Welcome back SpecialAgent and thank you for your openness and bravery.
I am reflecting on 35+ years of being a feminist. I fought for the right to be whatever I wanted as a woman - not just girly, pink, submissive and feminine. I am lucky enough to have had a successful career, a loving husband and great kids who all love and accept me as Working, a woman, with a mix of attributes that you could typify as being both male and female if you were applying gender constructs to me. We fought for that and to allow women to be whatever they want, not forced into stereotyped boxes determined for them by men.
And my discomfort has been rising for some years and I didn't know why. I am grateful to all those on Mumsnet who have helped me through intelligent discussion and debate from both sides, helping me to unpick my feelings. So I now know my discomfort with Caitlin Jenner is partly because she (and i use her preferred pronoun consciously and with respect, but do not believe she is a woman as after all she has a cock and balls and continues to benefit from her male privilege) represents a stereotyped view of what it means to be a woman (all about looks and clothes) and therefore she should not be held up to be a female role model. I want her to find peace and happiness, dressing and behaving however she likes. But the Today Programme making her one of their Women of the Year was deeply wrong, and had the effect of displacing another biological woman from that list, who would probably have achieved despite oppression and would hence have been far worthier and a better role model.
And at the same time, we have the pornification of our culture and the role models for young girls are women who look indistinguishable from the porn stars of my youth (Kim Kardashian anyone) and in fact release sex tapes aka porn to boost their profiles. Again, women are being told this is what they should aspire to. Who created this I wonder? Who benefits?
I worry for my DD and for other young girls when these images surround them and seem to dominate modern culture. They are being told they have to become a stereotyped 'woman' in the image of what men desire, or else they must be transmen. Women are no longer being allowed to be a wide range of personalities and types. And men like Bruce Jenner was, are trying to establish their definition of what being a woman means as the primary one which we must all accept. After 35 years of self-determination, men are rising up against us and trying to impose their definitions and rules on us once again. The media, health services and policy makers all seem to have kowtowed to this and to TRAs in an attempt to seem right on and not be attacked or silenced. I know I have avoided saying anything publicly until now as I didn't want the attacks I know come with saying anything which others can choose to deem 'transphobic'.
When they no-platformed Germaine Greer, I felt that it was wrong but didn't know why and worried I was being politically incorrect to feel that way. Now I know why it is right to feel that way, and focus on Burke's comment 'All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.' We have to start standing up for ourselves, and MNHQ, as a platform for millions of women, you can no longer play scared and try to keep everyone happy.