The my baby won't nap sign here thread?

[Zimm]

Helllo all,

Until recently DD (6 months) would only nap in her pram, this worked ok-ish. Now even this seems to be failing, yesterday I paced for 1.5 hours to get her to take a 30 minute nap. NOTHING gets done during the day as I am constantly entertaining her. Her night sleep was fantastic (8pm-6am, 6.30am - 8.30am!) but all went wrong at sleep regression and we now have anywhere between 2 and 6 wakings.

I worry about the lack of naps affecting her and making her miserable.

So please sign here if you too have a nap refuser, maybe we can share ideas or just support each while our houses descend into a cloud of mess, phone call go unreturned and exhaustion from street-pacing kicks in!

Zimm

Hello ladies, sorry I've not checked in for ages & just caught up with all your posts.

toomuchtoyoung wishing your DH good health & sorry to hear he's not been well. Thanks so much for that website link. It's resulted in a bit of a breakthrough for us this afternoon...

DS has always been okay at night (only wakes to feed, re-settles quickly), but has almost never gone more than 45 mins (1 sleep cycle) during the day. I couldn't understand why. After reading the sleep tips on www.sleepyplanet.com/, I realised that despite the blackout blinds, his room is too light for him to get a good nap in the day. After his walk this afternoon, I put him into the bathroom, which has no windows & is the only room in the house I can make pitch black during daylight hours. He fell asleep at 14.15 & is still asleep now. I really hope this is a major breakthrough & not a fluke!
The only downside is that I now can't pee til he wakes up, but that's a small price to pay

Beijing, I wonder if the lighter mornings are making your LO wake up? Might be worth trying to make the room darker & see if this helps...

PatronSaintofDucks, it sounds like you're doing all the right things. I just wanted to say good luck to you!

How's it going for everyone else today?

Sorry - theotherhand I meant your LO re: early wakings!

theotherhand I can only tell you what I did, no idea if it would be helpful for you and your little one but hopefully!

(It is worth bearing in mind that there are growth spurts around 3 and 4 months that throw everything up into the air and so I made sure these were out of the way before I took a firm line with night feeding. Also we had serious feeding and weight issues so I have been quick to feed feed feed, but....)

I had your situation too and did what you did after two or three days she slept to a more reasonable time. I was absolutely prepared to feed her and put her back to bed if this did not work, but it did not come to that. I tend not to change the nappy now if dd wakes before 7am (unless dirty or leaky of course) as it wakes them up good and proper.

After this for quite a while dd woke at 6 ish but would lay quietly until it was about 6.30ish as if she knew it was not time! Then dh would take her and make the coffees with her, until she started shouting for food then he would bring her into me, she never seemed hungry before 7am, her last feed being a 10-30 or 11pm dreamfeed. Maybe this all helped to set her little body clock as...In recent weeks she is sleeping until 7am. With the hour change we have had to get her up just after 7. The reason being I've got her on a schedule now with feeds and naps which is not something I had intended and is a bit tedious, but it works and she's sleeping 12 hours a night just lately which is one mega result in my mind and therefore worth sticking with the regime!

This may not help as it is along the lines of what you are doing, but maybe try another day or two? If not try feeding in the hope that this will be dropped in the coming weeks? That's probably what I would have done as it is what my mum suggested to me, when I thought I was going to continue to have the early mornings. My sympathies though I HATE early mornings most especially after middle of the night wakings!

Hope this helps a bit

the only other thing I can think of is for only one of you to shushpat to settle early in the morning, as two parents might confuse/stimulate and make it more difficult to settle down to sleep again. Behaving as if it is the middle of the night (little as possible noise/activity/interaction between you, him and dh) might get ds to think that it is still night time, after all he has no idea what time it is.

Thanks so much Sedgiebaby, that's really helpful. You've confirmed what I already think. We also have got him onto a day routine after I realised he wasn't sleeping enough. It's a very simple routine of sleep, eat, play, but it works for him and us and he goes down well (now!) for almost 2 hours in the morning and same in afternoon - with the exception of some days when like life, it just doesn't always go to plan - and sometimes a 40 minute nap late afternoon.

So now that's sorted, I am keen to see him sleep as well as possible at night. I will feed if I have to - as I said, it's not about removing it for removal's sake - but because I don't think he's restless for food. So we'll try for a few more days and then if it still doesn't work, then feed him again.

As for the growth spurts, if he goes through them, then we'll deal with that as and when. He's had a different growth trajectory to most as he was in hospital early on and didn't thrive and then spent 2.5 months catching up. Like you I was a bit feed, feed, feed but it's not necessary now. He's piled on the pounds - and I think his spurts have been on a different time line. That said, he's doing amazingly and really, really thriving and contented.

Thanks again

oh sounds just like us, we were in hospital too at one month and she was nearly 5 months old before catching up with her birth centile - overshoot it in the end actually. Withholding night feeds was a real last step for me given all our problems early on, but when she clearly wasn't hungry until 11am or even later, I kind of knew it was time to cut down the night feeds!

Yes, it's hard when you have the 'failure to thrive' issue at any point early on. But my DS is ff and has generous portions throughout the day! The amount we were giving him at that middle-of-the-night feed was tiny in comparison to usual feed so it's not even as if he's getting any calories off it. But it is hard and as much as I know he's not hungry, I find it tough believing it!

sedgiebaby you're a gem. In all honesty what I really needed to hear was "yes, you can go cold turkey." I KNOW she can do it because I was doing it with her and then fell out of the habit and then her sleeps just got worse and worse and she was really resisting the change.

But...

GET THIS... she just fell asleep within 5 minutes of shhpat!

Really, thank you for your advice. I've re-read the thread in greater detail than I had before and am cracking open my BW book to read again.

I'm sure I'll be posting back to ask for more courage but I/we can do this!

Aaaagh! Why is it that sometimes it works and other times he lies in his cot with his eyes wide open as though he's wondering what on earth I want him to do???

Feel frustrated this week :-(

Sorry, just needed to vent

So I took him out of his cot, gave him a cuddle, and he fell asleep almost instantly. That was at 9.30am, he is still asleep now, at 11am.

I have had a bath, cleaned the kitchen, had a cup of tea and spent an imaginary fortune on posh baby clothes from the new JoJo catalogue.

Suddenly it all seems better again.

Ha! Brilliant Beela!

Morning!

Glad you are having some success sedgiebaby! And love the imaginary spending beela!

We have had a strange few days. DS had his 6 month jabs nearly 2 weeks ago, was a little bit behind due to a cold. Everything was fine until Saturday when he came up in a rash. All over his back and chest. He had a rough night the night before so took him to the docs, I thought it was a allergy rash but she took one look and said nope, I need a second opinion and got another doctor. At this point I could feel the panic. Thankfully, it was nothing. Maybe caused by the jabs or a viral rash. He's also got a cough which is due to the jabs.
I wasn't told of any side effects but apparently they come 10 and 21 days after the jabs.

I wrote last time about not letting him have a long afternoon nap and seeing if he slept better at night, well Monday he had no nap in the afternoon, he just wouldn't settle but slept much better at night.
He had a 2 hour morning nap and 1 hour yesterday and slept from 7pm - 6:30am last night! First time in a LONG time! OH fed him at midnight, he woke for his dummy at 5am (I don't class dummy trips as wake ups...he's still asleep just moaning for dummy!)

Hope everyone else is making progress, theotherhand I found as soon as the day naps were sorted, nights fell into place.

Zimm How are you getting on? :)

Hi all,

All gone very wrong due to teething, her poor gums are very swollen. So just focussing on us all getting some sleep at night - last couple of nighst I have fell asleep feeding her in bed (sat up) and remained like that for 3 hours!! Backache!!! So I am just waiting for this phase to pass and then will restart the naps. We did have a 1 hour one before it all went wrong so some progress was being made! *Imisslseep sounds like you are making wonderful progress..and you too *beela

Hoping to be back on the nap track soon....but with about 3 hours sleep a night for me for the last 3 nights I have not the strength....

Loving this thread and reading with interest. Haven't posted for a while though so apologies but its great to hear how you're all getting on.

Been following advice on here and today has been a major breakthrough - all three naps have been in the cot! On the first nap (always the hardest) he went down awake - didn't even cry - and slept for a whole hour! I just couldn't believe it. Then an hour and a half at lunch and an hour at 3.30! This thread has just been a lifesaver.....BUT.....nighttimes are a nightime. Sounds like I am very similar to Theotherhand and how sedgie was - DS goes down like a star at 7 but he wakes all through the night. Last night it was 9.30, 12, 3, 4, 5.30...... I've made it bad for myself though as I feed him to sleep and now he needs it to go off. We don't really have a feeding routine in the day either but we should right???? He's 16 weeks, 25th centile so should be going longer than 2 hours in the day shouldn't he? Tell me I need to stop feeding so much!

I would say stop feeding louby :o I work roughly on every 3 hours for DD (12w) in the day but obviously feed her more often if she wants to. I think I managed to get DD so tired by making her feed through her sleep cues sometimes. My dr says in theory they should manage 7 hours between feeds once they reach 5.5kg. To be clear that means one 7 hour stretch at night... not 7 hours between each feed.

Going ok here... yesterday she didn't feed to sleep once!

Haven't posted in a while, been a strange few weeks here.
I started back at work and DD at a childminders, then had tonsilitis, then another infection that went all through my system bringing me out in hives and swellings all over, then DD got d&v, learned to crawl and pull up and cut 3 teeth in as many weeks.

So eating, bfeeding, sleep and naps have all gone to shit the dogs!

Not been getting more than 3 hours at a stretch at night and major nap refusals during the day. Feels as though we have taken some massive steps backward and we are now rocking her to sleep, in the buggy, next to the tumble drier at 10.5 MONTHS OLD!

Have had a slightly better day today after she has spent 2 days with the childminder. A slight break in the teething has allowed her to sleep a bit better yesterday (apparently), which had a good effect on last night, which in turn had a good effect on todays naps (apparently she had 2 hours at lunchtime - NEVER happened for me at home since she was born). Albeit all in the buggy but fingers crossed its a step in the right direction...

Sending good nappin' vibes to all the thread babies...

hello all!

Over here sleep is going well. On most days, DS has 3 naps of between 45 and 90 minutes, and sometimes all three are in his cot! But if we are out and about then he sleeps in his buggy (snoozeshade on order as he has just realised he can grab the scarf I was using for a 'curtain'!).

Nightimes we usually have 1 waking but I can live with that, he is only 6 mo and still mainly BF.

A world away from when this thread first started :)

Now I am obsessed thinking about weaning instead of napping. Get one problem sorted and another challenge comes along! Fun though

How are all the rest of you getting along?

on 1 night waking and good naps.

Today DD managed 2 x 15minute naps until 16.30 when she 'crashed' for half and hour. I ended up leaving the car running with her napping in it, whilst I very stealthily unhooked my door key, and snuck inside to have her dinner ready for when she woke. Lucky we live in a small cul-de-sac and I parked right outside the house so I could see her, else I would have been stuck in the car for ages too.

Could really use a couple of weeks with her on my own finding out what the new nap routine is as I think she's transitioning. Not likely now back at work though so will just have to muddle through somehow..

Ok so I've spent the last 3 days reading through this thread as - you've guessed it - I have a terrible daytime napper. No more than 45 mins at a time (although will occasionally throw in the odd hour, hour and a half nap just to confuse me. But that's very very occasionally!) Some great tips on this thread, and thanks all for sharing them. Well done all those who have made progress! I have some questions though - mainly this shush pat. I must be doing it wrong as it doesn't seem to have the slightest effect on my DD. Just now I spent 30 mins vainly shushing and patting her in her cot while she weighed and screamed. PU PD didn't seem to work either as she started screaming again as soon as she felt me lift her down again. What am I doing wrong?!! I know she needs to learn to self soothe but I am not willing to leave her to cry, and don't understand how she can do it without a prop eg dummy or boob or rocking to sleep. She's 23 weeks which seems a bit late for sleep training but she was doing ok until 4 month sleep regression (and then 5 month growth spurt...) and now it's all gone to put. Taken her dummy away which I know doesn't help but she was just spitting it out and last night she did eventually manage to go down without it (after much screaming). I've been trying to put her down for her first nap for an hour now with no luck - ended up feeding her even though it was only 2 hours since her last feed but even that hasn't worked. She's now lying in her cot alternately cooing and whinging and she's now been awake for 2.5 hours which is WAY too long so she's overtired and GOD I can't take much more! Sorry if I'm hijacking slightly but really need some support and guidance. (doesn't help that MIL is downstairs doing my long overdue housework and muttering that I should just leave her to cry, and anyway babies don't need sleep in the daytime... Grrr...!)

Dreemagurl the shushpat and PUPD are from the baby whisperer, you might benefit from her book the 'solves all your problems' one if you want to persist with these techniques as there are long chapters on both. But with the PUPD you lay the baby down, all the way down even if she is crying and try to calm in the cot before picking up. If you don't she will associate crying with getting picked up. But I had limited success with PUPD, I use a bit of it but mainly the shushpat thing. The idea is that you are helping the baby control their crying and settle themselves rather relying on you to do that. These techniques are supposed to help without helping too much so that your help can later be withdrawn. But whatevery you do I would encourage you to do the same thing for all sleeps and be consistent, not switch what you are doing halfway because baby will only be confused.

Thanks sedgiebaby. I have got the BW book but haven't really found it that helpfully, possibly because DD hasn't yet read it :) Had slightly better success with shush pat for her second nap today, only took 20 mins to settle although she only slept for half an hour. Guess I'll just have to stay focused and remember it's for her own good. Thanks again

Bumping for suzym1984

dreemagurl - hope MIL has stopped muttering now!

Does DD sleep in her pushchair / in the car? I could only face persuading DS to take one cot nap a day to start with, and focussed on getting him into the habit of regular decent length naps rather than small catnaps by tramping the streets or taking ridiculous detours to spin out car journeys! It did seem to help and now (on good days) he will have 3 naps in his cot.

Still not great at the self-settling though, I usually rock him mostly to sleep and then put him into cot to finally nod off. This takes about 5-10 minutes, as opposed to up to 45 minutes if I put him into his cot wide awake, so I figure it is better for both of us, and we can work on self settling next.