Safeguarding on the sex chat thread on the sex board

[AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace]

There have been a number of threads about changes to the Sex Board and the standard @MNHQ response is that they're taking feedback on board and ask us to hide the topic, which doesn't answer people's questions. I'd really appreciate some answers specifically about the sex chat thread on the sex board.

The user registration requirement to post on Sex has changed from 3 months to 7 days. It was in place to discourage trolls and predators on the Sex board so it would be helpful to know why that's no longer a concern and 7 days is deemed sufficient.

The sex chat thread exists for users to connect via PM for explicit chat and the thread advises posters they can then move that conversation to platforms like Kik and Telegram. At the moment, MN's advice is to report dodgy PMs; once users move off site this of course no longer applies.

Defence of the sex chat thread seems to be 'it's fine between consenting adults'. MNHQ, please could you tell us what measures you take to ensure participants there are adults? Currently, there is no safety warning and no age verification. How do you intend to keep any underage users from accessing this thread? How can anyone on there know that posters are over 18? You have removed the previously existing safeguards; why is this and will you put any more in place?

There is a risk users might feel safer and more inclined to trust a sex chat hosted by a site like MN; it does feel odd that you haven't made any attempt to counter this by pinning a post reminding users that MN can't vouch for anyone on there, particularly now the three month registration period is gone. Do you intend to do this?

Finally, the thread contains a number of married men who 'aren't getting any at home' and are seeking 'any available female' (direct quotes). Can you confirm this is in the spirit of MN and that you're happy to let it stand?

Thanks, and please don't advise us to hide the sex board again, or even just the sex chat thread, we get that's the MN party line but would really like an answer to the actual questions.

I was talking to ShellBeach (but there were a few other people trolling with recipes..)

Thing is women on there ask for a males perspective. That is the whole point and what on earth is wrong with it.

Stop trying to police consenting adults and leave it to the people who run the site.

No one here wants to know about your sexual 'prowess'. Apart from a tiny number of those who are self-confessedly insecure and vulnerable and desperate for any kind of attention.

This entire thread was started to object to men forcing women to read sexual content who have clearly said they don't want it.

And you think that's appropriate to post here?

I can only conclude that hearing 'no' is a big kick for you. I've met a lot of men like that.

Indeed @Bamboux
This thread has certainly been very revealing.

The main reason for this thread that I took from the OP was the safeguarding of children with there being no age identification and the danger to women posed by predatory men.

I think that's an important conversation for women AND men to have

It has.

But you must have discussed this before you decided to make the changes? So you should be able to tell us the reasons behind the changes? Surely??

We don't consult foxes when we design hen houses.

I know it is difficult for some men to understand, but sometimes your opinion is not needed, required, or welcome.

I value what other women have to say on this subject, and I value this website as a space where women's voices are heard.

You are either extraordinarily, staggeringly insensitive, or actively enjoy breaching boundaries and posting repeatedly about your sex life even after you have been told in the clearest possible terms that the women on this thread do not consent to hearing about it.

You just don't get it, do you?
Women do not require the opinions of men when they're discussing the safeguarding of women and girls.

I've hardly repeatedly posted about my sex life and largely I've replied to posts directed specifically at me.

When it comes to safe guarding children I won't agree to being told to shut up by anyone.

I do value MN as a female led space and where women's voices are heard, I don't think that means to the exclusion of others.

I honestly believe safe guarding is an important issue both on MN and more so in real life and isn't something that can be achieved in isolation. It's a conversation that everyone needs to have.

I fully support female only spaces and if thats the intention of the new forum I wish it all the best but that's not what MN is and has never been for the years I've been here.

'I know it is difficult for some men to understand, but sometimes your opinion is not needed, required, or welcome.'

You aren't the boss.

I've found the poster to be polite throughout despite relentless attempts to bully, mock and silence.

Men's opinions, when posted within TGs like everyone else, are welcome. Ask mnhq to clarify if you're struggling on this point.

People trolling recipes about soup on the sex board however are not so welcome, needed or required.

I do value MN as a female led space and where women's voices are heard, I don't think that means to the exclusion of others.

Meaning men? Can't have men feeling excluded from the female led spaces?

Yes. YOU may have done so.
Many of us on this thread have not felt what you've clearly felt.

This thread is about safeguarding on the sex chat thread, it's used by both women and men.

Doesn't it makes sense to include both in the conversation?

Ideally those that have actually used the thread, their voices would carry a lot of weight, the women's far more than the men but I can understand why they might be reticent

"Doesn't it makes sense to include both in the conversation?"

Nope.

'Yes. YOU may have done so.Many of us on this thread have not felt what you've clearly felt.'

That's cos it's a chat forum and folk have different opinions.

Once again as long as posted within TGs all the foot stamping won't change the fact the sex board is there and consenting adults of both sex use it. I have seen useful advice being given, obviously the more colourful threads aren't everyone's cup of tea but that is life.

@TheShellBeach
Ah, so we can best learn about by making what could be wildly inaccurate assumptions?

@Bamboux
You are either extraordinarily, staggeringly insensitive, or actively enjoy breaching boundaries and posting repeatedly about your sex life even after you have been told in the clearest possible terms that the women on this thread do not consent to hearing about it.
@surplus hasn’t been doing this. You’re really stretching now to find reasons to be on the attack.

These few posters (we all know who) have been absolutely relentless in defending the sex chat, not only on this thread and others; telling pp to 'hide the board'; showing a lack of ability to listen; repeating the same points over and over; patronising and mansplaining in response to women's points; generally trying to derail and merail every single useful conversation.

I haven't been anywhere near the sex chat or sex topic in general, and I'm pretty sure most women commenting are not the ones trolling it. So could you please stop spoiling this and other threads that are specifically about the issues of safeguarding, with your repetitions, accusations, demands to 'hide the threads' etc etc.

We all know very well by now your opinions about the sex topic. There is no need to comment in response to every other comment on the thread. Please let the discussion move on and develop without constantly demanding that posters relate and respond to you.

To other posters: I suggest we simply ignore these people from now on. They clearly have a lot of time to devote to this issue but perhaps if they are not getting a response, they will get bored and go back to trying to get women to send them sexy PMs, or whatever it is they usually do on here.

@beastlyslumber 👍

'We all know very well by now your opinions about the sex topic. There is no need to comment in response to every other comment on the thread. Please let the discussion move on and develop without constantly demanding that posters relate and respond to you.'

Well equally we all know your opinion and that of equally bossy bamboux. The thing is you don't get to tell people to shut up. I'll comment as and when I like thanks in response to some of the vitriol spewed out on these threads.

Just hide the sex topic .

I agree with ignoring these people.

@beastlyslumber hear hear.

Although how kind of them to take time away from the hook up thread to join us here.

They're not ALL about 'Male 50 looking for anything to chat filth with' you know!

Well said @beastlyslumber every time I come back to these threads it’s all been the me me me posters derailing the important safeguarding conversation.

Yeah, it's funny that, isn't it? Why would users of a parenting site be so determined to sway attention away from safeguarding?

There has been quite a bit of pushback to Justine's comments so I'm hoping that there'll be another update this week. The sex chat thread needs to be taken down and the 90 days reinstated. As pp have pointed out, the fact that MN are having to be told by their users what the law is, what safeguarding means, and the risks they're running with this is almost beyond belief.

A number of people have said they're deregistering or cancelling premium. I'm not a premium member - but I'm pretty sure neither are most of the sex chatters. I honestly cannot understand such a shortsighted and irresponsible series of decisions. I don't want MN to fail, but I don't see how it survives this without reversing these stupid decisions.

That caused me to laugh.
In all this clusterfuck of nonsense, there can be humour.