Ageism should be against Talk Guidelines

[Somethingbland]

In the past there has been a lot of disquiet about the blatant ageism on MN.

Today I have been extremely annoyed by a blatantly and unashamedly ageist thread in AIBU about dressing " like an old lady"
I reported the thread and of course was told by MN the thread is allowed to stand because it doesn't contravene Talk guidelines.
But why doesn't it? Why does MN see ageism as perfectly acceptable? It's a total disgrace in my eyes.

I was amongst the first women who were affected by the change in retirement law and was so unable to retire at 60 as had been the norm previously. The discrimination I experienced as an older woman amongst predominantly younger staff was extremely upsetting . To be a figure of fun and contempt because of your age is no joke. And yet MN is apoarently happy to enable such views on this site

So you have a different style to your mother. My DDs style isn’t very different to mine.

Why did I know this was going to be a Waspi moan?

I agree with there being ageism sometimes (and it goes both ways, there'ssime against younger women, too), but as soon as anyone says how hard done by they are because the retirement age changed, my sympathy drops to zero.

So does my mum! There’s definitely some trousers of hers I’d like to wear but she has different insecurities and covers different areas. It’s not ageist to recognise that.

Ironically this thread is against talk guidelines as it’s a thread about a thread!

Sure it’s not.

It’s not ageist to point out different age groups have different styles.

I don’t even slightly think of myself as a ‘victim’ and neither do any of the women of my age and older I know.

Yet you’re here saying it’s “ageism” to say older women have a different style to younger!

Thread about threads aren’t against talk guidelines. It’s a common misconception - what isn’t allowed is threads rehashing deleted threads.

But there would be other situations where I’d see ageism against younger people.

’Do I look like an old lady?’ is exactly the sort of things my friends and I might say to each other about clothes. I can’t imagine being offended by this.

I think the older generation on MN love moaning and sneering, about younger generations and expect everything to be like it was in “their day”

things like:
I managed to buy a house in my day, stop buying coffee and you can too
Young people who can’t find employment are lazy
We never did that with kids in my day, todays parents bla bla bla
Kids make to much noise in their own gardens
DILs are awful because they have rules about their own kids
Baby names are awful nowadays
Comments about how young girls dress

There are many ageist posts and threads on Mumsnet.

Plenty against older people but just as many about younger people too.

I always find the threads about age of pregnancy the most startling - they routinely end up being incredibly rude about older mothers and also incredibly rude about anyone who had their kids under around 23/24. It's always personal and nasty.

Mumsnet just loves it's ageism. It'll never give it up. It's a certainty as strong as that MN will always accept racism around travellers.

Sometimes I like to tell people on here that I was born on the road as a traditional traveller and was married with 2 children by 22 just to cause a shit storm (it's true, but that's not normally why I say it!). Discriminatory views in every direction straight away, every time. All just out of concern, I'm sure 😂.

Some shit is just accepted on here. It not being a twat. It's 'reasonable views built on observations and knowledge,' not just discriminatory ideas. Aye... right...

It's those sort of posts that bring the clicks and outrage and thus add revenue. MN will only stop it if their forced to legally, I'd imagine. You don't get a Penis beaker thread every day, after all.

Just shit stir when you see it - it's much more fun.

If your mother has a different style that's great.
That's totally different from saying your mother dresses like all the women of her age group and different from saying she dresses in a style which you consider something to be "frumpy " or inferior which was the premise of the other thread .

I dont want this to become a thread about another thread.

I was incensed by the blatant ageism of the other thread but unfortunately ageism is rife on MN. I can remember various threads where in all seriousness OPs have talked about being old and past it at 30 or younger. And this is really important stuff at a time when there is so much emphasis on being young and looking young is the only thing that appears to matter.

All women matter. And we should be ensuring on MN that women aren't dismissed and derided and stereotyped because of age

It was ever thus with every generation!

That’s a complete mischaracterisation of MN and its users. It’s a rather ironic statement too seeing as you are sneering at and moaning about ‘the older generation’.

The thing is it isnt necessarily pejorative. Old lady, old man, teenager, toddler. The person was talking about stereotypical clothes of different ages and generations.

My mum is in her 70s and worries about dressing like an ‘old lady’. It’s more like the style.

It’s not ageism. It’s just a fact. I’m in my 20s and don’t want to dress like I’m 70.

In my opinion it’s not, I see it all the time. I’m not sneering at the older generation (you have no idea how old I am). I was pointing out its not just the younger generation who is ageists on here

And I imagine it will go on for all of time

Firstly, I think the thread in question was ageist.

Secondly, I am sick of seeing the term "boomer" used on this site in a pejorative way and it being allowed to stand.

Thirdly, I am almost 66 and still working. I love my work and have not experienced any snark due to my age, despote exoressing concern about what I consider the over-reliance on AI. I feel I am respected by younger colleagues. I am delighted that the retirement age was increased. I went back to work in my early 40s and it gave me a good crack at a second career.

Lastly, as one of those of us who have been here since it were all fields and who enabled Justine's success in the early days, are in or heading to our 60s, I would venture that a little more support for our demographic should be forthcoming.

My mum, who died in her nineties, always dressed in a very smart way. She talked about "old lady" style, and didn't want to wear anything that could be construed as such.

And it was a definite style, the floral nightie with trim for instance, or the dress that looked like it came from a bygone era.

She wore clothes that I was never going to wear, but they weren't "old lady" clothes.

I can see how the other thread was ageist and I am definitely more aware of ageism as I get older.

It’s like most things, it doesn’t feel like a real issue until it’s you. I’m not sure it’s the same in every country, it seems some cultures really value their older generation’s life experience and knowledge.

I thought of this book which was recommended on another thread yesterday - looks worth a read https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hags-Eloquent-clever-devastating-TIMES/dp/0349726981/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3KS3OSLRZX7XO&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.d3y8f6EBp7SkR9PukUlSmPzPripqROMYRxhVgc4CBkUo6EUoCuSm3oA0wd7ZKJvoHSFIy05QliW-vI4QjmVSZJ7tm9psSaOB0wiAY6gTtb4R5Y2GeUA2Bz-BroD-1jqIHoEcC04ZpkVzE4nHWGzW0w4H-cITXZpgfk1s-ZAikmfakeDFOpJirRVvqeamfeDE1PzbnGX3pmTXKO3LHc8i0g.lkWGMELZJUHq4d9YhYSZdEB7AkeavzgUjIi_u03AVsA&dib_tag=se&keywords=hags&qid=1780164970&sprefix=%2Caps%2C2315&sr=8-1

No it was being used to indicate a style typically worn by women if an older demographic. Like dressing like a teen is dressing like a girl of a younger demographic. Trying to pretend people don’t dress differently oh the whole at different life stages is silly and it’s not ageist to say it.

I just don’t see the insinuation it meant frumpy. The dress is frumpy on the op, but when you say someone dresses like a teen, or an old lady, or a mum, it’s a uniform typical of that age range.

for ageism to be taken seriously. As it is important you need to actually fight real battles, not run round your living room screaming there was a negative connotation thay was never said.