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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Urgently need to contact a moderator

156 replies

Palace13 · 19/03/2019 09:32

I have serious concerns for another member's safety.
Need to speak privately to someone about this.
I believe the person requires an urgent police welfare check.

OP posts:
HaventGotAllDay · 20/03/2019 16:32

I know who Zombie's rescuee was. The point I was making was that was another fuck up when moderators of an internet forum seemingly got a bit too involved in the real life of their users.
The police visited this guy at work? Really? How likely is that?
His user name itself was enough for a chinny reckon tbh.

LadyGregorysToothbrush · 20/03/2019 16:40

I think I read that MichaelMNHQ confirmed that they’d contacted police on the now deleted thread - or am I imagining things

motheroftinydragons · 20/03/2019 16:48

I don't know, there's is a level of duty of care. When I worked in financial services we had many people in serious debt threaten to harm themselves. At least one a week. We always, always reported to 101. Every single time.

99% of the time it was a false alarm. But once it wasn't and it was too late once the police got there. We only found out when the death certificate came through several weeks later.

We spoke to the police after and asked if we should be calling 999. They advised no, 101 was appropriate in those circumstances.

You can't be too careful. MNHQ are in a difficult position here.

PinkCrayon · 20/03/2019 16:54

I also thought it was confirmed @LadyGregorysToothbrush

DuvetOver · 20/03/2019 16:55

It was definitely confirmed.

NoCauseRebel · 20/03/2019 16:58

motheroftinydragons no they’re not. They have no duty of care at all to someone who only posts by a username

And quite aside from that let’s look at the likelihood here that this was even genuine. A man is feeling suicidal. So he goes online and somehow finds a website called “Mumsnet, a site by parents for parents,” he then joins said site and starts posting that he’s suicidal, at which point posters start engaging with him. Bearing in mind that as far as I’m aware, if you google suicidal it’s not likely that Mumsnet is going to be one of the first sites that comes up, so why would he post here? Then this morning he starts posting that the police have shown up at his place of work because Mumsnet have given them his details, and he’s angry because the police have divulged this information. So, given he’s now been betrayed on this site, he starts encouraging members of the site to send him private messages so he can speak to them off board from his place of work, you know, the place where the police have just tracked him down even though he was posting from somewhere else last night?

Come on! A bit of common sense, no?

pootyisabadcat · 20/03/2019 17:01

Very different circumstances, mother, because you were not dealing with anonymous users on a huge internet site.

PinkCrayon · 20/03/2019 17:03

He said he came on to the site because he was googling and found a post related to it, he went on to apologise for being on here if he shouldnt be. He also didnt claim it was mumsnet he thought someone had recognised him on here.
Mumsnet confirmed it was them.

NunoGoncalves · 20/03/2019 17:07

I don't see the point of speculating whether the OP was genuine or not. It hardly matters now does it? The T&Cs that we all agree to when we sign up state

"If there are compelling safeguarding considerations, we may share your data with public authorities without your permission. We understand 'compelling safeguarding considerations' to mean credible evidence of imminent risk of serious harm"

The OP was deemed as representing a compelling risk of serious harm to himself and so mumsnet notified the authorities. If he was a troll, fine, it's done with, if he was real, hopefully now he gets the help he needs.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:07

Did mumsnet confirm it was the who contacted the police on the deleted thread? It’s just so hard to believe.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:10

We understand 'compelling safeguarding considerations' to mean credible evidence of imminent risk of serious harm"

What counts as that? This forum is full of trolls and attention seekers. MNHQ regularly post that they can’t guarantee who a poster is or what they say is true.

HarperIsBazaar · 20/03/2019 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkCrayon · 20/03/2019 17:15

It was on the other deleted thread @HarperIsBazaar

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:15

I think I read that MichaelMNHQ confirmed that they’d contacted police on the now deleted thread

Mnhq could you comment on this?

NoCauseRebel · 20/03/2019 17:15

NunoGoncalves but if mn did contact the police then what was it about this poster which set him aside from the other posters who threaten suicide here and whose threads are deleted?

There have been multiple discussions about this in the past,and on multiple occasions mn have confirmed that they will delete threads and signpost the OP’s to professional resources. if Michael or whatever his name is has taken it upon himself to contact the police is that something which has now been agreed and has been universally understood by all of mn hq in which case I think that it’s only fair that users are told that suicide posts and others with safeguarding concerns i.e. posters posting about concerns for the welfare of a child/that they are being abused by a partner/anything else which might prompt someone to consider it a safeguarding concern run the risk of being reported to the police so they can decide whether or not to seek support here?

I have been posting here now for around fifteen years and this is a first. So if something has changed regardless of whether it’s in the terms, I do think that it’s fair that users be told so they can make more informed decisions in future.

The data is neither here or there fwiw, it’s the fact that some users do post here seeking support, and if those users feel that they will be reported to the police for doing so in any number of circumstances they might want to reconsider. And I’m not just talking about suicidal posts which as I’ve said above should IMO be deleted anyway.

tabulahrasa · 20/03/2019 17:22

You do all realise that MN can’t “send the police”

They’ll just show them what concerned them and the police decide what they think the appropriate course of action is...

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:23

it’s the fact that some users do post here seeking support, and if those users feel that they will be reported to the police for doing so in any number of circumstances they might want to reconsider.

Absolutely agree. If true, this has seriously made me seriously consider whether I want to be part of this site.

PinkCrayon · 20/03/2019 17:31

Its really tricky and I totally get your point @PurpleDaisies but it really did come across as a real post and to me if it was my relative going through that and not being able to speak to me I would want someone to help if they had ways of doing it.

I thought mumsnet handled the situation really well they were monitering the thread the whole time and giving advice for both the male poster and the other people commenting.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:35

Its really tricky and I totally get your point PurpleDaisies but it really did come across as a real post and to me if it was my relative going through that and not being able to speak to me I would want someone to help if they had ways of doing it.

I thought mumsnet handled the situation really well they were monitoring the thread the whole time and giving advice for both the male poster and the other people commenting.

They always do come across as real posters. That means nothing at all. If it was a real poster, the advice from mental health professionals and charities is that the threads are deleted. Why was this one left to stand and the police called if mnhq thought it was a real person? It doesn’t make sense.

The other people commenting were not mental health professionals and could easily have made the situation worse. I dread to think what was going on via pm.

NoCauseRebel · 20/03/2019 17:37

No mn hq absolutely did not handle it well. Handling it well would have been to remove the post and to speak to the poster off board about where to get professional help. Given he was so keen to speak to individual users off board he would presumably have been open to that?

And. You really cannot know if it was a real post. Years and years of trolls on mn just go to show that there is absolutely no way of knowing

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:42

I suppose the only good thing if this is s change in policy is that suicide trolls, domestic violence victim trolls and any other trolls who claim their life is at risk wont dare come here again because the police will turn up the next day. It will put off genuine people in need of support though.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 17:48

I have had an email from mnhq confirming they did call the police.

I am deeply disappointed by this.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/03/2019 17:50

@MNHQ can someone come and confirm why you broke protocol, please?

Why was the thread not deleted? Is this a Night Watch issue or something worse?

DuvetOver · 20/03/2019 17:55

NoCauseRebel. Also, the emotional hooks that he threw out that were the key to me. Can't remember his/her words, but something along the lines of 'you'll never know what the outcome will be' etc.

I don't doubt he/she has MH problems of some sort.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2019 18:03

I just don’t understand what happened here.

Mnhq decided the poster was suicidal and called the police. Since this has been confirmed by them it raises the serious question of why left his thread to stand even though their own policy says to delete them.