Page 11 | Why is Sex topic now in Active?

clarrylove · 2023-02-15T19:43:15+00:00

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

FriendOfTheNight · 16/02/2023 23:14

It's a heated thread, with much sarcasm, @SauteedOwl - I had hoped there was no ill intent and you've confirmed this, thank you (said with no malice, sarcasm or anything else that could potentially offend).

NeedHelpToReachTheEnd · 16/02/2023 23:16

This is all so disappointing and depressing.
Thanks you @LangClegsInSpace for summarising the history of the Sex topic. I was really perturbed to see threads appearing in Active and really, really disappointed in the response from @mnhq on this thread.

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 23:37

NeedHelpToReachTheEnd · 16/02/2023 23:16

This is all so disappointing and depressing.
Thanks you @LangClegsInSpace for summarising the history of the Sex topic. I was really perturbed to see threads appearing in Active and really, really disappointed in the response from @mnhq on this thread.

I'm still hopeful MNHQ will revert to at least the 2015 stance.

Even a 30 day posting delay would weed out most men that are only interested in perving.

If its booted altogether I think it would be a shame but my primary reason for being here has always been for a healthy mix of female perspectives on all things in my life.

thedogsmababy · 16/02/2023 23:40

LangClegsInSpace · 16/02/2023 21:18

Here's a quick tour of the history of the MN sex topic:

2008: Just to let you know that we're not really convinced that having a sex topic is the best of plans.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/491115-please-could-we-have-a-topic-about-sex-please?reply=9916422

2009: We do think that, as many of you on this thread have pointed out, having a separate Sex topic might attract a shedload of pervs some rather strange posters to Mumsnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/747198-Can-we-please-have-a-sex-topic?reply=15287409

2012: We have absolutely no problem with discussions about sex (unless they're pervy to the point of true obscenity) but we do think a Sex topic would be a troll magnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1593235-So-I-was-wondering-A-sex-topic?reply=34913031

2013: we have been asked for this before and our answer is likely to remain the same. We don't really want to attract that kind of attention.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1742844-Should-we-have-a-sex-section?reply=38774736

2014: When the sex topic idea has been proposed before we've always decided against it on the basis of it being an absolutely massive troll-magnet. That's probably still our viewpoint but as ever we're happy to listen to your views.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/2082521-Do-you-think-its-time-to-reconsider-a-sex-topic?page=4&reply=47105108

2015: MN started a sex topic. I couldn't find a thread announcing it or describing how it would work but posters needed to be registered for 90 days before they could post there and threads did not show up in active, as a way of mitigating the risk of the aforementioned pervy trolls.

So what has suddenly changed? Are there fewer pervy trolls on the internet now than in 2015?

Until it suddenly started showing up in active this month I gave the sex topic little thought. It's not my bag but I have no objection to the topic's existence in theory. I stupidly imagined it would be mostly women, discussing sex in the same kind of robust and/or caring tone as we discuss everything else here, but it's not that is it?

I hid the topic as soon as the threads started to appear in active but I went and had a look earlier today and honestly, it's like being on a different site. It was incredibly jarring.

There are SO MANY MEN!

I am sure some posters NC for their posts there but I seriously wonder what proportion of them ever frequent other areas of the site. While all these upstanding gents are getting their jollies on the sex topic, Dadsnet remains filled with tumbleweed. On a parenting site.

What are you FOR Mumsnet? The sex topic looks like a seedy side hustle incongruously attached to an otherwise excellent parenting forum.

I'm not accusing any particular poster there of being a pervy troll, despite having read some seriously grim posts today, and despite the 'sexchat' thread being both the most tragic and dangerous thread I have ever seen left standing on this site. But sex threads showing up in active and reducing the waiting period from 90 days to 7 absolutely will attract all the heavy breathers and pervy sex trolls that MNHQ were keen to discourage for all those years.

Posters there seem to agree this is a bad move. I'm sure there's nothing more offputting when you're trying to have a lovely exciting sexychat than a bunch of mums reading it and giving their opinion.

Have you received any positive feedback at all on your decision to include sex threads in active? (I mean from MNers, not the purveyors of Shrek's ear)

On the subject of sex toy ads, I found this from 2011: We do understand that for many folks this type of advertising crosses a line that they'd rather not be crossed and we have taken careful note and will certainly bear it in mind in future. Cheers.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1316089-Lets-talk-about-sex-toys-well-ads-for-them-on-Mumsnet-please?page=16&reply=27847666

Thank you for tearing up your 'careful note' I guess. Cheers.

I don't like this new direction that MN is going in. It looks like the soft end of 'sex positive' / sex industry capture to me. It doesn't make parents' lives easier and it is not 'in the spirit of Mumsnet' as I have always understood it.

👏👏👏

Whadda · 16/02/2023 23:48

I’m beginning to think @LilyMumsnet @HopeMumsnet @mnhq have hidden this thread.

HoboHotel · 16/02/2023 23:51

HermioneWeasley · 15/02/2023 20:00

It’s noticeable how active the men of MN are on the sex threads. You can have 40 pages on current affairs (so not something that’s female exclusive like breastfeeding) and zero blokes, but the sex threads appear to be about 50/50. Almost like they’re getting off on it.

I think that's generous.

It's 50 percent men, and 50 percent 'women' who Just Love Sex and want to chat about lingerie and masturbation and lesbian experiences. As we do

Surplus2requirements · 16/02/2023 23:56

Whadda · 16/02/2023 23:48

I’m beginning to think @LilyMumsnet @HopeMumsnet @mnhq have hidden this thread.

Who said that? 😬

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 00:06

NeedHelpToReachTheEnd · 16/02/2023 23:16

This is all so disappointing and depressing.
Thanks you @LangClegsInSpace for summarising the history of the Sex topic. I was really perturbed to see threads appearing in Active and really, really disappointed in the response from @mnhq on this thread.

Yes I'm really disappointed in their response.

'The Sex topic is now appearing in Active because we don't want to exclude parts of the site'

HoboHotel · 17/02/2023 00:09

LangClegsInSpace · 17/02/2023 00:06

Yes I'm really disappointed in their response.

'The Sex topic is now appearing in Active because we don't want to exclude parts of the site'

Show quote history

Am I right in thinking they don't include SEN board in Active?

kittensinthekitchen · 17/02/2023 00:22

HoboHotel · 17/02/2023 00:09

Am I right in thinking they don't include SEN board in Active?

Show quote history

Not sure, they've mysteriously ignored anyone who has asked that.

Yet are still moderating the thread.

Ignorant as fuck.

PermanentTemporary · 17/02/2023 06:17

The SEN board was hidden way back so that posters who didn't have much of a clue would stop picking up the threads in Active and post on a detailed and sensitive thread saying 'if he were mine I'd use the naughty step' or similar. I've never thought there was a reason to change that.

I assumed that the Sex topic going into active was a technical glitch tbh. I liked the old version, some quite tough things got discussed and it was useful. Though not super fast moving. Did a marketing guru decide it was time to be much sexier on MN? I guess times are tough but way to damage your brand.

everywhichway · 17/02/2023 06:51

So, we seem to have discrete camps of MN posters here who hold strong but markedly different views about the Sex Topic threads, particularly the female-initiated sexchat thread, but who nonetheless all (or nearly all) appear to agree on the need for two things:

1 The removal of all Sex Topic threads from Active; &

The re-introduction of an extended qualifying period for posting on those threads.

Please MNHQ can you just make these things happen and let's see an end to (or at least a big reduction in) all this unedifying unpleasantness?

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 06:57

Wasn't the sex chat thread started by a man?

everywhichway · 17/02/2023 07:05

No it wasn't

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 07:06

Who started it?

everywhichway · 17/02/2023 07:10

I suspect she'd prefer to avoid abuse and hostility in view of recent events on here and in AIBU.

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 07:15

It appears that you started it.

Getir · 17/02/2023 07:18

Didn't the first thread get taken down by MNHQ?

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 07:19

Getir · 17/02/2023 07:18

Didn't the first thread get taken down by MNHQ?

Oh there was previous thread? Why did it get removed? 🤔

Getir · 17/02/2023 07:22

I'm not sure if there was a previous thread now, but one thread was definitely removed for a while.

everywhichway · 17/02/2023 07:22

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 07:15

It appears that you started it.

No I didn't start it. The original sexchat thread was started by a woman.

everywhichway · 17/02/2023 07:26

Getir · 17/02/2023 07:22

I'm not sure if there was a previous thread now, but one thread was definitely removed for a while.

Yes, there was a previous sexchat thread, that came down for a while for unexplained reasons. Many posters - male and female - expressed surprise and regret at this and eventually the thread was re-instated

Sparklingbrook · 17/02/2023 07:28

‘Unexplained reasons’ 🤔
What did the deletion message say? MNHQ generally explain the deletion of a thread.

BentleyRhythmAce · 17/02/2023 07:44

@HopeMumsnet @LilyMumsnet @mnhq please would you address the majority of posters on this thread who are unhappy with your decision to move the topic to active, and to give an insultingly illogical reason for the choice? It's not ok.
You've also ignored my repeated requests for confirmation of whether or not it's possible to hide a topic in the app.

comebye · 17/02/2023 10:10

I would also like to know how to hide the topic in the app.