The my baby won't nap sign here thread?

[Zimm]

Helllo all,

Until recently DD (6 months) would only nap in her pram, this worked ok-ish. Now even this seems to be failing, yesterday I paced for 1.5 hours to get her to take a 30 minute nap. NOTHING gets done during the day as I am constantly entertaining her. Her night sleep was fantastic (8pm-6am, 6.30am - 8.30am!) but all went wrong at sleep regression and we now have anywhere between 2 and 6 wakings.

I worry about the lack of naps affecting her and making her miserable.

So please sign here if you too have a nap refuser, maybe we can share ideas or just support each while our houses descend into a cloud of mess, phone call go unreturned and exhaustion from street-pacing kicks in!

Zimm

Hello girls,

Our daytime naps are getting much better - settled DS in the cot in only 10 mins yesterday, I think he is getting used to allowing himself to sleep in the daytime. Just got back from a coffee morning and he has stayed asleep in his car seat (he used to be wide awake within 2 seconds of the engine being switched off). He did this yesterday as well at around this time, so the idea of a lunchtime nap seems to be taking hold.

My policy on waking him is not to - I spend so much of my time trying to get him to sleep that it seems silly to wake him up after a set amount of time. I figure that if he's asleep it's because he needs to be.

So far so good... but nighttimes are a different matter at the moment. From 14-18 weeks he slept through from 7 til 5, which was fab. Then on the night of his 4 month 'birthday', he decided that was boring and for the last 3 weeks we've been having 3-4 wake ups per night, usually 11, 2, 5. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep with a bit of shushing and a dummy, but generally I feed him straight away because if I try for 30 mins to get him to sleep and then feed him it feels like 30 mins 'wasted'! I guess it's classic 4 month sleep regression, but am wondering about trying him with some baby rice (he is ebf at the moment) to see if that helps. Any thoughts? (he is now 20 weeks).

Hi beela All I would say is be careful not to get him feeding to sleep like I did with dd. What started out probably genuine hunger became, 'I need a booby when I stir in the night'. In the end I decided to take night feeds 'in hand' for starters I wouldn't offer a feed if it had been x no of hours since the last. The wakings got better but it was painful, then more recently I dream feed instead halfway through the night, then every waking sees baby settled without food.

Sounds a bit harsh but she wasn't a) sleeping or b) hungry in the morning sometimes until 11am when I fed loads at night. BTW I still have some NW issues but only started the dream feed 3 days ago, she wakes once after, and fairly soon after so its not hunger. We are working on this!!

Please (if you don't mind zimm) could I ask those who have been following for a while these questions, just because the thread is so long now and this would really help me and maybe others:

1)Have your naps or nights improved since joining the thread?

b) What ideas have worked for you

ME:

Yes, both but especially naps - and hugely so

i)Stopping feeding to sleep, using shushpat, setting in the cot as much as possible

ii)Being ready to put baby down sooner than I think she needs it (about 15 mins sooner) so we are winding down well in advance and I'm ready to swoop into action as soon as I see any eye rubbing

iii) Having a little routine for all sleeps (book, closing curtains, swaddle, shush..)

iv) Using DH to settle baby in the evenings if she wakes - somehow better than me!

v) Letting her have a whinge/cry (not distressed) before naps and after 40 mins to see if she goes back again (this was a total revelation to me as I was super sensitive to any crying of any description)

vi) Keep her calm as much as possible in the day (prone to over excitment/over stimulation)

I can't give any advice about swaddling as DD hates it as well.

Beela I think we are in similar places right now. I have been doing the feeding thing as her crying just seems to escalate and am aware that DP gets up so early for work. Am thinking I need to address it though as sure she can't be hungry at 2:30am, 4am etc.

Sedgiebaby here are my responses, v similar to you:

1. Naps have improved massively, from the odd 10 mins on me after a feed here and there and in the pram, to regular 1 -2 hour naps in the cot.

i] combination of pick up put down and shushpat while lying on her tummy

ii] not giving up so quickly when settling her for a nap (without this thread I would prob have given up and got her back up thinking she was not actually tired)

iii) simple but clear routine before naps

iv] not getting her up after 40 mins (same as you Sedgiebaby - she usually settles again after a bit of shushpat.

v] 1st nap of the day about 1.5 hours after waking

vi] baby massage in the evening seems to have helped a bit with the night wakings

Thanks Geordigirl I will be absolutely definitely doing a massage tonight.

Also, I should add as I forgot, I also I employed PU/PD with shushpat as you did (not really hard core PU/PD because it would upset her if I didn't get her properly calm before the PD)

1. what geordiegirl said, a massive improvement in daytime naps from random 10 minutes and car/buggy naps to 1-2 hours in cot. No change as yet with night wakings.

i) mainly not giving up so quickly when trying to settle him for a nap, and having confidence that he is tired, and he will go to sleep eventually and we will both feel better for it

ii) Having a bit of a nap routine has helped

iii)I make sure he is fed and changed as part of the routine, so that I can be sure that his grizzles are about tiredness rather than anything
else (links to (i), means I carry on going).

iv) being on this thread has helped enormously, knowing that it is not just me!

Hello. I swaddle ds for all sleeps now (major propping going on I'm sure) and we keep him in it by double swaddling. So, inside the outer blanket I take a smaller square receiving blanket, fold into a triangle. The long edge goes across his shoulders with the point pointing down towards his legs.

I secure his arms with this first and then I wrap him in the normal swaddle. He still breaks out of it eventually but it usually lasts a good 4-5 hours at least.

Without a swaddle he can't sleep, his arms just flail around!

Hello all,

Well we have made some nap progress in that buggy naps have improved - i purchased a snoozeshade (buggy blackout thing) and this helps her drop off in 5 minutes in the buggy rather than the usual 30! stationary naps I continue to try most days but so far no luck :( :( :(

Last night we had 3 wakings so her previous sleep through may have been a one off - tanked her full of food tonight to see if that does the trick.

My answers:

1)Have your naps or nights improved since joining the thread?

Naps have improved in that I have identified her pattern - half an hour at 9ish and a longer lunchtime nap, plus catnap around 3 but I cannot always get her to take those (even in buggy). Nights are somewhat improved in that I have been motivated to break feed to sleep association and she will sometimes re-settle herself if she wakes.

b) What ideas have worked for you

Getting OH to settle her
Trying to get a nap in shortly after waking, even though it is on me!

Am very glad I started this thread as it has given me support and hope!

Interesting what you say vix as I think your baby is older than mine, my dd is 5 months this wk and clearly still needs a swaddle. I just could not believe how much she was thrashing about last night when I watched her.

I've purchased a Woombie hope to have it for the weekend. I have high hopes for it and it had better come through at nearly £30. I've managed a long time with a cot sheet but it keeps unraveling so hopefully this is the answer

zimm just to say that I'm really pleased you started the thread too because its helped me keep going with my efforts and I've found the different ideas really helpful.

Sedgiebaby yea my ds is 6 months. I don't think any of the special wrap things go up to his size so I'm just using mothercare cellular blankets and they work very well for us.

Our naps are frustrating because I just can't get him past 40 mins and often only get to 30 mins three times a day when I am aiming for 3 hours total nap time in a day. However, he now sleeps in his cot at night waking only between 1 and 3 times and that is a huge improvement.

Zimm I also want to thank you for starting this thread - it has really transformed our daytimes and think in the longrun it will really help nights as well. Has been great to have such support from everyone and I look forward to hearing some more success stories. Wishing you all good sleep tonight ! :)

Yesterday a nap experiment (dont flame me for this) but I tried Gina Fords schedule - it just happened to suit my day as I had to go to clinic in the afternoon.

It seemed a bit mad as I had to wake her for all 3 naps (I wouldn't have said THAT before this thread started) anyway I did:

9-10am
12-2pm
4-5pm

Bed 19.15, and guess what - she slept through, not counting her dream feeed at 00:30!! Got up at 06:50.

What with the news yesterday that baby has finally caught up with her birth centile (the 91st, having been at the 9th at one point because of feeding issues which saw us in hospital) I'm happy as could be!!

Morning all,

Well DS is having his first nap of the day, and not before time as that was the worst nights sleep we've had since he was a newborn

He went to bed at 7 with no problem but then woke at 11.45, 12.45, 4.10 and then every 10 minutes until 5.30, then was awake until 8am. I think teething is the problem as he is all rosy-cheeked and his poos are really smelly. A very early night for me tonight I think, in case we get a repeat performance.

Hope you all had better nights than us, and good luck with your napping today!

Zimm - thanks from me as well for this thread . It's interesting that your black out for the buggy has worked, I often use whatever scarf I a wearing as a sort of drape over the buggy and that seems to help.

vix I found one! The woombie convertible in the 'mega baby' size is 20-25lb., its new and (they tell me) selling out like mad. I'll let you know if it's any good should arrive by the wkend.

sedgie = cross posted. Great news!!

beela Thanks!! I'm as smug as!

Sorry for the terrible night. I have been there, I know that much. But every time you put baby back to bed, back to bed, back to bed - I reckon you are reinforcing that nights are for sleeping and mummy means business. Also, it probably does not feel like it right now, but there are some good stretches of sleep listed there in your post showing that he can settle through the lighter stages of sleep (at one point I'm convinced my dd couldn't do this)

Also teething is a problem here, I'm having to rely more than I would wish to on pain relief, but I've tried going without...and its not just sleep, but her appetite goes, and she's positively miserable. I've grilled GP and HV about safety etc and (relatively) OK with using calpol and infant ibuprofen, I don't see an alternative. But its a personal thing...

-

Just to add re last night, I did the massage Geordiegirl suggested and as per vix's suggestion, I tucked up baby extra tight with a sheet over the blankets which had a bit more purchase and stayed intact stopping arms flaying, like to think these things helped.

Ok I have read the first page of thread and I'm in a bit of a rush so here is my twopence worth. Sorry if I am repeating anything here.

My first two were brilliant nappers (clearly because I was fantastic ). My youngest is 18 months and has been appossed to napping right from the word go. It is not so much that she wouldn't nap just that she would cat nap and never drop off again. Now we have just got to the stage where she wants to drop the day time nap all together. Both my Boys kept theirs right up unill 3years old or later!
I am doing the same with her as the boys but she is having non of it. She sleeps well at night so maybe she has enough for her needs then. I now firmly think that part of it is due to the parenting but if you have a child who just doesn't nap you aren't going to change that no matter how you try.

Thanks sedgie - I gave him a dose of calpol at 12.45, perhaps I should have given a repeat dose later on.

I know that he used to be able to do it - we had a blissful 4 weeks of 7-5, it's all gone to pot now!

Will get some ibuprofen today too and see if that helps.

Morning ladies!

So good to read we are making some progress with naps/night sleep :)

beela - DS was the same with teething, try some Calpol. Really helped.

sedgiebaby - AMAZING!! Well done, hope it lasts.

Our naps and night time sleep have massively improved. I think its all down to the number of day time naps he's having. Everything has just fallen into place.

My answers :

1)Have your naps or nights improved since joining the thread?
Yes!! Not just for DS, but its so comforting knowing that we are all in the same boat.

b) What ideas have worked for you

Everything has helped. But the main thing is giving him a pillow. Really helped.
And making the first nap of the day 1.5 hours after wake up.

Thank you Zimm! :)

beela you can stagger both quite safely according to my HCP's. e.g. if not time for Calpol, and it's a bad teething day give IBU after a suitable interval where pain relief seems needed again. The Nurofen one is about 10 p more than the generic comes with a syringe which is a lot easier.

Morning/afternoon everyone

My answers would be

1). Naps are improving but still a challenge but I've only really started at tts beginning of the week. The biggest change has been getting her to sleep within 2 hours of waking. Never even thought of this an option given that she was a relatively good nightime sleeper and in the mornings was wide awake and seemed up for playtime. Now I'm trying anything to get her to sleep longer than a catnap.

And the biggest help has been this thread, now I know I'm not going mad!

2. Ideas that have worked: My biggest success was when we introduced sleeps with a background noise playing continuously. Calmed dd down straight away and kept her asleep when she would have normally woken up. Worked well on me too, but now she's moved into her own room I have trouble getting back to sleep after a night feed

Thanks again for this thread. May the napping continue

sedgie -what fantastic news! My DD had to work her way to her birth centile also, we had feeding issues.

Naps today:

9am - 25 mins on me
12.00pm - 40ish mins in buggy thanks to snooze shade
3.45pm - 30 mins, buggy snooze shade miracle.

But still no stationary sleep :-( :-( :-(
I think I need to get tough, have a clear nap routine and do it everyday until it works, trouble is i find the whole process so upsetting and frustrating,

She went to bed at 7.45 but OH has just gone to re-settle her...hoping we are not in for a bad night. Last night was actually quite good in that we had only 1 night waking..

Ds had mother of early starts this morning. He did 8 hours sleep til 2.50 and has refused to sleep since then (well ok the odd Catnap). Not like him at all, naps were amazing yesterday. I think he's teething though although he's not been crying, more incessant chattering. And it's all dadada never mamama!