<rings festive bells<adjusts fairy lights> Gather one, gather all, for the Mumsnet Secret Santa 2015!

[SandyMumsnet]

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
but Mumsnetters are so delightful,
since we've no place to go,
let gifts flow, let gifts flow, let gifts flow...

Yes, folks, it's that most wonderful time of the year: the day we launch the Mumsnet Secret Santa! True, it's only the end of September, but Santa requires plenty of time to prepare his sleigh

Secret what, you say? You mean you don't KNOW? Grab a snifter of gin and a cinnamon danish and come sit by us while we tell you all about it.

The way it works is this: we ask Mumsnetters to nominate a fellow Mumsnetter* - someone who's had a tough time recently, perhaps, or someone who has been a fantastic source of support to others - to receive a Christmas gift. At the same time, we also ask for gift donations. Once the nominations and donation offers have come in, we at MNHQ match nominees with donors, and contact the donors to tell them where to send their gifts. Et voila: Merry Christmas, everyone.

And just to be clear: this really is a SECRET Santa. Thanks to our tinselled-up tech team, everyone who takes part in the process is anonymous: special Christmas codenames are assigned at the start to both nominee and donor. Neither the team working on matching up nominees to donors nor the donor sending out the present will have anyone's name or username details, and only those who donate will see the address (and only the address - not the username) of the nominee they've been matched with. Security is our number one priority - if you've any questions or concerns, please do ask on the thread (or email us at [email protected]).

But back to the gifts. This year we've created a special

Secret Santa Christmas grotto

where you'll find all the information you need on how to get involved, an explanation of how this annual feat of logistical wonderment works, and an account of how it came about in the first place.

The grotto is also the place where you can make your nomination (at any time between now and October 15th ) and/or pledge to donate (up until 30th October). There are more details about what sort of thing you might wish to give over there too (vouchers are always a good idea), but basically, every gift is welcome. The idea is to spread some festive cheer and make a Mumsnetter's Christmas that little bit more joyful by showing them that they're in your thoughts.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have something in our eyes.

*Nominated Mumsnetters do need to have been around for six months. We'll be able to see from our end if that's the case, even if they've namechanged.

Exactly Sparkling - it does say as well that you can nominate anyone you want to for whatever reason you want to, they don't have to have a sob story.

I did that this time, I nominated someone whose posts always make me laugh.

I'm sorry, but I tend to keep well clear of this event too. I think it has huge potential to go horribly wrong in all sorts of ways. The crucial bit is that we don't know each other - it isn't like a workplace or something.
It's an online space and as such I feel the boundaries need to be kept clear.

I hope those doing it enjoy it but I can't really join in. (Also I agree that those who are nominated seem to be those who mention how badly off they are, rather than necessarily those who need it most)

Thumbwitch, that surprises me. I was nominated one year and refused it in favour of someone who might need it more, in fact I was embarrassed to receive anything. I was allowed to decline the nomination and they agreed to pass on my thanks.

I don't think it's MNHQs call to decide who needs anything 'more'.

No, but I didn't need it (or rather didn't want it) and therefore I didn't want them to send anything. They agreed this was fine.

How did you know what it was?

It was a few years ago, Sapele, before MNHQ had fully taken it over, I believe.

I think there's a bit of a misconception about the types of gift sent.

People have visions of Fortnum and Mason food hampers and vouchers for ££££s.
From previous thank you threads it can be something as simple as a home made Christmas tree decoration or a box of chocolates.

So it's hard to say who is deserving of a small thoughtful handmade gift or not.

I nominated someone once and they did acknowledge it on a thank you thread but I got the impression they were embarassed.

Erm Sparkling, I meant 'it' as in the nomination, not the item itself. Hope that clarifies. I obvs had no idea what might have been sent.

Erm ok Sapele.

I think it's a shame for the people nominating in good faith, thinking their nomination will get something, and ultimately they don't because they don't want it. But the person nominating will never know.

To those saying it's a huge popularity contest, I reluctantly have to agree with you. Every year you see the same big "names" getting nominated.

I have been here since 2009 and have name changed every single week. I have posted about some really horrendous things, redundancies, serious illnesses, marriage, mortgage and financial problems, family problems, all sorts. If I'd posted all the awful stuff from over the past few years under the same name I'd probably be accused of trolling, because nobody's life could be that bad, right?! But because I NC, no one ever 'knows' me or my story.

To those saying it's a huge popularity contest, I reluctantly have to agree with you. Every year you see the same big "names" getting nominated.

Where do you find that information? It's all done anonymously I thought.

I thought it was all anonymous too, although some people come on the thank you threads using their normal names, that's how I saw the response from the person I'd nominated. There is a MNer I know IRL who has been nominated, she only ever posts on two long running threads, she's about as low profile as you could be, but clearly someone on those threads thinks a lot of her.

Well this is it, you have to be 'thought a lot of' to get nominated, and that means a lot of very nice people don't get nominated, because they either don't post the very awful stuff, or post it under another name, or they are shy and people don't think of them when something like this comes up, or maybe they are not very skilled on social forums, at being popular. It doesn't come naturally to many people.

It's a kind of lottery meritocracy in a way and I think it's kind of past its sell by date tbh. MN is huge, has grown exponentially since the old days and really, I don't quite get the community spirit thing any more.

In a way that is progress and it went wrong in the old days too (not mentioning any velvet coats or anything) but I don't like the idea of meet ups now, and this is kind of in that category of RL crossover too.

Sparklingbrook, as I said, MNHQ told the person who had put in the nomination and sent them my thanks for suggesting it. They were made aware that I didn't want to be included. I was anxious not to cause offence but it just didn't feel right.

I have donated twice, and twice knew exactly who the MNer was. Neither was particularly appreciative of my efforts (and one was a fecking hamper ) And no, I didn't do it for the thanks, but both times I was left feeling a little underwhelmed (as both of them clearly had been quid pro quo I suppose...)

It's definitely not anonymous. It's well known as well that some MNers are given a lot of information about their recipient which leaves me cold. That is so not on. And to ask specifically for a specific person is so wrong on so many levels. If you've got a frock you want to give to your mate on MN, just send it her FFS.

And in all honesty, most of the thankyous are talking about ginormous hampers etc. Which does make the box-of-chocolates giver feel a bit shit.

Finally, to say it's not a popularity contest is a bit disingenuous. The only person going to vote for Ms GoadyFucker of Trollsville is Ms Sockpuppet of Fakertown after all. It's good that it's a popularity thing when we are talking about people who give up time, or just make other folk laugh and so deserve a Toblerone but the competitive giving (and mentionitis, why have people on this thread even felt the need to say "I've done it, I've done it!" if not to say "look at me!!! I'm generous and lovely, me!"

If that's true that the person giving the gift is given a lot of information about the recipient, I am really glad I didn't do it. Sorry if that makes me a bad person, but the idea of someone knowing stuff about my personal situation freaks me out.

It was bad enough when our old HV turned up on the doorstep just before Christmas with a charity box of random groceries that were intended for old and vulnerable, saying it was a spare, and she thought I might like it.

I was mortified. I pretended to be grateful but the knock to ones pride can be immense.

I don't remember ever being given loads of info. Just what sex and age the DC were. Doesn't narrow it down much.

Certainly not enough to identify anyone. Not that I retain loads of information about other posters anyway.

And this is why I reckon donations to Women's Aid would be preferable. I can get warm and fuzzy about giving them money or stuff, more than I can to a name on a screen. If people have made us laugh or feel good by their posts or whatever, we could always PM and tell them so. I'd be as happy with that as I would with a box of chocolates.

Having donated a few times over the last few years, Sparkling, IIRC we are given the exact information from the nominees - I suspect directly from their 'acceptance'. I.e. number of DC, their ages - but also any other information about their lives that they've provided.

I think that MNHQSecretSantaSandyElves (!) literally C&P from the acceptance onto the information sent on to us.

Last year, and I won't go into detail, I discovered that one of the MNers I was sending to had a very specific scenario in her life. I didn't know her - in fact I wasn't even aware of her on here at all - but it gave me pause for thought about what I'd send.

The wonderful Let Toys Be Toys originated on Mumsnet yet you are asking people choose either girl or boy?!

Are you sure about this?

When I was nominated I just gave dds age and fact she had sn.
I've donated twice. First Tim I got a lot of info including that the poster was disabled, what disabilities they had, that they had had a tough year and why. It was easy for me to recognise them.