The my baby won't nap sign here thread?

[Zimm]

Helllo all,

Until recently DD (6 months) would only nap in her pram, this worked ok-ish. Now even this seems to be failing, yesterday I paced for 1.5 hours to get her to take a 30 minute nap. NOTHING gets done during the day as I am constantly entertaining her. Her night sleep was fantastic (8pm-6am, 6.30am - 8.30am!) but all went wrong at sleep regression and we now have anywhere between 2 and 6 wakings.

I worry about the lack of naps affecting her and making her miserable.

So please sign here if you too have a nap refuser, maybe we can share ideas or just support each while our houses descend into a cloud of mess, phone call go unreturned and exhaustion from street-pacing kicks in!

Zimm

morning everyone

Zimm - I know its hard but I really think its time for some tough love, I'm so strict with naps during the day now and he is so much better at night. Yesterday he slept for nearly 3 hours in the afternoon, didn't wake till 3:15pm. So I didn't let him nap at 4 because he would of napped till 5pm and routine would of gone out the window! He was in bed at 7pm, woke at 10:30pm - leaked nappy Got him in bed with me after I'd changed him and put him in his cot once he was a sleep at about 11pm. He had a feed too, slept through till 7am. It only takes a few days of hard work, I literally didn't make any plans for 3-4 days so I could be at home and work on the routine.

I hope you had a good night, I know how hard it is. Today is jabs day - hoping they don't effect his sleep.

BTW Zimm -

You are doing your best. I used to think I was doing something wrong, surely I was?!! We are new to this. There is no leaflet that comes with our DC that tell us how to get them to sleep!!

I used to hate it when friends would say - Oh he's STILL waking up , Poor you.
So bloody annoying!! This thread has saved my life! At least we are all honest about our struggles!

I know every baby is different but I've been very lucky not to have to get tough in naps. As long as I catch him at the right time he wants to sleep cheering him to lengthen his nap past a sleep cycle is the hard bit.

But then I do rock him to sleep and use swaddling so I guess it's props galore and later on I may have to be tough!

Sedgie that is brilliant, both about the sleep and the weight. We have also had some weight gain issues and I wasn't prepared for how incredibly stressful the whole thing would be (guess that's another thread though!!

Zimm I totally agree with IMissSleep - you are doing what you can and every baby needs a different approach. Also the pain in the bum thing is that what works one day doesn't seem to work the next??

I also agree that it might be time for some tough love. Is it possible that one day you could have someone with you for moral support? It's horrible when you're on your own and it feels like the crying / screaming is going on for ages.

BTW had AWFUL night the night before last - no sleep. Last night was amazing by comparison with only feeds at 12 and 5 then sleep until 8!!!! I feel like a different person.

Haven't got time to read everyones update at the mo, but thanks geordiegirl the weight/feeding thing has been horrible, at one point she looked like a baby from an under nourished developing country, and so today I'm still on cloud 9 knowing that now she's finally caught up that chapter is actually finally closed - and it feels great.

Last night we were out, which normally spells a horrible night as she goes to bed late - but no!! Can't believe it 10pm bed, still did my 00:30 dream feed and no wakings before 6.30. Obviously not loads of sleep so she went down again at 08:00. But this lack of night wakings is a massive breakthrough for us.

Will catch up on everyones posts later - thanks all for the support here.

Geordiegirl, are our LOs in cahoots with each other? We also had TERRIBLE night the night before last, then last night was just the 1 waking (3.30) and then straight through til 7. It makes such a difference, doesn't it?! I totally ran out of patience yesterday and we had a terrible nap day and melt down by about 4pm.

Today is another day though, and it seems to be going ok so far. Came home to put him into his cot but he appears to be fast asleep in his car seat in the hall (40 mins and counting) so I won't disturb him, it's not in his cot but at least it is a decent nap instead of the 10 minute power naps we had yesterday (which clearly weren't powerful enough!).

Our next challenge comes next week - 5 days at centre parks with another family with slightly older children (1 and 3)... wish us luck!

Hello all,

Well this week's attempts at cot naps have been futile :-( However tough love (I guess you mean letting her cry?) isn't for me. I just can't do it. Night sleep in slowly improving - she slept 7.30-4am last night, then up at 5.30am and then 7 for the day. So really not bad at all. I'm currently just grateful the snooze shade is working and she is taking buggy naps!

I am considering the staying at home all day and cracking naps approach, but it fill me with dread!!

Zimm

I suppose by 'tough love' I meant more being really strict about the routine for a few days, cancelling all other plans and persevering even if she keeps crying / screaming when you try, but for me this meant doing A LOT of picking up, comforting, rubbing back, shushing etc - I can't leave her to cry either, if she is upset, but if she's just complaining or whingeing I have sometimes left the room and she's settled on her own (if not, I go back in and start the whole comforting thing again).

Having said all that, I know of course you have been persevering with it and it has been v stressful, and if your night sleeps are improving and she's happy enough during the day and having buggy naps, then that sounds pretty good to me! :)

Beela - how strange, I wonder what tonight will bring for us both!

Zimm - could you start the staying at home approach over the weekend or when your OH is around to help and keep you company? Or plan in mini (1 hr ish) outings so you don't get cabin fever.

You are doing a brilliant job though, your DD is getting her buggy naps in and she will be learning to expect sleep at those times and that will make it easier when you do try the cot naps again.

Zimm -

Could she be teething? Have you tried some Calpol during the day? I just remembered that when my DS was teething, thats when his day time naps went shit!

He was crying, grumpy and tired.

As soon as I gave him Calpol, he was soooo much better and slept a lot better.
I can never let my DS cry either, as soon as I see the monitor go I'm in his room!
Try the staying at home approach if You can. Get OH to help. I literally had 3-4 pj days with him. Lots of cuddles. Hope you get some sleep :)

Just adding my advice that staying at home is the only real way of establishing the naps unfortunately. I had to do it for a week. Well worth it though! X

Thanks all - the thought of whole days spent trying to get her to nap horrifies me....but perhaps it is the only way :-(

So if i set very strict routine and really stuck to it how long before I would expect to see results?

I don't think she is teething as this non-napping is a permanent state of affairs.

We had one horrible day then the second day was much better and so on - to be honest she still complains a bit just about every time, but after some back-rubbing and comforting noises she goes off quite quickly (except today when she took about 10 mins to settle then only slept for about 20 mins...argh!).

Zimm I saw results instantly, that night. Then it got better over the next few days. We are in a growth spurt at the moment so nights have gone a bit haywire!

We had 2 or 3 days where it felt like all I had done was try to get him to sleep, and although we are not quite there yet we have a definite improvement. In fact it's a million miles better than this time 2 weeks ago, when he would never sleep in his cot during the day.

It is hard at the time but I think it is worth the effort.

PS stock up on biscuits and paperbacks!

Nice glass of Wine helps too (for you of course )

Same as beela

2-3 days and I saw the results. I found that as soon as he fell a sleep, I would to and with me next to him, usually in my bed he would sleep for 2 hours. Gradually I've been able to put him in his room once he's a sleep. Before if I tried to move him or get out of bed he'd wake up.

Now we go to my bed, he'll roll over on his own and within 5 mins he's a sleep and I'll put him in his own bed.

I put two weeks aside to stay home (yes miserable I know) but i couldn't take the 40min naps which required me feeding/jigging/walking to sleep and were still a fight. Also in my case I knew it was causing night wakings also, but naps were my first mission.

In my case it was more than a few days - a week? but I went cold turkey on a few things: Moved her into her cot from moses basket at night pram in the day as she was too big; stopped feeding to sleep (doing most the time) and used 'shush pat' instead to settle her to sleep however long it took and wouldn't revert to any other old method whatever protest I had. This was my 'tough love' yes some crying, as I held her or shush pat (because she wanted to go to sleep the 'usual way' but I didn't leave her to cry. That is to say, more recently I will let her have a whinge but never disstressed or sobbing crying.

The self settling thing has been the big triumph - she has a problem at bedtime (evenings she's unsettled) but by two weeks I could but her in bed for naps and leave the room with her awake the 40 min thing is pretty much a thing of the past, she sleeps 1-2hrs+ regularly = big incentive (I'm starting to feel like a REAL PERSON again!)

I had my mum and husband to encourage and support me, when I felt like giving up because I was fed up or it wasn't working or we were regressing, they kept me positive. It wasn't enjoyable but am thanking myself now and as you say zimm in your original post, our babies need the sleep and are miserable without it, this was my motivation too

Thanks all, we are considering shush-pat. So I put her on her side, pat her back and shush her for however long it takes her to get to sleep? Is this likely to take over an hour the first few times? I need to know what we are in for...

So glad everyone else is seeing results...I am motivated to continue!

So now your babies are cot napping do they just not nap in the buggy? As they are not tired? Is it ok to combine buggy naps and cots do you think? We do a fair few activities during the week (swimming, baby music/movement etc) which DD really enjoys so we cannot have a very strict stay at home routine on a permanent basis.

Right! Oh has just taken her upstairs with instructions on the four S's, and shush-pat. Waiting for the crying to start....:-( :-( :-(

Zimm good luck! Hope you are not having too horrible a nap experience! We had a shocker this morning - 25 mins of settling for a 30 min nap....argh!

RE how long it might take - my worst has been about 40 mins of settling.

Also, she still does some napping in the buggy and after the initial intense staying at home thing, have now been out and about as usual as I couldn't be at home all the time, would drive both of us mad - the only difference is now I try to get her down for a nap in the am before we head out anywhere, not always possible of course. Not sure whether this relaxing of the strict routine has caused a regression in the length of naps etc?

Hello,

Success! OH settled her after the four s plus 20 minutes of shush-pat, she slept for 40 mins...major break through....trying again this afternoon for 2nd success. the hard part will be tomorrow when I have to do it alone....

Zimm

Oh well done!!! It will feel horrible when you're on your own. Our naps have gone t**s up today and even though we know she's exhausted, she's just refusing to settle!!! Have had to resort to finger-sucking which hasn't happened for a few weeks now. One step forward, two steps back... :(

Zimm what I meant to say was it will feel horrible when you're on your own but stick with it!