Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

This.

And even if all the childless women left it still wouldn’t be a space for just mums - there would still be dads here.

What is fundamentally wrong with the idea of a place for mums to chat with each other, without someone keeping an eye on us?

Some mums: childless people just dont understand what its like being a parent

Some childless people: read some threads around parenting to better support their friends or colleagues who are parents

Some mums: how dare you be here "keeping an eye on us"

What on earth do you think childfree and childless people are doing that remotely justifies the comment that we are "keeping an eye on you"?

Plus its an open forum on the internet. If you want a place to talk where people cant "keep an eye on you" you might want to stop posting on the internet... 🙄

I don't personally like the many goady posts calling children names, but those are easily deleted. Most child free women don't have an agenda to take down mothers. They just made a different, valid, choice.

I dont see why people who have chosen not to be parents need their own space on a parenting board. It makes no sense.

It makes as much sense as having loads of boards on topics that have no direct relevance to parenting at all.

Because MN is more than just a parenting board. I don't frequent the parenting posts. Most of them have no relevance to my life as I parent quite differently.

Just to take one instance, I bet socialising is different if you are a parent and if you are not.

I don't see why mums are so angry that women who don't have children have a tiny board on this website.

I've been on MN for over a decade and would love to have been a mum. Sadly, it didn't happen for me.

Should I push off because I'm infertile?

Why isn't there just one MN board, then, the parenting board? If MN is purely a parenting site and nothing else, why are there so many boards that have nothing to do with parenting?

Because reasons.

I don't know if anyone remembers the old Motley Fool site. It was primarily for investment advice but it was somewhat like MN in that the site grew hugely beyond the original remit, and when I found it had scores of discusion boards. Some were for serious investors, some were for dabblers, but there were lots that had no connection to investing or money at all. Comfort Cafe (all manner of personal issues dealt with). Bicycling Fools. Travel. Current Affairs. I was on there a lot and no-one ever said, 'This is a board about investments and serious money stuff. You're not an investor or serious money stuff, so why are you here? push off to Reddit.'

And yet on MN the childfree women, many of whom as pp have said, have been here years; contribute a lot and derive a lot of benefit and help from this site, are faced with the sort of parochialism and downright fear and dislike displayed in the likes of this post. In effect saying, 'go away, you've nothing to contribute and we don't want your sort here.'

One board to discuss issues arising from being notaparent, whether that's from choice or not. ONE BOARD. This isn't a putsch, a takeover, an attempt to marginalise mummies or a backdoor invitation to anti natalists or incels.

It's depressing as hell that in 2023 women who in many cases have thought long and hard about the reasons they don't have children, or who are coming to terms with the fact they'll never have them, are apparently in the eyes of other women - other women - people whose opinions are worthless and at the same time so threatening they need to be driven away.

Apologies for the typos. That poster raising the hoary old 'but you don't have children, why are you even HERE??' whinge made me so cross I typed and posted without preview.

What about people who have not chosen to be childfree but are infertile, or lost a child, are they allowed?

What about godparents, aunts, teachers, pediatricians, family lawyers etc that don't have children, are they allowed?

It's as though some mums feel we shouldn't even have a voice or opinion. In your mind, are we allowed to post on the Doghouse board, or Chicken Keepers, if we don't have children?

@mnhq personally, I've always appreciated when you've posted on heated threads that everyone is welcome, it makes me feel entitled to be here and give advice/opinions and generally be a Mumsnetter, even though I don't have my own children. I've had some amazing advice and real life support over the years!

I love kids, I have kids in my life and I'm a supportive friend who is happy to support my parent friends, I've gained a lot of insight here that I'd otherwise not know.

It would also be brilliant to have some support from others in the same position, and a Without Children board could facilitate this, without alienating anyone, certainly not parents who obviously would be welcome to post.

A Without Children board wouldn't exclude parents, it would just prevent the threads getting de-railed in yet another 'why are you here' row. Imagine being on a forum you enjoy but repeatedly explaining yourself.

If it's decided not to have one small section for those of us requesting it I would feel that perhaps you don't really mean it that everyone is welcome and I'd have to consider if this is the right place to spend any time.

However I do understand how tricky this is and I'm glad you're considering it, thank you.

Also really grateful to the lovely mums who see no issue with it, thank you too.

Perhaps MN should incorporate a question when you sign up as to parental status. If you tick 'no, I have no children' they can block you and not let you join and all the parents can keep their space unsullied.

Try reading the thread then.

There are loads and loads of posts explaining it. 🙄

I dont see why people who have chosen not to be parents need their own space on a parenting board. It makes no sense

It makes no sense why someone would make that comment over 30 pages into the thread without reading it and seeing that a lot of people have made the same unoriginal point. Unless they wanted to be goady, of course.

That would pose a bit of a problem for the conception boards, the pregnancy boards, the infertility board, and the pregnancy choices board all of which contain a majority of people who aren't (yet) parents.

I guess the "MN is for Mums" brigade think they should be banned too. 🙄

To all the people saying Mumsnet is just a parenting board, it’s like saying Amazon is just an online bookseller. It may have started that way but the brand has expanded. It’s a wide ranging chat board nowadays with a very broad range of topics, many of which are about parenting and I am quite happy it should stay that way, but a small corner for those of us who aren’t Mums would be welcome. Dads have a board, Antipodians have a board, cat lovers have a board. Boards are about common interests and you can hide the topics you don’t want to see at will.

Perhaps an 'OK, we're letting you in but don't you dare tell anyone you aren't a parent!' option.

It would be impossible for mn to control who accesses the forums. They can't spend all their time verifying who is who, or dealing with complaints about non parents using the boards. Anyway, it keeps the site busier to be pretty open to all, plus mn recognises that there are many people involved in children's lives who are not parents. I think mn is an amazing achievement, but they obviously got there by carefully considering their brand and marketing, amongst other things. Their focus has been parenting, and if they are to broaden that into not parenting by choice they need to consider how that fits with their model. There are good arguments here for the relevance of a 'childfree' board, but obviously it isn't a simple decision, as mn needs to consider various factors before giving an answer.

🤣🤣🤣

It is very a very short sighted attitude.

I bet loads of the Mumsnet is for Mums brigade have taken all kinds of useful advice from non-Mums on things like DIY, Education, SEN, Disability, Finances, Investments, Employment, Legal, Pet Care, Insurance, Cleaning, Cooking, Diets, Health, etc without realising that they are benefiting from the wisdom of one of the unwelcome.

One Christmas I was the only person on here in the small hours, when a new mum came on here needing a chat. I think she had post natal depression, as she was talking about walking away from the baby she loved. We spoke for about four hours until mum's started posting and were able to share their experiences.

I think of her from time to time. That baby is probably at secondary school.

I don't see why anyone who hasn't taken the time to read the thread because why would you ask a question that has been answered repeatedly otherwise should take up anyone else's mental labour to get a response.

How is that relevant to having a board for posters who don't have children?

It would be interesting if this thread had voting options. I reckon it's only a tiny bit vocal minority of parents who would actually have a problem with this. I honestly can't see the issue... a childfree board would not be relevant to me personally but there are tons of other boards on MN that aren't relevant to me either. Why are some posters so hung up on this particular one???