Urgently need to contact a moderator

[Palace13]

I have serious concerns for another member's safety.
Need to speak privately to someone about this.
I believe the person requires an urgent police welfare check.

[EntirelyAnonymised]

Did MN actually send someone round though or was it hyperbole from the poster?

[scissorlover]

Christ. What are MN supposed to do then if someone claims to be suicidal? Just say ‘that’s a shame but don’t make it our problem’ and delete the thread? If you’re that worried about the police turning up at your door, don’t post on a public forum that you’re about to kill yourself

[Contraceptionismyfriend]

I don't blame MN. Insta and Facebook have recently been held responsible for young people committing suicide and self harming as they apparently didn't remove posts quick enough or monitor enough. I personally don't think these sites are responsible. However I would see why MN would not want the same spotlight on them. Better to be safe than sorry.

[TwitterQueen1]

MN does not have the right to meddle in people's lives like this

Suicidal posts are a cry for help. Maybe if someone had 'meddled' in Mike Thalassitis' life he would still be alive.

[TheHolySmirk]

They can be safe by removing the fucking post Contraceptionismyfriend .

Not sending the police or whatever agency is fashionable next week in to the private lives of posters, based on the faux concerns of some anonymous drama loving twat.

Anyone could play the long game here, using any address and details as their own, and play havoc with someone's life.

[LadyGregorysToothbrush]

I thought suicidal threads were usually deleted. There was long and heated discussion about the appropropriate course of action a couple of years back. Wonder why/when that changed.

[EntirelyAnonymised]

scissor, it sounds harsh but yes. MN aren’t trained mental health professionals. The best they can do is signpost to relevant services (like The Samaritans helpline) and delete the thread. Mumsnet isn’t the appropriate place for those threads. They can be very triggering for other vulnerable posters and are also a magnet for well-meaning but often clueless supporters.

[EntirelyAnonymised]

They usually do delete suicidal threads, I don’t know why this one stood, Lady

[NoCauseRebel]

Mn have no business getting involved in this kind of thing. Suicidal posts need to be removed immediately and where possible the poster needs to be directed to RL support. As it is all mn have to go on is a username and an IP address. How is it even possible to know whose house you’re sending the police to? There could be ten students living in that house or one person on their own whose neighbour has piggy-backed on their WIFI.

I suspect that this has nothing at all to do with concern for the welfare of individuals and everything to do with fear of litigation.

[TheWildRumpyPumpus]

I find this strange, especially if Samaritans have advised this course of action. As a Samaritan we don’t track IPs, phone numbers, anything else that would enable us to do something like this, and indeed we wouldn’t try to divert someone from taking this course of action in such an aggressive way. Talk about removing sources of support for someone who may be feeling desperate to be heard.

[EntirelyAnonymised]

NoCause, or they could be using IP masking software (pretty common), so it might not even be a genuine IP address.

[NoCauseRebel]

scissorlover yes. Nobody on mn is qualified to deal with someone who is suicidal. MN is a chat forum not a mental health resource. As harsh as that is. And the truth is that there is no way of knowing A, who the individual is, and B, who the people posting advice are. After all, just as people might post that someone needs to get help how can you be sure that someone isn’t going to encourage them to do exactly what they say they want to do. The post needs to be removed immediately because as much as there are genuine posts threatening suicide there will also be ones who are just trolls taking the mick. And there’s absolutely no way of knowing who is who and who may be triggered or even spurred into following suit by their posts.

[TheHolySmirk]

You'd really think Justine might have some insight into how it feels to have the police crash into your home on someone else's say so.

[NoCauseRebel]

The Samaritans afaik aren’t allowed to intervene. So even if someone rings to say they are going to commit suicide the handler will stay on the line with them while they do it if need be.

[OurChristmasMiracle]

I actually Think that if someone is in a crisis and asking for help maybe someone (Moderators) in this case stepping in would be a positive. I am sure mumsnet don’t just go “so and so says they plan to kill themselves let’s send police round”

It would probably be a behind the scenes private messaging/emails with the person followed by if they felt that the person needed immediate intervention then a referral to police or social care. It should be where ever possible done with the knowledge and consent of the person.

Would any of us like the idea that someone died because they didn’t get help and it could have been prevented?

[JinglingHellsBells]

I think MN should follow the Samaritan's guidelines- even they cannot intervene.

[CatG85]

I'm really shocked at the amount of people worried more about breach of data than the possibility of someone committing suicide. Welcome to 2019!

[FriarTuck]

Says it all, doesn't it CatG85...

[Samind]

Absolutely agree that if someone's welfare is genuinely believed to be jeopardised then it isn't a breach. I know people who have committed suicide and some of them didn't reach out and I wish to God they had if. If this place can be a last chance help for someone then so be it. If I'm concerned about a thread then I'd report it and leave it up to MN discretion. How they deal with it is per their policy. It's not as if we're noaning about partners or kids and theyre sending social services or relationship counsellors round ..

[Samind]

Also when someone on the phone to be was threatening suicide. I rang their local mental health team (I was miles away) and they asked me to ask them IF they sent someone over would the person let the mental health professional into their home FFS. Seems were all a bit clueless

[ReanimatedSGB]

I would hope that the moderators reach out to the poster and perhaps get their permission to call for professional help. But I also think it's reasonable that MNHQ don't go into detail about what they do on the open forums, because that's likely to cause more trouble.

(And BTW, as someone who got 'swatted' in the great trollfight of 2015 - if your online security is fairly reasonable, no fucker can find you anyway: the police were sent to the wrong address and were only able to contact me through finding a semi-professional contact of mine...)

[TheHolySmirk]

OurChristmasMiracle and Cat the Samaritan's, whose advice MN supposedly take, advocate non intervention.

If someone wants to die, the most important thing is that they are listened to. If someone wants to die, being betrayed on that scale will surely send them right over the edge.

If someone is an attention seeking fuckwit who gets off on drama, I'm sure they'd just love your need to add to it by bringing a shitstorm to their doorstep.