Ageism should be against Talk Guidelines

[Somethingbland]

In the past there has been a lot of disquiet about the blatant ageism on MN.

Today I have been extremely annoyed by a blatantly and unashamedly ageist thread in AIBU about dressing " like an old lady"
I reported the thread and of course was told by MN the thread is allowed to stand because it doesn't contravene Talk guidelines.
But why doesn't it? Why does MN see ageism as perfectly acceptable? It's a total disgrace in my eyes.

I was amongst the first women who were affected by the change in retirement law and was so unable to retire at 60 as had been the norm previously. The discrimination I experienced as an older woman amongst predominantly younger staff was extremely upsetting . To be a figure of fun and contempt because of your age is no joke. And yet MN is apoarently happy to enable such views on this site

Does she dress the same as all other 60 year old women? Do all women your age dress the same?

They? Are they all the same?

Does she at 60 relish being called a “little old lady”?

I often report threads on Mumsnet for being ageist. However I’m almost 60 and often say ‘I don’t want to dress like an old woman’. Or similar. I didn’t think the post was ageist. There is enough ageism without worrying about something like this.

@spendyspend I'm 66, dd 28. We have different styles. She's quirkier and girlier than I ever was. My mum had true style.

Yes exactly this! Shouldn’t we all be on the same side?

I didn’t see the thread so maybe it was clearly derogatory in context.

But “dressed like a Pakistani lady” isn’t inherently unacceptable. Not unless you think Pakistani denotes inferior, or that it’s rude to notice that people from different places dress differently. Obviously it’s broad brush but that’s not a hanging offence either.

But: “X is like Y” doesn’t mean that all Y are the same. Not to anyone sensible anyway.

I'm 70 and I don't want to dress like an old lady.
And I'm not offended by the reference.

I don't think that thread was ageist.

Fwiw I've been on Gransnet recently and they were discussing how "younger women" in leopard print were "tarty"

Swings and roundabouts

They are not all the same but there are trends. If we dressed some mannequins in clothes owned by 20 year olds and clothes owned by 60 year olds chances are you would be able to tell which outfit was owned by who. I don't know why everyone has to pretend that they don't see these trends?

I agree that there is a lot of ageism on MN. It is tolerated far too often, in a way that other forms of discrimination are not.

Hush Puppies? I am nearly 70 and haven’t seen a pair of those for at least 30 years. Do they even still exist?
They do, and I have a beautiful pair of Hush Puppies long brown boots from a year or two back (age 37 if relevant).

Some older people very much need to grow up.

How so?

On the WASPI thread there were numerous posts from women born in the first half of the 1950s saying that they didn’t agree with the WASPI campaign and that they had been informed of the changes in plenty of time.
Some posters still banged on about entitled boomers, completely ignoring that there were a variety of opinions.
It’s the generalisations that are ageist.
I don’t think the style thread is the worst example but I do notice that when relationships are discussed older women get a rough ride on here and negative assumptions are made.
There’s a lot of ageism on MN and it doesn’t get taken seriously. It’s the stereotyping that’s the issue. I haven’t noticed that many posts from older people complaining about the younger generation to be honest. I don’t go on Gransnet though.

Can you explain what you mean?

Exactly. The insistence that there’s no difference between the styles worn by 20 somethings and 60 or 70 somethings is just not rooted in reality, and actually betrays a deep insecurity about being older. It’s pure denial.

It's not about differences. It's about stereotyping and denigration. Old women are assumed to all dress in a similar style, and that style is deemed ugly. Both of these judgements are insulting.

But maybe some PPs are the same ones who, on another thread, couldn't see what was wrong with a statement that black women don't swim because of their elaborate hairstyles.

Well it probably is ugly to a 20 year old. Just like the threads here about leggings or leggings with short tops or short shorts etc that 20yr olds might wear where they are deemed ugly. People have different tastes and those things tend to change as you age whether that's fashion or wine or food and people often describe things they don't like as ugly or chopped or whatever denigrating word you want to put in there.

So should ableism and transphobia, but you know, these things bring traffic and revenue, so mn allow them.

@Trackstar Yeah.
So they could say it's ugly, or too loose or it's old-fashioned (all of which they probably mean). Or keep it simple with it doesn't suit your figure.

See? All clothing-specific, with no need to reference 20% of women as emblems of ugliness.

Or they could say that it looks grannyish and everyone will know what they mean. Just like some people might describe someone as dressed like a teenager or reference the mum uniform or dressed like a grandad or say someone is dressed like they are going on a cruise and everyone will know what they mean.

The question is why grannies care that younger people might think that their clothes are ugly? I thought mumsnet was full of women insisting that after the menopause they dgaf what people think of them? Seems like you are never too old to be insecure and seeking validation.

Seems like you are never too old to be insecure and seeking validation.

FFS, is that all you can see here? Nobody's said we think we look like teenagers, nobody's said we're all gorgeous, we aren't that bloody stupid or desperate.

Being aware of discrimination and negative stereotyping against your demographic is not the same as demanding compliments & pats on the head 😡 Do you accuse brown-skinned people, LGB and those with disabilities of seeking validation or is it only clever to dismiss & patronise old people?

I can't describe what a pain in the arse it is to always be in the vanguard of fighting prejudice. We started work without equal pay, continued on to win the rights & freedoms women now enjoy (and take for granted), and we're still having to battle for recognition as fully human beings - in this case, against the same women whose rights we bloody got for them!

Not validation. Basic respect.

Utter bollocks