Safeguarding on the sex chat thread on the sex board

[AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace]

There have been a number of threads about changes to the Sex Board and the standard @MNHQ response is that they're taking feedback on board and ask us to hide the topic, which doesn't answer people's questions. I'd really appreciate some answers specifically about the sex chat thread on the sex board.

The user registration requirement to post on Sex has changed from 3 months to 7 days. It was in place to discourage trolls and predators on the Sex board so it would be helpful to know why that's no longer a concern and 7 days is deemed sufficient.

The sex chat thread exists for users to connect via PM for explicit chat and the thread advises posters they can then move that conversation to platforms like Kik and Telegram. At the moment, MN's advice is to report dodgy PMs; once users move off site this of course no longer applies.

Defence of the sex chat thread seems to be 'it's fine between consenting adults'. MNHQ, please could you tell us what measures you take to ensure participants there are adults? Currently, there is no safety warning and no age verification. How do you intend to keep any underage users from accessing this thread? How can anyone on there know that posters are over 18? You have removed the previously existing safeguards; why is this and will you put any more in place?

There is a risk users might feel safer and more inclined to trust a sex chat hosted by a site like MN; it does feel odd that you haven't made any attempt to counter this by pinning a post reminding users that MN can't vouch for anyone on there, particularly now the three month registration period is gone. Do you intend to do this?

Finally, the thread contains a number of married men who 'aren't getting any at home' and are seeking 'any available female' (direct quotes). Can you confirm this is in the spirit of MN and that you're happy to let it stand?

Thanks, and please don't advise us to hide the sex board again, or even just the sex chat thread, we get that's the MN party line but would really like an answer to the actual questions.

There is no 'typical' poster on MN. And who would think that the typical female Mumsnetter is a simpering little woman?

☝️☝️☝️

This.

I'd hope nobody would though it has been said of women that post on the sex board.

I don't believe it's any more true than men on the sex board getting their rocks off.

Both are possible but very, very far from typical

@Surplus2requirements I'm interested in why you said you thought the board was a safe place for women until recently? What do you think has changed?

You still believe there’s a ‘typical’ Mumsnetter though? Because men ‘getting their rocks off’ and simpering women are far from one? 🤔

Watching. Also believe the 7 day thing is wrong. Reinstate three months please.

Ah OK, thanks for the clarification.

There's been a big increase in judgemental posts. Replies of throwing up emoticons etc on threads asking for advice.

Obviously sex is a subject where there is a large diversity of what is considered normal and there is a lot of potential for people, and I'd suggest especially women to feel judged and shamed.

I thought the people posting in the Sex Topic would be a bit more robust than to be upset by an emoji.
Just don’t engage with whoever is posting it and report if need be.

Please don't speak for all women. You haven't got a clue.

I'm not sure if you're deliberately misunderstanding me or not?

The typical MNer encompasses an extremely wide demographic of people. The majority but far from exclusively women.

I honestly don't believe it's true to say women are here for a wide variety of reasons but men can only be here for sex.

I've been here for years but it's the last place I'd come to get my rocks off so I struggle to understand why some believe its the only reason men are here.

It may possibly be true for some men for reasons I don't understand....let's find them out and ban them

I'm not speaking for anyone aside from myself

And for some women on the sex board you feel the need to defend.

Assuming you are talking to me-Not deliberately, no. It’s just that you’re not really making all that much sense.
But that’s ok I really don’t need further explanations. I think you’ve said you’ve been here for years enough now.

It's funny but I feel the need to defend women to wear what they like without being sexualised, to exercise alone without fear of being attacked, to say no and be heard.

It's not how it is in the world we all live in but I'll still stand for the right.

I bet you are still hoping for a sexy PM from the ladies though. You don't fool me.

Yes I was, sorry I'm not sure why the quite didn't work

I'm busted. I was particularly hopeful on the SEN threads a few years ago and I'm so close on the toilet thread in property/diy 🙄🙄😑

So this all seemed to happen because Sex went into Active, what did all the Chintzy Gunslingers do before, where they man hating on FB or Instagram?

A man has showed up to tell women that if they have boundaries or concerns for safety and dignity, they're frigid man-haters. What a brand-new tactic.

Oh is that what they are? I was about to look at the Urban Dictionary for ‘chintzy gunslingers’ but it all makes sense now.

Some men are upset that women don't want to see their posts about easy access trousers 😥The only possible explanation can be that those women hate sex and hate men. But like chintz.

Ah ok. And the gunslingers bit? What a totally weird expression.

I guess gunslingers suggests we're on the attack? Not sure, but maybe it's nice to have some variety from pearl-clutchers. It might not catch on though.

Ah a slight departure from ‘pearl clutching’ and ‘pitchfork waving’. Trying to be original. And failing.

Gunslingers shoot from the hip, any other questions?