Ageism should be against Talk Guidelines

[Somethingbland]

In the past there has been a lot of disquiet about the blatant ageism on MN.

Today I have been extremely annoyed by a blatantly and unashamedly ageist thread in AIBU about dressing " like an old lady"
I reported the thread and of course was told by MN the thread is allowed to stand because it doesn't contravene Talk guidelines.
But why doesn't it? Why does MN see ageism as perfectly acceptable? It's a total disgrace in my eyes.

I was amongst the first women who were affected by the change in retirement law and was so unable to retire at 60 as had been the norm previously. The discrimination I experienced as an older woman amongst predominantly younger staff was extremely upsetting . To be a figure of fun and contempt because of your age is no joke. And yet MN is apoarently happy to enable such views on this site

I don’t think it’s ageist to be described as dressing like an old lady. It’s the clothing choice that’s being described, not the person, in the same way as describing dressing like a goth, or punk, or a cyclist, or any other group. All equally valid ways of dressing.
And some clothes are designed for older people who might have difficulty dressing due to declining mobility or for comfort- elasticated waists, slip on shoes etc. No-one ever wants to wear them, but sometimes needs must. A young woman wearing some of these garments would be described as dressing like an old lady.

i do think though that there is a lot of ageism on mumsnet, disrespect and spiteful comments towards older people, this should be addressed

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/beauty/this-41-year-old-woman-looks-like-a-teenager-and-heres-how/articleshow/59440514.cms
It can happen!

Lure Hsu might wang on about water and sunscreen, but freak genetics are doing the heavy lifting here. Here she is at 41, on the right. The woman on the left is her sister Sharon, 36. In the middle is their mother at 63.

Because they will not be able to access their own pensions until a much older age. I have seen this view on MN, including on this thread, and I do understand where they are coming from. And yes, life was different for women born in the 50s, and I understand that too.

Yes I do think there is ageism on Mumsnet. If we replaced the word "boomer" with "working class" or "traveller" for example I'm sure there would be much more virtue signalling.

But that's you assuming everyone of 70 dresses the same. I don't think everyone of 20 has the same style.

And presumably when you're 70 you don't know how you'll dress? The same as you do now? Maybe. Or same as when you're 45? Or in a completely different way? Or in a way you perceive all 70 year olds to dress now?! Or maybe you'll just follow fashion like a lot of people do regardless of age?

some clothes are designed for older people who might have difficulty dressing

So what you're really saying is that you don't want to dress like a person with disabilities? It's nonsense that young people prefer uncomfortable clothes, so we're left with 'declining mobility'.

It's also a nonsense idea that there's some sort of uniform for people with reduced mobility, of course.19-year-olds and 69-year-olds have access to the same clothing as everyone else, and they'll both choose looser options if their bodies won't let them move so much.

So, yes, you might choose never to wear joggers, pull-on skirts or sliders if you associate them with 'dressing like a disabled person'. You'd be a bit bonkers, though, and I wouldn't advise saying it out loud in public.

Mind you, if you fancy a laugh at me, pop on over here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5550987-today-im-dressed-like-an-old-lady

I didn’t say that at all.
People can wear joggers, sliders etc at all ages. I’ve never seen anyone other than elderly people in tartan slippers with Velcro fastenings though.

I've never seen anyone in them! I'm an elderly person surrounded by elderly people, and my extremely elderly mum died this year in a nursing home full of equally old people.

Thinking about it, I'll grant you trainers with side zips. I bought a pair when I injured an ankle, and have held on to them 'just in case' 👀 But nobody wears the beige polyester bags and Velcro slippers you're imagining! You're so far off the mark with the slippers, it wouldn't be surprising if they make their way back as ironically cool yoof footwear before long.

It still comes back to this: 'dressing like an old lady' implies that older women wear some kind of uniform, and that it's ugly. This is stereotyping. It's insulting. Don't do it.

Lots of people dress in a uniform way. We live near a secondary school with a strict uniform policy.
on non uniform days, the students still dress in a uniform way- jeans, hoodies, trainers and backpacks.
They are stereotyping themselves in order to belong to and conform to a group.
It occurs in every demographic and is not insulting in any way, so do not command me not to do something as you did.
How prickly your responses are @SomeGarlic maybe the heat is getting to you, I suggest you go and have a lie down with a fan on. Meanwhile I shall go and sort out my wardrobe and throw out my crimplene pull ons and tartan slippers.

Ageism is absolutely rife on this site.

I totally agree @DogGawn and I apologise if I have somewhat derailed the thread by being drawn into discussions about clothing.

I started the thread @Lifelover16 and as far as I'm concerned i found the discussion on clothing was interesting and relevant so don't apologise.

No idea why I'm still bothering, but anyway ...

They are stereotyping themselves in order to belong to and conform to a group. It occurs in every demographic

There's a difference between group identification and external stereotyping. If the same teenagers make friends with kids from another area or school, whose group wears shiny 'football' leisure suits or chunky 'roadman' gear, they will adopt that look while in that group.

Talking about what old people wear, as if they were an homogeneous mass, is the same as talking about what teenagers wear - which teenagers? Which old people?

It's worse, actually, because you're only a teen for ten years while 'elderly' covers about 30 years. Have you thought about what 20-50 year olds wear? What does that look like, is it a picture you can quickly sketch and everyone will know what you mean?

is not insulting in any way

Sure, sure. So you're equally happy to talk about dressing ...
like a black woman;
like a lesbian;
like a Jew or a Christian;
like you're autistic;
like someone with disabilities;
like a trans woman
... are you?
Are these perfectly reasonable, neutral remarks that you happily make in public, knowing everyone will get it?

This.. I’m still gonna be wearing my skinny jeans and short dresses in my 60s.

Hang on, 60 is an "old lady"? I am in my late 30's and find that alarming!

I have a friend in her mid 50's, and we both dress the same. Is she suddenly going to go pop and turn into a babushka at midnight on her 60th birthday?

Should I warn her?

I'm almost 67 and not wearing velcro tartan slippers. I haven't had a blue rinse either. Am I doing old age wrong then?

Mutton dressed as lamb!

Get in the bin.

Vote Binface!

He's quite stylish. I think I'll dress like him when I'm 60.

Fgs! I am old and at the garden centre today pulled myself back from looking at the granny clothes. There are brands/styles that appeal to the older woman. My aunt (96) was laughing that she had bought something from Bon Marche and would she look too old?!

As for waspi women - shut up!!!! My retirement age is 67. My dcs have whacking great student loans. We’re all about to be clobbered with a raft of new taxes. The goal posts move all the time. It’s awful - but waspi women are not special.

I was idly wondering what it would like to be Mrs Binface, and AI gave me this:

Mrs Binface would likely look like a regal, intergalactic space warrior matching the satirical, trash-themed aesthetic of her hypothetical husband, Count Binface.

Because Count Binface is a fictional character portrayed by comedian Jon Harvey, "Mrs Binface" does not officially exist. However, based on the Count's iconic electoral attire, we can imagine her design using parallel sci-fi tropes and British rubbish culture:

The Helmet (The Core Look)

• A Pedal Bin Tiara: Instead of the Count’s giant grey wheelie/dustbin helmet, Mrs Binface might sport a sleeker, kitchen-style stainless steel pedal bin.
• The Visor: Her helmet would feature a similar dark, rectangular viewing slot, possibly adorned with stick-on rhinestones or a mock tiara welded onto the lid for a royal touch.

Intergalactic Royal Attire

• The Cape: While the Count wears a flowing silver and black cape, Mrs Binface would likely elevate this to an elegant, floor-length ballgown cape made entirely of premium, heavy-duty black bin liners or sparkling foil space blankets.
• The Armour: She would wear matching black and silver foam-padded space armour, complete with exaggerated shoulder pads fashioned from recycling boxes or upside-down litter trays.

Accessories & Flair

• The Sceptre: Instead of a laser blaster, she might carry a golden robotic litter-picker as a royal sceptre.
• The Sash: A mayoral-style ceremonial sash across her armour, reading "Make Earth Clean Again" or "Planet Sigma IX Royalty".

That is fantastic.

@Lifelover16apologies - I had nothing to say on the clothing as I’m probably one of the people that was being talked about 😂 but just wanted to air my support for the OP!

@DogGawn so did I ! No need for an apology