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<rings festive bells<adjusts fairy lights> Gather one, gather all, for the Mumsnet Secret Santa 2015!

279 replies

SandyMumsnet · 24/09/2015 12:05

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
but Mumsnetters are so delightful,
since we've no place to go,
let gifts flow, let gifts flow, let gifts flow...

Yes, folks, it's that most wonderful time of the year: the day we launch the Mumsnet Secret Santa! True, it's only the end of September, but Santa requires plenty of time to prepare his sleigh Wink

Secret what, you say? You mean you don't KNOW? Grab a snifter of gin and a cinnamon danish and come sit by us while we tell you all about it.

The way it works is this: we ask Mumsnetters to nominate a fellow Mumsnetter* - someone who's had a tough time recently, perhaps, or someone who has been a fantastic source of support to others - to receive a Christmas gift. At the same time, we also ask for gift donations. Once the nominations and donation offers have come in, we at MNHQ match nominees with donors, and contact the donors to tell them where to send their gifts. Et voila: Merry Christmas, everyone.

And just to be clear: this really is a SECRET Santa. Thanks to our tinselled-up tech team, everyone who takes part in the process is anonymous: special Christmas codenames are assigned at the start to both nominee and donor. Neither the team working on matching up nominees to donors nor the donor sending out the present will have anyone's name or username details, and only those who donate will see the address (and only the address - not the username) of the nominee they've been matched with. Security is our number one priority - if you've any questions or concerns, please do ask on the thread (or email us at [email protected]).

But back to the gifts. This year we've created a special

Secret Santa Christmas grotto

where you'll find all the information you need on how to get involved, an explanation of how this annual feat of logistical wonderment works, and an account of how it came about in the first place.

The grotto is also the place where you can make your nomination (at any time between now and October 15th ) and/or pledge to donate (up until 30th October). There are more details about what sort of thing you might wish to give over there too (vouchers are always a good idea), but basically, every gift is welcome. The idea is to spread some festive cheer and make a Mumsnetter's Christmas that little bit more joyful by showing them that they're in your thoughts.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have something in our eyes.

*Nominated Mumsnetters do need to have been around for six months. We'll be able to see from our end if that's the case, even if they've namechanged.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/10/2015 02:50

Either that or the nominator missed the nomination deadline, Usual. That happens too.

Sparklingbrook · 03/10/2015 09:20

All sorts can happen presumably. Someone could say they will donate, then for a bajillion reasons not be able to ultimately. Anything from awful family crisis to not actually being arsed to do it.

EmmanuelleMumsnet · 03/10/2015 12:28

@sleepyelectricsheep

The wonderful Let Toys Be Toys originated on Mumsnet yet you are asking people choose either girl or boy?!

Are you sure about this?

You make a very good point of course, thank you. We just thought that question might help the matching process on a practical level - but as you know, we definitely have no allegiance to gender specified toys! And we have every trust in Mumsnetters' choices Smile.

AsTimeGoesBy · 03/10/2015 12:41

The one time I donated, I had little information so sent vouchers and a nice candle, the thank you list was full of gushing posts about huge piles of thoughtful gifts for all the family, all individually chosen and wrapped etc. My recipient sounded slightly underwhelmed in her thank you (and I don't blame her) and I felt as though I should have made more effort but had thought it was intended to be a token gift, rather than bankrolling someone's entire Christmas. I just feel there's too much potential to put your foot in it one way or another.

AndDeepBreath · 03/10/2015 12:49

.... Maybe there could be a spending limit like an office Secret Santa (Or would that miss the point?!)

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 12:59

EmmanuelleMumsnet thanks for the reply.

So are you going to change it?

SheWhoDaresGins · 03/10/2015 15:07

I didn't receive mine last year. I was all excited as well as I don't get presents ever

Will nominate someone though Wink

AndDeepBreath · 03/10/2015 16:53

Re "gender" and toys. Really? I'm prepared to get totally flamed here of course as I don't have kids yet. But surely mumsnetters could ignore genders mentioned and buy a gender neutral sort of gift if they choose to.

Meanwhile I'll bet that some posters who think "ooh, I'll just regift that extra Zombie-Army-Assassin Monster Truck" would like to have a hint if it was actually meant to be for a 7 year old girl.

Whether you agree with gender generalisations or not, in this instance wouldn't you rather someone was more likely to get it a bit right than made a political point?

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 17:07

AndDeepBreath you've missed the point. The online form asks if you have bought the gift for a girl or a boy.

Mumsnet shouldn't be supporting the idea that toys - in fact their form implies all toys even - are either "for girls" or "for boys".

Toys are for children, and are best matched to their interests not their gender.

If you wonder why this matters have a look at www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk

AndDeepBreath · 03/10/2015 17:14

Thanks sleepy, that's an informative link ...

But I think you might have missed my point too - which is that given toys are gendered (whether they should be or not) why use the Mumsnet Christmas cheer campaign to make that point? It just seems daft to me.

However I don't have kids and maybe a 10 year old boy could be over the moon with a Barbie doll, and so on. Probably depends on the kid.

Maybe the question should be "what toys do your kids like" so they can answer "obsessed with dinosaurs / pink dolls". But then I guess the giver who couldn't afford the latest Barbie or whatever would feel lousy too...

TendonQueen · 03/10/2015 17:27

I would think adding an 'Either' option would be the best compromise. That covers gifts intended for more than one child across genders, and anything else that seems wrong to categorise as just boy/girl.

AsTimeGoesBy · 03/10/2015 17:30

I agree with AndDeep on this, and think Sleepy has missed the point too, plus been a bit condescending. Whether we like it or not a pink frilly doll is more likely to be appreciated by say a 5yo girl than a 5yo boy, and in this scenario I think that is more important than the fight against stereotyping which is better done closer to home.

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 17:41

What about a painting kit? Would you tick boy or girl?

A ball?
Duplo?
A drum?
An aquadraw?
A teddy?
A farm set?
A toy telescope?
A giggling monkey toy?
A jigsaw?
A toddler board game?

Would you make them "girls" or "boys"? It's plainly a silly question in this context, no?

Sparklingbrook · 03/10/2015 17:41

I agree with AndDeep.

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 17:46

"toys are gendered".

Not all toys are marketed by gender.

Have a look at this website for an example of an entire shop of toys not aimed at either gender.

www.whirligigtoys.co.uk/aboutus.aspx

Sparklingbrook · 03/10/2015 17:49

Not everyone who donates is buying new toys from a shop.

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 17:57

"Maybe the question should be "what toys do your kids like" so they can answer "obsessed with dinosaurs / pink dolls". But then I guess the giver who couldn't afford the latest Barbie or whatever would feel lousy too..."

You've misunderstood how the (brilliant!) Mumsnet secret santander works (or maybe I have?!)

As I understand it, people donate toys and gifts with no idea who they are for.

It's not like the donors get a specific person to donate to like a usual secret santa. People just say what they want to donate, then mumsnet match them with a recipient - one they think will appreciate the gift.

Donors are being asked to specify whether their gift is for a girl or a boy. So if you gift a toddler jigsaw,.or a keyboard, or a playdoh set for example you will have to then declare whether it is for a boy or girl, which is pretty silly, isn't it?

FruSirkaOla · 03/10/2015 18:04

".... Mumsnet secret santander ..."
May I have a wee chuckle at that hilarious typo/DYAC? Grin

It must be so hard for Sandy and her Elves to co-ordinate all of this, but they do a fab job Xmas Smile

sleepyelectricsheep · 03/10/2015 19:21

"Mumsnet secret santander"

DYAC!

Blush Grin

AsTimeGoesBy · 03/10/2015 19:42

Sleepy - it works both ways. You can either say "lego set" and be matched with someone who might like lego or you can opt to find out about your recipient before going out to buy something.

In the first scenario there's no obligation to say boy or girl but you can if it's relevant. There are text boxes too so you can put description rather than tick check boxes.

Tneconni · 03/10/2015 23:17

We just thought that question might help the matching process on a practical level - but as you know, we definitely have no allegiance to gender specified toys!

Surely this is an oxymoron?

sleepyelectricsheep · 04/10/2015 09:08

"Sleepy - it works both ways. You can either say "lego set" and be matched with someone who might like lego or you can opt to find out about your recipient before going out to buy something."

Does that mean we were both right or both wrong?! Grin

If there was a MN exam, the intricacies of MN secret santa would be an advanced question I reckon!

SilverNightFairy · 04/10/2015 13:39

I've just done my bit. I was nominated a few years ago and receiving that email was wonderful for me. I am not a well known or popular poster. The lovely gift I received, made a difference to me. I felt fabulous knowing someone took time (and money) out of their holiday to think of me.

SouthWestmom · 04/10/2015 15:03

I received an email re my donee listing family members and what they liked, how old they are so I don't think it's a general, unconnected gift. I think you get matched with a specific poster.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/10/2015 07:40

Noeuf - yes, once you've been matched with a nominee, you get the details that the nominee supplied, just not their name/MN identity.

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