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Original poster

What's the best (kindest) way to teach a 6 month old to go to sleep in her cot?

210 replies

Fevrier · 20/02/2012 20:55

I have fed her to sleep so far and am now being paid back by hourly wakings ......

For naps I can rock her and put her in her pram and sometimes she just goes to sleep, so she has sleep associations with naps for her pram....

Bedtime it's a breast feed and then down when asleep but multiple rockings and feedings all night long - and it's getting silly.

Can anyone advise me how I should go about getting her down awake? I am so so so tired that I feel baffled by the whole thing and quite lost.

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BrianButterfield · 21/02/2012 21:38

It's worth seeing how long she takes to settle herself without getting too upset. For example, I know now that if I leave DS for ten minutes he will grizzle and grumble but he's only making his tired noises, not crying, and he will go back to sleep. If I were going by someone else's plan and going in every two minutes I'd just be disturbing him more.

Original poster
Fevrier · 21/02/2012 21:46

Thanks everyone. Very much appreciate your support and guidance. Am doing this alone as DH is always working late and it's brilliant to have suxh lovely people to bounce my ideas off.....

I will keep this updated for others in this rocky boat!

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Original poster
Fevrier · 22/02/2012 17:49

Her naps are causing me trouble with a regular bedtime too. Yesterday she had a 40 minute nap in te morning and 2 hours at lunch so I managed a 6pm bedtime. But today the middle one was short so couldn't last and napped at 5:15 - oh dear oh dear. A late bed. Makes me feel so useless as everything is a mess. No consistency. Any ideas? Should I have just put her to bed at 5pm?

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BrianButterfield · 22/02/2012 18:05

I don't put DS to bed until after 7. Sometimes it isn't until 8 when he's in bed. Doesn't bother me as I prefer it when he gets up later - never understood people putting babies to bed at 6 and complaining they wake up super early!

mewkins · 22/02/2012 20:23

Hiya, DD is now 20mths but at about 4 months I started doing the baby whisperer pick up put down method....there was definitely crying involved as dd is strong willed and enthusiastic in every area of life, but persistence was the key. What motivated me was that the BW is adament that it works on all babies without exception (obv, as long as no illness is involved)...but you have to stick at it. Took us probably a week of real effort and then quickly improved. Basically involves staying with the baby so that they feel reassured. Now....it worked and the results have been great and I believe they have instilled really good sleep habits in dd. She loves her cot, loves sleep and has really good sleep associatiins. However, I can't help thinking that controlled crying would have suited her personality more. She seemed agitates that I stayed with her and has always been quite an independent thing. Would strongly suggest reading the BW and seeing what you think. sorry for long post!

Original poster
Fevrier · 22/02/2012 22:05

Well she went to bed far too late at 9:30 - I clearly should not have let her nap - but went into cot happily ish and I rocked it a bit but not lots. Now I need to try and be better at night, leave her for longer and try not to feed so much..... Not easy as she's in our room, DH has interviews all week and my energy levels are v depleted. Wish me luck!

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 06:57

I've fed her twice - at 1 and 4am and rocked her every other time without picking up... V tiring

She got up at 6;45 as it was light

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 06:59

I've fed her twice - at 1 and 4am and rocked her every other time without picking up... V tiring

She got up at 6;45 as it was light

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 07:05

She woke every hour without fail. Wonder if this cot rocking will help or just serve to exhaust me? Certainly more tiring than co sleeping.

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 10:17

By the away thank you mewkins for your advice too.... Very encouraging ideas.

She is making up for her short night with a decent morning nap.

I do wonder if the hourly wakings ar e just habit or over tiredness or teething? But i am going to focus on self settling at bedtime and see if it helps.

My son used to self settle but still woke hourly when teething I just remembered.

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TerrysNo2 · 23/02/2012 14:43

Fevrier

If she wakes early from her lunchtime nap then you could try a catnapof 10-15 mins in the afternoon which shouldn't affect bedtime too much, just don't let her sleep for a long nap (30 mins+)

It will get better!

Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 17:48

Thank you Terrys, good point! Will try that nxt time.

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 19:02

Well amazingly I Put her down v v v drowsy and she cried so put on White noise super loud and gave her her rabbit and he cried for literally 2 minutes. Does that count as self settling? Last week was the last time I tried and she cried for 35 mins. Could she remember? Has my cot rocking worked?

Anyway, I am glad for now...... Relieved.

Next comes the night - I will try an leave her a bit.

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 19:04

Failing tht I will rock cot with White noise. Failing that feed.

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mewkins · 23/02/2012 21:11

Yes great self settling!!!!! The idea then is stick with the same approach for night wakings. And have in your head a time that is the earliest you would feed (eg. 1am). For all other nightwakings, stick to encouraging him to self settle. Hourly waking for us was swiftly over almost as soon as she learnt to self settle.... although yes teething could be an issue so could try a bit of teething gel or something. Good luck!

PlayEatSleep · 23/02/2012 21:25

Yeah!! Results. It means she can do it.

I took DD in my bed last night at 1 or so but she wouldn't settle. I had to put her back in her own bed for her to sleep and she did until 6.50!

Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 22:19

Thank you!

She's settled with just a hand on her tummy twice now. Can't believe it! Too sweet really

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SeratoninIsMyFriend · 23/02/2012 22:48

I've been watching both the threads as am trying to crack DS's appalling recent frequent wakings: he used to go 7-10.30-2.30-5.30-7am, with 2hrly feeds all day, fully bf. Since having chickenpox and horrid cough/cold he's started feeding 2hrly all night too, tho mostly token feeds so I know it'a not real hunger. He also wakes up fully occasionally and will not settle with any of my tricks. Just between illnesses I started him at bedtime self settling and he started crying for much less time, but had to revert to cuddles when he was so poorly. Am trying again with some success but he still cries most times he goes in the cot awake. I've just made bedtime 6.30 and he seems less overtired which helps, but I have just spent 45mins trying to settle him after he woke at 9.15... Since it got to 10.15 I have ended up feeding him as he's at an acceptable feed time- the same outcome as if he wakes up fully in the early hours. I'm exhausted after 2 weeks of this, am ratty with my 3yoDD and DH had to take DS at 5.40am after he wouldn't go back to sleep after feeding around 4.30am this morning...

I'm worried my tactics are too at the mercy of my tiredness (respond half asleep and don't stop and think what am I doing), and of my mood, and need to formulate plan. Two goals: learn to self settle AND space feeds out to say 2 & 5 again.

My tactics so far are sitting in room by the cot (he's in my room) and shhhing with occasional stroke or turn him onto his side (he sleeps better like this), and occasionally leaving him for longer to see if he stops of his own accord (seldom). I'm going to try to give him longer before I respond as others have suggested, and work on settling first. Not ready for proper CC but then have moments where I think it's the only way: I'd prefer to wait a few months if pods!

Here for handholding with everyone else, has been a real relief to hear I'm not the only one in this boat, but let's hope we can change it soon! Smile (soz for epic post!)

Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 23:07

Nice to hear from you! I am sitting in her room having fed her (first feed) as my breast has a blocked duct si really need to get it moving. Thinking about it, she is awful also after illnesses - measles and colds. In fact another cold is on it's way so this may be a false start. Perhaps we should all wait to spring?

Anyway, fed her but stopped her falling asleep on me and back into cot (was key to my sob sleeping thru at 11 months) and after crying etc now she is happily duly awake. O dear. At least it's early night so I don't just give in and feed in my bed!

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Original poster
Fevrier · 23/02/2012 23:23

She went happily Back to sleep from awake after a feed. Does seem too good to be true.

Think I have been underestimating her!

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SeratoninIsMyFriend · 24/02/2012 01:11

DS woke at 12.26 after an hour's sleep and I have been comforting but not picking up: he has had teething gel but 30mins later he is manically trying to suck his fingers and still awake, tho eyes have been closed for ages... He's desperately tired but the sucking fingers almost seems to keep him awake! If it gets to 1.30 then it is feed time.

Original poster
Fevrier · 24/02/2012 03:10

O well done! Well I can see massiveassive progress in just one bight. I fed her at 10 something, a big feed and she eventually went to sleep again happily after 11 and I slept nil 2:50 - repeat! Really great. She is learning so so quick. And no crying at night so far.

I slept for nearly 4 hours!

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Pigletina · 24/02/2012 12:03

Really interested as to how you get on Fevrier. In same position as you with a heavy and determined 6mo DD who doesn't want to sleep on her own or without the comfort of feeding. Please keep updating as to how you get on and give the rest of us hope that we don't have to go down the cc route!

Original poster
Fevrier · 24/02/2012 13:05

Well I managed to soothe her in the cot quickly at 3 and then fed her back to sleep at 5am as I was scared shed get up otherwise. She peeped at 6:15 and woke very happily at 7:15...

I'd say a b ig success.

Though I feel too tired to do all that again tonight!

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recklesspixie · 24/02/2012 14:43

Hi Fevrier, I posted on your other thread but am moving to this one as its more active! put him down awake at 7pm and he went to sleep himself, he woke 45 mins later as usual and i couldn't settle him, he's teething and gel wasnt enough to calm him down so eventually I fed him back to sleep. I let him sleep with me all last night because of his teeth but am really going to give it a go again tonight. He has slept 7-1, 1-4, 4-7 lots of times so I know he can do it. How long are you letting you DD cry for? I'm such a wimp even 2 minutes is hard for me....