Safeguarding on the sex chat thread on the sex board

[AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace]

There have been a number of threads about changes to the Sex Board and the standard @MNHQ response is that they're taking feedback on board and ask us to hide the topic, which doesn't answer people's questions. I'd really appreciate some answers specifically about the sex chat thread on the sex board.

The user registration requirement to post on Sex has changed from 3 months to 7 days. It was in place to discourage trolls and predators on the Sex board so it would be helpful to know why that's no longer a concern and 7 days is deemed sufficient.

The sex chat thread exists for users to connect via PM for explicit chat and the thread advises posters they can then move that conversation to platforms like Kik and Telegram. At the moment, MN's advice is to report dodgy PMs; once users move off site this of course no longer applies.

Defence of the sex chat thread seems to be 'it's fine between consenting adults'. MNHQ, please could you tell us what measures you take to ensure participants there are adults? Currently, there is no safety warning and no age verification. How do you intend to keep any underage users from accessing this thread? How can anyone on there know that posters are over 18? You have removed the previously existing safeguards; why is this and will you put any more in place?

There is a risk users might feel safer and more inclined to trust a sex chat hosted by a site like MN; it does feel odd that you haven't made any attempt to counter this by pinning a post reminding users that MN can't vouch for anyone on there, particularly now the three month registration period is gone. Do you intend to do this?

Finally, the thread contains a number of married men who 'aren't getting any at home' and are seeking 'any available female' (direct quotes). Can you confirm this is in the spirit of MN and that you're happy to let it stand?

Thanks, and please don't advise us to hide the sex board again, or even just the sex chat thread, we get that's the MN party line but would really like an answer to the actual questions.

There's already a lot of creepy men on those topics. 🤮

Can someone make a new mums forum so we can boycott mumsnet? Infact id rather use netmums!

I didn't know this existed. I can't see the need for it on a parenting website. It encourages all sorts of creeps. Get rid of it, please.

Well said. It will be interesting to hear from MNHQ why these changes have happened. I am presuming advertising revenues as pps have said.
I am sick of seeing sex chats in active and ads for vibrators. And no I'm not prudist before anyone says this, but i use this site mainly for parenting advice and i find it so gross that its now degenerating into sleaze.

I hid it, it’s grim and goes completely against what I thought MN stood for.

If people don't want the sex thread don't go into them, I am tired of seeing sex on here all the time but I also know I don't have to engage with them and realise if they weren't used they wouldn't be here, I presume this forum is for grown ups so we are grown up enough to use it the way we want or not

So often women's safety concerns are shut down with mocking along the lines of 'why would anyone bother to sexually harass you, you're too old/ugly/uninteresting, don't flatter yourself'. It's just another layer of misogyny.

My issue is that there is not even a token attempt to ensure it is just grown ups on there, that's the point.

Could not agree more @AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace.

I feel sad that it's users who have to point this out to MNHQ.

That's really grim.

of course nowhere on the internet is safe but bloody hell aren't there enough sites and apps out there already for people to share how they want to be lightly spanked with a pineapple and exchange photographs of their genitals?

Lowering it to 7 days? With a million dodgy hook up sites who's going to wait three months to send a dick pic? Let's fix that for them.

Unfortunately it's still there, several threads down on the first page called The New Improved Sex Chat! It's gone quiet since all the discussion around it but it hasn't been deleted.

It's there. It's just not very active atm. Shine a light on something seedy and it spooks the ones using it. So many married men on there wanting to get their rocks off.

Apparently they're sad stories and reasons why they can't end their marriage and married men looking to cheat need to be thought of kindly on that thread. Poor things.

I wondered if there was something when you signed up that you had to tick to say you're over 18. It's so long since I signed up I can't remember!

@AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace 100% agree.

watching to see how mnhq will respond…

No teenage boy - perhaps - but it's not unlikely that teen girls may be on, or watching it. There's plenty of sleazy men out there who would be very happy to say "What? But I thought she was older because we met on Mumsnet!"

Boys using the forum/thread aren't likely to come to much harm. The potential for girls, however, is far worse.

And if word gets around certain groups that there's no age verification and the possibility of meeting "young women", you can be sure that men looking for that will flock.

I actually cannot believe that Mumsnet is blind to this. There are enough users who know about safeguarding that they could have just asked questions directed to those users!

This is shocking. I hope advertisers are taking notice of this. Not a brand safe site anymore

Hi all,
Please be reassured that this is the subject of lively discussion in the office, and we will update as soon as we have a resolution. We are sorry not to have anything to tell you, and we are reading everything you are saying with interest. (And yes, we know, another holding message. Sorry).

Following

I’m guessing trolls are using it?

Surely Reddit would be a better choice considering the amount of pure sleaze on there with photos often included. I was on the IF subreddit and a rando posted nudes.

Pimpsnet 😞

Maybe so - I also can't remember, old gimmer alert and all! But I'd argue that a thread created solely for sexually explicit private chat that invites users off site onto other messaging platforms does merit its own separate age and safety warning.

I'm also following this thread with great interest.
I'm disgusted with MNHQ for thinking this is appropriate.
It's vile and it only exists so that creepy men can have a wank.

If you read the sexchat thread you'll see plenty of women posting saying how upset/ disappointed they are with the messages they've had from the men who frequent that thread.

There's men on there who are in their 70s but the majority are 50 + and we're posting practically daily asking for PMs from well, anyone really.

Thanks @HopeMumsnet for changing the holding message and not just telling us to hide the board 😅

Just about sums it up nicely.
It’s sleazy and misogynistic.

Couldn't agree more.

We get deletion messages that give the reason "not in the spirit of the site".

I would like Mumsnet to define what the spirit of the site is right now, and explain how the current state of the sex board fits in with that.