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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I Would Like To Propose A Solution To The Trans Threads Problem

559 replies

DioneTheDiabolist · 31/08/2016 22:08

Dear MNHQ, I am pissed off with all the Trans threads. I understand that you don't wish to stifle debate/free speech and all that shit, so I propose 4 threads where all trans posts can be hidden go.

A Fuck Trans thread. For posters who hate that people are trans.
A Yay Trans thread. For posters who wish to support trans people.
A Trans Bunfight Club thread. For posters on the other two threads who want to have a bit of a ruck.
And a What MNHQ Have To Say About Trans Threads thread. For, well I think you get my drift.

All other trans posts on the site can be deleted, no other threads can be started and I can enjoy the site more.

OP posts:
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Albadross · 25/09/2016 09:34

But these are issues that cannot simply be nicely compartmentalised - they are woven into everything because they affect everyone. Some of us have learned a lot about things they'd never thought about before and as one of those people I'm always open to learning why people think the way they do. I've changed my own views as a result.

You can't start confining trans issues to one section any more than you can stop people talking about DHs, men, women, DCs etc.

WappersReturns · 25/09/2016 11:22

I just want to add my plea for this topic not to be stifled, dismissed or confined to a specific topic. Many of you have no idea how very important this issue is unless it directly influences your life.

6 months ago I deregged my account after many years here because I felt distressed at what I believed to be a culture of transphobia on MN. It upset me personally because my 11 year old DD at that time identified as a boy. She had already announced the year before that she liked girls, and she's always been repelled by anything "girly". She had made some attempts to swallow battery acid because "she hated herself and would never fit in" so naturally when she expressed her desire to "be a boy" I clung to the hope that this was how I could help her be herself and be happy.

I commented on one or two threads here at the beginning but as the trans thing exploded I felt overwhelmed and attacked. So I left.

I remembered the discussions though, and it provoked in me a desire to prove that this wasn't down to my DD being damaged by the patriarchal view of women or gendered norms. So alongside consulting the GP, Ed Psych, a psychiatric referral and a referral to a gender clinic, I set out working hard to establish with her that her biological sex had no influence over how masculine or feminine she could be or whether she liked boys or girls. I showed her examples of very feminine men and masculine women. Eventually it became clear that her desire to be a boy was because she felt she didn't conform to 'girl', because she felt girls would like her more if she was a boy and because she felt that boys get a better deal in general.

I felt sick to my stomach that the consultant was discussing hormone blockers at the time I discovered that my child was not suffering from dysphoria, she was suffering from getting a shitty deal as a female person who wasn't straight and wasn't feminine but was too young to realise that she wasn't alone and wasn't 'wrong'. I had genuinely thought my children were immune to it as I have always considered myself a feminist and thought my parenting reflected that.

DD is now a girl who is growing breasts and is fine with that. She wears boxer shorts and boys clothes and cropped hair and is often mistaken for a boy which she finds hilarious.

If it weren't for the threads I read here my child at 11, would have been on hormone blockers and in therapy working towards transition. At 11. It took the women here to help me figure out that my daughter didn't want a penis, she wanted to stop being made to feel weird because she wasn't feminine. I can never ever thank you all enough and I just want you all to know that what you are doing here matters.

venusinscorpio · 25/09/2016 11:30

That's fantastic. Very happy that you daughter is able to be happy in her own skin.

JacquettaWoodville · 25/09/2016 12:23

Wappers, so glad your DD got some good support from you.

JacquettaWoodville · 25/09/2016 12:26

"Izzy, I did not start this thread as a stealth debate."

Dione, if you really wanted this thread to be a neutral request, surely your proposed sub topics would have been something like "trans sceptical" and "trans supportive" and not used words like "fuck trans" and "hate".

As a PP said, this is a way to get in the slur that posters concerned about the impact on born women are "haters"

geekaMaxima · 25/09/2016 12:40

wappers that's an amazing post. It's so worrying that insufficiently-tested medical interventions are proposed for children before considering that stereotyped expectations of behaviour could be the cause of their deep unhappiness and depression.

I'm delighted your DD is happy in herself. Good for her and good for you - you sound like a fantastic parent!

WappersReturns · 25/09/2016 12:53

Thank you! It's horrifying that despite the number of professionals involved in trying to help her, I was the only person to raise the question of why she felt this way. Which I wouldn't have done to the degree I did had I not been a member of MN.

The alternative just doesn't bear thinking about Sad

IBelieveTheEarthIsFlat · 25/09/2016 13:11

Wow wappers. You are an brilliant mother. so good to hear that your daughter is happier. These 'professionals' have a lot to answer for. Good for you foe challenging them. MN enlightened me to the reality of the Trans debate too. Previously I would have taken the classic liberal view. It's too important to be stifled. All the best to you and your daughter

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 25/09/2016 22:35

Thats great wappers

I am glad your DD is more comfortable in herself

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