Why is Sex topic now in Active?

[clarrylove]

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

It doesn’t really matter what the reasons are. The solution to both problems is not having the sex topic in active.

It makes no difference who asks the question the only thing that's important is the (female) content

Well pretty much every study of everything has found that yes, it matters who asks the question.

And not agreeing with people isn't bullying. Particularly when what we're talking about is a mainly female space that has been really supportive of women's voices. Women don't have to ask nicely. That hasn't worked well for us and we've been doing it for hundreds of years.

"I have no shits to give about a bunch of wanky men and their fangirls feeling sad"

Rude.

And not in a lovely rude way either.

Ruuuude? I'll tell you what's rude - it's having pervy wankers shove their sad sex obsession in our faces. It's MN allowing their site to be used as a cheap (well, free, but cheap in the sense of tawdry) hookup site. Gross.

I'm really happy to conceded to a female voice asking the question but I do think the question needs asking.

Is the sex board a route into this female led space for male predators as voiced by women's experience?

Some women want the sex board and some don't. One of the main concerns is predatory men so is the threat real or not?

There's been a lot of insulting and shutting down of men's opinion on this thread...that doesn't bother me, we can suck it up or leave. It is a female led space after all.

There's also been insults and shaming of women who consider the sex board a safe place for discussion with other women and men. I don't think that should sit comfortably with anyone

Why not just ask the women who use the sex board if their experience is that predatory men are a threat there or not?

Well if my perimenopausal induced raging sex drive makes me a pervy wanker and a fangirl then so be it. I am extremely grateful to MN for being the space that has led me to be able to communicate with some absolute gems

@Surplus2requirements in my experience absolutely not.

Perimenopausal-induced? Oh, a moment of silence.

Lots of women experience perimenopausal-driven rage. Should we start up and then plonk a section of Fight Club, filled with violent fantasies and invitations to meet up for punchups onto Active, too?

Why not just ask the women who use the sex board if their experience is that predatory men are a threat there or not?

In areas around strip clubs sexual assaults increase on all women. If I wanted to know if that was the case I wouldn't get a bloke to ask female users of the strip club their opinion.

There has been an increase in MRAs and trad wives all over MN recently. Is it linked? Who knows? You certainly don't.

I hate seeing it there. This is new. I can't hide topics on my iPhone app.

My guess is that anything to do with the live site costs £££ in devs and testers (or it does where I work!).

Meanwhile a decision involves a meeting between some key people who can't meet until (for the example) next Wednesday - so the team has decided it's cheaper to tell people to hide the topic in the meantime.

But while you wait, this is damaging your brand with some of your long-term users, and giving a slightly odd experience to new users.

Maybe that's fine internally because this is a conscious decision that's been made to change the MN brand? But if not, I'd be asking the devs to make a quick change anyway. You can reverse again if needed but you can't buy back brand reputation again.

Why not just ask the women who use the sex board if their experience is that predatory men are a threat there or not?

So it doesn’t matter if women elsewhere on Mumsnet see it as threatening?

@BIWI it would appear you’re looking for a fight! it’s clear that @Surplus2requirements mentioned the sex board in particular rather than Mumsnet as a whole because the sex board is the subject we’re discussing in particular

@MrsTerryPratchett - "Well pretty much every study of everything has found that yes, it matters who asks the question"
Just to clarify, in case it matters to some of you who it was that started this thread - i'm a 54 year old woman who likes sex and still has an active sex life, exclusively with my DH. I like the sex thread, i find some of the posts very useful, particularly some of those from male posters. It helps me understand things from DH's perspective. Until it appeared on Active, the vast majority of posts were polite and respectful (far more so than the average AIBU threads/posters) and I really don't understand what it is that offends so many people (apart from the Sex Chat thread which i do find a bit sleazy)

@hryllilegur - "It doesn’t really matter what the reasons are. The solution to both problems is not having the sex topic in active."

Exactly my point when i started the thread. Completely opposing views but all wanting the same outcome. All this arguing and all the nastiness, to the point of insinuating that anyone posting on there is probably a paedophile!

Nobody actually said anyone was a paedophile, that was a poster not understanding what was being said.

@Mermaidparades I think posters are concerned that the higher profile of the sex board will or is having a detrimental impact on women's experience of MN in general. I don't know what I think about that. What I don't like is men talking over women or for them or judging their experiences.

'i'm a 54 year old woman who likes sex and still has an active sex life, exclusively with my DH. I like the sex thread, i find some of the posts very useful, particularly some of those from male posters. It helps me understand things from DH's perspective.'

Exactly. It can be useful for some people. If it isn't useful for others fine. I don't go in the cat house as I can't stand cats.

'So it doesn’t matter if women elsewhere on Mumsnet see it as threatening?'

Threatening? How? It is consenting adults discussing their sex lives and looking for advice. The sex chat may not be your cup of tea but I presume you don't think you are the spokesperson for every woman?! You aren’t one of those feminists who want to empower women as long as they have the same opnion as you are you?

Is there something stopping any pervs that use the sex board from migrating to the rest of the boards? If the answer to that question is no then of course it matters what mumsnet users as a whole think.

'I'm not sure why anyone would think that promoting kids TV on a board that is hosting pervy blokes touting for sex chat is OK? Seems wrong on every level to me.'

So what was this pp implying then?!

Brilliant idea! I'm in!

'Is there something stopping any pervs that use the sex board from migrating to the rest of the boards?'

Pervs. Seriously.

Nope, there is nothing stopping anyone migrating to any bpard as we saw when the recipe trolls migrated to the sex board. Just report anything that breaks TGs..

@MeganTheeScallion I genuinely haven’t found the men on the sex board to be like that. I really do feel a lot of women are letting themselves down on these threads. And it doesn’t matter if they’ve been here from the start of Mumsnet or joined last week, rude is rude.

The disconnect between the two things. Like MN make your mind up.