at night and the short night before. I guess I'll just put her to bed 3.5 hours after she wakes. Maybe I should wake her....

I literally pick up the side of the cot and rock it with my hand on her..... She seems to accept that as soothing. I don't think I'd manage if she didn't like that.....

And sorry for the monologue style and lack of replying to others.... Hoping in a few days I will have more energy / mental space / maybe even evening time?? Dint want to get my hopes up. And I am not aiming for her to sleep through, just sleep better.

Also following this thread with great interest as 4 month old DD only ever fed to sleep. Forced to co sleep and HATE it! I know some people can sleep through a baby sucking on them, but I cannot! She wakes at least every 90 mins or so rooting for my boob and I am exhausted. She has never been put down for a sleep in her life as any attempts as a newborn resulted in tears and I was too wimpy to persevere.

Fevrier, sounds like you are doing really well. Am wondering if I should start something similar or if 4 mo is too young?

So I put him down at 6.15pm and he was happy enough but after ten mins or so he started chewing his blanket and crying-damn teething-scuppered my plans last night too, ended up feeding him to sleep again to soothe his gums, maybe tomorrow night ..... Waiting for him to wake after his usual 45 mins, hopefully will be able to settle him without feeding, going to sit by his bed so I can help him settle straight away, aghhh so stressful.
Best of luck tonight everyone!
One thing I've learned is to put him in his cot about 15/20 mins before he's due his nap/ sleep, if I leave it any later he's cranky from tiredness and only wants a boob!

Yay got him straight back to sleep when he stirred . He's asleep an hour now which means he might sleep til 12/1, if he was going to wake alot he'd have woken up by now, the first hour sets the scene for the rest of the night I find !
Good luck all.

Well I am just trying to soothe in cot not out of it and had to jiggle it quite a bit more tonight. She keeps dropping her rabbit which makes her cry, possible as bad as a dummy then... Anyway, I can cope wig that for now.

Wonder if getting her v v sleepy and soothing her to almost asleep is not going to help yet....

Am I missing the point ? Are they meant to go into their cots totally alert? She would just scream and scream. Sure it gets easier for them as they get older. My son stopped crying at bedtime when he was 7 months. But he was an easier regular baby in many ways.

I try to put my DS down awake (didn't tonight cos of teething) because then he has to settle himself to sleep and so when he wakes up later he might be able to settle himself without my help IYSWIM.
If she really screams put her down drowsy and maybe eventually you'll be able to put her down awake?? The aim is to put down awake and them needing less and less intervention from you.
My DS has a fisher price mobile that he loves so I put that on and he loves looking at it and eventually he gets tired and drifts off. The trick is to feed and put down before they are too tired. The first night I discovered this he cried to be fed but I hadn't got him ready for bed yet so I ended up feeding him downstairs and then went upstairs and had put on his pj's and change his nappy and I kept thinking oh no he's gong to be fully awake but actually it worked cos it broke the association between feeding and going to sleep. I also realised that I was leaving it too late ie aiming for sleep at 7pm but only putting to bed at 7, ,now I'm going to put him in bed at 6.40pm and let him watch his mobile in the cot til he gets tired. Maybe you could try that? and sit with her as she lies there so she knows she's not alone.
My problem is the frequent wakings and him requiring a boob to be helped back to sleep, so I'm going to get strict and Ive decided I'm not feeding him til midnight at the earliest...and hopefully by always putting down awake for naps and for initial bedtime sleep he'll be able to self-settle it in the middle of the night.
Fingers crossed for you tonight, sounds like you're doing really well so far
THT

My update: got DS back to sleep somehow without feeding when he woke at 12 last night, must have fed again but got him down ok, no idea when how - nights all blurred together! - and he slept until 6.40... Lovely! Today we've been to the sea so he's had 4 naps, one of sea air and I got him in bed at 7 even tho he only woke around 5.20. But 10 mins of light grizzle while I sat there and shhhed and he was pretty asleep with the odd squeak until 10 mind later. Since then: zilch, nada, nuffink... He's still sleeping blissfully at 10.38 having missed the wake up at 45 mins into sleep or at 9ish or even the clockwork 10.30 dream feed, WOW. Tonight's aim is to feed now, not before 1.30 and then roughly 3 hrs later, and return back to sleep each time; I will be trying to put him down half awake. (last night it helped to state my aims somehow!).

Glad DD is doing so well Fevrier, and useful point made above Reckless, about putting them down before tired and yowling, it helped tonight. Just makes for a super early bedtime.

This thread is really helping me stay strong and consistent so ta to all for advice or updates, esp Fevrier for getting it started!

Oops that was sposed to be

We found that DD got way worse when she was having a growth spurt (and there is one about 6mo) or if she was about to have a development leap like crawling or walking. We haven't cracked, by any means, a recent bout of illness combined with four canines all coming through means we have had to scrap the cot and return to co sleeping, but we just couldn't do CC or CIO.

We have found a good routine leading up to nap/bedtime helps so she knows what is expected of her, ensuring we get her o bed before she is over tired and number one tip is to get her up at 7am every single day. If DD sleeps in or goes back to sleep at a weekend she is bloody nightmare to get to bed and to keep her asleep!

Ok so I broke my own rule of not feeding before midnight but he woke at 10,40p
and was grumbling and chewing his blankets so I felt sorry for him and fed him cos I knew it would relieve his gums. Well not perfect but better than last night maybe tomorrow... Really going to try hard with naps tomorrow. Hope you all get good results tonight !

Well I think I might haveto slow down as I have adore throat and dd isn't so easy to settle tonight - feeding her already at 11:45 and she's starving! Settled her an hour ago already. O well. Slow and steady..... At least they're not hourly wakings any more....

Basically I fed her every 3 hours and tried to put her back down awake but it did mean she was awake for up to half an hour each rtime and I don't think she's getting enough sleep....

Going to slow down now I have accomplished stopping the hourly waking. I feel exhausted by the effort!

She seems to be resisting the cot more today, either she's worked out that it happens and takes her away from me or she is a bit overtired (quite likely) or feeling unwell (a bit coldy)... I had to rock her a lot for her sleep nap this morn but I think I started too late.

Dh has taken DS swimming so now I shall try and snooze. How did everyone else get on???

Fevier I know what you mean by exhausted by the effort, me too! I ended up with him in my bed and fed him as often as he wanted tbh I don't know how often it was, it's all a blur!. Had to feed him to sleep for both his naps today despite not having to yesterday, grrr I'm going backwards now...
I think its a developmental thing/teething rather than a bad habit with my DS . Might give myself a bit of a break with it because it's stressing me out. Well done on going 3 hours between feeds that's alot better than hourly wake ups
Seratonin sounds like you've cracked it
Fishcalledwonder think you can start at 4 months, did you try it last night?
Slowburner thanks for your tips and support

Yea recklesspixie, agree with teeth/ development - thinking the same.... Thank you - 3 hours IS better than hourly, need to remember that.

I know she is going o be unwell and have teeth (my son slept badly on and off til just before he was one - I even went back o work while he woke hourly and I survived).... Shortly after that he slept thru. Think it's important not to make suxh strict rules that you get knackerd as things will get worse and better and worse and better over the year, hopefully with an overall improvement!

Well, I have to say I am delighted because she only woke for 2 night feeds - at midnight and four am! Then she did wake early at 6ish and I tried to feed her back to sleep in our bed b ut she woke up...

Anyway, from hourly wakings to 2 night feeds in five days - pretty thrilled. And all from soothing in her cot not in my arms. May be a one off but its a step in the direction I wanted.

Hope others have similar success.

Thanks to everyone who shared their experience - such a help!

Well thanks to this thread I have had several reliable evenings of sleep 6.30-10.30 after he goes to sleep in the cot, last night DS then slept til 2.45 without a peep (at last, 3 whole hours of unbroken sleep again! ) but then again at 4.30 and 5.50 (for the day). Progress; but two steps forward and one back as usual. Hope everyone else is getting somewhere too.

That's super fevier
my DS woke at 11.30 pm, 2.30am, 4.30am and up at 6.45am so an improvement but still want to drop one of those feeds. Did your Dd cry alot or just whinge? Did it take long to settle her each time? We give up far to easily. I knew he wasn't hungry at 4.30am but I couldn't listen to him cry for more than 2 mins.... Did you sit beside her or go over and back to her ?

Well done Seratonin! Great to have people going through the same thing otherwise I'd think it was my fault for creating a bad habit !

Oh brilliant that seratonin had succeeds too. Recklesspixie, best thing is she hasn't really cried much at all. I have rocked her in the cot when crying and the moat she Cried was for ten minutes on Monday evening. But with me rocking her. After that it has been v little. I think she just needed to go to sleep with less interference.

another terrible night, I feel its a growth spurt/teething so I'm trying not to worry about it and hopefully I'm not reinforcing a terrible habit. Just annoyed that I cant go out for night, have a 30th on Saturday night but its out of the question til he sleeps better

Oh sorry to hear it.... Mine wasn't perfect as she woke slightly oftener than 3 hourly and I brought her into bed at 5am to feed on and off til 7am... Think am being a bit wimpy about going down awake.... Going into cot conscious but only just and rocking her......

At least I know how to improve things.......