Why is Sex topic now in Active?

[clarrylove]

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

@Surplus2requirements still wanging on? I didnt 'shame a woman for asking for advice about sex' ... I made the very valid comment that the sex topic exists for wide eyed innocents to ask how to give a tit wank and lots and lots of very helpful men chime in with their advice

You're being disingenuous. I'm a woman and I've been vocal about the fact that a part of this site has become dedicated to sex hook ups and I'm not comfortable with that for various reasons

The main one is women's safety. Not your safety

So how do you think the "wide eyed innocent" felt about you ridiculing her here for her thread?

Do you think you made her feel safer, as a woman, to ask an intimate question?

Have you read the replies? They're all respectful

I'm being want to engage with you anymore @Surplus2requirements

Consider yourself as your name suggests.

Oh and if you're as respectful as you purport to be, you'll respect me right now and not respond to this as I don't want you to anymore. You're making me feel very uncomfortable.

If you do respond, that says it all

Here's a quick tour of the history of the MN sex topic:

2008: Just to let you know that we're not really convinced that having a sex topic is the best of plans.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/491115-please-could-we-have-a-topic-about-sex-please?reply=9916422

2009: We do think that, as many of you on this thread have pointed out, having a separate Sex topic might attract a shedload of pervs some rather strange posters to Mumsnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/747198-Can-we-please-have-a-sex-topic?reply=15287409

2012: We have absolutely no problem with discussions about sex (unless they're pervy to the point of true obscenity) but we do think a Sex topic would be a troll magnet.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1593235-So-I-was-wondering-A-sex-topic?reply=34913031

2013: we have been asked for this before and our answer is likely to remain the same. We don't really want to attract that kind of attention.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1742844-Should-we-have-a-sex-section?reply=38774736

2014: When the sex topic idea has been proposed before we've always decided against it on the basis of it being an absolutely massive troll-magnet. That's probably still our viewpoint but as ever we're happy to listen to your views.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/2082521-Do-you-think-its-time-to-reconsider-a-sex-topic?page=4&reply=47105108

2015: MN started a sex topic. I couldn't find a thread announcing it or describing how it would work but posters needed to be registered for 90 days before they could post there and threads did not show up in active, as a way of mitigating the risk of the aforementioned pervy trolls.

So what has suddenly changed? Are there fewer pervy trolls on the internet now than in 2015?

Until it suddenly started showing up in active this month I gave the sex topic little thought. It's not my bag but I have no objection to the topic's existence in theory. I stupidly imagined it would be mostly women, discussing sex in the same kind of robust and/or caring tone as we discuss everything else here, but it's not that is it?

I hid the topic as soon as the threads started to appear in active but I went and had a look earlier today and honestly, it's like being on a different site. It was incredibly jarring.

There are SO MANY MEN!

I am sure some posters NC for their posts there but I seriously wonder what proportion of them ever frequent other areas of the site. While all these upstanding gents are getting their jollies on the sex topic, Dadsnet remains filled with tumbleweed. On a parenting site.

What are you FOR Mumsnet? The sex topic looks like a seedy side hustle incongruously attached to an otherwise excellent parenting forum.

I'm not accusing any particular poster there of being a pervy troll, despite having read some seriously grim posts today, and despite the 'sexchat' thread being both the most tragic and dangerous thread I have ever seen left standing on this site. But sex threads showing up in active and reducing the waiting period from 90 days to 7 absolutely will attract all the heavy breathers and pervy sex trolls that MNHQ were keen to discourage for all those years.

Posters there seem to agree this is a bad move. I'm sure there's nothing more offputting when you're trying to have a lovely exciting sexychat than a bunch of mums reading it and giving their opinion.

Have you received any positive feedback at all on your decision to include sex threads in active? (I mean from MNers, not the purveyors of Shrek's ear)

On the subject of sex toy ads, I found this from 2011: We do understand that for many folks this type of advertising crosses a line that they'd rather not be crossed and we have taken careful note and will certainly bear it in mind in future. Cheers.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/1316089-Lets-talk-about-sex-toys-well-ads-for-them-on-Mumsnet-please?page=16&reply=27847666

Thank you for tearing up your 'careful note' I guess. Cheers.

I don't like this new direction that MN is going in. It looks like the soft end of 'sex positive' / sex industry capture to me. It doesn't make parents' lives easier and it is not 'in the spirit of Mumsnet' as I have always understood it.

@LangClegsInSpace that is incredible. Absolutely applauding you. Not a word wasted.

Exactly this. It's an erosion of boundaries.

Very well put @LangClegsInSpace - useful to see the history of Mumsnet’s approach to this particular topic. Does feel like the site is suddenly lurching in a new and very seedy direction.

What the brilliant @LangClegsInSpace said.

Thank you.

@LangClegsInSpace 👏👏

because we're all adults

Stunning, stunning post @LangClegsInSpace

And fabulous user name.

@HopeMumsnet @LilyMumsnet @mnhq

Can we have a response, please?

Unfortunately, you seem to be letting yourselves and us down quite badly at the moment.
Just take it off active ffs.
NOONE wants it

@LangClegsInSpace

Fantastic post.

I very much look forward to a reply from @HopeMumsnet @LilyMumsnet @MNHQ

Slightly nervous about posting on this particular thread - for full disclosure I am male. I post mainly in the litter tray. I neither post in, nor read threads in the sex topic.
Like others here I'm disappointed by the decision to add the sex topic to 'active', although as others have suggested I suspect this is connected with the recent sex toy sales push by MN.
To me this has fundamentally changed the ethos of this environment, the result is just to make the site feel rather seedy and unpleasant.

@mnhq Please follow the vast majority of posters above and change this back.

I genuinely don't have a problem with sex being in active.

Bully for you.

The majority of posters on this parenting site are mothers with children seeking advice and support. This site, 'by parents, for parents', does not 'make life easier for parents' if they have to either explain rimming and tit wanks to their children or avoid using the site at all while their chidren are around.

Most of the rest of the internet is drenched in sex. Do you have to do this here?

However, I do hate all the DM's from (usually married) men looking for a quick hook up.

You do realise that this is not a problem for anyone posting anywhere else on this parenting site? It happens very occasionally but you just report it and they get banned.

MNHQ appear to have created a whole topic for these creepy men. I suspect that most MNers were unaware of this little subculture until the sex topic appeared in active threads 👀

'Way to many women's institute members and snowflakes on the ban the sex chat thread so my ass is staying in this one'

This is just one post I've singled out on the sex chat thread. Calling anyone opposed to the sex forum WI members and snowflakes.

On a form for women. For parents. And now - for casual encounters.

I really hope nothing 'goes wrong' on one of these encounters. Wonder what stance MN would take then

Seconded. No one wants this. You will destroy your own forum by inviting men to turn it into another porn site.

Regardless of your thoughts about MN stance, the offending threads or pervy posters, I would hope you wish no harm to come to anyone @SauteedOwl.

They might lose their erections.

@FriendOfTheNight you misunderstand me - deliberately?

To spell it out ..

MN is not set up as a sex encounter site. So when men crawl all over threads, arranging hook ups, I really really hope that nothing goes wrong and a woman ends up getting hurt or worse

Does that make more sense?

And I've read back my post. How on earth did you come to a conclusion that I wished harm on someone when it's bloody obvious I'm talking about women's safety?

It was obvious what you meant. Saying you hoped nothing goes wrong is fairly easy to understand.

@Sparklingbrook thanks! Thought I was going mad there for a moment!