Safeguarding on the sex chat thread on the sex board

[AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace]

There have been a number of threads about changes to the Sex Board and the standard @MNHQ response is that they're taking feedback on board and ask us to hide the topic, which doesn't answer people's questions. I'd really appreciate some answers specifically about the sex chat thread on the sex board.

The user registration requirement to post on Sex has changed from 3 months to 7 days. It was in place to discourage trolls and predators on the Sex board so it would be helpful to know why that's no longer a concern and 7 days is deemed sufficient.

The sex chat thread exists for users to connect via PM for explicit chat and the thread advises posters they can then move that conversation to platforms like Kik and Telegram. At the moment, MN's advice is to report dodgy PMs; once users move off site this of course no longer applies.

Defence of the sex chat thread seems to be 'it's fine between consenting adults'. MNHQ, please could you tell us what measures you take to ensure participants there are adults? Currently, there is no safety warning and no age verification. How do you intend to keep any underage users from accessing this thread? How can anyone on there know that posters are over 18? You have removed the previously existing safeguards; why is this and will you put any more in place?

There is a risk users might feel safer and more inclined to trust a sex chat hosted by a site like MN; it does feel odd that you haven't made any attempt to counter this by pinning a post reminding users that MN can't vouch for anyone on there, particularly now the three month registration period is gone. Do you intend to do this?

Finally, the thread contains a number of married men who 'aren't getting any at home' and are seeking 'any available female' (direct quotes). Can you confirm this is in the spirit of MN and that you're happy to let it stand?

Thanks, and please don't advise us to hide the sex board again, or even just the sex chat thread, we get that's the MN party line but would really like an answer to the actual questions.

@Logburnerperils there are many other forums that you can talk about cream pieing your partner we don't all have to be cool women who say we agree with it if we don't .
I would bet my house most of the men on that board don't post anywhere else

As if by magic....

There must be some sort of klaxon.

I think that you have a basic misunderstanding of safeguarding in this context.

Isn't there just...

I wouldn't advise you make that bet.

For the last 7 or 8 years I have far more posts in aibu, chat, sen, diy than i have on the sex board yet i still feel its an important, respectful and until recently safe place for women and men to discuss issues that can be very tricky to discuss irl.

most of the men on that board don’t post anywhere else

Surplus - I do, so you’re wrong about most men on that board not posting anywhere else.

sigh.

@Surplus2requirements why do you always feel that posters are talking about you in particular? They said ‘most’ not ‘all’.

It's not all about you.

I would have thought it wise to have a different NN if posting in the Sex Topic anyway so nobody would know who you were in other topics, and couldn't AS etc.

Why do you think everything I post is me making it all about me?

In all my years on MN I've found nothing that suggests I'm not a typical male member of MN

In all my years as a man I found many, many things to suggest I'm not typical of many men but that's a different issue.

No one cares.

Why do you think everything I post is me making it all about me?

Because it is. 'In all my years' is about you. There's no need to keep defending yourself.

I'm not sure there is a typical male Mumsnetter though!

I'd guess as typical as the typical mumsnetter. Its a fairly broad church and i wouldnt personally try and stereotype them

@Surplus2requirements just curious why you said until recently?

It was me who said
And I stand by that

Sorry, recently In relation to what?

I'd guess as typical as the typical mumsnetter.

There's no such thing.

There's no safeguarding on that board. On another thread, a poster wrote about her experience moderating a sex chat forum and explained there is always age verification, a list of banned topics (always including anything involving kids), active moderation etc. MN are being incredibly irresponsible.

For the last 7 or 8 years I have far more posts in aibu, chat, sen, diy than i have on the sex board yet i still feel its an important, respectful and until recently safe place for women and men to discuss issues that can be very tricky to discuss irl.

Particularly my typing error but kind of my point.

I was trying to say I don't think the typical male MNer is any more the same as the typical female MNer.

To say the typical male here is a hairy handed perv is like saying the typical female is a simpering little woman desperate for male validation.

Neither is true though both exist.

I do think this is valid. The forum I moderate doesn't have hard and fast rules on such topics but there is a responsibility to keep posts "as far as reasonably possible" within the law.

The "as far as reasonably possible" is the get out clause

It’s quite easy to de register from this site. That’s what needs to happen really. It shouldn’t be a subject of ‘lively discussion’. That sounds like it’s quite fun for MNHQ. It isn’t fun, it’s disgusting and unacceptable.

Do you have to log into the website to cancel premium subscriptions? I'll see if I can work out how to do it on the app. If enough of us vote financially that this is not what we want, might MNHQ listen?

I don’t pay , but I’m becoming disenchanted enough to leave now.