Page 16 | Why is Sex topic now in Active?

clarrylove · 2023-02-15T19:43:15+00:00

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

AnonymousHippopotamus · 17/02/2023 21:37

LangClegsInSpace · 16/02/2023 21:18

Here's a quick tour of the history of the MN sex topic:

2008: Just to let you know that we're not really convinced that having a sex topic is the best of plans.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/491115-please-could-we-have-a-topic-about-sex-please?reply=9916422

2009: We do think that, as many of you on this thread have pointed out, having a separate Sex topic might attract a shedload of pervs some rather strange posters to Mumsnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/747198-Can-we-please-have-a-sex-topic?reply=15287409

2012: We have absolutely no problem with discussions about sex (unless they're pervy to the point of true obscenity) but we do think a Sex topic would be a troll magnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1593235-So-I-was-wondering-A-sex-topic?reply=34913031

2013: we have been asked for this before and our answer is likely to remain the same. We don't really want to attract that kind of attention.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1742844-Should-we-have-a-sex-section?reply=38774736

2014: When the sex topic idea has been proposed before we've always decided against it on the basis of it being an absolutely massive troll-magnet. That's probably still our viewpoint but as ever we're happy to listen to your views.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/2082521-Do-you-think-its-time-to-reconsider-a-sex-topic?page=4&reply=47105108

2015: MN started a sex topic. I couldn't find a thread announcing it or describing how it would work but posters needed to be registered for 90 days before they could post there and threads did not show up in active, as a way of mitigating the risk of the aforementioned pervy trolls.

So what has suddenly changed? Are there fewer pervy trolls on the internet now than in 2015?

Until it suddenly started showing up in active this month I gave the sex topic little thought. It's not my bag but I have no objection to the topic's existence in theory. I stupidly imagined it would be mostly women, discussing sex in the same kind of robust and/or caring tone as we discuss everything else here, but it's not that is it?

I hid the topic as soon as the threads started to appear in active but I went and had a look earlier today and honestly, it's like being on a different site. It was incredibly jarring.

There are SO MANY MEN!

I am sure some posters NC for their posts there but I seriously wonder what proportion of them ever frequent other areas of the site. While all these upstanding gents are getting their jollies on the sex topic, Dadsnet remains filled with tumbleweed. On a parenting site.

What are you FOR Mumsnet? The sex topic looks like a seedy side hustle incongruously attached to an otherwise excellent parenting forum.

I'm not accusing any particular poster there of being a pervy troll, despite having read some seriously grim posts today, and despite the 'sexchat' thread being both the most tragic and dangerous thread I have ever seen left standing on this site. But sex threads showing up in active and reducing the waiting period from 90 days to 7 absolutely will attract all the heavy breathers and pervy sex trolls that MNHQ were keen to discourage for all those years.

Posters there seem to agree this is a bad move. I'm sure there's nothing more offputting when you're trying to have a lovely exciting sexychat than a bunch of mums reading it and giving their opinion.

Have you received any positive feedback at all on your decision to include sex threads in active? (I mean from MNers, not the purveyors of Shrek's ear)

On the subject of sex toy ads, I found this from 2011: We do understand that for many folks this type of advertising crosses a line that they'd rather not be crossed and we have taken careful note and will certainly bear it in mind in future. Cheers.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1316089-Lets-talk-about-sex-toys-well-ads-for-them-on-Mumsnet-please?page=16&reply=27847666

Thank you for tearing up your 'careful note' I guess. Cheers.

I don't like this new direction that MN is going in. It looks like the soft end of 'sex positive' / sex industry capture to me. It doesn't make parents' lives easier and it is not 'in the spirit of Mumsnet' as I have always understood it.

Yes, I'm reposting this as I couldn't put it better than @LangClegsInSpace did.

It seems you are not listening to your 'product', Mumsnet. Why why why?

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:38

ForestLilac · 17/02/2023 21:35

Uh oh have I called it by the wrong name? 😳

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I hope so or I’m going back to Hotel Chocolat with it in the morning to ask about its other uses.

ForestLilac · 17/02/2023 21:39

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:38

I hope so or I’m going back to Hotel Chocolat with it in the morning to ask about its other uses.

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😂

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:42

@LangClegsInSpace ’s post was very enlightening. I wonder what’s changed from the original not wanting to encourage pervs to letting them in.

Getir · 17/02/2023 21:44

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:42

@LangClegsInSpace ’s post was very enlightening. I wonder what’s changed from the original not wanting to encourage pervs to letting them in.

Money?

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:47

Getir · 17/02/2023 21:44

Money?

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It’s usually the case. Maybe they could start a full on hook up spin off site like MN Tinder. Charge to join. What could possibly go wrong?

noodlezoodle · 17/02/2023 21:49

Just adding another vote for taking the topic back out of Active. It's been a very jarring couple of days with some of the threads titles I've seen 😶

I understand that @mnhq are discussing this behind the scenes, but in my opinion the lack of transparency or updates is making things worse.

TwilightSilhouette · 17/02/2023 21:51

Money money money. It’s a shame.

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 21:58

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:42

@LangClegsInSpace ’s post was very enlightening. I wonder what’s changed from the original not wanting to encourage pervs to letting them in.

I'm imagining a really grim powerpoint presented by a shiny young marketing exec from the shrek's ear company, explaining how leaky, weepy, sleep deprived, postnatal women with raggedybits are an untapped sexmarket.

Getir · 17/02/2023 21:59

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 21:47

It’s usually the case. Maybe they could start a full on hook up spin off site like MN Tinder. Charge to join. What could possibly go wrong?

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Swipe right for the money.

Redebs · 17/02/2023 22:00

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 16:37

There's plenty of examples of people asking difficult and embarrassing questions that have been told they are disgusting or similar.

Sorry but I haven't got any sexy threads to help with leaky boobs but I can empathise with sleepless nights and hemorrhoids (which is something that's been asked about on the sex board...because it's relevant)

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Well maybe they actually are just being disgusting?
Maybe boys getting a little thrill out of talking dirty on MUMSnet?

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:02

Squeaky bum time has a whole new meaning now. eh Justine?

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 22:06

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 21:58

I'm imagining a really grim powerpoint presented by a shiny young marketing exec from the shrek's ear company, explaining how leaky, weepy, sleep deprived, postnatal women with raggedybits are an untapped sexmarket.

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Bit like The Apprentice or maybe Dragon’s Den? 🤔

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 22:12

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 21:58

I'm imagining a really grim powerpoint presented by a shiny young marketing exec from the shrek's ear company, explaining how leaky, weepy, sleep deprived, postnatal women with raggedybits are an untapped sexmarket.

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Flood the site with sex content to create a more conducive marketing environment, but also put some cutesy little baby bottles in the ad so the stupid knackered old mummies are not scared off. And of course advertise it as a vibrator for 'people with a vulva'. What better way to redeem MN's reputation as a site full of bigoted AHF?

EmilyGilmoresSass · 17/02/2023 22:14

Is this seriously still going on? If you don't like Mumsnet then leave. Go to Netmums or something ffs. Or... amazingly enough... just don't click on sex related threads

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:15

It's the fact MNHQ think we don't know why the sex topic is in Active now. They fucking sold out.

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:16

EmilyGilmoresSass · 17/02/2023 22:14

Is this seriously still going on? If you don't like Mumsnet then leave. Go to Netmums or something ffs. Or... amazingly enough... just don't click on sex related threads

Oh little women STFU you mean?

SauteedOwl · 17/02/2023 22:20

@EmilyGilmoresSass yeah women - your space being invaded by wanking men? Just fuck off elsewhere or shut up

Okunevo · 17/02/2023 22:32

Rhondaa · 17/02/2023 15:31

Well no but as I said it is a chat forum and we are allowed to share opinions.

How do some of you cope with sex toys in Tescos? Do you avoid that aisle completely?

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I had no clue they sold them in Tesco

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:37

You can delete me all you like. It's the truth though.

Okunevo · 17/02/2023 22:38

Another vote for please remove it from active and to require 90 days before posting to keep the perverts off the site

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:49

So I can't mention tits, yet there's a thread full of men talking about tits, Including a man saying he gropes his wife even though it annoys her. And I get deleted?

HereForTheFreeLunch · 17/02/2023 23:06

Getir · 17/02/2023 22:15

It's the fact MNHQ think we don't know why the sex topic is in Active now. They fucking sold out.

This!

Ofbollocks · 17/02/2023 23:08

Why can't you mention tits? There's plenty of them about. I have decided that I might give some of the newly trending topics the benefit of my wisdom.