What's the best (kindest) way to teach a 6 month old to go to sleep in her cot?

[Fevrier]

I have fed her to sleep so far and am now being paid back by hourly wakings ......

For naps I can rock her and put her in her pram and sometimes she just goes to sleep, so she has sleep associations with naps for her pram....

Bedtime it's a breast feed and then down when asleep but multiple rockings and feedings all night long - and it's getting silly.

Can anyone advise me how I should go about getting her down awake? I am so so so tired that I feel baffled by the whole thing and quite lost.

Good idea MJtay, or rather a top up before a b feed to get her all sleepy.

I fed every 3 hours I think.... Just wishing to get her back to sleep. I guess I should try rocking but at one point I did and she woke ten minut later and the same again.

Good idea. I find thar if DD Is tired, her bottle makes her sleepy too. Just hotta keep ur supply as high as pos xxxx

Am I unreasonable to be pissed off that hubby came up when DD woke am hour later tonite and he picked her up and rocked her off!! Arrghhh all my hard work nice spoken about nothing else for 4 days... But claims he forgot!! Xxx

I've instead of nice!!x

O no MJtay! Well, at least it wasn't you breaking. All your hard work... I did the same to myself - now I realise she falls asleep feeding at 11 and then wakes all night looking for the breast again. I need to go back to putting her down awake ALL night and frankly I am depressed at the thought - so tiring. I did manage it before with no crying because I rocked the cot. I am going to try and do the same. Really, I don't think I could have another baby - this one is wearing me out!

Ahhh ull soon change ur mind when she grows out of it which she will. Have u got any time coming up where u dont really have anywhere to be so u can kip in the day?! Or have someone over to look after her so u can sleep?! Then u can have a determined structured plan!! And start on the day intended. Atleast u know she can do it!

Well after hubbies moment, she woke at 3 and self settled in 20 mins with me next to her. Then woke at 6. Managed to her off with a bit of crying, but she eas so snotty, she one again half hour later!! My day started then! :( So as she was crying so much she came into our bed! I gave her calpol. I rocked her off and put her down, but she had so much in her throat, she woke crying here I got caught! So I rocked her off and left her in my arms. About half hour I put her down and she woke and cried!! Damn!!! All rules broken, but she was very poorly. She slept for 3 hours that afternoon, and another nap at 4.30-5.
I thought I would try self settle that night as all this had happened away from her cot. A little cry when I first put her down. Then she soothed herself to sleep in 10 mins!! Then geez!!!!!!..... Next thing I know, hybbys getting ready for work at 6.30. I didn't even wake to check on her, was obviously so tired. Got 8 hours straight. And she some me half hour ago!!! So no harm done I would say! Xxx

So sorry for typos!! Bloody phone!! Xx

Woke me half hour ago! X x

Wow thats amazing, well done you!

Now i need a definite plan. Things are back to being rubbish and I suppose it is just because I feed her back to sleep in the night. Really need some help. Trouble is I can never catch up in the night because I have a 3 year old.

I've got so much help on this thread but again I have no idea what to do!

A week ago I got her down to 2 night wakings but now she wakes every 90 minutes from 11pm.

Am feeling quite desperate about it. Can anyone give me a plan?

the kellymom site might help you with your questions about dropping night feeds, but I found with DS1 it really affected my supply, then with DS2 the night feeds were the last to go.

I quite like the sound of the pick up put down method suggested by doylejudith. If you are consistant with it, I can really see it working. (till the next cold/teething bout ha ha)

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned and I have just remembered about it as I saw the friend in question today - is silent reflux. Unlike traditional reflux where there are obvious symptoms, babies with silent reflux are harder to diagnose as the problem only affects them when laying flat for long periods (like bedtime)

There are lots of previous threads on silent reflux if you do a search. My friends used to have to walk the streets in the middle of the night as her DD would only sleep in carseat or buggy (as it was raised) however with medication (and age), the condition settled.

but you could just have an awkward baby like I have had

Thank you SO much. I do think she had silent reflux but she always used to sleep well at night until 5 months, just up for a feed or two. I so need to change something and I need to start tonight as I am feeling v oppressed by it all. And it's affecting my son too as I am preoccupied and tired. DH wants me to stop breastfeeding to help sort it.

Tonight I might try rocking the cot again instead of picking her up. And feeding her every 3/4 hours instead.

She's quite awkward about food - feeds herself if she wants to but not always eating... Purees a tiny bit if distracted.

You are v kind to reply. Look how huge this thread is and how hopeless I feel. Though things are better than they were. At least she sleeps in the evening now.

DS was 10 pound at birth but was 8 months before he was properly interested in food. He never liked purees and wanted to do everything himself (still does) so we went down the BLW path. He was entirely BF till 6 months when I tried introducing foods, but like I said he wasnt interested till 8months.

I dont think his sleep problems were because he was hungry, he has always been really tactile and enjoyed/wanted the close contact. Even now at 2 and a half yrs, he still asks for a cuddle or for me to get into his bed when he wakes (I give him a quick kiss & stroke but no cuddle/bed hopping or else we start the whole cycle off again and I only do that the first time, after that I do the supernanny thing of putting him to bed without any eyecontact/talking) I also think he never learnt to self-settle as I fed him to sleep on the breast (again the close contact) So that is why I think the pcik up put down would have worked well with him.

DS1 (4yrs) is entirely different & never liked close contact unless on his terms (he will cuddle you, but you cant cuddle him) so maybe that is why he was able to go from 7-7 from 6 months?

Ahhhh fevrier!! U can do it!!!! Uve already come so far!! Try teasing her awake before putting her down, and go back to rocking her cot if that's what worked!! I'm sure once she gets used to settling in her cot, u wont have to do that!! Keep ur chin up, it will be worth it!!

With regards to dropping bf, one of the reasons I started to drop feeds was that I felt it was making her clingy. She wouldn't settle with other ppl. As soon as I passed her over she would cry. Even with grandparents!! She is much much better, now I only feed her morning and eve myself. But that could be coincidence! May of just come with age. And we did go thro a phase where she started to reject the bottle!! Absolute nightmare when ur supply gas slowed down!! Eek. We are in a lovely routine now, and hope my body keeps letting me feed her as I do, as it just works for us. Best of both worlds.

U need to do what feels best for u fevrier. Try settling her the way u were before u consider stopping breastfeeding, if that's what YOU want to do.
I had to rock off on one nap today as she was overtired. Currently at 15 mins cotside, but she's not upset so all good so far! Xx

Getoutmypub that sounds just like my LO. Thank god she appears to have dropped her night feeds!! Xxx

Thanks mtjay, had a lot of crying tonight and I had to go back and forth between my son calling mummy and baby crying... The last two nights she has cried about 20 minutes after putting her down and I have found her wedged in tr corner of her cot, I then picked her up and fed or cuddled to sleep (thinking she had woken up) but i think she hadn't yet gone to sleep and I was teaching her a new mad routine. So tonight when I didn't pick up again she was cried for a long time... Awful awful awful

What am I going to do tonight? Feed Give in and co sleep or rock cot and exhaust myself further?

And mtjay - thanks for your encouragement. Today I feel down in the dumps and needed your kind words.

I'd love just to cuddle and feed her all night if it didn't result in incessant incessant wakings. Trouble is I am working against my grain. And I didn't get my son to sleep through until he was nearly one so not much confidence about it. Kind of believe babies need feeds and cuddles but bloody need the sleep or I will crack up.

Come on fevrier!!!.... You can do this!!!!! ;) remember what ur aiming for. When u pick her up/feed u necessarily, u are giving her the msg that u will give her that comfort feed when she decides. It will only take you a couple (of absolutely knackering, I know) days, and she will get the msg. I used to feed once or twice in the night. Now nowt! It will be worth it. Ur poor DS too, he wants time with his mummy no doubt, rather than u frantically rocking DD cot. But it will pay off!! Ur very welcome, and I hope this post isn't too harsh... Just trying to give u some go!!! Xxxx

Ah and just quickly before I go to sleep... A few weeks ago I tried the whole CC thing. But it got to the point where DD knew what was coming and would cry when I took her into her room after her bath. I had to break the routine for a few days. Took her the living room, let her sleep in the swing early eve etc. Then started again. In fact only a day or so before discovering this. So mauve u have to do a similar thing!? Let her have what she wants until the day u set in ur head!! If u need to that is. See how tonite goes,... Thinking of u xx

And does have/take a dummy?! Xx

Thanka mtjay, slightly better night tho still up wert 2 hours - fed 3 time and settled her once without. Hope going back into cot aligtly conscious will help matters. Did try not to feed but she put up a fight.

No dummy - tried but she chews and spits it out. Had such a rough time with dummies andy son that I'm happy to not use them...

If it was slightly better last nite fevrier, then no doubt it will slightly better tonite, same tomorrow. Etc! Next thing u know she will be Down to 1night feed!! Well done for perservering! All I can say is THIS S*#T WORKS!!! DD went right thro again. Can't believe it!! Xxx

MJtay, that's great! Brilliant. So what was it that you did? You rocked instead of feeding then just sat with her instead of rocking? The dummy must have helped a lot. I'm really glad for you.

I am going to keep up the bedtime bit and feeding only every 3 hours if poss. And putting back in cot awake.

In a while I might start sending DH in to comfort her instead of me feeding (for the first feed) but he hates crying babies and will find it hard to be patient..... So that's not a firm plan...

Feeling a bit less tired but honestly still quite weary! Every 2 hours minimum since January is taking its toll.

I'm also thinking I should try and get her to nap in her cot soon just to give her a chance to nap for longer - at the moment I rock her in the pram with White noise. She tends to startle awake at 30 or 40 minutes. And has that 3 times a day. I'd have to use the controlled crying method - or pop in and out as I prefer to think of it - because with my son about I can't simply sit with her..... I kind of dread it because I think she will cry for ages but I'll postpone that one until the nights are better. Maybe the naps will get better if the nights do?

Wish I'd tackled self settling at 4 months - if I'm ever brave enough to have another baby I would do it then..... I left it late last time tool I find transitioning from comforting to sleep as for a tiny baby to teaching a bit of independence so very tricky,