MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

[JustineMumsnet]

We wanted to put together a humourous yet telling guide for Mumsnet newbies, full of practical advice on how to get along in Mumsnet land.

You know the type of things...

Opening posts/ nicknames/ topics to avoid until you get the hang of it. Or don't post on AIBU if you don't want to hear that you are? Or please don't use textspeak/do use punctuation and paragraphs/ don't call people Hun.

Many many thanks. We'll bung it altogether one day soon.

Thank you in advance oh kind and good Mumsnetters.

Listen to you long-termers
not surprising newbies are terrified sometimes!

@ dizzy- I also know what disingenuous means from the Moldie threads!

kidney infection crappy.

drugs are making me high tho....which is either good or bad in any given situation......not sure which way I want it to work tho at the mo!

girls are about to go cheerleading tho, so am off...................

fuckit I did try further up to introduce some dos instead of don'ts but I fell flat on my face lol

Check out "search for messages" before starting a thread, you may just find that your proposed topic has already been thought of.

Please do not swear on thread titles.

Expect to get ignored until people recognise your posting name.

If you are on Mumsnet, chances are you know your way around the internet, if you have a simple query, why not use google instead of starting a thread about "where can I buy/get xxxx?"

Do: keep the Good Housekeeping threads active if you become very addicted quickly- at least you will learn how to make it look like you've been doing something useful all day (note to self: take own advice)

BitOfFun you're just showing off now

KM was it alright this morning? Hope all clear etc.

ah well dizzyd, i suppose thats whats meant when the elders mention being ignored
I'd like to add though: If you find something offensive - click on the red '!'

Do: at least grunt at your husband or partner occasionally if you are mumsnetting from a phone or laptop all the way through the DVD you picked together. If he asks what's going on on mumsnet that's so fascinating, you must say we are swapping sex tips.

and to further BitOfFun

your DH/DP etc will at first raise eyebrows and sigh when you sign on but after about say a year or so, he'll want to know what has finally called her baby and if * managed to tell their unreasonable mother to sod off

its like the celebrity magazines all over again, they pretend not to read them and sneak them in the loo when they think you're not looking

elder?!? I haven't even had my anny yet

'Try not to get too cross if you post a thoughtful and intelligent post that gets completely ignored, only to have a regular make the same point with lots of "oooo, you are so right XXXX" comments after it.'

Ah what happens to me (3 times this week alne PMSL)
is that I post it then Hecate does also and everyopne says 'Gopod post Hecate'

Mutters 'bloody hecate all the bloody time>>

Me neither dizzy! Which just goes to show the newbies how quickly you can find your feet and crawl up your own arse learn the ropes around here

If you are going to bitch about another mumsnet member have the balls to do it under your regular posting name rather than namechange. Bitching under a namechange just makes you look pathetic.

Podrick, not just on Style & Beauty I'm pretty sure

"bloody hecate" ??!!!

3 times in a week? Really? I actually feel GUILTY!!!!

And you are as much a 'regular' as I am, Peachy!

oh well said, hecate! I totally agree

Cheers squonk, make her MORE mad!!!!

make who more mad?

Never forget that there are real people and real lives behind every poster. Even if you wildly disagree with someone else, don?t let the anonymity of the internet lead you away from being respectful and caring in misguided sense of "justified honesty".

Quite right Lemontart - if people were as 'honest' in rl as they are on here, the a&e depts would be PACKED full of people with broken noses

For those who post about finance in AIBU
Xenia has interesting things to say, expresses herself well and swims against the tide often.
She is not deliberately trying to wind you up but rather offering the benefit of her life experience.

Cod is a mumsnet legend I never had the pleasure of meeting. (But others did and speak of her and therefore I believe in her and her good works especially in the style threads) We secretly worship her as a website which I enjoy as I've never been in anyway religious and it gives my life purpose.

if a thread is making you froth at the mouth, hide it

if you have ulcers, hide AIBU