MNHQ - are they disabilist?

[Sixweekstowait]

Having had a thread deleted with no communication with me until I asked ( but then I'm disabled and so invisible) , having read on the second class citizen thread of examples of disabilist language which HQ defend, I am beginning to think they are. I now think they were really really wrong to delete my thread and that they have NO IDEA about the everyday discrimination that people with disabilities face in even trying to travel to work, care even less and I would like to know how many of their staff are disabled?

Anyone who uses "play the xxx card" is already being unreasonable, IMHO. It's such ashittything to say.

Apologies. Didn't mean to offend with that turn of phrase. Disabilities aren't an excuse for certain things, is what I'm saying.

i think its all about keeping disabled people in their place.
you can have goady threads like the one running now. you report and just get told that the op has been around a while and has no form!!
yet the op is still goady. the thread is still full of some nasty stuff and yet thats ok.
but as it seems I no longer have a child with sn(yep really) as they are an adult!! maybe I should shut up.
this op should be allowed to post in anger.

It's like muffle says. If you are dealing with disabilities and get angry it's a license for people to call you all sorts and claim you are just looking for an excuse to slam people who aren't disabled/ part of a brigade/ just wanting to attack innocent people. Like happened to OP on deleted thread.

Sick of it, but still won't shut up and not address disablism.

As someone said before if you are addressing disablism/disabled you are somehow expected to be all nice fluffy and humble even if really upset and reading outrageous stuff.

No, I don't understand Miffle but I do understand how upsetting my sister finds it when she gets shit from people for using bb spaces, for example.

MiffleTheIntrovert 100% agree

Sorry..*miffle

Fanjo please remind me where I demanded apologies.

My child has a hidddn disability yet I didn't jump all over that OP. Yet I am accused of jumping on innocent people by someone who DID jump on OP.

Bloody unbelievable here sometimes

she needs to apologise said more than once.

Not interested in arguing further, have made my point.

Maybe I'm naive but I like to think that people for the most part aren't being malicious or nasty or disablist on purpose, rather they are clumsily navigating a subject that they don't understand.

But people are terrified on here to even ask or speak about something to do with SN in case they get attacked or accused of things. And that's not ok either.

You pointed that out to me once from the other thread, not 'more than once' and you said I did it on this thread.

Where?

Walter Your earlier apology is accepted, but maybe have a think about how much you are upsetting people here with your posts now that you have acknowledged you didn't mean to offend, but did.

It's like me going onto a thread discussing the problems faced by (for example) gay people and saying "stop playing the gay card" and "my sister is gay" so I understand. I wouldn't dream of doing that (and I guess you probably wouldn't either funnily enough) so stop doing it with people with disabilities
.

Have answered a nicely worded question about SN 10000000 times

But sometimes people don't ask in a nice way and then people are upset by their sneering or exclusion. Often they are deleted as goading. But objecting to that still is dragged up in arguments as jumping on any innocent question.

Whatever. Am secure in fact I will answer any nicely well meant question I can, and often do :)

Have a nice day walter

But people are terrified on here to even ask or speak about something to do with SN in case they get attacked or accused of things"

And this isn't the case. There was a great thread recently where someone wanted advice on asking a DC to SN to a birthday party. It was lovely.

People who offend and upset others through a huge lack of sensitivity and insight do get called out. Look at the response to your posts here. We aren't doing it to attack you. We are responding to posts which are, quite frankly, insensitive at best and upsetting to us.

What miffle said. X 100000. Thanks for saying it better than I can miffle

i have a feeling that someone is trying to turn this into a bunfight. maybe they want this thread gone as well. perhaps best to ignore them(and think about their user name)

You just can't admit you were wrong. Sad, that.

This will be difficult to phrase so forgive me if I fuck it.

I genuinely appreciate that posters who know or are related to someone with disability are filled with a desire to empathise. It's brilliant and not the slightest bit negative.

But if that desire to empathise gets tipped into a quiet belief that they 'understand' I think sometimes that does more harm than good.
Unless it is your life, your beloved child, your heartbreak and exhaustion, depression and isolation. The effort to do the simplest bloody thing. The worries about the future. The never ending low level hostility or curiosity. The full knowledge that this is it, it will never change. You don't understand and implying you do, or worse, believing that you do is not helpful.

My son has many uncles, aunts and cousins. They love him dearly, they try to understand but they haven't got a fucking clue.

It's no ones fault. But 'I know because my cousins, neighbour, little girl at school is disabled' is really unhelpful.

I am stepping away for the sake of my blood pressure.

That obviously wasn't a response to your post pag. You have explained it very well, as has Fanjo.

I am absolutely 100% sure that any offence or insensitivity on my part is accidental and I sincerely apologise for it.

I can't claim to know what it's like, only to love someone who lives it. And the people I know in rl know I'm the furthest thing from disablist. So that's good enough for me.

You understand I'm not calling you disablist Walter.
I'm just trying to explain how it feels to read or hear 'I understand because of my niece, neighbour, child at school'

I don't expect you to apologise. I'm just trying to explain why those type of comments are not easy to hear. Because however open hearted and well intentioned, unless it's your life you don't know.

The woman who ran a specialist provision for children with ASD was talking to me about my son and I said 'well I'm sure you know what it's like' . She caught me and said 'no I don't. I've done this for 20 years and I have no clue because I go home every night'

She nailed it.

i agree pagwatch\its like the posts from teachers carers.
yes of course they ahve a lot of understanding.
but its never the same as being the parent

'people are terrified on here to even ask or speak about something to do with SN in case they get attacked or accused of things.'

There is are SN boards which people can post on to ask about SN. If people genuinely want to post/ask about SN then that would be the place to start. Those boards are full of parents with first hand experience.

A thread about an 'SN child' in the playground in AIBU (for example) is almost guaranteed to kick off.

Oh, I know Pag. I just wanted to apologise if I seemed like I claim to know.