After the SN-not-in-Active-Convos but only in own link thing...

[hub2dee]

I never see any, because old habits die hard, and I keep clicking 'Active Conversations - All Topics'.

And I think that's a real shame.

Is that just me being dense and lazy ? It's obviously not hard to click the other thing...

I just wish it was integrated into the normal 'view' you get. I don't want to not be able to see it.

Am I alone ?

[aaronsmummy]

Again I am saddened by Mumsnet - I love this site and jj and Fio et al have given me invaluable advice and support since ds2's dx, I couldn't manage without them. Being out of active convo's works for me atm and to be honest i don;t care who looks in as long as the threads don;t end up like this one - some of the comments on here are out of order and should be deleted. An innocent thread has again been (deliberately?) misinterpreted. I am sure hub didn;t mean it to turn out like this.

[LittleSarah]

I haven't noticed a change at all as I just look on last hour and sn still comes up. I certainly don't feel excluded, I don't comment much but do read sometimes, and it doesn't seem too hard to click a different button. Usually just takes time for people to get used to a new format.

But, that is just my opinion!

[tigermoth]

so, what do people think about having something about the SN topic on the home page?

[hub2dee]

(damn right aaron's mum ! Can't believe it is so difficult these days to keep threads civil !)

[hamstermunker]

I don't feel comfortable posting on SN threads because I fret too much about other people thinking I'm being patronising or sarcastic when I'm not. Probably nobody would think I was being either - it's my problem, not the problem of the SN threads. But that's why I don't post on them very often.

FGS, I know it's only a mouseclick over, and I do still skim the titles sometimes, to see if there's anything my limited knowledge of a miniscule number of SN-related subjects could help with - but there usually isn't! I will post on a "triumph" thread though - and now I'm worrying this is an insensitive turn of phrase (because I am by nature a fretter, OK!).

[hamstermunker]

QoQ has emailed me to say would I post to say she's no longer a member of MN, so won't be posting on this thread again and she's been in touch with MN Towers to delete all her posts on this thread.

[wannaBe1974]

I'd already reported some of them.

[Mercy]

oh blimey, don't know what else to say really.

Hunker, I agree up to a point with what you say but that could apply to any number of threads tbh, not just SN.

[Kittypickle]

I think that's the nature of MN though, there will always be some sections that people feel uncomfortable posting on as they are worried about how their posts come across. The Depression board is one that I keep away from generally as I'm not confident that I can be as empathetic with this as maybe I could be, but as you say, that's my problem and I guess there will be a board like this for most MNetters.

A "triumph" thread is a lovely way of putting it I think (can I sneak in here that my nearly 8 year old has today mastered being about to say "three" after practising it for weeks following other children in her class teasing her )

It's a shame that QofQ feels she needs to leave MN over this thread. I personally don't understand what it was that got her so cross as to be as abusive as she ended up in her threads but obviously she felt she had reason to do so. Hopefully she will like many MNetters who leave, will come back in due course. I think when MN affects people to this extent, some time away is a very positive thing.

With regards to Tigermoth's suggestion about something on the Homepage, I think potentially it could be a postitive thing but will probably need a fair bit of (calm) discussion of how to go about it)

[tamum]

I've just read this thread with growing incredulity- where on earth did all that bile come from? It's not often that posts shock me, but the one about the "SN club" certainly did.

[soapbox]

Whoooooowh [sound of exhaling breath]

Lets not get things out of proportion - one poster had a mad moment or two, let's not pretend that that reflects the views of the rest of the posters on this thread

[tamum]

No, I should clarify that I was talking about specific posts, not the thread in general.

[Blandmum]

I keep posting the same thing over and over, I really don't see how a different button makes such a difference, and how this could have lead to such unhappiness and hurt. I just don't get it.

[turquoise]

In reply to the OP -
No, I click on 'with SN'. It's just a habit to get into. I don't feel like I'm intruding, because I rarely post unless it's to add something to a happy thread (have nothing useful to contribute) because I like to keep up with what's going on, as one of my MN friends has both SN and NT children.
I really don't understand the problem.

[Jimjams2]

curlew- I wasn't really saying people were being voyeuristic (although I know it sounds like I was)- I just feel kind of odd that people who never post would care so much about it being an extra mouse click away. It just made me feel a bit weird that people would care that much about reading if they never posted. And I kind of wondered why they were then reading. Does that make some sort of sense? I do read the depressed section occasionally, and post even more rarely, but I just wouldn;t get remotely irate if people on there wanted to change access. It was the irate bit I didn't really understand in context with not posting.

hunkermunker how on earth could posting on a triumph thread be insensitive? Don't fret!

[hub2dee]

[ScummyMummy]

Stunned @ qoq's post. Nasty stuff. Is she having a tough time or something? Not that there is any excuse but I am shocked that anyone would post something so horrible and wondering if there is any mitigating circumstance...

[Mercy]

Scummy, well she is expecting no3 and she has had a rahter tough time recently, but I have seen the victim role played before. Sorry, I don't normally say stuff like that but there you go.

[hamstermunker]

The only time I get mildly irate is when I'm posting merrily and judgementally about an NT child who has Coke in an Avent bottle at the age of five or somesuch lamentable shocker and somebody comes along to say "yeah, but my DS has and won't drink anything other than TCP from a cup with a green bear on, had you thought about that, you heartless judgemental bitch!" and it takes all the fun out of the original judging

I'm being overly whimsical in my description of the TCP-drinking boy's mother (and I earnestly hope not causing offence because that's not my intention), but the sentiment is almost always there on food threads - oh, that and "think of starving children in Africa" - but that could be applied to almost everything that's posted, so it's a bit meaningless, IMO.

[hamstermunker]

To clarify, it's the parents of the NT child with the Coke in the bottle I'm judging

[ScummyMummy]

Thanks Mercy. I would be begging mumsnet to delete it if I was her, tbh.

[soapbox]

Q of Q has these little episodes every so often!

I'm sure she will be back soon.

But I agree with you Scummy that I'd want these posts gone as quickly as possible if I'd written them!

[wannaBe1974]

sorry but IMO there is never any mitigating circumstance for posting what qoQ posted on this thread. After all we could all just be as horrible to one another as we liked and then say "oh but I'm having a tough time of it atm".

If that's the way she wants to conduct herself then personally I'm not sorry she has chosen to leave I think she has made the right decision.

I do find it sad though that there is always one that brings these threads down.

[soapbox]

Wannabe - she just gets the red mist now and again - I don't think she can help herself. I don't think it's how she really is, if that makes any sense.

I'm not in any way defending what she wrote - but I don't think it is a fair reflection of her as a person IYSWIM.